


The Sum of Its Parts

by anonymouschupacabra (accordingtomyresearch)



Series: The Sum of Its Parts [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Multi, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Single Parent AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-04-20 04:12:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 54
Words: 140,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4773023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accordingtomyresearch/pseuds/anonymouschupacabra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanaka unfortunately had somewhat figured out Kageyama’s status with Hinata the baker, or more over, lack of one, months ago. All because of a broken coffee machine, Kageyama found himself walking toward SunFlour bakery with Tanaka hoping that today he could keep his face in check; no such luck was found. One word from Hinata, and Kageyama was a bumbling mess, red from cheek to ear, stumbling through his words and unable to maintain eye contact with him. Tanaka had figured it out almost immediately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [La Suma de sus Partes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10907397) by [YuiMakino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuiMakino/pseuds/YuiMakino)



> So i'm super excited about this fic. i fucking love single parent AU's and tattoo/bakery AU's and i've combined them and i swear it going to be so great and it's like all i can think about right now.  
> but since school has started i probably won't be able to update as frequently as i did my other fic so this will probably be a once a week update. 
> 
> enjoy!

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama was tired. Not that this was an unusual hour for him to be awake, quite the contrary, but regularly waking up at 6:30am didn't mean he was happy about it. His alarm went off beside him, and he moved his hand to quickly silence it. Staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, Kageyama tried to will himself out of bed.

            _You need to get up. Just move._

He tried to convince himself to get up with no avail. He just lay there, listening to the birds chirp, watching as the weak orange light of early morning sunrise filtered in from the opening in his curtains. His eyes follow the stripe of light across the floor to where it landed on his dresser, illuminating the few things he has on top. A hairbrush, a stick of deodorant, a few books and one picture frame. As he watched the light slowly encroach on the picture frame, he heard a small series of noises coming from the hallway. The patter of footsteps grew louder as they approached his door. Kageyama closed his eyes and held his breath in anticipation as his door creaked open. Not moving his head, he listened to sounds of slow approaching steps reaching the bed space next to the bed. He felt the bed dip next to him as he let out a slow breath. The feeling of someone crawling up towards his face made his eyes shut tighter.

            "Daddy, you have to be awake," said a small voice. Tiny hands came to rest on his cheeks, squeezing them together.

            "But I am awake," he mumbled through squished cheeks. He opened his right eye to look at the small child that was sitting up next to him. "See, I'm awake."

            "I'm more awake," the little girl said moving her hands from her father’s cheeks. "Both eyes," she pointed with her fingers to her eyes, "open."

            "I didn't know we were competing," he said smiling and sitting up in the bed. "Look I'm sitting up now, and you're laying down. I'm more awake that you," Kageyama joked as he tickled his daughters belly. She giggled, her short black hair knotting as she twisted trying to get out of her dads grasp. "And look, I'm tickling you. Only super awake people can do that," Kageyama said as he continued to tickle her. He picked her up under her arms and brought her over to sit in his lap on top of the blankets that had pooled there.

            "Only super _super_ awake people can be tickled daddy," she said regaining her breath. She looked up at him with her big deep blue eyes that were so like his own.

            "You are so right Aiko," he said leaning down to give her a kiss on the top of her head. "You win." He brushed her bangs away from in front of her face and smiled softly down at her. She looked up at him and smiled back. She inherited his blue eyes and dark hair and penchant for milk drinks, but the rest of her was pure her mother. She never struggled with her smiles being taken as sinister when they were sincere, like Kageyama had to work so hard to do. Even now as he looked at his daughter he couldn't help but worry that his smile didn't express the amount of love and happiness he wanted to show to her. But his worries were dashed away when Aiko kneeled up in his lap and threw her tiny arms around his neck.

            "I love you daddy," she sighed. He sighed contentedly, wrapping his arms around her tiny body.

            "I love you too, Belly," he said calling her the nickname she loved so much. He could feel her fractionally tighten her grasp on him before letting go and sitting down in his lap again.

            "Breakfast now please?" She asked wiggling. He got of a hold of her and he moved his legs to get off the bed. Carrying her out of his room and down the hall into the kitchen he listened to all the things she listed as what she wanted from breakfast.

            "Ok how about you pick two of those things and I make that?" Kageyama asked setting her down in her chair at their small table.

            "Ok let me think," Aiko said seriously placing her arms on the table and resting her chin in her hands. Kageyama watched her tightly close her eyes in concentration.

            "Whenever you're ready," Kageyama chuckled as he walked to the fridge.

* * *

 

            "But can't I get a snack before I go in?" Aiko asked as Kageyama opened the car door and went to unbuckle her from her car seat.

            "Aiko you literally just ate," Kageyama said as he struggled with the clasp release. He furrowed his brow in frustration as he pressed down on the buckle.

            "Can we get snacks before we go home?" She calmly negotiated as she watched her father struggle. “Good snacks, I don’t like the ones from the store anymore.”

            "Yes, ok. We will get good snacks before we go home," Kageyama said exasperated, as he pressed the clasp with as much force as he could.

            "Yay!" She cried happily. She gently moved her dad’s hands aside who watched in frustration as she easily popped the buckle open. Giving him a huge toothy grin, she hopped out of the car.

            "How can you always do that when I can't?" Kageyama said in awe as he grabbed her tiny backpack from inside the car.

            "Because I'm magic," Aiko said swigging her arms from side to side as he watched her dad lock the car.

            "Yeah ok Miss Magic, let's get you inside," he said throwing her tiny backpack over his shoulder and grabbing her little hand in his. They walked down the block to the daycare center that Aiko spends her day in. When they walked through the doors, Aiko immediately gave her dad a quick "bye daddy!" And ran off to join the other kids that were already playing inside.

            "Remember when she didn't want you to leave her here?" said an ash-blonde man behind the front desk said. Kageyama turned to look him.

            "Is it kind of bad that I kind of miss that?" Kageyama said ruefully turning to him, rubbing the back of his neck.

            "Not at all," he laughed lightly. "But this is good, that means she's comfortable here."

            "Yeah I guess so, Suga," Kageyama said looking over at him. When he turned his head to watch Aiko, he saw her running back over to him.

            "Daddy! Daddy wait!" She said a little out of breath. Kageyama kneeled down to be at eye level with her. "Don't take my book bag."

            "Oh, right," he said just realizing that he still had it in his shoulder. He took it off and handed it to her and watched as she slid it in her back. "Have a good day Belly," he said brushing his fingers through her short dark hair.

            "You too daddy," she said smiling at him. "Draw me more pictures."

            "I will try to," he said. He placed a kiss on her forehead before she turned around and ran off to play with the other kids. He watched her go before standing up and turning to Suga.

            "I'll be back around 4," he said.

            "Ok, we'll see you then Kageyama," Suga said pleasantly. Kageyama waved slightly as he walked out of the daycare and started down the street to work.  

* * *

 

            "Ok we're all done here," Kageyama said leaning back in his chair and taking off his latex gloves. The man lying on the table in front of him sat up trying to look at his back.

            "Can I see it?" The man pointed to the fresh tattoo on his back.

            "Yeah," Kageyama said pointing to the large wall to ceiling mirror next to him. The man got off the table and walked over to the mirror. Kageyama handed him a hand held mirror to see it better.

            "Dude that's incredible!" The guy said looking at his reflection. "How did you get that amount of detail in the mane?" He asked amazed. Kageyama just looked up at him and gave him an awkward smile.

            "I'm pretty good," Kageyama said gesturing to the giant lion's head that spanned the mans back.

            "You're awesome. Thank you so much!" The man said clasping Kageyama’s hand in thanks. Kageyama shook his hand, still not used to the human reaction part of tattooing.

            "Uh, um you're welcome," he said, trying to make his deep gruff voice sound as sincere as possible. "Let's go to the front," he said gesturing out of his tattooing room. Kageyama led him to the front counter.

            "Yoooooooo let me see!" said a loud booming voice. Kageyama turned to see his coworker running over to him.

            "Tanaka means your tattoo," Kageyama said to the man who looked a bit confused.

            "Oh right," the guy said lifting his shirt to expose the new tattoo. It was still red from the raw skin and shinny from the healing cream but it still looked incredible.

            "That's so amazing right!? So fucking badass," Tanaka cried looking at the guys new tattoo.

            "Right!?" The guy said excitedly. "My friend recommended Kageyama after he got his shark tattoo and I have to say I'm so not disappointed." Tanaka moved his tattoo-covered finger hovering over the guys skin tracing some of the lines.

            "But like, this is beautiful work, Kageyama. Did you photograph it yet?" Tanaka said examining the details.

            "No, but he's making another appointment for this color work, I'll do it then," Kageyama said pulling out his phone. "Shit it's 4:15 I have to go," he said looking at the time.

            "Oh yeah go, man I got this," Tanaka said waving Kageyama off.

            "Thanks, I'll be back," Kageyama said grabbing his jacket and ran out of the tattoo shop. He threw on his jacket over his heavily tattooed arms and walked down the block. Grunting in frustration he tried to quicken his pace to get to the day care faster. Reaching the door he quickly threw it open and ran threw the door.

            "Hey sorry I'm late," Kageyama said coming into the daycare. Suga walked over carrying a small crying child.

            "Hey it's no problem, I'll get Aiko right now," Suga said smiling trying to sooth the crying kid. He walked back to the play area. Kageyama turned to the desk and signed Aiko out on clipboard then stood there awkwardly waiting. He heard to patter of feet fast approaching and looked up as saw Aiko running towards him.

            “Daddy!” she squealed jumping up into his arms. He bent down to catch her, lifting her up.

            “Hey Belly,” he said softly brushing her hair from her face. “Did you have a good day?” he said as he took her backpack that Suga handed him and pulled it over his shoulder.

            “The best, are we getting snacks now?” she asked excitedly. He gave him a toothy grin. He heard Suga give a small incredulous huff.

            “She literally just finished snack time,” he said looking a bit anxious.

            “Suga I know you feed her well, she’s just always hungry,” he said reassuring the caretaker. “That’s why she’s my little Belly; always hungry,” he said smiling at Aiko who giggled.

            “Bye!” Aiko said waving at Suga as Kageyama carried her out of the daycare. “Snacks daddy, we need snacks.”

            “Ok we need snacks, mhm” Kageyama said walking down the block towards his work. “What kind of snacks?”

            “Cookie! No, cupcakes! No, brownie!” she cried wiggling in his grasp. Kageyama smiled at her with his eyebrow raised.

            “Ok, how about you pick one of those?” he said crossing the street. She played with the collar of his jacket in deep thought.

            “I want to see them first,” she said seriously. She looked at Kageyama in the eye. He nodded.

            “Alright, I know where we can go,” he said walking into a small bakery. When Aiko saw where he had brought her she started eagerly squirming in his grasp until he had to put her down. She immediately ran over to the display counter and pressed her face up against the glass to stare hungrily at the cookies and cupcakes and brownies inside.

            “Hi how may I- oh Kageyama!” said a cheerful voice as the lanky guy walked over to that portion of the counter. Huge gangly arms came over the side of the counter and a gray haired head looked down towards where Aiko had her face pressed up against the glass.

            “Lev!” Aiko cheered looking up at the face hovering above hers.

            “Aiko!” Lev said happily as Aiko jumped up and down excitedly. “My favorite little costumer I missed you so muc- ouch!” he said getting cut off by a smack to the top of his head.

            “How many times do I have to tell you not to lean on the counter,” said a authoritative voice behind him. Kageyama watched as the shorter but older dark haired man crossed his arms and gave Lev an expectant look.

            “Sorry Daichi,” Lev said rubbing the back of his head.  Daichi just shook his head and walked back over to where he was organizing the bread shelves before walking back into the back kitchen. Lev watched him walk away and as soon as he was out of earshot he leaned over the counter again to look at Aiko again. “Sorry about that Aiko, can you come around so I don’t get yelled at again?” She giggled and nodded her head and ran over to the open part of the counter as Lev walked around it.

            “How does it feel to be back for the summer?” Kageyama said as Lev kneeled down so he and Aiko could look at the display. Lev turned his head to face Kageyama who was standing above him with what he hoped was a friendly smile. Though Aiko had the ability to make friends easily, he did not have that gift.

            “Weird, kind of good though. I missed my mom and stuff,” Lev said shrugging. “But university was still amazing, but I don’t know, I like being back. It was only my first year, I’m sure each year it’ll get better,” he said to Kageyama.

            “Lev, Lev! Is that chocolate?” Aiko asked pointing to a cupcake that was covered in sugar flowers.

            “No those are vanilla, but those,” he pointed to the tray next to it with similar sugar flower decoration, “those are chocolate.”

            “Oh I want that one!” she said excitedly tapping the glass. She looked back at Kageyama who knelt down next to her as Lev got up to retrieve the cupcake.

            “Is a cupcake a snack?” Kageyama said knowingly to Aiko. She seemed to shrink under his gaze a bit.

            “I will eat my whole dinner. Everything,” she said persuasively. She looked at him with her big blue eyes. Kageyama stared at her seriously until his glare broke and he relented smiling. He stood up to pay for the cupcake and he could hear her whisper a small “yes” as she grasped for the cupcake Lev placed on the counter.

            “Here you go Belly,” Kageyama said handing his daughter the treat off the counter. She took it and started on it immediately, frosting getting all over her face.

            “Nothing for you Kageyama?” Lev said closing the register. Kageyama looked at Lev who, though stood significantly taller than him, still had the air of a small child looking at an adult.

            “Ah, no. I’m ok, thanks,” Kageyama said. He looked around awkwardly as his daughter devoured the cupcake next to him. “So...you’re working here for the summer and then going back to school?”

            “Yeah, Hinata was totally cool about me just working the summer. I’m trying to save up to get my own apartment for next year, so Hinata said he’d give me extra shifts so I can make more money,” Lev said leaning his arm on the counter.

            “Oh Hinata said that? That was really nice of him,” Kageyama said trying for an unaffected nonchalance hoping his voice seemed normal. Lev didn’t seem to notice.

            “Hinata said he’d even let me man the front counter in the afternoons without him, which is why,” he gestured to himself alone at the counter, “it’s just me today,” he said smirking proudly.

            “Oh so Hinata’s not here today?” Kageyama said a little deflated. He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over to the double doors that led into the kitchen. He could hear the sounds of baking and talking but he couldn’t pick out Hinata’s voice. A little disappointed he glanced back at Lev who was handing Aiko several napkins for the frosting all over her face.

            “Um no, he’s not,” he said straining to lean over the counter to wipe Aiko face. Kageyama took the napkin from him and knelt down to clean his giggling daughters face; thankful he had something to do so Lev couldn’t see the obvious disappointment in his face. “He left to run some errands but he should be- oh here he is. Hey boss!”

            Kageyama felt all the hairs on his body stand up on end as he heard the bright sounds of Hinata’s voice answering Lev float into his ears. Trying to focus on cleaning Aiko, Kageyama wiped her face with a bit too much force.

            “Ow daddy,” Aiko complained moving her face out of his grasp. She pouted and rubbed the part of her cheek that he rubbed too hard. She turned her head and saw Hinata walk in through the door Gleefully she jumped up and down when he walked in. “Hinata! Hinata!”

            “Hey Aiko,” Hinata said sunnily walking over to her and kneeling down to her eye level. “I see you ate one my flower cupcakes,” he commented smiling as he pointed to the blue frosting that was still clinging to her hair. “I like the blue streak, very chic.”

            “It was really good,” she giggled as he ruffled her hair and stood up. He looked over at Kageyama who could feel himself tensing as Hinata walked toward him.

            “Hey Kageyama,” Hinata said cheerily walking past him and around the counter to the other side and through the double doors.

            “He-hey,” Kageyama stuttered, stumbling awkwardly trying to turn in place. But Hinata had already gone into the kitchen. Releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding he stared blankly at the still swinging doors and they stilled in their movements. He was jarred out of his trance by a tug on the sleeve of his jacket. He looked down at his daughter and scooped her up into his arms before turning back to Lev who was smirking slightly. “I’ll um, see you later I guess. Its nice to have you back,” he said trying a short smile. “Tell um- bye,” he said shaking his head free of what he was going to say.

            “Bye Lev!” Aiko called out, waving to him as Kageyama carried her out of the bakery.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my updates are going to be so erratic i can feel it. 
> 
> also from my last fic some people kind of mentioned they skipped any smut or sexy stuff so i thought for this fic i'd put like a super short, hopefully not too spoilery, warning if there's going to be something
> 
> *warning* like super mild sexual situations that happen between one person and their hand

            “I bet you froze up didn’t you,” Tanaka said knowingly looking over at Kageyama who was pointedly ignoring him in favoring of staring a hole into his sketchbook. “I bet he was all normal like ‘hi Kageyama’ and you were all weird like ‘oh, uh, er, hi’. Right? Am I right?” he said trying to get Kageyama’s attention.

            “I said hey,” Kageyama mumbled as he worked on his drawing. Tanaka sat perched on top of his tattooing table with Aiko sprawled out next to him drawing in her own sketchbook. Tanaka laughed startling Aiko from her concentration.

            “Tanaka you’re too loud,” Aiko said not looking up from her drawing. Kageyama looked at Tanaka giving him a smug look before turning back to his book.

            “Sorry ‘Ko,” he said petting her head. She hummed in acknowledgement as she focused on her drawing again. “But seriously you should just talk to him, like a person. Like an adult.” Kageyama looked over at him pointedly, looking between Tanaka and Aiko in a ‘stop talking about this right now’ motion. “Fiiiine,” Tanaka said throwing his hands up in surrender. He slid off the table.

            Kageyama glared at his back as he left his tattooing room. Sighing he looked down at his unfinished drawing that he had been trying to focus on for the past hour. Looking at his phone he saw that it was already 5:30.

            “Ok Belly, time to go,” he said putting his drawing supplies away. He turned off his desk lamp and swiveled his chair to face his daughter still furiously drawing in her sketchbook. “Aiko, come on time to go home,” he said wheeling his chair closer to her.

            “Ok Daddy, give me one second,” she said her tongue sticking out in concentration. He watched her draw furiously, selecting different colored pencils for various sections of her drawing. Kageyama always loved watching his daughter draw. Since he and her mom were both very artistic, it was almost a given that Aiko was going to have the same natural talent. But Kageyama found she did not only have the natural talent but also a relentless fervor in pursuing it. She was always drawing, coloring, painting creating in some form or another, sometimes with a frequency that surprised Kageyama. He would often find his small child up late, drawing feverishly in her sketchbook, not able to go to bed without emptying her mind of the drawing that had taken residency there. He felt certain a connection to that need, that compulsion, to create and draw and he too often found himself up to all hours, fixated on a particular drawing or design.

            “Hey, I know you are super into this drawing but we do have to go,” Kageyama said leaning his head close to his daughters. He ran his fingers through her dark hair, moving the bangs from where it fell in front of her eyes. “Come on, you can continue drawing when we get home. Ok Belly?” he said softly trying to pull her attention. She finally looked up at him setting her color pencil down in defeat.

            “Ok daddy,” she sighed, sitting up on the table to put her art supplies away. Kageyama helped her return all the pencils in color order back into the box, and back into the drawer that Kageyama kept specifically for Aiko’s things in his tattoo room. Closing the drawer he picked her up and closed the door behind him as he walked out through the front, waving at Tanaka at the front desk.

            “Bye ‘Ko!” Tanaka said waving at her as Kageyama carried her out. She waved back enthusiastically as the main door closed behind them.

* * *

 

            “And then Katsu told Rei that Yasu was playing with her dolls, but but it wasn’t true, and Yasu was crying cause Rei yelled at her but then Katsu had to apologize and and he had to spend the _whole_ playtime in time out and then- Daddy you’re not listening!” Aiko accused as she tried to wave her small hand in front of her dad’s face to get his attention. Kageyama, who had spaced out staring at his dinner, blinked owlishly before turning his head to face his daughter next to him. “You have to pay attention,” she scolded crossing her tiny arms angrily.

            “Sorry Aiko, I was listening even though it didn’t look like I was,” he said pushing around his food on his plate. She gave him a look through the corner of her eyes.

            “Ok... but look I ate everything,” she said showing off her empty plate. She smiled wide at him, as she hopped off her chair and tried to reach into the sink to put her plate into it. Kageyama got up and took his half eaten plate to the sink too. Helping her place her plate in the sink, he lifted her up and sat her on the counter next to him as he washed the dishes.

            “Tomorrow we’re going to watch a movie and Emi told me that it was going to be a scary movie but I said that we were too little and she said that her mommy lets her watch scary movies and that I was a baby if I was scared,” she said kicking her legs back forth. “Daddy...do you think I’m a baby?”

            “I think you’re my baby,” he said smiling at her.

            “Be serious!” she huffed crossing her arms. Furrowing in her eyebrows she looked up at him. “Am I a baby because I don’t want to watch a scary movie?” she asked cautiously. Kageyama turned off the water and dried his hands on the back of his pants before taking Aiko’s in his.

            “You are not a baby for being scared. It’s called a scary movie. If you weren’t supposed to be scared when you watched it, then it would be called a happy movie,” Kageyama explained, Aiko giggling at his description. “And being scared doesn’t make you a baby, it makes you human. Everyone gets scared sometimes.”

            “Do...do you ever get scared daddy?” Aiko asked warily. She looked up at him through her eyelashes.

            “Every day,” he breathed. Aiko’s eyes widened. “I take care of this amazing little girl and I’m scared every day for her. Is she healthy, is she safe, is she getting everything she needs, I worry about all of that and I’m scared every day that maybe I’m not doing something right. But mostly I’m just scared that you’re not happy. I get so scared that I’m doing something wrong. But that doesn’t make me a baby, it just makes me human; and that’s ok.” Aiko just stared up at him with her big blue eyes becoming watery at the corners.

            “D-daddy you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not a baby,” she said quietly. “You’re the best daddy I could ever want. You love me and draw me things and buy me cupcakes. I love you daddy,” she said sincerely. Kageyama moved his hands to the side of her face and tilted it down so he could kiss the top of her head.

            “And you’re the best daughter I could have ever wanted, Belly,” he smiled at her. He picked her up off the counter and walked her into their living room. “Ok how about we watch a not-scary movie before bed?” he suggested placing her down next to him on their couch. Aiko excitedly wiggled in her seat on the couch, crisscrossing her legs as Kageyama turned on the TV.

* * *

 

           It was somewhere past 9pm by the time Kageyama finally got Aiko to go to bed. After watching an entire movie and then fighting with her to get her into the bath and then fighting with her to get her out of the bath then reading to her then staying until she fell asleep, Kageyama felt the pull of exhaustion himself. Picking up the living room a bit, his thoughts drifted to early that afternoon in the bakery. 

            Sighing as he folding the blanket he liked to keep on the couch, Kageyama thought about how frustrated he was with his... he couldn’t even bring himself to call it a crush. A crush is for preteen children who have years before they truly grasp the concept of romantic relationships. Crushes are transient, shallow, and unimportant. Kageyama had real things to think about; bills, his work, his daughter. Not some guy who owns a bakery and knows nothing more than his name and any periphery facts about him. And yet...

            Running a hand over his face, Kageyama flopped back onto the couch. Tanaka unfortunately had somewhat figured out Kageyama’s status with Hinata the baker, or more over, lack of one, months ago. All because of a broken coffee machine, Kageyama found himself walking toward **SunFlour** with Tanaka hoping that today he could keep his face in check; no such luck was found. One word from Hinata, and Kageyama was a bumbling mess, red from cheek to ear, stumbling through his words and unable to maintain eye contact with him. Tanaka had figured it out almost immediately. Naturally the walk back to work, coffees in hand, was a barrage of questions ranging of marginally personal to down right invasive. Tanaka pried until Kageyama relented telling him yes, he had been going to that bakery for a long while, yes they knew him by name, and yes he could say that he was somewhat attracted to the owner Hinata.

            “Somewhat attracted? I’ve seen you talk to hotter guys with out so much as a hiccup,” Tanaka had said following Kageyama into his tattooing room. “You like this guy, you should totally ask him out.”  

            “Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Kageyama had told him trying to settle in for his first appointment of the day.

            “What not?” Tanaka questioned sitting on the tattooing chair Kageyama had set up for the customer.  “You’re young, you’re somewhat attractive,” Kageyama glared at him, “any guy would be lucky to date you. You should ask him out.”

            “Mhm, and what do I do with Aiko?” Kageyama had asked finding the hole in Tanaka’s reasoning.

            “Kageyama,” Tanaka had said seriously, “you can’t use her as excuse not to go out or meet someone. You’re still young. Just because you have a daughter doesn’t mean that you’re, you know, done. I know that if Aiko could really understand or when she’s older, she wouldn’t way you to put her in the way of your happiness.”

            Rubbing his eyes, Kageyama tried to push all thoughts of that conversation out of his mind. Since then Tanaka had been all but relentless about Kageyama pursuing Hinata in some form or another. He tried to explain that just because he found him somewhat attractive didn’t mean that he had to do anything about it. That was the reasoning Kageyama had used for about 2 years and so far it seemed to have worked out fine.

            He rotated his neck trying to free it of the tension that had built up there. Rubbing the back of his neck he found that his muscles were really tight there. Sighing in annoyance at his own constant level of frustration, he tried stretching to release some of the tightness in his neck and arms to no avail. Settling his hands on his legs, his mind went to the tried and true method he usually used to relax. After about a 30 second contemplation period, Kageyama quickly unzipped his pants and lowered his jeans and briefs just enough so he could wrap his hand around his half hard dick. Rolling his neck again, trying to clear his mind so he could focus, Kageyama quickly brought his hand up to his mouth to lick a hasty stripe on his palm before grabbing hold of himself. He carefully moved his hand up and down himself, trying to establish some sort of rhythm. Focusing on the feeling, he bit down on his lip to stop himself from making any noise. It wasn’t often that he got to masturbate, so when he did, it was always too long from the last time, and over too soon. Fighting fleeting thoughts of amber eyes and ginger hair, Kageyama rapidly brought himself to orgasm. Taking deep breaths, Kageyama took a tissue from the box on the side table next to him with his left hand and cleaned up his right. Feeling mildly better, he sunk into the couch a bit, pulling up his brief and jeans and re-buttoning them.

            Too tired to watch anything on the TV Kageyama forced himself to get up and go to bed. Checking in on Aiko and finding her fast asleep, Kageyama quietly made his way into the bathroom. Showering and getting ready for bed, Kageyama went around shutting off all the lights in the apartment before closing the door behind him into his bedroom and crawling into bed. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this is like a background kind of chapter, but it's like super important  
> (also the comments are awesome, as usual)
> 
> *warning* descriptions of sexaul situations

            Pulling open the door to the tattoo shop quickly, Kageyama rushed in taking off his jacket in a hurry. Catching the hem of his sleeve on his watch, he stumbled through the doorway tripping over his own feet in his rush to get through the door.

            “S-sorry I’m late Iwaizumi,” Kageyama said righting himself and walking over to the front counter where the owner of the tattoo shop was working on the main computer. “I had car troubles and I had to get Aiko to daycare.”

            “Kageyama, relax,” Iwaizumi said not even looking up from what he was typing. “It’s fine, it’s literally always fine. I don’t care that you’re-” he looked up at the clock at the top of the screen, “15 minutes late.” Iwaizumi swiveled his chair so he could look up at Kageyama who was standing uncomfortably on the other side of the counter. “You don’t take appointments till 10am and it’s only 8:15, you need to relax more. I can’t have you having some health issue cause you’re wound so tight.”

            “I know, I’m just... thank you,” Kageyama said awkwardly. He walked past the counter and through the long hallway that led to all the tattoo artists’ rooms. He tried to pass Tanaka’s room quickly but to no avail.

            “Hey! Hey Kageyama,” Tanaka called out moving around his tattooing table to try to get to Kageyama before he went into his room. Kageyama slowed his pace so he could catch up when he realized he wouldn’t have enough time to go into his workroom and shut the door behind him. “Hey I wanted to ask you something,” Tanaka said falling into step next to him as they walked into Kageyama’s tattoo room one door down and across.

            “Um, sure. What is it?” Kageyama said setting his jacket on the hook behind his door. Taking a seat at his drawing desk, Tanaka plopped himself down on Kageyama’s tattooing table.

            “Ok so I’ve been talking to this chick, right?” Tanaka began, crisscrossing his legs on the table. Kageyama immediately shrunk uncomfortably in his seat. “And like, well, I really like her and stuff but like, she’s all cold and shit- which like don’t get me wrong, I’m _so_ into. But also like I want to, you know,” he said wiggling his eyebrows and making a suggestive hand motion, “move things along, you get me?” he said nodding his head toward Kageyama who couldn’t school his face in time to control the grimace that formed there. “In-in a respectful way of course. No forcing anyone here, I’m not an asshole. I just, I really like her and I want to... I guess show her that?”

            “Um... I’m not really seeing a question here,” Kageyama said grimacing, completely uncomfortable now.

            “Oh well, I thought you could give me some, I don’t know, advice I guess? On how to move things forward. Take that next step,” Tanaka asked gesturing vaguely. Kageyama stared at him horrified.

            “W-why would you think I could give you advice on that?” Kageyama asked scandalized. “How should I know?”

            “...Cause you have a kid?” Tanaka said slowly as if he wasn’t sure if Kageyama was going to understand him. “I assumed, and correct me if I’m wrong here, but you’ve probably gotten to _that_ point with a girl at least once. Like definitely, at least one time. Maybe twice. Definitely once.” Kageyama exhaled through his gritted teeth, his head thrown back.

            “I mean...you’re not wrong,” Kageyama said cautiously, tilting his head forward to face Tanaka again.

            “Yeah, I didn’t think so,” Tanaka said dubiously. “Ok, stop hoarding your secrets. Tell me how you created that beautiful little girl.”

            “Um, gross,” Kageyama grimacing again, Tanaka shrugged. “Well, honestly um... I’m not exactly a ladies man,” Kageyama said shifting in his seat, refusing to make eye contact.

            “Well, you’re bisexual, right? I know about your gigantic crush on that baker,” Tanaka said leaning his elbow on his knee, putting his chin on his fist.

            “Er, not exactly,” Kageyama said tracing the lines of his skeletal tattoo on his hand with his finger, his head turned down to avoid Tanaka’s gaze. “I mean I never told you cause mostly, it’s not relevant but I’m actually just, you know, gay.” Kageyama looked up at Tanaka through his fringe.

            “Oh ok man, that’s cool,” Tanaka said giving him a reassuring smile. His face then fell in confusion. “Wait no hold on, how are you suppose to react when someone comes out to you? I feel like I just did it wrong.”

            “I don’t actually really know,” Kageyama said curiously. “I’m sure that was fine- its’s fine. I-I think its fine. We’re fine.”

            “Good, good as long as I didn’t offend you or anything. One of my best friend’s is gay but he never actually came out to me at any point. He just kind of always had boyfriends and no one ever said anything so I’ve never had the proper ‘coming out’ experience,” Tanaka explained. Kageyama just nodded. “But I’m glad that you felt comfortable telling me...even though I kind of accidentally forced it out of you.”

            “No, no it’s fine,” Kageyama said. They fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence.

            “So... I mean if you don’t mind me asking...” Tanaka said slowly gauging Kageyama’s reaction. When he didn’t immediately get angry he continued. “How did you...um, have Aiko then? I’m not sure how to phrase this,” he said unsurely.

            “Are you asking me why I have my daughter?” Kageyama rephrased.

            “Yes...no? Kind of,” he said apprehensively. “Just pick which ever is the most inoffensive way of phrasing that question.”

            “It’s fine you can ask,” Kageyama said smiling slightly at Tanaka’s inexpert verbal fumbling. “Um, it’s not really that interesting. Basically when I was in college I had a girlfriend. We dated for a while... a long while,” Kageyama sighed sitting back in his chair. “And you know you, we... I loved her, I mean I still love her. I will always love her in someway. She’s the mother of my child, and... I love her, I just do,” he said gesticulating awkwardly. Tanaka gave him a small nod to continue.

            “Yeah and so...” Kageyama paused looking up at him. He felt a rush to just get the words out. “Ok so we were together right? For like 2 years in our last years of college. And for about 1 and half of those years, we just didn’t have sex. I mean like, we did hand/ mouth stuff but never like, vaginal....sex. And at first I thought that maybe she just didn’t want to, you know, not yet. But, I never really... I guess thought about it much. It never occurred to me that I just literally wasn’t interested. Because I never tried to initiate some sort of... anyway, I thought I was just... waiting for her to tell me when she wanted to.

            “So a year and half goes by and no sex, right. And it’s the night of one of her gallery shows and she’s like ‘I think we should have sex tonight’ which of course freaks me out because there I was, you know, 21 years no sex, a year and a half into my relationship and suddenly she’s like ‘lets fuck’. But I agree of course.

            “So we go back to her apartment and we start... um...you know...uh,” Kageyama trailed off.

            “Foreplay,” Tanaka provided, engrossed in the story.

           “Yeah that,” Kageyama said self-consciously. “And it finally comes time to, you know um... and I can’t. Like, I literally just can’t.”

            “What? Was it like...soft?” Tanaka said quietly.

            “Practically completely,” Kageyama said rubbing his face with both hands. “But she’s laying there and I feel so weird and kind awful and I want to do it, but something feels wrong. And she’s just so... expecting? I don’t know, she was just looking at me like I’m going to do something amazing and I love her so I don’t want to disappoint her. So I start racking my brain trying to think of something, anything to get me hard again. And the first thing I think of is this guy who was in my printmaking class who was just so gorgeous. Naturally I’m like ‘whoa, ok?’ but I’m so desperate that I don’t even care. So that works right and we’re.... fucking right? And all I can think about is this guy in my printmaking class. And it’s over like embarrassingly fast, but she’s all satisfied and of course it was great, but all I can think about is how I just had sex with my girlfriend and the whole time I was thinking about this guy.”

            “That must have been...eye opening,” Tanaka said.

            “To say the least,” Kageyama sighed. “So to her it went well, of course. I mean, she had no idea that I was picturing fucking some guy the whole time instead of her. So she now is really into sex and...” Kageyama sighs again.

            “Now you’re doing it all the time but you don’t know how to tell her you’re not into it,” Tanaka finishes.

            “Exactly,” Kageyama says rubbing his temples. “And I mean I love her, so I felt marginally guilty about not...wanting to. And they more we did it the more I have to think about guys to even do anything.”

            “Dude...”Tanaka says shaking his head.

            “I know,” Kageyama says tilting his head back. “So, almost six months into this and it’s like a month to graduation and she tells me she’s 3 months pregnant.”

            “Dude...” Tanaka says again.

            “I know,” Kageyama sits back up in his chair. “So of course I propose; I tell her we’ll get married right after graduation and we can move in together and everything will be great.”

            “But?” Tanaka asks apprehensively.

            “But...she turned me down. She says that she can’t have a baby right now and she doesn’t want to get married right out of college and she’s scared,” Kageyama says quietly. “She starts crying and I don’t know what to do so... I just tell her I’m gay.”

            “And what happened?” Tanaka asked staring at Kageyama who was watching his feet tap a rhythm on the floor.

            “She hit me,” Kageyama said looking up at Tanaka, shrugging. “I don’t blame her. She yelled at me for proposing and then coming out to her.” Tanaka started laughing hysterically; Kageyama couldn’t help but smile too. “She said she had a feeling that I was and was just waiting for me to tell her.”

            “So what happened afterward? I mean, unless you had sex with another girl, I’m guessing that baby was Aiko,” Tanaka said when he stopped laughing.

            “No, no more women,” Kageyama said shaking his head. “Yeah that was Aiko. Well we um, broke up for obvious reasons. After graduation we did move in together for a little while, and we lived together till Aiko was about 4 months old. Basically, until I got a real job and could provide for her. I was already almost done with my apprenticeship at a tattoo shop by our university, I just had to then find a place that would hire me.”

            “And she just let you go? With Aiko?” Tanaka asked softly.

            “It wasn’t like it wasn’t hard for her,” Kageyama said seriously. “I mean she cried. For so long. It was heart breaking for her. Possibly the hardest thing she will ever have to do. But her job was super demanding. She was working 12-hour days, traveling, and the pay wasn’t exactly steady either. She knew she couldn’t provide a...I guess stable environment for Aiko. She gave me full custody because she loved her, not because she was selfish. If she was truly selfish, she would have kept her, and deep down she knew that.”  

            “And that’s when you came to work here right?” Tanaka asked gently. Kageyama nodded his head.

            “It was brutal at first. I was 22 with a 4 month old and full time job with no family, no friends and no connections,” Kageyama sighed. “You weren’t here when Aiko was still a baby... it was hard. You started here when she was talking around 18 months I think, that was past the really hard part,” Kageyama shuddered.

            “But you did it, I mean you’re here. And Aiko,” Tanaka smiled, “she’s an amazing little kid. Seriously, you did a good job.”

            “I hope so,” Kageyama said quietly. “So yeah, that’s... that’s why I have Aiko.”

            “Well I don’t know why you said that that wasn’t going to be interesting. That’s one of the most interesting stories about someone I may have ever heard,” Tanaka said leaning over to put his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. “And I respect you like 400 times more now.”  
            “Thanks,” Kageyama said awkwardly, the adrenaline of telling his story waning, leaving him feeling slightly too vulnerable. He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair.

            “So I guess I won’t be coming to you for any more lady advice,” Tanaka joked rubbing his shaved head. “But, thanks for telling me. You can always talk to me know.”

            “Yeah I know,” Kageyama said smiling slightly as there was a hard knock on his door.

            “Um, you children going to sit around gossiping all day or am I actually going to pay you to do work?” Iwaizumi said sternly.

            “Sorry Iwa!” Tanaka said jumping off Kageyama’s tattooing table. He walked past Iwaizumi trying to dodge the smack he gave to the back of his head unsuccessfully. He went into his workroom rubbing the back of his head. Iwaizumi turned to Kageyama as he saw Tanaka go out of earshot.

            “So I overheard you a bit,” Iwaizumi said, his deep authoritative voice laced with concern. “I’m glad you’re opening up more.”

            “Yeah well, it was either tell him or lie, so it’s no big deal,” Kageyama said flatly pulling out his large drawing pad.

            “No, it’s a big deal,” Iwaizumi said serenely. “You deserve friends you know, and you could do worse than Tanaka. He’s loud but he’s harmless, and he means well.”

            “I know,” Kageyama said turning on his drawing lamp. They were silent for a moment.

            “You should schedule in a day off for yourself soon. I know, you have the next two weeks or so booked up with appointments but, pick a day, preferably a Friday or Monday, and take a fucking day off,” Iwaizumi instructed. Kageyama looked up at him with a soft glare. “I’m serious. You’re here everyday, 8 to 4 and then you stay longer to draw, for fuck’s sake you need a breather.”

            “I _like_ my job,” Kageyama said forcefully. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

            “I didn’t say you didn’t. I _said_ you needed to take a break every so often. Spend the day with Aiko, go do something fun,” Iwaizumi said crossing his large muscular arms. “If you don’t give yourself a day off I will,” he said with finality and walked out of his workroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was kind of short so i didn't want there to be such a long wait for a short chapter. but hinata is in this chapter!!!

            “Daddy!” Aiko cheered as she came running towards Kageyama when he came to pick her up from daycare that afternoon.

            “Hey, Belly. How was your day?” he asked lifting her up into his arms.

            “We watched a movie and it was really good and there were songs and the people sang and they were dancing and I loved it and I want to watch it again,” Aiko said without seeming to take a breath.

            “Seems like you had a good day,” he said as he took her backpack from Suga. “Was everything ok today with her...classmates?” he asked Suga as he put her down so she could use the bathroom one last time. “Yesterday she was upset because someone called her a baby for being scared or something?”

            “Ah yes, Emi and her got into a small disagreement yesterday but all was forgotten today and they were playing together amicably,” Suga said. “That often happens with kids their age.”

            “Oh ok, I was just um...worried,” Kageyama said sheepishly.

            “It’s ok, I’ve had parents worried more about less,” Suga smiled. “You can talk to the other caretaker Asahi, he spends most of the day with them,” he pointed to a giant man who was currently sitting on the floor surrounded by half a dozen small children helping them create paper chain links.

            “It’s fine I believe you,” Kageyama nodding his head to Suga. Smiling Suga patted Kageyama’s shoulder and walked back over to the other children as Aiko came out of the bathroom. “Ready?”

            “Yes, can we get a snack?” Aiko asked happily grabbing her dad’s hand. Kageyama just sighed. “Snack! Snack! Snack!” she chanted as they walked out of the daycare.

            “Stop chanting Aiko,” Kageyama chuckled squeezing her hand. “Yes of course we can get a snack.”

            “Oh can we go to the Shun-fou...shun-fur...shun...fl... ow,” she tried to say looking at the name above the bakery.

            “The SunFlour?” Kageyama said for her.

            “Yes! Lev!” she cheered. Kageyama frowned slightly.

            “Fine but no cupcakes this time. You can’t eat one everyday,” he warned. “And that doesn’t mean you can have a brownie or cookie either. That counts too, missy.” 

            “Ugh, fine,” she huffed in a way that almost perfectly mimicked her dad. He couldn’t help but smile at her as they walked into the bakery.

            “Lev!” she called out in her high squeaky voice. The lanky guy behind the counter looked down at the tiny little girl calling his name.

            “Aiko! Two days in a row!” he cried matching her beaming smile. She just skipped over to the open part of the counter to hug him he pulled her into a hug and lifted her up.

            “She loves it here,” Kageyama said shifting Aiko awkwardly small pink and purple glitter backpack on his shoulder. “I think the name of the bakery might be the first thing she’ll be able to read.”

            “That’s such an honor,” said a bright voice behind him. Kageyama could feel his muscles tense up immediately. He slowly turned his head to look behind him and saw Hinata sitting at one of the small tables. He was sitting at the table in the far left corner of the store, adjacent to the windows with papers spread out on the table and an iPad propped up. He was smiling warmly at Kageyama, and he could feel his face flush.

            “It’s-it’s um, she really um,” Kageyama stumbled nonsensically. “We come here a lot,” he finished lamely.

            “I know,” Hinata smiled. Kageyama let out an involuntary noise they sounded like a cross between a sigh and laugh. Blinking in embarrassment, Kageyama turned his head to face the counter, self-consciously tightening his hold on Aiko backpack.

            “Daddy!” Aiko cried pulling Kageyama’s attention from Lev’s grasp. “Lev says they made cran-cray-cran-”

            “Cranberry,” Lev finished for her.

            “Cranberry muffins, which are not cupcakes,” she said seriously. “Can I have a muffin?”

            “Uh, yeah. Tha-that’s fine,” Kageyama said feeling a prickling sensation on the back of his neck. He coughed uncomfortably as he watched Lev set her down and walk around to retrieve a muffin from the tray and handing it to Aiko’s outstretched hands. Kageyama walked over to pay for the muffin.

            “You sure you don’t want anything?” Lev asked as he handed back Kageyama his change.

            “No I’m ok,” he said giving him a quick half smile. He turned to look to address Aiko but saw she no longer standing next to him. Turning his head back and forth to look below him he finally heard her giggle behind him. He turned around to see her sitting at Hinata’s table giggling at something Hinata was whispering, as she happily chewed on her muffin. Kageyama took a deep breath before walking over and standing behind her seat.

            “Hey Aiko, you shouldn’t bother Hinata while he works,” he scolded lightly brushing her bangs back. She tilted her head back to look up at him hovering above her.

            “She’s not bothering me,” Hinata said. “In fact, she was providing a rather needed distraction from this super boring adult paper work,” he said directing his last comment to Aiko who still had her head tilted back but was giggling at Hinata. Kageyama raised his eyebrow at her and she gave him a big toothy grin, and he gave her a reluctant smile back. She moved her head forward to look at Hinata.  

            “Here, sit for a minute,” Hinata said pushing out the chair opposite him with his foot. “Relax, be distracted from the super boring adult paper work too.”

            “Yeah daddy, be distracted,” Aiko giggled into her muffin, kneeling on her chair.

            “Oh I’m distracted alright,” Kageyama said under his breath as he sat down in the chair across from Hinata, placing Aiko’s backpack on the floor by his foot. Neither of them seemed to notice his comment.

            “So Aiko was telling me you draw, what was it,” he looked like he was remembering something difficult, “‘skin pictures’?” Hinata said raising his eyebrows. Kageyama almost choked on his own spit.

            “Um, that’s what she calls it- it’s not what it sounds like- I’m a tattoo artist,” Kageyama said in a rush to explain himself. He could hear Aiko giggling next to him.

            “I know,” Hinata said laughing at Kageyama’s reaction. “I’ve seen you going into the **Sovereign Tattoo** shop a lot, I assumed you worked there. Also,” he gestured to Kageyama’s hands that were covered in tattoos, “this was kind of a give away.”

            “Yeah, um, I like tattoos,” Kageyama said, inwardly wincing as soon as the words came out of his mouth. But Hinata laughed warmly.

            “I can see that,” he smiled.

             “Daddy has a lot of tattoos,” Aiko said matter-of-factly. “His arms are covered in skin pictures. And he has skin pictures on his neck and chest and his back and-”

            “Ok thank you Aiko,” Kageyama said cutting her off with a pointed look. He looked over at Hinata who was just staring at them assumed. “I have... a lot of tattoos,” he said nervously.

            “I can tell,” he smiled pointing to the crow tattoo on Kageyama’s neck. His hand went automatically to the tattoo, his fingers brushing it as he maintained eye contact with Hinata. He could feel his cheeks blushing for the second time that day.

            “Ok daddy I’m done,” Aiko said putting the muffin wrapper down on the table. Kageyama turned to look at her, exhaling as he turned his gaze from Hinata.

            “Alright Belly, go throw that away and then we’re going to go,” he said wiping some crumbs off her face. She nodded and got off the chair and walked the wrapper over to the trashcan.

            “She’s such a good kid,” Hinata commented, watching Aiko walk over to talk to Lev.

            “Yeah she is,” Kageyama said almost in a daze and he watched her interact with Lev, who was intently listening to everything she said.

            “Most kids come in and scream until they get a cookie and don’t even bother to realize there are people around them. But Aiko,” Hinata smiled as Lev picked her up to get a closer look at the chalkboard menu above the back counter, “she learned everyone’s name before she learned what we sell.”

            “She’s...” Kageyama started, lost for words. “She’s amazing.” Kageyama smiled at Aiko giggling with Lev. He turned his head to look at Hinata whose eyes quickly shifted to the papers in front of him.

            “Ok, Aiko,” Kageyama said tearing his gaze from Hinata’s face, “time to go.”

            “Ok daddy,” she sighed as Lev put her down. “Bye! See you tomorrow!” she waved at him as she grabbed her dad’s hand. “Bye!” she said waving at Hinata who looked up and smiled at her waving back. They started to walk out the door before Kageyama remembered something. He walked back in, Aiko still holding is hand and giving him a weird look as he walked over to Hinata’s table. Hinata looked up when he saw that Kageyama had returned.

            “I forgot her backpack,” Kageyama said by way of explanation, bending down and grabbing the pink and purple glittery backpack before throwing it over his shoulders. “She would kill me if I lost this.”

            “Not to mention it goes so well with your outfit,” Hinata said sarcastically. Feeling his face blush for the third time that day, Kageyama left with out so much as his own witty retort.

* * *

 

            “I LIKE TATTOOS!?” Tanaka bellowed as he keeled over laughing. “WHA-WHA-WHAT THE FUCK MADE YOU SAY THAT?” he cried as he continued to laugh. Kageyama just stood there with his arms crossed glaring a hole into the wall.

            “Are you done?” he said calmly in his desk chair. Tanaka just continued laughing.

            “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that, whew-” Tanaka said wiping the tears that formed in his eyes, “that is just so funny to me.”

             “Literally first thing in the morning and you’re laughing at me,” Kageyama said annoyed. “You asked me why I didn’t want to go to the bakery for breakfast, and I told you and now you’re fucking laughing.”

            “Because it’s so funny, I think I’m dying,” Tanaka said leaning back on the wall in Kageyama’s workroom. Kageyama just frowned harder.

            “Yo keep it down!” Iwaizumi yelled from down the hall. Tanaka tried to muffle his laughter with little success.

            “Ok, ok, I’m ok,” Tanaka breathed, laying his hand on his chest. “Honestly now I have to go over there and watch you interact with him. This is just too great.”

            “Yeah, fuck you. You can go get breakfast on your own,” Kageyama said swiveling his chair to face his desk.

            “I will, and I’ll say hi to your man for you,” Tanaka said walking out of the room. Flustered by Tanaka’s statement, he tried to wheel himself over to the doorway to shout back at Tanaka.

            “He-he’s not my man!” he shouted earning him a snicker from a fleeting Tanaka and a weird look from a customer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there anything better than flustered Kageyama?.....ok maybe like super dominate powerful kageyama, but thats for another day

            “I just want to thank you again man, seriously it look incredible.” Kageyama just nodded awkwardly still shaking the man’s hand. The shorter man’s shirt was unbuttoned slightly showing the raw skin of his fresh cogs and gears tattoo Kageyama just spent 4 hours completing. Kageyama managed to free his hand from his grasp, rolling his wrist that was still stiff from holding the tattoo gun.

            “Uh, you’re welcome,” Kageyama said cracking his knuckles. The man placed his tip on the tattooing table as he walked out, still admiring his new tattoo. Kageyama picked up the money and put it in his wallet, cleaning up his workstation. He glanced at his phone.

            _It’s only 3:45 and I don’t have any other appointments. Maybe I can go over to the bakery before I get Aiko so I can pick her up a snack and then we don’t have to spend any extra time in there...no Aiko would kill me if I didn’t let her go in so she could socialize._

            Kageyama pondered as he wiped down the tattooing table, the thought of wanting to be social sent a shiver down his spine. He swept the floor still contemplating what he was going to do as he heard Tanaka’s voice coming in from the hallway.

            “Yo Kageyama that ink was so amazing!” Tanaka said entering his workroom. “You photographed it right? Cause when Kuroo comes back I’m making him upload that to the website.” Kageyama pulled out his phone and showed him the picture he had taken minutes before. “Serious man this looks so dope, this one should go in your portfolio too.”

            “Yeah I plan to put it there,” Kageyama said as he put away the broom. He looked up at Tanaka who was putting on his jacket. “Going somewhere?” he asked raising his eyebrow.

            “I’m coming with you to pick up Aiko,” Tanaka said like it was obvious. Kageyama furrowed his brow frowning.

            “And why would you do that?” he asked suspicious.

            “Because I want to go to that lovely bakery,” he smirked, popping up his collar on his leather jacket. Kageyama frowned even further.

            “No,” he said grabbing his jacket. He walked out of the room hearing the sounds of Tanaka protesting behind him.

            “What? No please- I’m coming anyway,” Tanaka said following him down the hallway. They passed Iwaizumi’s room where he was working on a tattoo on a woman’s back. Kageyama stuck his head in the room and knocked softly on the door to get his attention.

            “I’ll be right back,” Kageyama said quietly as to not to alert the woman. Iwaizumi just nodded.

            “Yeah same Iwaizumi,” Tanaka said. Iwaizumi gave him a small frown but waved a gloved hand at him off anyway. Tanaka followed behind Kageyama out the door. “Hey wait up, I’m coming.”

            “There’s literally no reason for you to come,” Kageyama said adjusting his jacket, frowning at the other man.

            “Relax, she’s going to love that her uncle Tanaka came to pick her up,” Tanaka said assuredly, falling into the step with Kageyama who only rolled his eyes at him. They walked to the daycare center, Kageyama frowning the whole time. When they walked in, Suga smiled at Kageyama but he gave Tanaka a questioning look.

            “This is my friend Tanaka,” Kageyama said gruffly. Tanaka gave Suga a smile and a nod, and Suga smiled back. “Where’s Aiko?”

            “Oh she’s in the back office, she had a little accident and hurt herself- nothing major I promise,” Suga said when he saw the blood drain from Kageyama’s face, “just a few small scratches on her elbows and knees, but’s alright. If it was major we’d call you.” Suga walked toward the back office to go get Aiko. Kageyama stood by the front desk trying to get his heart rate to go down. As soon as he had heard the words, “hurt herself” his heart starting beating really fast and all his muscles went tense.

            “You alright?” Tanaka asked quietly, putting his hand on Kageyama shoulder. Kageyama looked at him and nodded taking a deep breath.

            “I can never get used to hearing that she got hurt,” he admitted quietly. “But I don’t think I ever want to.”

            “Little kids get hurt all the time,” Tanaka reassured lightly. “It’s just what they do.” Kageyama just nodded again watching Aiko come running towards him, her short sleeved lavender dress showing the bright yellow Band-Aids on both knees.

            “Daddy!” she said running over to Kageyama. She looked next to him, her eyes going wide when she saw Tanaka standing there too. “Ta-na-ka!” she shouted excitedly running into his outstretched arms, tossing her backpack at her dad.

            “Come here,” he said picking her up. He gave Kageyama a quick smug look, as Kageyama rolled his eyes, placing her backpack over his shoulder. “I heard you got hurt today? Are you ok now ‘Ko?” Tanaka asked setting her on his hip.

            “Mhm,” she hummed pointing to her elbows. “I was running- I mean walking,” she corrected glancing at Kageyama for his reaction who was signing her out at the front desk next to them, “and I fell and I scraped my knee and my other knee and this elbow and this elbow.” She pointed to each of her four Band-Aids.

            “Well are you ok now?” Kageyama said turning back around to face them.

            “Of course she is,” Tanaka cried, as they started to walk towards the front door. “My little ‘Ko is tough as nails! Tougher! Like a diamond!” he said shaking her playfully as the three of them walked out.

            “Tanaka are you getting snacks with us today?” Aiko asked excitedly as they walked down the block.

            “You bet I am,” Tanaka said. Kageyama frowned again, shaking his head. Aiko just wiggled happily in Tanaka’s grasp as they walked toward the bakery.

            “Yay! You’re going to meet Lev, he works there and he hands me food and he’s super tall and super nice and sometimes he lets me draw on the boxes,” she rattled on very excited. Tanaka just looked at her, enwrapped in what she was saying as they walked into the bakery. “Lev!” Aiko shouted as Tanaka carried her in. She stilled as she looked around the bakery not seeing her lanky friend. Her eyes landed on Hinata behind the counter, adjusting the trays in the counter display.

            “Sorry, Aiko he’s not here today,” Hinata said as he closed the sliding door to the display. “But I promise I can be just as helpful,” he said smiling at her and Tanaka carried her over.

            “Tanaka was supposed to meet him,” Aiko pouted slightly. Kageyama push her hair back from her eyes.

            “It’s ok Belly, he can meet him another day,” Kageyama said softly to her. She nodded reluctantly, and went to get down from Tanaka’s hold. She walked over to press her face against the glass of the counter to stare at all the baked goods. Tanaka and Kageyama stood behind her watching her moodily look from treat to treat.

            “So Aiko, see anything you like?” Hinata asked sweetly after a few moments. Aiko huffed against the glass, her breath forming a fog.

            “I like...muffins,” she said thinking. “But I don’t know which one I want.”

            “I like the zucchini muffins,” he said leaning his body over the counter looking at the display glass upside down. “Those over there,” he said pointing to a row of muffins, “They are surprisingly sweet for being a vegetable.”

            “Vegetables? That mean’s its healthy right? Daddy!” Aiko said turning around to look up at Kageyama, “I’m going to eat a healthy vegetable muffin!”

            “Um, ok,” he said not sure what that exactly meant. He watched as Hinata slid his body off the counter and went to retrieve her muffin. Walking over to pay Kageyama watched as Hinata handed Aiko the muffin over the counter smiling at her as she thanked him. “Here you go,” Kageyama said handing over the money to Hinata, trying not to see the slip of his stomach that showed from where he shirt rode up.

            “Nothing for you Kageyama?” Hinata asked sweetly as he handed back his change. Kageyama stuttered awkwardly.

            “Um...no I’m ok,” Kageyama murmured self-consciously. Hinata smirked at him as Kageyama but his wallet away. Shrugging Hinata walked over to the double doors to help Daichi bring in two large trays of cookies. Kageyama watched as Hinata expertly handled the trays fitting them into the proper shelves. Lost in thought he felt a sudden pain when Tanaka nudged his side hard with his elbow. Groaning in pain he looked at Tanaka who was motioning to him go over to Hinata.

            “What?” Kageyama whispered through gritted teeth. Tanaka rolled his eyes and placed his hand on the top of Kageyama’s head and forcibly turned it to look at Hinata.

            “Go talk to him,” Tanaka whispered as he held Kageyama’s head in place. “I’m going to go sit with Aiko, you go flirt.” Kageyama scowled deeply at Tanaka’s instructions. Tanaka released his head with shove and taking Aiko’s backpack from him, but Kageyama didn’t move until Tanaka shoved him forward. Stumbling against the over his feet, the noise of Kageyama’s banging into counter was enough for Hinata to turn his head quickly.

            Righting himself, Kageyama stood up holding in pain the part of his stomach that it the counter, he looked up at Hinata. Staring at him with an expectant smirk.

            “Can I help you Kageyama?” Hinata asked turning around completely to face Kageyama. Clueless of what to say, Kageyama just stood there racking his brain for words that suddenly escaped him. “Do you want to order something?” Hinata smirked as if he was holding back laughter. Out of ideas, Kageyama simply nodded.

            “Uh... coff-coffee please,” he said gruffly, trying to hide his nervousness. “Light and sweet.” Hinata smiled nodding and walked over to the coffee machine at the other end of the counter. Kageyama let out a small breath, trying to relax.

            _Why do I always get so nervous around him? It’s not like he’s doing anything intimidating?_ _I need to just relax. He probably thinks I’m so weird._

            “Here you go.” Hinata’s sunny voice was suddenly right in front of him. Surprised Kageyama looked up at him and thankfully took the cup from him with a quick smile he hoped seemed appreciative. Kageyama handed over the exact change, and quickly pivoted, walking over to the table where Tanaka and Aiko were sitting at.

            “So...” Tanaka prompted lowly. Kageyama shot him a glare as he sat down, purposefully facing his back to the counter.

            “Fuck you,” Kageyama mouth at Tanaka who only laughed in response. He took a small sip of the hot coffee and was pleasantly surprised when it was exactly the way he liked it. _Wow, usually no one ever understands when I say ‘light and sweet’._

            “Ok I have to go back. Iwaizumi is going to kill me if I spend the whole afternoon hanging out with the family,” Tanaka said patting Kageyama on the back.

            “Here we’ll come with you, I have to go back anyway,” Kageyama said getting up. He didn’t want to stay and possible have to talk to Hinata again. “Come on Aiko, let’s go.” Aiko got off her chair and ran over to the garbage to throw away her wrapper.

            “Bye Hinata! See you on Monday!” she waved at him as they walked out the door. Hinata smiled and waved back her as the door shut behind them. She fell into step with her dad who held her hand as they made their way back to the tattoo shop. Kageyama listened vaguely as she talked about her day; he tried to focus on what she said but he couldn’t get the image of wild ginger hair and knowing smirks out of his head. “Daddy!” Aiko called getting his attention. He shook his head, and realized she called him because he was about to walk into the closed door of the tattoo shop instead of the open one Tanaka held open.

            “Uh sorry, thanks,” he said going through the open door. Tanaka gave him a weird look that he shrugged off as he took a large gulp of the coffee.

            “Iwa! Iwa!” Aiko chanted running towards the spikey haired man who was sitting behind the front counter typing away at the computer.

            “Hey! My favorite little artist, come here,” he said spinning in his chair and picking her up and placing her on his lap. “Have you come here to work for me?” he joked with her as she sat on his knee.

            “No,” she shook her head giggling.

            “Are you... here to get a tattoo?” he joked, earning another giggle from her.

            “No!” she laughed. Iwaizumi pretended to look upset.

            “Ok, maybe next time,” he said. As she giggled, he looked up at her dad who was leaning against the counter, drinking his coffee with a pout. “What’s up with you?”

            “Nothing, it’s- it’s nothing,” he said setting his cup down. “Um, my big 6 hour appointment for Monday cancelled so I think I’m going to take that day off.”

            “Good idea,” Iwaizumi said adjusting Aiko on his lap. “Here, I’ll schedule it right now so you can’t back out,” he said swiveling his chair to go to the schedule on the computer.

            “Hey Aiko can you stay here for a moment, I just need to get something from my workroom,” Kageyama said placing her backpack on the floor and tossing his empty cup in the trash. He walked toward his workroom, followed by Tanaka.

            “Hey so nothing further with baker-boy over there?” Tanaka asked, closing the door behind him. Kageyama sighed into his desk chair. Running a hand through his hair he, glanced over at Tanaka who was looking expectantly over at him.

            “Look, just...stop with the whole trying to... just stop ok?” Kageyama said as he pulled out his large drawing pad from desk drawer and placed it on his desk, and pulled out a bag to put it in he started packing it away. “It’s not going to happen, for so many reasons.”

            “Why? Like what?” Tanaka questioned frowning.

            “Well for one I have no idea if he even likes guys, or me for that matter. Or if he’s even single, if he’s even interested in having a relationship,” Kageyama listed packing his drawing pad away. “Not to mention I seldom have time for dating between a full time job and a 4 year old and- and I don’t even have to explain myself to you. What if I don’t want a relationship, hmm?” Kageyama said standing up with his bag packed, not wanting to make eye contact with Tanaka.

            “Fine make excuses, but don’t make Aiko one of them,” Tanaka said seriously. Kageyama looked over at Tanaka who was staring at him. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

            “I just,” Kageyama took a deep breath. “After Aiko’s mom, I haven’t exactly... _dated_ anyone else,” he said sheepishly.

            “...You haven’t had sex with anyone in four years?” Tanaka asked shocked.

            “Um, no. Not what I said,” Kageyama said a bit flustered. “I mean I’m human, obviously I’ve- that’s beside the point. I just don’t really want to date anyone at the moment; Hinata or anyone. I’m focusing on Aiko because she’s the one who needs me the most.”

            “If you think that’s best,” Tanaka said in resignation, putting his hands up. “But I don’t think over looking yourself would be the healthiest way to focus on Aiko. What she _needs_ you to do is be happy.” Kageyama frowned slightly. He had been getting a lot of well intentioned advice recently about he needs and should do, but he thought perhaps it is time for a nice long weekend.

            “Ok, I’ll...keep in mind what you said,” Kageyama said flatly, trying for more of an amiable response but falling short. He walked past Tanaka into the hallway and over to the front counter picking up Aiko’s backpack off the floor. “Come on Aiko, time to go.”

            “Coming! Bye Iwa,” she said hoping off his lap and running around the counter grabbing onto Kageyama’s out stretched hand. They walked out together, over to his car.

            “How are your scrapes? Do they still hurt?” Kageyama said unlocking the car and placing his large bag in the back. He turned and lifted Aiko into her car seat.

            “No, not anymore,” she said looking at one of her elbows. “Emi told me that they were going to be infested and the doctor was going to have to cut my arms and legs off. But I told her the word was _infected_ and then I told Suga what she said to me,” she said smugly. “She got in trouble.”

            “Uh huh,” Kageyama said buckling her in. “This Emi girl seems to be becoming a problem with you. Do you need me to talk with Suga about it?” he asked as he adjusted the seat belts.

            “No, I’m ok. Katsu says she’s mean to me because she likes me,” Aiko said, “I think she’s mean because she’s a butt.”

            “Those are two very possible explanations,” Kageyama said getting into the drivers seat. “But if she becomes a real problem let me know,” he told her looking at her in the rearview mirror. She nodded happily at him.

            “Ok daddy,” she said contentedly, looking out the window. Kageyama started the car and pulled out of his spot. As he drove them home he kept glancing at Aiko in the mirror. 

            “Hey Aiko?” he began contemplatively. She looked over at him through the rearview mirror. “I have Monday off, so I don’t have to go to work. So I was thinking if maybe you’d like if we drove up tomorrow and saw Mommy for the weekend?” Aiko squealed in delight.

            “Yes! Yes! Mommy!” Aiko said wiggling in her seat, kicking her feet back and forth. “I’m going to bring her my whole sketchbook and show her every drawing and I’m going to bring my paints and my pencils and my markers and my crayons...” She listed enthusiastically. Kageyama smiled at his daughter’s excitement.

            “Yeah I thought you might want to do that,” he said smiling to himself as he listened to Aiko ramble about everything she was going to do.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are you ready to meet Aiko's mom? 
> 
> side note, the comments you guys have been making are amazing i love them

            “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Aiko chanted as Kageyama pulled into the parking lot behind a large high-rise building. Kageyama rolled his eyes and smiled at his daughter’s excitement.

            “How come you’re not this excited when you see me?” he said turning off the car, glad they had no car troubles today.

            “Daddy, that’s because I see you everyday,” she said exasperated. Kageyama nodded his head acceptingly as he unbuckled and got out of the car. He came around to unbuckle her. “But _Mommy_ lives far and when we come here it’s like a special vacation,” she explained when he opened the door.

            Ah I understand,” he said giving her a small fake pout. “So living with Daddy is like being sad and working, and coming to see Mommy is like a fun vacation, got it,” he said hiding his smile as he struggled to unbuckle the car seat.

            “NO! That’s not what I said Daddy-” she shouted, catching a glimpse of his smirk. “You’re messing with me, not nice Daddy,” she pouted, moving his hands and unbuckling it her self.

            “I’m sorry, it was just too funny,” he said watching her climb out of the car. He reached in and grabbed their overnight bags and closed the door behind him. He turned as he felt Aiko’s hand go into his. Locking the car, they walked toward the lobby.

            “I hope Mommy is going to like my drawings,” Aiko said quietly as they got into the elevator. Kageyama looked down at her face, contorted in worry, as the elevator ascended to the 23rd floor.

            “Aiko, Mommy loves everything you do,” Kageyama said squeezing her hand slightly. She looked up at him like she didn’t expect to be answered. She gave him a wobbly smile as the doors opened on their floor. They walked out and down the hallway to the last door on the left. Aiko reached up and knocked on the door quickly, adjusting her yellow sundress and sweater she insisted on wearing. Kageyama could hear her take a deep breath just before the door swung open.

            “Mommy!” Aiko shouted when the door opened. She ran straight in her mother’s arms, her dark hair contrasted her mom’s bright blonde hair.

            “Oh Aiko, I’ve missed you so much,” She said holding her tightly. Kageyama watched them for a moment, smiling to himself as he observed this tender moment between them. He often brought Aiko to visit her mom; he felt that just because he was her primary caregiver it didn’t mean that she shouldn’t know her mom. Kageyama drove Aiko up to see her at least once a month.

            “Mommy, I have so much to show you,” Aiko said pulling back from the hug; she grabbed her bag from Kageyama’s grasp and ran into the apartment.

            “Hey Hitoka,” Kageyama said walking in adjusting his bag on his shoulder. She pulled him into a hug.

            “Hey Tobio,” she said hugging him for a moment. “I’m so glad you called, it was perfect timing. We just finished a huge project at work and last weekend I was like _busy_. But I’m glad you guys could come this weekend,” she said pulling back and closing the front door. They both walked over to the living room where Aiko had already spread out all of her drawings to show her mom.

            “Ok mommy, so this is everything since last time,” she said pointing to the 50 or so drawings spread out on every surface that was available. She looked up at her mom grinning, swinging from side to side with her hands behind her back.

            “Wow, you’ve been busy,” Yachi said getting down on the floor next to where Aiko was standing. “I think you do more work than some of the designers at the firm,” she smiled at Aiko who giggled, sitting on the floor next to her mom. “Ok tell me everything,” Yachi said pulling the first drawing in front of her into her hands. She looked at Aiko who gave her a nod and a big toothy grin.

* * *

 

            “Thank you, Hitoka that was really good,” Kageyama said as he helped her clear the table after diner. Aiko had long since been done eating, electing to sit at her mother’s professional drawing table to work on “her designs”. She had spent the better part of the day talking with her mom showing her all her drawings, pouring over each one in detail, her mother completely enwrapped in her attention. They only paused briefly so Yachi could get up to make dinner, but Aiko had followed her into the kitchen asking her question after question on everything, from what was her latest drawing to which color does she likes the most right now.

            “Oh it’s my pleasure,” Yachi said rinsing the dishes. “I don’t often get to cook for so many people, so when I do I tend to go a bit overboard. And plus,” she looked over the breakfast counter that connected into the living room, “I like cooking for her. It makes me feel like I’ve always...its just nice,” she finished, looking down into the sink. Kageyama watched her as she had an introspective smile while she washed the dishes.

            “Here, I got this,” he said gesturing to the sink full of dishes, “you hang out with her.”

            “You sure?” she said looking up at him hopeful. Kageyama nodded giving her a small smile. “Thanks,” she said patting his arm. She wiped her hands off quickly and ran into the living room and pulled up a chair next to Aiko.

            Kageyama glanced over at them sitting together before returning to the dishes. He liked seeing them together. Despite the physical distance between them, Aiko and Yachi have never been emotionally distant. Kageyama always made sure that Aiko got to see her even if Yachi and him had argued; he never used Aiko against her and nor did she to he. Though her worries about not being completely available were not exactly unfounded, she made sure to never let Aiko think she was too busy to see her. Kageyama smiled remembering how excited Aiko gets when she knows she’s coming for a visit, with that hint of nervous hesitation she gets just before every visit like she’s afraid that Yachi had forgotten about her; like she ever could.

            Finishing the dishes, Kageyama turned off the faucet and sat on the sofa. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, just listening to the soft voices in Yachi and Aiko’s conversation. He didn’t realize he had even fallen asleep until he felt a gentle shake on his shoulder. Rolling his neck from sleeping in a weird position, Kageyama blinked his eyes open to see Yachi standing in front of him.

            “You were snoring and I didn’t want you to wake Aiko,” Yachi whispered sitting next to him on the sofa.

            “Yeah, it was probably the odd position my head was in, sorry,” Kageyama said adjusting in his seat to sit up. He rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes trying to push away the sleep from there. “Sorry I fell asleep,” he said blinking his eyes open. “Was Aiko ok? Liking going to sleep?” Kageyama said turning a bit towards Yachi.

            “Yeah she’s fine, she’s in my bed fast asleep,” she said pulling her feet on to the sofa and crisscrossing her legs. “You look tired and stressed, you should get some rest; real rest.”

            “Thanks,” he said sarcastically. Yachi frowned at him.

            “You know what I mean,” she said. Kageyama gave her a small smile.

            “I know what you mean,” he sighed. “People have been telling me that a lot lately. I must look horrible,” he said putting his hands behind his head.

            “I don’t think you look horrible- you never look _horrible_ ; you just look like a 26 year old who’s raising a small child and who needs to relax,” Yachi said earnestly. Kageyama frowned at her.

            “I’m relaxed,” Kageyama gritted out. Yachi raised her eyebrow at him. “I’m... relaxed,” he said again more calmly.

            “You need a break,” Yachi said. “You know you can take those every so often.” Kageyama huffed, rolling his eyes. “Actually I kind of wanted to talk to you about that,” Yachi said. Kageyama looked over at her; she was biting her lip and twiddling her thumbs.

            “About me relaxing?” Kageyama asked her confusedly.

            “Well sort of,” she said sitting up straighter. “There’s a design convention next week, it’s a week long art show basically. And the design firm is sending me to showcase our work. And there’s going to be other designers there and artists, and I want to take Aiko with me,” she asked sincerely. Kageyama looked at her. His heart was in his throat.

            He absolutely trusted Yachi with all of his heart and knew she would take incredible care of Aiko; but he had never been separated from Aiko for more than a period of 24 hours. To not have her for a week, he didn’t even know what that would be like. His life before Aiko felt like eons away.

            “A-a whole week?” he asked still not sure if he heard correctly. Yachi nodded to him.

            “Yeah, I want to show her what I do and stuff. You know, spend some time with her,” she said. “And...” she trailed off. Kageyama looked at her concernedly. She was biting the inside of her cheek like she wasn’t sure how to say what she was about to say next. “There’s this big client...in London.  And they’re sending a few designers over there for a few months to work on a major international campaign... and I’m one of them,” she said kind of excited.

            “That’s so exciting,” Kageyama smiled at her. “But wait... Aiko won’t be able to come visit you for months?”

            “Exactly,” she said sadly. “So I’d like to spend that week with her. Take her on the trip, spend some time with her.”

            “Hitoka, of course you can,” Kageyama said. “You’re her mother.” She laughed humorlessly.

            “I’m her mom, I gave birth to her,” she said melancholy, “But I’m not her parent, her guardian. Not the way you are.”

            “Hitoka, she loves you just as much as any 4 year old loves their mom,” he said earnestly.

            “I’m sure she does,” Yachi said leaning her head on the back of the sofa. “But I’m not the one who’s there to calm her when she scrapes her knee, I’m not there to hold her when she wakes up with a nightmare, I’m not the one to pick her up from school everyday. You’re her parent, I’m just her mom.”

            “Hitoka...” Kageyama began. He felt a weird mix of pride and guilt.

            “No no, it’s fine I put myself into this position,” she said putting her hand on his arm. “And that’s ok, really it’s ok. I just want to spend a little bit of time with her.”

            “Of course, it’s really not a problem. I’m sure she would love to,” he said eyeing her. She suddenly looked relieved, as if she thought he would tell her no.

            “Ok good, I’m glad,” she smiled. “So come on, tell me about you,” she said settling in to the sofa more, “We haven’t talked in a while. Give me the scoop. Anything interesting come up?”

            “Um, no” Kageyama huffed leaning his head back.

            “Really? Nothing? How do you work in a tattoo shop and have a 4 year old and yet you somehow have no interesting stories?” Yachi asked skeptically.

            “I’m boring,” he said tilting his head to look at her. She gave him a skeptical look and he relented slightly. “Ok well, remember that one time when you came to visit and we went to that bakery by the tattoo shop?” she nodding remembering, “so... the owner is this...somewhat attractive redhead. Tanaka keeps trying to get me to go out with him.”

            “Ooh, so you like this guy right?” Yachi said excitedly. Kageyama frowned further. “So you do obviously, you should go out with him. That will be a great way to relax, you know.” Kageyama rolled his eyes, leaning his head back. “Fine fine, we won’t talk about the sexy baker you don’t want to date.”

“But how about you? How’s everything going?” Kageyama said turning his head toward Yachi.

            “Pretty good, actually- really good,” Yachi said happily. “I actually am being sent to London as head Creative Director. I basically get to run the international campaign myself. I’m really excited,” she said. “Tadashi is actually coming too...”

            “Oh really?” he said knowingly.

            “Yes, shush you. He’s going as the lead designer. So he’ll be working under me,” she explained.

            “Yeah I’ll bet he will,” Kageyama joked. Yachi smacked his arm lightly.

            “Oh my god, you’re so gross. You didn’t used to be this gross; this is the influence of that Tanaka guy. The one with the shaved head and the neck tattoo; he’s a bad influence,” she chastised lightly.

            “I have a neck a tattoo,” Kageyama said as if that was enough to dismiss what Yachi was trying to reason.

            “Yeah but you weren’t this gross before. I remember a young Tobio, with just a handful of tattoos, focused on three things: his tattooing apprenticeship, curry and his lovely girlfriend,” she listed smiling at him.

            “I was so focused on those things, because if I let my mind wander for a second I would be thinking about how appealing I found the thought of a dick,” he said sarcastically. Yachi laughed in surprise.

            “See, pre-Tanaka Kageyama would have never made that joke,” she laughed.

            “Oh no, I would have made it. Just not to you,” he chuckled. “And what about you? Pre-Tadashi Yachi would have never thought twice about propositioning someone they maybe shouldn’t. _Now_ you know there are rules about who should and shouldn’t sleep with whom. But I recall a rather nervous, but persistent girl in the art history class I was TAing, trying to get my number all semester,” he accused, smirking at her.

            “Um excuse me, we did not have sex for literally a year and half, so spare me the ‘this chick is trying to sleep with me’ speech,” Yachi laughed.

            “Fine fine,” he smiled. “But you were so adamant about trying to go out with me.”

            “Ok, but to be fair, so was like every other girl in that class,” Yachi said smiling. “You were like this tall, dark, kind of moody looking, hot guy with tattoos and piercings. I mean, you were everything a girl’s parents warned her about. So you were perfect.”

            “Yeah ok,” Kageyama huffed cynically. “By perfect you mean, painfully in the closet and pathetically awkward.”

            “No seriously, I thought you were just _so cool_ ,” Yachi said laughing nudging him playfully. “Only it was too late when I found out you were actually just a big dork.”

            “Oh yeah, but by then I had already knocked you up,” Kageyama smiled.

            “Nah, I knew before that,” she said laying her head down on his shoulder. “But it’s ok, I wouldn’t change anything.”

            “Nothing?” Kageyama asked resting his head on top of hers.

            “Well, could you imagine a world without Aiko?” she asked softly.

            “Not at all,” Kageyama whispered.

            “Me neither.”

* * *

 

            “Do you have everything packed?” Kageyama said that Monday morning as Aiko dragged her suspiciously large bag toward the front door.

            “Yup, I have everything,” she said shoving it next to the door. “I packed my clothes and my sketchbook and my paints and markers and those new paints mommy got me. Everything.”

            “Sounds like everything to me,” Yachi said walking over to where Kageyama and Aiko were standing by the door. Kageyama nodded to her before she knelt down to be at eye level with Aiko. “Hey Sweetheart, so I’m going to a design convention with a bunch of artists and designers and I was wondering... if you would like to come with me?”

            “...Just...just you and me,” Aiko asked quietly like she couldn’t believe. Yachi cast a quick glance to Kageyama who gave her a small smile.

            “Yup, Sweetie, just you and me. For a whole week,” Yachi said pushing a piece of Aiko’s hair behind her ear. She suddenly had an arm full of small child.

            “Mommy, I want to! Yes please Mommy,” Aiko squealed muffled by Yachi’s shoulder. She held her tightly.

            “Oh ok good, I’m glad,” Yachi said happily, squeezing her back tightly. After a few moments she pulled back. “Be good, you. I’ll see you Saturday.” Aiko beamed up at her.

            “I’ll see you, bye Mommy!” Aiko said giving her one last hug before taking her dad’s hand. Yachi stood up and gave Kageyama hug. She smiled at him as he bent and picked up Aiko’s bag and walked out and down the hallway and into the elevator.

            “A whole week with Mommy,” Aiko said softly, excitement in her high small voice as they got into the elevator.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now, i love flustered Kageyama but you know what else i love? flustered Hinata.
> 
> also i know it's a bit early in the story but in the next few chapters or so there is going to be some smut and there's going to be a bit of it at different points in the story in the future. i've already changed the rating of the story to mature as a precaution, so you know, there will be smut guys. i mean they are like adult adults in this story so...yeah. future smut
> 
> other sidenote, your comments have been amazing as usual

            “Hey Kageyama, how was that day off? Did you get to relax?” Iwaizumi asked from his tattooing room, as Kageyama came in to the shop that Tuesday morning.

            “Um... yeah, actually. I took Aiko to see her mom for the weekend, so I guess I got to relax,” Kageyama said rubbing the back of his neck, stepping into Iwaizumi’s workroom.

            “Oh how is Yachi? I haven’t seen her in a while,” he said looking down at his drawing.

            “She’s fine. She’s going to take Aiko to some design convention thing next week so I won’t have her for a week,” Kageyama said. “Which will be...weird I guess.”

            “A whole week huh?” Iwaizumi said looking up from his drawing. “Are you...I mean... how do you...” he stumbled not knowing how or what exactly he wanted to say. “Has she ever been out of your care for that long?”

            “No, not really. I mean she’s stayed at her mom’s for like a day without me, but I’m usually there the next day to go get her,” he said shuffling uncomfortably. “I’m not worried I’m just...”

            “Worried,” Iwaizumi said knowingly. “Its ok to be worried, you’re her parent.”

            “Yeah,” he sighed, turning and walking down the hall to his workroom. He just set his stuff down on his drawing table when he heard a familiar hard knock on his door.

            “Yo, Kages,” Tanaka said coming and throwing himself on the tattooing chair in the corner. “How you been man? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

            “It’s only been three days,” he said pulling out his large drawing pad and placing it on his desk inform of him.

            “I know, but you know I have a routine; come in, mess with you, do some sick ass ink, mess with you some more,” Tanaka listed putting his feet up on the tattooing table.

            “Oh wow, I’m flattered that my absence disrupted your ‘routine’ so much,” Kageyama said sarcastically as he pulled out his drawing supplies. Tanaka snorted.

           “But dude, I had this like, 7 hour ink yesterday. And it was this super dope piece, honestly you have to see it, I took crazy pictures, it’s going on the website. It’s this like this huge open mouth and it’s pouring out blood onto a white rose; I even did all the color work yesterday, so fucking sick. But that’s beside the point, so afterward I went to treat myself to something delicious and I went to your boy’s bakery, you know SunFlour?” Kageyama turned his chair to him specifically to give him a nasty glare. “Right, so I go in and there, and he’s behind the counter with that huge lanky kid. And he recognizes me, and he’s like ‘oh you’re Kageyama’s friend right?’ and he kind does this thing where he’s looking behind me to see if you’re like there,” Kageyama only glares harder to hide the twitch of a nervous smile that threatened to show on his face. “And so I’m like ‘yeah I am, but he’s not at work today’ and then he looked, like upset. Like you know, disappointed. Like a ‘oh damn, my favorite part of the day is when that grumpy but heartwarming inked-up hot dad comes in and now he’s not even here’ kind of disappointed.”

            “Or maybe it was more of a ‘oh damn that sucker who comes in everyday and buys an expensive muffin for the daughter he can’t say no to isn’t here’ kind of disappointment,” Kageyama said cynically. Tanaka gave him a glare of his own.

            “Look, don’t be such an asshole. I thought I would tell you, you know, just in case you wanted to use that information to gather up any balls you may have to ask that little baker out. But no, do what you want,” Tanaka said putting his hands up in defeat and sitting up properly in the chair. Kageyama just scowled at him. The sound of the front door being opened caught their attention, mostly because they weren’t technically open for another 2 hours yet.

            “Um, hello? Kageyama?” said the bright voice of the person who just came in. Tanaka looked at Kageyama with wide eyes and smug grin. Kageyama just stared blankly in shock at his empty doorway.

            “Yoooooo,” Tanaka whispered excitedly. Kageyama slowly turned his head to look at Tanaka as he heard the voice call his name again. Hearing it again pulled him out of his trance and he scrambled out of his chair and down the hallway, tripping over his own feet. Almost falling in a heap on the floor, Kageyama caught his balance right as he got to the front desk, trying to catch his breath that was racing as if he had just run a four-minute mile. Hinata turned around to the sounds of Kageyama clumsily coming to the front desk, looking at him up and down like he was making sure he was ok.

            “H-hello, um h-how can I help you?” Kageyama said getting behind the front counter, wincing at how awkward he sounded.

            “Hey, I um- I didn’t see you yesterday,” Hinata said placing a large brown box on the counter. Kageyama gaped slightly at him.

            “Yeah, I-I had the day off,” Kageyama said lamely. “So I wasn’t here.”

            “Oh ok... it was just that you um, you said see you... you um, normally come in...you know what never mind, um...never-never mind,” Hinata said trying to cover up his floundering with a bright smile.

            “Er, ok,” Kageyama said still in shock that Hinata was there. “So um, what...brings you here?”

            “Oh right, well since you didn’t come by yesterday, I thought I would, um...bring you... something,” Hinata said like he heard his plan out loud for the first time and he just realized all of it’s flaws.

            “Th-thank you,” Kageyama said gruffly, looking down at the box Hinata had placed on the counter. “Is this it?”

            “Yeah, they’re croissants. Fresh- freshly baked croissants. I made them this morning,” Hinata explained opening the box. The warm air of buttery-flaked bread floated up into Kageyama’s nose.

             “They smell delicious, thank you,” he said looking at Hinata’s face. Hinata looked up from the box, giving him a warm smile. Kageyama attempted a smile back, hoping it displayed the same warmth.

            “Hey Kageyama, who’s this?” Iwaizumi’s voice came in; breaking whatever moment Kageyama hoped they were having. He walked over to the front counter next to Kageyama.

            “Um this is Hinata, he owns the bakery a few blocks down,” Kageyama said to Iwaizumi point at Hinata, who just smile at him.

            “Oh, _this_ is Hinata,” Iwaizumi said like he uncovered something secret. Kageyama looked at him pointedly. “I mean, hello Hinata nice to meet you, I’m Iwaizumi. This is my tattoo shop,” Iwaizumi recovered, sticking out his hand. Hinata shook it, glancing slyly over to a completely red-faced Kageyama.

            “It’s nice to meet you too,” he said brightly. “Croissant?”

            “Yeah, don’t mind if I do,” Iwaizumi said taking one. He looked between them before stepping away. “Carry on.”

            “Sorry about that,” Kageyama said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck trying not to make eye contact with Hinata.

            “It’s fine,” Hinata said smirking up at him. “I guess I should get back there now, I have bread in the oven,” he said making to leave.

            “Oh yeah, of course,” Kageyama said a bit flustered. “Thank you again for the croissants,” he said walking around the counter to see Hinata out.

            “No problem,” Hinata said as he started walking towards the door. “Bring Aiko to the bakery today, I have some muffin recipes I want her to try out first.”

            “Ok sure,” Kageyama said standing by the door next to Hinata. “I’m sure she’d love that.”

            “Good,” Hinata smiled. “So I’ll see you there right?” Kageyama could feel his cheeks growing redder by the second.

            “Mhm,” he hummed not trusting his voice to say anything further. Hinata just nodded happily and opened the door and left. Kageyama watched him walk away for a few moments before turning around and letting out a heavy breath, leaning back on the door for support.

            “Wow,” Tanaka said from in front of him. Kageyama’s head snapped up at him, embarrassed. “You are crushing so hard.”

            “Shut up,” Kageyama said trying to regain his collective calm without any luck.

* * *

 

            By the time Kageyama had picked up Aiko from daycare and was walking toward the bakery, all of his collective calm had left him. Reaching for the door handle to SunFlour, he was a ball of nerves. He kept trying to not think about what it could have possibly meant that Hinata noticed his absence then sought him out, but it was impossible to keep out of his mind. Kageyama considered himself lucky that the appointments he had scheduled for the day were simple enough because his head was filled with bright smiles and ginger hair.

            “Lev!” Aiko shouted, pulling Kageyama’s attention to her. The guy behind the counter waved his gangly arms at her calling her over. She gleefully took her hand out of her dad’s and ran over to the counter. Kageyama adjusted her tiny backpack on his shoulder, trying to force himself not to look around the store for a tuft of orange hair.

            “Hey Aiko, Hinata wanted me to tell him when you got here because he said he has a special recipe he wants you to try- as his taste tester,” Lev said to her excitedly.  Aiko’s eyes lit up eagerly.

            “Oh ok,” she smiled. Kageyama watched as Lev went through the double doors that led to the kitchen. When he came back, Hinata followed closely behind with a small tray of a few muffins.

            “Aiko, just the person I wanted to see!” Hinata said enthusiastically, coming around the counter. He motioned for her to follow him towards the tables. He sat down on a chair and patted the chair next to him so Aiko would sit there. She climbed onto the seat and scooted her chair as close as she could get to him. Kageyama walked over sitting across from them and set down Aiko’s bag on the floor at his feet. Hinata had placed the tray of four muffins and a small butter knife down on the table, and proceed to begin to cut each muffin into fourths.

            “Ok so you have a very important job today,” Hinata said. Aiko listened intently. “So for the summer we want to introduce 2 new flavors of muffin, so we tried four recipes. I want you to taste each one and tell me which two you like best, and those will go one sale next week.”

            “Whoa,” Aiko said impressed. “That’s such an important job,” she said awed. “Ok, I can do this.” Hinata chuckled.

            “I thought you might be up for the task,” he said finishing his cutting. “Ok so this yellow one is Lemon Poppy Seed, the reddish one is Strawberry Chocolate Chip, this brownish one is Brown Sugar Blueberry, and this one that’s kind of like orangey-golden is Cheddar Squash.”

            “Cheese on a muffin?” she asked surprised. Hinata nodded. She looked down at the array of muffins and contemplated which one she was going to eat first. After moving her hand from muffin to muffin, she carefully selected a slice of the Cheddar Squash. She delicately brought the piece to her mouth and chewed on it for a moment before smiling up at Hinata. “This is amazing!”

            “Thank you,” he smiled. He glanced at Kageyama who was watching his daughter choose another piece. Kageyama caught his eye and Hinata quickly looked away.

            “This one is so good too,” Kageyama could hear Aiko saying something to Hinata, but he couldn’t look away from him. He was staring at his smile, the way the skin by his eyes would crinkle up. And he was staring at his collar, his shirt dipping just enough to give a view of his collarbones. And he was staring at his eyes, how they would brighten every time Aiko complimented his baking as if they meant the world to him.

            “Daddy are you listening?” Aiko asked waving her hand to get his attention. He blinked, looking over at her.

            “Sorry Belly, what was that?” he asked trying not to look over at Hinata again.

            “I _said_ you should try them. It’s so good,” Aiko said motioning to the muffins. “Here eat the pink one. It’s strawberry and chocolate, you’ll like it.”

            “O-ok,” he said picking up a one of the cut pieces and putting it in his mouth. He was surprised at how good it actually was. “Wow yeah, this is actually really good.”

            “Yeah it’s almost like I professionally bake or something,” Hinata smiled jokingly. Kageyama just rolled his eyes at him, trying to hide his smile.

            “Ok I so think I know now,” Aiko said seriously. Hinata turned to look at her. “I love them all.”

            “Hmm, interesting. So I guess we will just have to make all of them,” Hinata said looking at the decimated muffin remains. Aiko smiled brightly at him.

            “Yay!” she cheered. She climbed down from her chair and ran over to Lev.

            “I’m glad she could help you make an important business decision,” Kageyama lightly. Hinata grinned at him.

            “Well who else am I to trust besides my most loyal and favorite costumer?” he answered getting up from his seat and taking the tray back with him into the kitchen. Kageyama watched him retreat through the double doors before picking up Aiko’s bag and getting her to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how i said i wouldn't be able to update regularly? that's funny.   
> i'm just so in love with writng this story ok, and i need to get it out. 
> 
> fair warning, in future chapters this thing is going to get kinda angsty and dramatic. I have plans to make this *crosses fingers* heartbreaking, if i can say that? like it's going to hurt. i want the hurt. so you've been warned.
> 
> also i just want to thank the people who have been commenting, you are all amazing and this story would be poop without you.

            Kageyama turned the ignition for the 5th time with out it starting. Grunting in frustration, he slammed his hands on the steering wheel. Taking deep breaths, Kageyama closed his eyes for a moment trying to calm down.

            “Are you ok daddy?” Aiko asked quietly from her car seat behind him. He looked up into the rear view mirror at Aiko’s worried face.

            “Yeah... no not really, but everything is going to be ok,” he sighed trying to reassure her, and possibly himself. “Just sit there for a moment,” he instructed as he reached into the passenger seat glove compartment and pulled out the flashlight he kept there. He stepped out of his car and when to pop the hood. Luckily it was only about 6:30 and still fairly light outside so he didn’t have too much trouble seeing into the car. He bent over the engine and all of the car’s inner mechanisms.

            _I have no idea where to even begin to look_

Sighing, he started shining the flashlight around trying to see anything obviously wrong. Having no luck he pulled out his phone to start googling what could be wrong with his car.

            “Hey are you alright?” a loud voice called to him from the street. Kageyama looked up from his phone and saw Hinata had pulled up along side his car. He felt a combination of a rush a relief and a jolt of nervousness.

            “Um, no not really. I could use some help actually if you wouldn’t mind?” he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

            “Ok give, me one minute,” Hinata said pulling his car over into a parking spot. Kageyama watched him park and walk over. “Ok so what’s the problem?” he asked looking under the hood.

            “Um, well the car’s not starting. I mean it’s making that clicking sound but it’s not starting. And I know...literally nothing about cars,” Kageyama admitted.

            “That’s ok. Um... ok go in and try to turn it on and I’ll see what’s going on from this perspective,” Hinata said taking the flashlight. Kageyama went into the drivers seat and turned the key tried to turn on the car. But after a few tries of nothing, he got out and walked back over to Hinata.

            “Well, I can see the problem,” Hinata said to Kageyama. “Basically your battery is dead and it just needs a jump start.”

            “Oh ok, that seems simple enough,” Kageyama said relieved. “But I don’t have jumper cables.” He looked over at Hinata who didn’t seem as relieved.

            “Crap, I know I left mine in my sister’s car,” Hinata said sighing, running a hand through his hair. “What about any of your coworkers?”

            “No, Tanaka walks to work and Iwaizumi left already,” Kageyama said sighing. “Fuck,” he mumbled, running a hand over his face.

            “You know what, I’ll drive you guys home, and I’ll pick you up in the morning and I’ll bring my jumper cables with me ok?” Hinata suggested.

            “Oh I couldn’t, no it’s-it’s too much,” Kageyama protested. Hinata waved him off.

            “Seriously, it’s not a problem,” he said smiling up at Kageyama. After a few moments Kageyama relented nodding. “Cool. So does Aiko have a car seat?” he asked closing the hood.

            “Yeah, I’ll go get her,” Kageyama said walking over to the back of the car. He opened the door and pulled out her backpack. “Ok come on Belly, the car isn’t working properly so Hinata is going to give us a ride home. So I need you to unbuckle cause I have to take the car seat with us,” he explained as he tried to unbuckle her. She undid the belts with ease and climbed out of the car and on to the pavement, running over to where Hinata was standing behind Kageyama.

            “Daddy said you’re going to drive us home?” she asked him taking hold of his hand. He nodded at her. “Good, I thought we were going to sit in that car forever.”

            “No, I would have called a cab eventually,” Kageyama said pulling out the car seat and closing the door. Hinata took the seat out of his hands and he locked the car and then the three of them walked over to Hinata’s car.

            “I have no idea how this goes into the car,” Hinata said looking at the car seat. Smiling, Kageyama took it from him and adjusted it in the back, belting it in. “That looks so complicated,” Hinata murmured over his shoulder as he secured the seat in, which sent a slight shiver down his back at Hinata’s voice being that close.

            “Done,” Kageyama said getting out of the car. Aiko jumped in, and settled herself in the seat, buckling herself up. Kageyama checked to make sure the belts were tight before tossing her backpack in and getting into the passenger seat. Hinata sat in the drivers seat and turned on the GPS that was on his dashboard.

            “Ok, here,” he said turning the GPS to face Kageyama, “type in your address. I can’t go anywhere with out this thing, I’m horrible with direction.” Kageyama smiled at his confession as he typed in his address. When he was done he turned it back toward Hinata who looked at the direction list. “Oh cool, you actually live on the way to my place. Awesome, this will be easy then,” he said turning on his car and pulling out of the spot.

            “Thank you again for doing this by the way,” Kageyama said after a few minutes. “You really didn’t have to and I can’t thank you enough.” Hinata glanced at him.

            “Seriously, it’s fine. I like helping people out, I would do this for anyone,” he said looking out on the road. Somehow that didn’t make Kageyama feel any better. “I mean, maybe not drive _anyone_ home but you know, help them out.”

            “So I’m getting special treatment?” Kageyama smirked. He saw a slight reddening in Hinata’s cheeks.

            “I guess you could say that,” he responded quickly eyeing Kageyama. “I’d call it ‘preferential treatment’.”

            “Oh really? And why is that?” Kageyama grinned. He could feel a giddy feeling in his stomach rising that he hadn’t felt in a while.

            “Cause you come as a packaged deal with my favorite costumer,” Hinata teased. Kageyama let out a small chuckle.

            “Oh ok, for a second there I thought it was actually because of me,” Kageyama said sarcastically. He watched as Hinata’s smirk grew.

            “No, no. It’s definitely not because of you,” Hinata said. “Although you come as a close second.”

            “Oh yeah?” Kageyama smiled, surprised.

            “Yeah, only cause you’re her bank,” Hinata smirked. Kageyama laughed.

            “I see how it is,” Kageyama teased just as Hinata pulled up in front of his building. Looking out the window, Kageyama found himself wishing he lived just a bit further out. “Well, I can’t thank you enough, seriously,” he said turning and thanking Hinata. He just gave him a small smile in return.

            “It was no problem, really,” Hinata said happily. “How could I let my official tast-tester walk home?” he said glancing at Aiko who giggled in response.

            “Thank you!” she said starting to unbuckle. Kageyama undid his seat belt and went to get out of the car.

            “Oh Kageyama, before I forget, here,” Hinata said pulling out his phone from his pocket. “Give me your number so I can call you tomorrow so I can let you know when I’m here.” He handed Kageyama his phone so he could input his number. Kageyama took it from him with a shaky hand.

            “Uh right, of course,” Kageyama mumbled typing in his number. He finished and handed it back to Hinata who started typing on his phone as Kageyama went to climb out of the car. A few seconds later he felt his phone vibrate.

            “Now you have my number,” Hinata said brightly bending his head so he could see Kageyama standing outside the car. “Text me when you want me to come pick you up and stuff. Ok?” Kageyama nodded his head. He took Aiko’s backpack, and grabbed her hand as he closed the doors behind him. Hinata waved to him as he drove off.

* * *

 

            “-and then Rei was spilling out all the glue on the floor, and Emi stepped in it and she didn’t know and so when she took her shoes off for nap time they got glued to the floor,” Aiko said as Kageyama towel dried her hair. She had been telling him all that had happened throughout the day during her bath and was still talking now that she was out. “And Emi blamed me for her shoes being glued but I don’t know how, I didn’t even go near the glue, but Suga believed me, and- ow daddy you’re hurting me.” Kageyama stopped combing through her hair. He had been trying to gently work through a particularly tough knot.

            “Sorry Belly. Your hair gets tangled after a bath,” he said trying to gently work through the knot. He was sitting on her bed, Aiko in front of him. This was part of their nightly routine. Kageyama would give her a bath, comb through her hair, dry it and then tuck her in. Most nights he stayed there with her until she fell asleep, either reading to her, talking to her, and sometimes singing-but only if she asked. 

            “Hey daddy? Do you think that I’m ever going to have a mommy that lives with us?” Aiko said uncharacteristically solemn. Kageyama stopped his motions, struck by the randomness and the seriousness of the question. Aiko turned her turn head to look up at Kageyama. He didn’t exactly know how to react. On one hand, he wanted to know if that was something that was really bothering Aiko and he wanted to fix that any way he could, but on the other hand he didn’t want to lie to her and tell her that one day she’ll have a mom and a dad living together.

            “Wh-why do you ask Aiko?” Kageyama asked nervously. Aiko turned around to face him, both of them crisscrossing their legs. Kageyama watched her furrow her eyebrows in thought.

            “Well today Katsu’s daddy came to pick him up early today. He told me that him and his mommy, and daddy were going on a trip together,” Aiko said not looking up at Kageyama. “And he told me that they go on trips together all the time.”

            “But we do things together all the time,” Kageyama said brushing her still damp hair out from her face. “And we do stuff with mommy too.”

            “But that’s what I told Katsu but he told me I didn’t have a real mommy because she didn’t live with us,” Aiko said, her voice watery and her eyes close to tears. “So I want a real mommy that lives with us and goes on trips with us.” She started crying, and crawled into Kageyama’s lap. Still in shock and not sure what to do, he pulled his daughter close to him holding her tightly to his chest.

            “Aiko you know that’s not true at all. Mommy is your real mommy enough even though she doesn’t live with you and me,” he said consoling her. He ran his fingers through her hair as he listened to her slowly stop crying. “Just because you don’t live with her doesn’t mean she’s not your mom, or not as much of a mom than other moms. And don’t let anyone make you feel bad because you’re different from them.”

            “But-but will I ever have another mommy? Like one that lives here with us?” Aiko asked wiping her eyes with her little hand. Kageyama sighed, not really sure how to broach that subject.

            “Well another mommy, no probably not,” he said as gently as he could. Aiko nodded seeming to understand. Kageyama felt a small relief that she didn’t question that any further.

            “What about another daddy?” she asked earnestly. Kageyama was slightly taken aback he just gaped at her for a moment. “There’s a boy, Taiki, he has two mommies and he told me that they live together in a big house so maybe I could have two daddies and we could live together in a big house.”

            “Um, maybe yeah,” Kageyama stumbled. Aiko grinned up at him.

            “Ok thank you daddy,” Aiko said giving him one last hug before turning back around and sitting in front of him. Still in a kind of daze from the whiplash of their conversation Kageyama continued to comb through her hair. He half listened to Aiko tell him about all the other hijinks that happened at daycare that day. His mind kept wandering to what life with a “second daddy” would even be like. Two people there to talk to Aiko and take care of her, two people she could count on to be home and to love her, two people that would be her parents. Not to mention take some of the responsibility off of Kageyama’s shoulders.   

            “Daddy can you read to me tonight?” Aiko said as Kageyama finished blow-drying her hair. Nodded as she ran over to her bookshelf to pick out a book as he settled onto her bed.

* * *

 

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama wasn’t tired. He was sitting at his kitchen table with a steaming mug of tea waiting until he heard the telltale sounds of pattering feet. He woke up that morning way before his alarm with weird anticipation feeling in his stomach, one that his hasn’t felt since the night before an exciting trip at school.

            Kageyama looked down at his phone, 6:32am. He was tempted to scroll through the messages he and Hinata had exchanged the night before. The messages weren’t even sexual or even romantic in nature; just Kageyama telling him when to pick him up in the morning and a few emojis and exclamations from Hinata. It was just the sheer fact that they were texting, that he had his number, and he could text him whenever he felt like it. Feeling embarrassed, Kageyama flipped his phone over so he wouldn’t look at the screen any longer.  

            As he took a long sip from his tea he could hear the soft pattering of Aiko’s tiny feet coming toward the kitchen. He turned to the doorway and saw Aiko standing there rubbing her eyes free of sleep, her hair in a disarray. Without saying anything he leaned back in his chair and Aiko walked over to him, climbing up into his lap and resting her head on his chest. He put his left arm around her holding her as he took another sip from his tea.

            “Daddy...” Aiko murmured sleepily, “I’m hungry.” Kageyama twisted his head so he could look down at her. He brushed her bangs from out of her tired face.

            “You’re always hungry Belly,” he said finishing his tea. He turned her so he could lift her up and he walked her back into her bedroom. Setting her down on her bed she tiredly tried to remain sitting. “Ok what do you want to wear today?” he asked bending down to look through her drawers. “You could wear the pink overalls with the pink shirt-oh wait nope, that’s dirty,” he tossed aside the shirt frowning, “how about the blue pants and the purple shirt?” he asked looking back at Aiko, who was laying down with her feet dangling off the side, completely asleep.

            Sighing, he laid out her clothes for her on her bedframe before adjusting her so she wouldn’t be dangling off the bed. He switched off her lamp and walked back to the kitchen. Kageyama was washing his mug when he heard his phone ringing. Rushing to answer it before it woke Aiko, he clicked it without seeing the caller ID.

            “Hello?”

            “Hey Kageyama!” came Hinata’s bright and very awake voice on the other end.  “I know I probably should have texted or even asked you first, but I’m coming over now-no rush to leave, I just have some breakfast. And well, I was awake anyway.”

            “Um ok, yeah sure,” Kageyama said not sure what he was agreeing to. “Are you coming over right now?” he said looking down at his ratty t-shirt and boxers.

            “Actually, I’m already here. Which apartment number is yours?” Hinata asked. Kageyama could here the ding of the arriving elevator on the phone.

            “4B” Kageyama said dazed. He could hear Hinata saying goodbye and the phone call ending but he felt like he was floating. Not sure exactly what to do, he made a beeline for his bedroom. He scoured the floor and his drawers for something he could put on really quickly. Grabbing a less ragged t-shirt he quickly pulled it on throwing his other one on the bed behind him as he heard a knock at his door. He barely had it on completely when he opened it.

            “Hey good morning,” Hinata said brightly. He was carrying a container and what looked like a thermos of coffee. “Can I come in?” he asked gesturing with his head to the apartment.

            “Oh yeah, of course,” Kageyama said stepping aside so he could come in and closing the door behind him. Kageyama watched him walk into his living room, looking around at the apartment. He felt like he was dreaming.

            _He’s in my apartment._

“Can I set this down somewhere?” Hinata asked motioning to the container and thermos in his arms.

            “Yes, sorry,” Kageyama said motioning for him to follow him into the kitchen. Hinata placed the container on the kitchen table and set down the thermos. Kageyama just stared at him, not knowing how to act around him in this new situation.

            “Do you have mugs? And plates?” Hinata asked looking up at Kageyama.

            “Um, yeah. Here hold on,” Kageyama said going towards the cabinets. He reached up for plates and mugs and brought them over to the table. Hinata had already opened up the container that was filled with several rectangular shaped things. “Um, here you go,” Kageyama said setting the plates and mugs on the table and taking a seat across from Hinata.

            “They’re kind of like turnovers,” Hinata said, setting one on a plate and pushing it towards Kageyama. He looked up at Kageyama; “It’s a flaky pastry with a fruity filling inside.”

            “I know what a turnover is,” Kageyama said hoping he didn’t sound rude. Hinata continued anyway.

            “They’re usually filled with apple, but these,” he said excitedly as he put one on his plate, “This have guava in them.” He looked up at saw Kageyama hesitation. “It’s a South American tropical fruit, and it’s super sweet.”

            “Oh, I’ve... never had it before,” Kageyama said looking down at the turnover. He glanced up at Hinata who was already taking a bite of his. He watched as Hinata’s eyes closed and he sighed in contentment. Kageyama couldn’t help but smiled at Hinata’s enjoyment of the pastry.

            “Literally fucking delicious,” Hinata mumbled chewing. Kageyama laughed at his reaction.

            “It’s just a pastry,” Kageyama said picking his up to bite. He took a bite and was completely surprised when his instinct was to reaction identically to Hinata.

            “Yeah just a pastry huh?” Hinata smirked as Kageyama chewed happily. Kageyama rolled his eyes at him refused to answer, opting to take another bite. “Hey where’s Aiko?” Hinata asked after a moment.

            “Oh she’s in her room, she fell back asle-”

            “Daddy?” Aiko’s voice called from her bedroom.

            “Never mind, she’s awake,” he said setting down his half eaten pastry as he heard the sounds of her little feet on the floor growing closer to the kitchen.

            “Daddy the shirt you picked out fo- Hinata!” she said completely side-tracked by Hinata’s presence. She ran over to him and jumped into his lap. “What are these?” already interested in the pastries on the table.

            “They’re turnovers,” Hinata said adjusting her on his lap. He pulled a plate over for her and placed one on it. “Hey the thermos has hot chocolate, do you want some?” he said twisting to look at Aiko’s face as she stuffed it full of turnover.

            “Mhm,” she mumbled with her mouth full. Kageyama took the mugs and poured the hot chocolate into each mug and handed them out. “This is so good,” Aiko said dreamily laying her head back against Hinata’s chest. He hummed happily at her as he drank his hot chocolate.

            “This is really good, thank you,” Kageyama said putting his mug down. Hinata smiled at him, petting Aiko’s hair as she ate her breakfast, completely blissed out.

            “Oh it’s no problem,” he said dismissively. “I like feeding people, it’s what I do.” Kageyama couldn’t help the soft smile that came over his face.

            “I wish we could do this everyday,” Aiko said blissfully. Kageyama caught Hinata’s eye for a second before quickly looking away.

            “I’m going to go shower and get dressed, can you watch her a moment?” he said standing up quickly. Hinata nodded, and he walked over to his bedroom and closed the door behind him, taking the first deep breath since Hinata had arrived. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter, i really do. i'm just such a sucker for dialogue and Kagehina chatting is just the best. also nervous kageyama??? you mean heaven????

            Saturday afternoon found Kageyama in a situation that he hadn’t been in for a very long time. He sat in his living room, watching a movie with swearing and violence, with the volume loud, and completely alone. It was inherently unnerving for him. There was no teeny voice asking to draw and paint with him. There was no little body sprawled out on the floor with art supplies littering the living room. And there definitely was no tiny but persistent voice asking for ice cream for dinner. He was alone.

            So naturally he was completely tense. His phone hadn’t left his side and his mind kept wandering to all the possible worst scenarios that could happen while Aiko was with Yachi. Trying to shake those thoughts from his head he turned off the TV, which was infinitely worse because now the only thing he could hear were his own thoughts racing.

            Kageyama tapped a rhythm on his knee. He had an idea race through his head and he acted on it before he could really think about it, or more probably, talk himself out of it. Grabbing his phone next to him, he unlocked it and went straight to his messages typing out a short text to Hinata.

**< I don’t know if this is weird, but do you want to hang out?**

As soon as he pressed send he wished he could take it back. Embarrassment filled him almost immediately. He tossed his phone to the other side of the couch, not even wanting to look at it. Running his hand through his hair he went to get off the couch just as he heard his phone vibrate with a response.

**> Yeah sure!!! :)** **  
**

Somehow Kageyama felt worse. Embarrassment coiled in his guilt as he realized that it was no longer an abstract concept now that Hinata had replied.

**> The bakery closes at 7 today, so we can meet up after?**

**< Yeah no problem, I’ll meet you there**

Kageyama put down his phone face down. He could feel the embarrassment make room for a sort of giddiness. He looked his watch; it was only 1:56pm. He threw his head back and sighed. At the risk of getting ready too early, Kageyama forced himself to do something productive. He spent the next several hours doing more chores than he’d done in a while. He cleaned out the fridge of old food, dusted and vacuumed the living room, washed all of the dirty clothes and even changes all the bed sheets. By the time he had finished it was already 5:30pm.

            _Ok now I can start getting ready without being totally weird._

Kageyama walked into his bedroom and took a look at the freshly laundered pile of folded clothes in the basket by his bed. He stood staring at it for several minutes before he realized something crucial.

            _Wait, what am I even getting ready for? All I said was hang out, what does that even imply?_

Nervous about picking out the wrong clothing choice, Kageyama decided to prolong that decision by taking a shower. However when he finally came out, fresh and clean and shaved, he took another look at the basket of clothes and was stumped again.

            _Ok so I’ll wear something that doesn’t scream “I thought about what I’m wearing” but it also has to make me look good, but not like I’m trying to hard._

             After a while of staring at the clothes in nothing but his towel, he eventually settled on a pair of charcoal jeans and a forest green t-shirt that he thought clung to his body nicely. As he stared at his reflected he grew more and more insecure, but a glance at his phone told him he didn’t have enough time to go searching through his clothes again. Quickly putting away the remainder of the clothes away and throwing the bin in the closet he headed for the living room.

            He had a moment where he almost went to call out for Aiko, but she shook that impulse away. Grabbing his jacket he stuffed his wallet and keys into the pocket before heading out the door.

            As he was driving he felt another unfortunate realization. He had no idea what they were going to do. He knew he said hang out, but what did that even really entail? Kageyama knew he texted Hinata on impulse, but now he has to deal with that impulse, and he was at a complete loss. Pulling up in front of the bakery he knew he arrived too soon. Parking his car a block away, he looked down at his phone to check the time.

            _Damn it’s only 6:30, I still managed to get here too early._

He looked over at the bustling bakery. It seemed to be busier than when he normally goes there. As he got out of the car he hoped that he might not be seen; an idea that was dashed almost immediately.

             “Kageyama!” Lev called out to him over the din of the bakery as soon as he walked inside. Exhaling deeply, gave him a short wave before walking over. “Hey where’s Aiko?” Lev asked looking around and over the counter.

            “Um, she’s with her mom for the week,” Kageyama said just realizing how weird it must look to not have his daughter with him...and be there on a Saturday...half an hour before closing.

            “Oh ok, cool. Tell her I said hello,” Lev smiled. Kageyama nodded awkwardly. “So... can I get you anything?” he asked unsure.

            “Um, a c-coffee please,” he said rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously “Light and sweet.” Lev went to go make it Kageyama just stood there awkwardly. He never realized how much of his persona recently had been tied to Aiko. He wasn’t just Kageyama the artist anymore, or Kageyama the tattooist, he was Kageyama: Aiko’s dad.

            “Here you go,” Lev said handing over the coffee and taking the change. Kageyama gladly took the cup, thankful for something to do, and took a large gulp of the too hot coffee coughing slightly. “Um... so if you’re not here buying Aiko a snack... what brings to SunFlour...this Saturday night?” he said with a hint of a smirk.

            “Er,” Kageyama began avoiding eye contact with him, “I’m actually here um, waiting for Hinata.” He took another sip of the coffee, looking away.

            “Oh Hinata,” Lev said knowingly. “You guys...hanging out later?” he asked putting a weird emphasis on ‘hanging out’ that made Kageyama slightly embarrassed.

            “Uh yeah,” he said scratching his head.

            “Hmm,” Lev hummed smirking. “He did seem extra,” he made a vague circular hand motion, “this afternoon.”

            “I’ll have to take your word for it then,” Kageyama said uncomfortably. “Where is he anyway?”

            “He’s in the back,” Lev said motioning to the double doors. “But he should be out soon. He just cleaning up, cooling down the ovens, and putting shit away.”

            “Oh ok,” Kageyama said looking away from the double doors. A woman walked in and came over to the counter effectively taking Lev’s attention away from him. Kageyama took that moment to walk over to one of the empty tables. He sat down and pulled out phone trying to entertain himself. He couldn’t stop looking at the time. He would play a game, check the time, play another round, check the time, text Yachi, check the time, read Yachi’s response, check the time, put his phone down, pick it back up and check the time. Kageyama had long finished his coffee and bested his high score when he heard Lev tell that last few costumers that they were about to close.

            Suddenly feeling very nervous, Kageyama got up and walked over to the garbage can to throw away the cup when he heard the double doors swinging open.

            “Oh Kageyama, you’re already here!” Hinata said brightly. Lev leaned over to him.

            “He’s been since 6:3-ouch!” he yelped when Hinata gave him a hard elbow in the stomach and a meaningful look. Kageyama felt like a deer in headlights caught in Hinata’s gaze when he looked over at him.

            “Give me like 2 minutes and then we can go, ok?” Hinata said cheerfully, as he went back through the double doors. Kageyama took a deep breath and glanced over at Lev who was rubbing his side where Hinata elbowed him. Giving him an annoyed glare, Lev seemed to shrink under his gaze and went to start cleaning the counter.

            After a few minutes Hinata came back through the double doors in different clothes. He had changed out of the flour dusted jeans and yellow t-shirt with his store logo on it, into a nice pair of black skinny jeans and a crisp white t-shirt.

            “Hey Lev, Daichi’s locking up tonight, so I’ll see you Monday ok?” he said as he pulled on his green jacket.

            “Ok, bye boss!” Lev waved. “Have fun!” he added as Kageyama followed Hinata out of the store. Kageyama threw him an annoyed glance which he only received a mischievous grin in response.

            “So, what’s up? What are we doing?” Hinata asked happily as they walked towards Kageyama’s car.

            “I thought maybe we could grab dinner? I haven’t eaten at a place that didn’t have a kids menu for diner in years,” Kageyama said pulling out his keys. Hinata laughed.

            “Got it, so we should go somewhere super kid unfriendly,” he laughed as Kageyama unlocked his car and got into the drivers seat. “Where is Aiko anyway?” Hinata said getting into the passenger seat.

            “Um, she’s with her mom for the week,” Kageyama said turning on the car. He turned to look at Hinata. “How do you feel about burgers?”

* * *

 

            “So he comes in right? Like a week later. With another fucking sketchbook,” Kageyama says gesturing with his beer. Hinata laughed into his cup. “And he goes, ‘I’ve been doing some more drawings and I think I want to get one of these tattooed’.”

            “Again?” Hinata laughed. Kageyama nodded animatedly.

            “Yeah again! So I open it and start going through the drawings and- gnomes. Every single page is a creepier drawing of a gnome,” Kageyama explained trying not to laugh.

            “No fucking way,” Hinata says between laughs. He had to set his beer on the table because he’s laughing so hard he might spill in on himself.

            “Fucking way. I’m serious. It was like a whole moleskin filled with just really detailed gnome drawings,” Kageyama said chuckling. Hinata wipes the tears out from his eyes from laughing so hard.

            “Oh my god that’s amazing,” Hinata heaves. “I don’t think I would have known how to react to that. So what did you do?”

            “I told him that Tanaka was the expert gnome tattoo artist and I passed him along to him,” Kageyama said shrugging, Hinata laughed even harder. “I wasn’t about to sit with that weirdo, going through his entire gnome fetish book.” 

            “But-But why? Of all things to obsess over? Why fucking gnomes?” Hinata gasped in-between breaths.

           “I have no idea, but all I know is that Tanaka did not end up tattooing him; he wasn’t to pleased I passed him off to him either,” Kageyama said leaning back in his seat, picking up his beer to drink it.

            “Wow ok, you win. You’ve had the weirder costumer,” Hinata said putting up his hands in surrender.

            “I don’t know, I think the lady who came in asking where to sex shop was, is a close second. At least she bought some bread from you, although I would have thought she would wanted a buttered muffin,” Kageyama giggled. Hinata snorted into his glass, spitting beer on his lap.

            “Ew that’s so gross, the visual alone...I’m going to have nightmares,” Hinata said scrunching his nose in disgust.

            “Yeah sorry, that’s pretty gross,” Kageyama sighed happily. He leaned back in his seat in the booth. They came to Kageyama’s favorite burger joint- that he rarely got to come to because of Aiko. Sitting there, in a restaurant that didn’t have crayons, eating off a menu that didn’t offer chocolate milk, drinking a cold beer made Kageyama realize how long it had been since he had done something like this. There was a part of him that really missed Aiko, a big part of him. But, as he sat here with Hinata in this booth...

            “Hey you alright? You got really quiet for a second,” Hinata asked. Kageyama sat up, setting his now empty glass on the table.

            “Yeah, I'm fine. I was actually just thinking about how I couldn’t remember the last time I went out to a restaurant that didn’t have booster seats,” he chuckled picking up a fry. “It’s weird, kind of.”

            “So you never get like a baby sitter and go hang out with a group of friends?” Hinata asked tossing a leftover mushroom from his burger into his mouth.

            “Um, no not really,” Kageyama said shaking his head, making a face at the mushroom.

            “So you just spend all of your time watching Aiko and never giving yourself a break?” Hinata asked incredulously.

            “I guess not? I mean when you put it that way...” Kageyama said rubbing the back of his neck.

            “Dude you need to relax more,” Hinata said. “You’re going to implode.”

            “People keep telling me that, do I look super high strung to you?” Kageyama asked leaning forward on the table. Hinata laughed.

            “Do you want me to answer that?” he said chuckling. Kageyama rolled his eyes, smiling at him. “Seriously though, my mom was a single mom for basically as long as I could remember. She would do everything for us, be both parents. And it wasn’t until too late that she realized that was really detrimental to her health.”

            “Is-is she ok?” Kageyama asked, feeling a bit more sober.

            “She’s ok now, but there was a while where she had high blood pressure, she would get panic attacks, once she even got Shingles. But she would never relax,” Hinata said twisting his glass in his hand. Kageyama watched him nervously play with the rim of the glass. “So you really have to watch out for yourself. You can’t just go go go because you’re young and you’ll relax when you’re dead. That’s not really the best long term plan for Aiko is it?”

            “Wow... I guess you’re right,” Kageyama said seriously. “I guess... I’ve just been ignoring what everyone has been saying because, I don’t know, I felt fine- I _feel_ fine. But I was in my apartment by myself today and I could just feel myself being so tense.”

            “Yeah, you need to chill. Take this week and just, relax,” Hinata said finishing his beer.

            “Ok,” Kageyama said smiling at Hinata. “I’ll be right back, I’m just go settle our bill- no seriously I got it,” Kageyama said getting up, squashing Hinata’s protest to pay. “I’ll even pay for your gross mushrooms,” he jested.

            “Fine, I’ll just get the next one,” Hinata said quietly as Kageyama walked away. Though the music in the restaurant was loud, he managed to hear that and a small smile formed on his face.

            A few minutes later they were both full and satisfied, walking towards Kageyama’s car. It had gotten just slightly colder and they each had their hands in their jacket pockets, but they were walking close enough that their arms would brush with each step. Kageyama kept trying to keep himself from staring at Hinata but every time he would speak, Kageyama found it hard not to gaze at Hinata’s face. When they approached Kageyama’s car they both paused right in front of it.

            “So what are we doing now?” Hinata asked looking up at Kageyama. He looked down at him, seeing that Hinata was standing a lot closer than he expected him to be.

            “Um, honestly I don’t know,” Kageyama said shrugging. He made eye contact with Hinata, and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to look away.

            “I mean, I have a few ideas, but I can just save them for our second date,” Hinata said grinning. Kageyama heart rose into his throat and he felt like he could barely breathe.

            “Our s-second date?” he stuttered, looking at Hinata with wide eyes. Hinata just grinned wider.

            “Yeah, our second date. This was our first date, and the next one will be our second date. That’s the way counting works,” he said mockingly, smiling at Kageyama’s look of sheer shock. Hinata took a step closer and put his hand on Kageyama’s arm.

            “Ok, yeah. You pick...our second date,” Kageyama mumbled, he’s eyes going from Hinata’s eyes to his lips. He leaned down a marginal amount as Hinata tilted his head up. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s breath of his lips.

            “I’m going to kiss you now ok?” Hinata breathed against Kageyama’s mouth. He gave him a small nod before he felt Hinata’s lips on his.

            This kiss was soft and short, but it left Kageyama feeling dizzy and light headed. He could feel Hinata moving his arms up to wrap around his neck. On impulse Kageyama brought his hands to settle on Hinata’s waist. They pulled away, keeping their forehead together, their noses just brushing.

            “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” Kageyama whispered onto Hinata’s lips. Hinata smiled beneath him.

            “You and me both,” Hinata said bringing their lips together one more time. Lifting his hands to Kageyama’s face, his settled them on his neck. Kageyama slid his hand between Hinata’s jacket and shirt, resting it on the small of his back. This kiss was a bit surer than the other. Kageyama slotted his lips between Hinata’s, and sucked on his lower lip. He nipped it, then swiped his tongue along the edge. He could feel Hinata hum in appreciation as he opened his mouth a bit. Kageyama tentatively moved his tongue into Hinata’s mouth, gaining confidence when Hinata responded by sliding his alongside it. They stood there, pressing unsure nervous kisses to each other, loosing track of all time. Eventually Hinata pulled back, with a final kiss to Kageyama lips.

            “Um, I’m not exactly sure how to say this without being too forward, but I really don’t want to end our date yet,” Hinata said looking searchingly into Kageyama’s eyes.

            “No, I totally understand what you mean,” Kageyama said smiling softly down at him. “How about we end our first date tomorrow?” As soon as he said it he realized the implication. Hinata’s eyes went wide and Kageyama’s face blushed instantly and he took a step back from Hinata. “I-I didn’t mean it like _that_! I meant like, you could just come over and hang out, n-no pressure,” Kageyama rushed to explain. Hinata just giggled at his awkwardness.

            “It’s fine, we can just hang out. No pressure,” Hinata said in between laughs.

            “Oh god,” Kageyama sighed, mumbling into his hand. He moved his hand to look at Hinata who was smiling up at him. Kageyama took a step forward again and closed the distance between them. Cradling Hinata’s’ head in his hand, Kageyama adjusted their position so he could get as much access to his mouth as he wanted. Pushing his tongue in, he felt Hinata moan into his mouth. Kageyama placed his other hand on Hinata’s hip as Hinata fisted his hands on his jacket. Hinata pulled away, gasping for breath.

             “I thought you said no pressure,” Hinata whispered, his eyes still half lidded.

            “I’m not pressuring you,” Kageyama murmured against Hinata’s lips. He could feel Hinata move his leg along his. He could hear the shallow breaths coming from Hinata’s mouth. He could see Hinata’s lips in the dim street light, red and swollen from kissing.

            “You’re right,” Hinata a murmured, his eyes fixed on Kageyama’s lips.

            “We shouldn’t... continue though,” Kageyama whispered. “We should take things slow.” Hinata moved restlessly beneath him.

            “I agree with you but also I really want to...” Hinata said running his hand down Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Opening his eyes, he let go of his hold on Hinata. He brought his hand to his mouth, running the tip of his finger on his lips in thought

            “I... I want to be up front with you,” Kageyama said nervously staring down at the ground. He could see in his periphery Hinata turn his head to face him.

            “Ok,” Hinata said carefully.

            “I haven’t...” Kageyama didn’t know exactly how to say what he needed to. “I haven’t dated anyone in a while.”

            “Ok, that’s fine,” Hinata said cautiously, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop.

            “And I’ve never dated... a guy before,” Kageyama said quietly. He turned his head and looked at Hinata carefully. Hinata was looking at him warily. “I mean, I know I’m gay- I’m not having like a sexuality crisis with you or anything,” Kageyama rushed to add. “What I’m trying to say is... I haven’t exactly... dated anyone since Aiko was born. Like gone on dates, kind of dated.”

            “That’s ok,” Hinata said after a moment. “I’m not expecting you to...I didn’t think...” Hinata paused trying to collect himself. “I trust you.”

            “Good,” Kageyama said softly. Hinata offered him an easy smile. “I trust you.”

            “Good,” Hinata said softly. They stood there for a few minutes. They felt no need to talk, just being there with each other was good enough for the moment.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your comments have been A M A Z I N G 
> 
> *warning* sexual situtations (get fucking hyped, there will be much more)

            Kageyama woke up the next morning feeling entirely too warm. His eyes fluttered open to his too bright room. Sleepily, he turned his head to look for his phone but all he saw was bright ginger hair. Very awake now, he stared at the head of hair, not even believing what he was seeing.

            _Did...did...he’s in my bed. He’s laying in my bed with me in it._

            He craned his neck to look down at his body. They were both under the covers; Hinata had his head lying on Kageyama’s chest with his arm thrown over him and his leg between Kageyama’s. Both dressed, in t-shirts and boxers. Kageyama took a relieved breath.

            _Ok so no sex, just sleeping. Ok so last night we... came back here...and we...watched a movie? But I thought we fell asleep on the couch?_

“I woke up in the middle of the night because my neck hurt, so you suggested we move to your bed. You must have been half asleep,” Hinata mumbled into his chest. Kageyama tilted his head down to look at Hinata. “You were thinking out loud,” he mumbled, answering Kageyama’s thought again.

            “Oh sorry,” Kageyama murmured, running his fingers through Hinata’s hair. Hinata just hummed happily as nestled closer to him. He could feel Hinata’s fingers tracing shapes on his chest.

            “How many tattoos do you have?” Hinata asked after a few quiet minutes. He turned his head to look up from where it lay on Kageyama’s chest.

            “Um... a lot,” Kageyama said shifting up a bit to so he could look at Hinata with out hurting his neck. “Well, it’s not so much as a bunch of little tattoos, but more of a few big ones.”

            “Can...can I see them?” Hinata asked timidly like he wasn’t sure if what he was asking was too personal.

            “Uh yeah sure, here um... get up for a sec?” Kageyama said moving to sit up right. Hinata moved back so he was kneeling on the bed in front of him. In one swift movement Kageyama pulled off his shirt and placed it next to him on the bed. He bashfully rubbed his arm as he sat under Hinata’s observation.

            “Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Hinata said looking across Kageyama’s chest. He was almost entirely covered in tattoos from his hands up his arms and across his chest there was almost no space left unmarked. “Do you...can you tell me about them?” Hinata said, his finger brushing some of the lines on Kageyama’s arm.

            “Um yeah sure,” Kageyama said swallowing nervously. “So both hands have the skeletal system,” he said showing Hinata his hands. “Um, then they lead into full sleeves of traditional Japanese dragon tattoos, the right representing good, the left representing evil.” He looked up at Hinata who was tracing the lines with his finger. Coughing to cover up his nervousness he continued. “So then on my chest down my right side I have this giant tree, with a murder of crows perched on some branches, a few of them just taken flight like this one here on the right side of my neck,” he said brushing his fingers on his neck. Hinata had crawled forward and was now intently looking at each tattoo in depth. “Uh, s-so then at the bottom of the tree the ground kind of breaks off into the surface of the water where there is this kraken, and it’s tentacles wrap around the base of the tree and stretch all the way up to my left shoulder and some even go on my back.” He twisted around so he could some Hinata his back. “See, some of the tentacles go as far as here. The whole thing has like a wind, earth, water meaning. But yeah, so on my back though it’s actually fairly empty it’s just the wayward tentacles from the kraken that sort of...wrapped around this way.” Kageyama turned back to face Hinata who was still staring wide-eyed at his chest. “Oh and I have ‘Aiko’ tattooed small on the side of my right forefinger. But that’s it...” he trailed off.

            “These are amazing,” Hinata said awed as he ran his fingers down Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama couldn’t help but flush.

            “Th-thank you,” he stuttered, watching Hinata. “Do you have any?” Hinata looked up at him.

            “Um, no,” he said moving so he sat cross-legged across from Kageyama on the bed. “I mean, I’ve always wanted one but... I don’t know I never got one.”

            “Oh,” Kageyama said crossing his legs so he could sit closer to Hinata.

            “I don’t think I would look as good as you,” Hinata smirked gesturing to Kageyama’s bare chest. “I wouldn’t be able to pull off so many like you can.”

            “W-what?” Kageyama said flustered not sure how to respond to Hinata’s comments about him.

            “Come on, you can’t pretend that you don’t know how attractive you are,” Hinata said putting his hands on his hips. Kageyama just stared at him flabbergasted. “You really don’t know...” Hinata said astonished.

            “Sorry?” Kageyama said shrugging. “Well like I assumed I wasn’t ugly or anything, but I don’t know... I never really think about it.”

            “Ugh, so you’re just naturally hot, that’s so much worse,” Hinata said putting his face in his hands.

            “I guess? Honestly aside from showering, and tattoo designs, I barely think about my appearance,” Kageyama said honestly. Hinata groaned again.

            “That’s not even fair!” Hinata exclaimed. “I have to work so hard to make sure my hair isn’t a rats nest, that I shave, work out at the gym, and I still... you know... look like this.” He huffed gesturing to himself.

            “I don’t understand,” Kageyama said furrowing his brow, Hinata gave him an exhausted look. “No really, I’ve had the biggest crush on you for like, years. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone that I’ve ever been more attracted to.”

            “Stop, you can’t be hot and cute at the same time. It’s an unfair advantage,” Hinata said throwing himself backwards on the bed with his hands covering his face. Kageyama smiled as he moved crawling to hover over Hinata. He looked down at Hinata, moving one of his hands away from his face.

            “I think,” he bent down to press a kiss to Hinata’s jaw, “that you,” he pressed another kiss to Hinata’s neck, “are,” he kissed his collarbone, “cute and hot,” he said bringing his head up to Hinata’s and placing his lips on Hinata’s. Hinata reacted immediately by moving his hand up to Kageyama’s neck. He parted his lips allowing Kageyama to gently explore his mouth. Kageyama could feel Hinata’s other hand run up his side causing him to shudder into his mouth. His pulled his mouth away to take a breath. Hinata’s lips chased his, raising his head to lick a last stripe on his mouth before settling his head back on the bed.

            “Do...do you want breakfast?” Kageyama said sitting up, trying to find his voice again. He could feel his own stomach rumbling.

            “Of course I do,” Hinata said getting up. Kageyama pulled on his t-shirt over his head as he got off the bed. “Oh...you could have left that off,” Hinata bemoaned. Kageyama rolled his eyes as he put on sweatpants, hitting the back of Hinata’s head as he walked out of the room.

* * *

 

            “Ok this is becoming increasingly unfair,” Hinata said around a mouth full of omelet. “You can’t also be a good cook, you need to be bad at something.”

            “I’m not very good at math,” Kageyama said taking a sip of coffee.

            “Well neither am I, so that doesn’t help me,” Hinata pouted. “I’m supposed to be the one with the cooking ability.”

            “Sorry?” Kageyama said. He watched as Hinata stuffed a mouthful of omelet into his mouth with a pout.

            “Where’d you learn to cook so well?” Hinata asked taking a large last bite, finishing off his plate.

            “Well in college, Yachi my girlfriend at the time- Aiko’s mom, she was terrible at anything remotely cooking related. So I was the one who would cook for us,” he explained taking a bite of his food. “And now I cook for Aiko, who eats practically anything, and eats all the time. So I’m always cooking. Plus, I didn’t want to be that stereotypical single dad who has his kid live off take out and frozen dinners.”

            “I could see why she would eat all the time, that was so good,” Hinata said leaning back in his chair.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said faintly blushing. He glanced up at Hinata who was watching him from his seat across the kitchen table.

            “You know,” Hinata began, leaning forward putting his arms on the table in front of him. “Never did I think we’d actually end up here; sitting together and eating breakfast. Like two adults who like each other.”

            “Why is that?” Kageyama asked picking up his mug. He paused in his motions. “Not that I thought we would either, not a chance. I just want to know why you thought that.”

            “Why?” Hinata repeated surprised. “Because when you first walked into my bakery years ago I thought ‘Wow that might be the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, and he has a kid. Of course he’s married’.” Kageyama snorted into his cup. “But then after awhile I was like ‘fuck it, I’m going to flirt with him’ and I did. And then I found out your weren’t married. And I thought that your flustering was just me making you uncomfortable, or better yet, you possibly questioning your sexuality for me.”

            “You’re exaggerating,” Kageyama said taking a sip of coffee.

            “I’m really not,” Hinata said sitting back. “Literally it was like you stepped out of fantasy. This tall, dark, tattooed guy coming in sauntering- all broody looking, with these fucking arms that look like you could just...” Hinata made a moaning sound, “and you have this aurora that’s like this ‘I don’t take any shit and I could kill a man and I’m not afraid to either’ vibe that just ebbs off you,” Kageyama made a face. “No it’s true. Its fucking badass. Scary, but fucking hot. But then you have this precious little toddler holding your hand and you talk to her with such patience and sweetness. And then you come in all the time and you’re this awkward flustered mess- I swear I wanted to have you the moment I saw you.”

            Kageyama had stilled with his mug at his lips. Licking his lips calmly he set the mug down on the table. He got up, taking his plate and mug from the table and placed it in the sink. He then took Hinata’s empty plate from him and placed it in the sink. Kageyama quickly stepped out of the room and when he came back he see Hinata standing up next to the table, with a blanched face taught with confusion.

            “D-did I say something wrong?” he asked fretfully. Kageyama took two giant steps over to Hinata. As he put out his arm, he grabbed on to the back of Hinata’s head holding him by the hair and crashed his mouth on to his. Hinata reacted immediately, kissing back with as much force and friction as Kageyama was giving him. They both met each other, bite for bite, aggressively trying to get as much of the other person as they could. Kageyama fisted his hand in Hinata’s hair, his other hand worming it’s way up Hinata’s shirt. Hinata matched Kageyama’s force, wrapping his arms around Kageyama’s back pulling at his shirt trying to remove it.

            Eventually Kageyama pulled back for just enough time for them both to rip off their shirts and tossed them on the floor. Hinata ran his hands down Kageyama’s chest, earning a moan in his mouth. Kageyama pushed Hinata down onto his back on the table. Kissing his way down Hinata’s chest, Kageyama palmed Hinata through his boxers. When his mouth reached his crotch, Kageyama pulled off Hinata’s boxers and tossed them behind him.

            Hinata lay on the table panting as Kageyama fixed his mouth on Hinata’s cock and began to work his way down. He massaged his tongue along Hinata’s shaft as he took more of him into his mouth.

“D-do you, ha-have a tongue piercing?” Hinata panted lifting his head slightly to look down at Kageyama. Kageyama looked up, and slide off Hinata’s cock. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue showing the small and barely noticeable red ball bearing. Letting out a huff of air that was a mix of a sigh and a laugh, Hinata leaned his head back on the table as Kageyama took him into his mouth again.

Slowly, he took it in inch by inch until his nose was pressed against Hinata’s pelvis. Kageyama swallowed around Hinata, causing him to let out a loud sob. Pulling back slowly Kageyama worked his mouth and hand around Hinata, bringing Hinata to a whining mess on the table.

            “Pl-plea-please,” Hinata begged. Kageyama pulled his mouth off entirely with a wet pop. He arranged Hinata so that he was completely lying on the table with his feet perched on the top of the chair to give him leverage. Going into the pocket of his sweatpants, Kageyama pulled out the thing that he went to get when he stepped out of the room. Flipping open the lid to the tube of lube, Kageyama poured it generously on his fingers.

            He warmed out the lube on his fingers before easing his forefinger in to Hinata’s entrance; he stood over Hinata laying on the table watching as he breathed deeply. Getting into a rhythm, Kageyama work his finger in and out of Hinata. He moved his free hand to the hem of his pants and worked his hand on his own leaking cock. Working another finger into Hinata he searched for the bundle of nervous and knew when he found it when Hinata arched his back with a hiss. Matching his rhythm on his cock with his fingers in Hinata, he worked him self and Hinata into a frenzy. Kageyama could hear Hinata’s whines and breathy moans as he came into his hand. He kept moving his fingers in Hinata and fixed his mouth to Hinata’s painfully hard cock as he worked Hinata into a violent orgasm. He barely registered Hinata’s half-hearted attempts to warn him before Hinata was coming in his mouth. He slowed the pace of his fingers and mouth, working Hinata down from coming until he was moaning with oversensitivity.

            He pulled off Hinata with a wet pop and walked over to the garbage to spit out Hinata’s come. He took a paper towel and wiped off his come from his hand and cleaned the lube off his other fingers. Kageyama took some more and went over to the table to clean up a still panting Hinata.

            “So much for going slow,” Hinata said taking his boxers that Kageyama picked up off the floor.

            “We can do that next time,” Kageyama said leaning against the table watching Hinata put on his boxers. “Although, I do wish I lasted longer. I just... you know,” Kageyama rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously, “caring for a small child isn’t exactly conducive for an active sex life... I’m a little rusty.”

            “Didn’t feel like that to me,” Hinata smirked, stretching his back. “Though there was a second there where I wasn’t sure what was happening. You just started clearing the table and I got nervous.”

“I didn’t mean to make your nervous before, but I didn’t want to break any dishes,” Kageyama explained as Hinata stretched his arms. “Plus I like the element of surprise.”

            “Well, you sure surprised me,” Hinata said cracking his neck.  “I thought I offended you somehow or something. I thought you were going to kick me out but then next thing I knew I’m getting finger fucked. God, I love kitchen sex,” Hinata sighed. Kageyama snorted.

            “Good to know,” Kageyama said

“But I can’t believe I didn’t notice you had a tongue piercing. I should have guessed though.” Hinata said.

“I keep a really small rod, barely noticeable,” he said shrugging. “It’s actually kind of hard to talk with a rod in your mouth, so I try to make sure I keep it as small as I can. Plus I’ve had it for a long time. I don’t have a lisp anymore,” he said walking over and picking up Hinata’s and his shirt.

“You had a lisp?” Hinata said watching him. “Oh my god that’s so cute.”

Frowning at Hinata, Kageyama handed him his shirt and he went to put on his own, but Hinata stopped him.

            “No, no don’t- don’t put it on yet,” Hinata said pulling his shirt out of his hands.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i don't know what i like more; writing this fic or reading your guys comments on it. 
> 
> *warning* mild discussion of body modification (i'm not decribing any thing in depth, or frankly at all, but if you are interested in what everything looks like, i suggest googling the names. or you can comment and i can tell you, but a picture is worth a 1,000 words) 
> 
> also next chapter starts the angst so B E R E A D Y

           

* * *

            Kageyama walked into work ten minutes early Monday morning with a slight smile on his face. He pulled off his jacket as he walked through the door. His phone vibrated with a text that he rushed to see. Smiling into his phone, he texted Hinata a response.

            “Why are you smiling into your phone?” a deep glib voice asked. Kageyama sighed before looking up.

            “Kuroo, I see you’re back,” Kageyama said sliding his phone into his pocket ignoring the question. Kuroo just snorted.

            “Don’t look too excited,” Kuroo scoffed walking around the counter and turning on the main computer. Kageyama rolled his eyes.

            “I am glad you’re back,” Kageyama said folding his arms across his chest. “We’ve gotten so many calls about piercings and we had no Piercer.”

            “I missed you too, Kages,” Kuroo said sitting down in the chair and not looking up from the computer. Kageyama huffed. “Are you really not going to ask me how the Bod Mod Con went?” he asked looking over his shoulder at Kageyama.

            “How was the Body Modification Convention, Kuroo?” Kageyama asked exasperated.

            “Awesome,” Kuroo said swiveling in his chair to face Kageyama with a self-satisfied look.  Kageyama went to retort but was cut off by the sound of the door opening.

            “Hey Kagey- YOOOOO KUROO! YOU’RE BACK!” Tanaka shouted running over to Kuroo. He pulled him into a hug, clapping him on the back. “Dude I missed you man. I did so many amazing ink’s that you missed, but I took some dope pics and you’ve got to put them on the website. But I’m so glad you’re back! How was the Bod Mod Convention?” Kuroo looked pointedly at Kageyama before answering.

            “It was so awesome. There were so many incredible people there, doing all sorts of shit. There was all the regular vanilla stuff but then there were... all kinds of awesome shit. There was surface piercing, transdermal implants of all sorts _in all sort of places,_ there was a girl suspended by hooks from her back, and I even saw this guy who was pearled,” Kuroo said.

            “Pearled?” Tanaka asked confused.

            “Pearling is when a guy gets these small pearl like implants along his shaft. It’s supposed to increase sexual pleasure,” Kuroo explained grinning at Tanaka’s horror.

            “Why would anyone fuck with their dick like that?” Tanaka asked horrified. Kuroo just smirked.

            “Dick piercings aren’t so bad,” he shrugged grinning. “While I was there I got my dydoe.”

            “Dude I don’t even want to know what that is,” Tanaka said shaking his head. “I’m more of a tattoo guy. Piercings are just not for me.”

            “I don’t know, they’re not so bad,” Kageyama said speaking up. Tanaka and Kuroo looked at him skeptically. Kageyama shifted nervously. “I mean I used to have a lot more piercings, like a rook, right eyebrow, bottom lip. I had my septum for a bit in college, but one cold and I was done. Now I just have this industrial,” he pointed to his left ear, “the tongue piercing,” he gestured to his mouth, “and um... a...Prince Albert.”

           “What!?” Kuroo shouted in surprise, but Tanka just looked confused. Kageyama refused to look at him. “I can’t believe you! Really?” Kageyama gave a minute nod. “Dude, I didn’t know that, but that’s amazing,” he praised.

            “Wait,” Tanaka said looking between them, “I don’t know what a Prince Albert is.”

            “Just Google it,” Kuroo said happily, patting Tanaka on the back. Kageyama sighed and walked away pulling out his phone and going towards his workroom.

* * *

 

            “Ok so, remember to clean it and apply the salve to it and you should be good,” Kageyama said pulling off his latex gloves and throwing them in the trash. The woman sitting on his tattooing chair was still admiring her new lotus tattoo on her right shoulder.

            “Cool,” she said happily. “I can’t thank you enough, this looks amazing.” She got up off the chair. Kageyama walked her out to the front counter so she could pay.

            “Do you mind if I see?” Kuroo said sauntering over. The tall bedroom eyed man smirked at her until she melted in front of him.

            “O-ok,” she said with a breathy smile. She slipped off the sleeve of her shirt to show the tattoo. Kuroo bent down to get a closer look. The woman took a sharp breath when Kuroo stepped in close to get a good look at the tattoo. As Kageyama processed the transaction, he scowled at Kuroo’s antics. 

            “Well, it’s beautiful. But Kageyama also does great work, you were in good hands,” Kuroo said standing up straighter, towering over the woman. She looked up dreamily at him.

            “What do you so here?” she asked staring up at Kuroo.

            “I do piercings,” he said leaning against the counter. Kageyama watched him with a very unveiled look of disgust.

            “Like any kind of piercings?” she asked flirtatiously. Kuroo smirked at her.

            “Oh, all kinds,” he said in his low deep voice. Kageyama had had enough.

            “Ok well, thank you for coming. I hope you enjoy your tattoo,” Kageyama said gruffly before walking around the counter. The woman took the hint and gave a small wave goodbye, glancing back at Kuroo as she walked out. Kuroo watched her walked out and then turned around annoyed, to face Kageyama.

            “Dude, I almost had her making an appoint- why are you smiling at your phone again?” Kuroo asked cutting himself off. Kageyama, who had been unconsciously smiling into his phone, schooled his features and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

            “What? I wasn’t,” Kageyama said quickly. Kuroo just gave him a suspicious look. Kageyama walked away going back into his workroom. He pulled out his phone. Hinata had sent him several texts while he was tattooing and he just got to look at them now. He had never felt this level of giddiness before. Kageyama knew he felt happy and amazing with Aiko but this was completely different. He scrolled through the messages that Hinata had sent in him. A mix of texts, emojis, and pictures made Kageyama smile softly to himself. He opened up the most recent text Hinata had sent him, only a few minutes prior. It was a picture of Hinata covered head to toe in flour, he ginger hair dulled by the white powder, looking annoyed but not mad as Lev laughed in the background. Kageyama smiled into his phone.

            “Hey isn’t that the short dude who owns the bakery a block down? The one you have that massive crush on?” Kuroo’s voice said behind him. Kageyama went tense as he realized Kuroo had been standing behind him looking over his shoulder. He simply locked his phone and turned to Kuroo.

            “It’s rude to look over people’s shoulder and read their texts,” Kageyama said trying to keep his voice even.

            “So you’re not denying it was the baker guy?” Kuroo smirked crossing his arms.

            “You know, it was so much more peaceful when you weren’t here,” Kageyama said narrowing his eyes at him.

            “That’s not true at all,” Kuroo snarked. “So I’m going to take that as a yes about the baker.” Kageyama narrowed his eyes further at him. Refusing to answer, Kuroo just grew smugger.

            “I’m going to tell Tanaka it was if you don’t answer me,” Kuroo said in a singsong voice.

            “Fine, fine. Yes it was, but just please don’t tell Tanaka,” Kageyama beseeched lowering his voice. “It’s all like, really new and he’s kind of...”

            “Overbearing,” Kuroo finished. Kageyama nodded. “Don’t worry, Kages. I got your back,” he said throwing an arm around his shoulders.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama finished uncomfortably. “I need to call Aiko now so if you’ll excuse me...” Kageyama pointed to the doorway. Kuroo left and Kageyama closed the door, putting his tattooing chair against the doorknob. He unlocked his phone and dialed Yachi’s number. He pressed the phone to his ear sitting in his tattooing table as he listened to it ring a few times.

            “Hey Tobio,” Yachi said picking the phone.

            “Hitoka, hey,” Kageyama said trying his hardest not to immediately ask about Aiko. “How are you guys?”

            “We’re great actually. We got here yesterday to the convention hall- it’s not far from my apartment actually, and Yamaguchi and some of the others had already set up the booth for today so, me and Aiko have been just hanging out, seeing some cool art. Talking to artists. Eating a lot. Right Aiko? Are you having fun with mommy?” Yachi said. Kageyama could hear Aiko agree happily in the background.

            “That sounds fun,” Kageyama said. “Can I talk to her?”

            “Oh yeah of course,” Yachi said. He could hear the rustling of her passing the phone over until he heard the sweet high-pitched voice he’s been missing so much.

            “Hi daddy, I miss you. But I’m having so much fun with mommy,” Aiko said when Yachi handed her the phone.

            “Hey Belly,” he beamed into the speaker. “I miss you too, but I’m so glad you’re having a good time with mommy.”

            “Yeah, we got to see _art_ daddy,” she said as if it was something she had to work hard for Kageyama to understand. “And it’s different from the museum we go to. The people who draw are right there!”

            “That sounds amazing Belly,” Kageyama said smiling into the phone. He listened as Aiko explained all the different artists that her and her mom had seen. She described in detail her favorite drawing of a cherry blossom, waxing poetic the way only a small child can. Kageyama felt his chest tighten as he listened to her. He loved hearing that his daughter was having an amazing time, he loved hearing about all the things she’s seeing, and he loved knowing she was having a good time with her mom. But he missed her, terribly. Kageyama had never spent this much time apart from her. And hearing her small cheerful voice on the other end of the phone made his throat constrict with emotion.

            “Well, I’m glad you’re having a good time Belly,” Kageyama said trying not to sound to emotional.

            “I am daddy,” she said. He could practically see her giving him that toothy grin she always does when she reassures him. “We’re going to go get a snack now, Bye daddy!”

            “Bye Aiko,” he said. We went to move the phone his ear when he heard a small shout on the phone.

            “Wait daddy!” Aiko said loudly into the phone.

            “What is it?” Kageyama asked mildly concerned.

            “I love you and I miss you,” she said in the quiet way she gets that reminds Kageyama so much of himself.

            “I love you and I miss you too Belly,” he said contently into the phone. He heard the call disconnect as he pulled the phone away from his ear. He let out a heavy breath and lied down on his tattooing table, throwing and arm over his eyes.

            Hinata had successfully distracted him during the weekend but now he was filled with all the emotions of missing Aiko all at once. He had tried to put it out of mind, reminding himself that she was with her mother and she was all right and he could survive a week without her, but now he wasn’t so sure. Aiko had become his life and sometimes he could barely remember life before her. His entire adulthood revolved around her; he never knew being an independent adult without the responsibility of Aiko.

            He felt his phone vibrate in his hand twice. He unlocked it and saw that he had two texts. The first from Yachi, a picture of Aiko eating a meat bun bigger that her head grinning entirely too happy to be doing so, and the second form Hinata, a short text that read:

**> dinner after wrk? (shirts optional) **

            He smiled into his phone. He first saved the picture of Aiko to his phone and set it as his background, and then he answered Hinata. He locked his phone and slid it into his pocket as he got off the table. Moving the tattooing chair from its place as a blockade, he opened the door just as Iwaizumi went to knock on it.

            “I was looking for you,” Iwaizumi said putting down the hand he was about to knock on the door with.

            “Oh? What is it?” Kageyama asked nervously.

            “Its nothing bad,” Iwaizumi said. “Some guy came in today for a consult with me about a forearm piece that he wants done. He wants this very detailed, large Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton on his right forearm. I told him you were the best at smaller intricate details like that.”

            “But you’re good at that too,” Kageyama said suspiciously. Iwaizumi frowned at him, looking like he rethinking what he said.

            “You’re right, he was annoying and I’m passing him off to you,” Iwaizumi said coming clean. “Also that tattoo seemed to fit in better with your style, it’ll look good it your portfolio.” Iwaizumi patted his shoulder.

            “Ah, I see,” Kageyama said crossing his arms.

            “Yup, he’ll be here Friday around noon,” he said walking out of the workroom. “I do have to warn you,” Iwaizumi said sticking his head in as he started to walk away, “Kuroo said he knew him, so... that should tell you something.”

            “Ugh,” Kageyama groaned as Iwaizumi left. He sat down at his desk and pulled out his phone and his large drawing pad. He typed in ‘T Rex’ into the Google bar and began to draw.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and i'm not even sorry about the cliffhanger
> 
> the angst begins...

            “He was _ugh_ ,” Kageyama groaned rolling his neck in discomfort. Hinata giggled into his bowl from across the table. They sat together that Friday night eating dinner at a local ramen shop. “He was just so condescending and irritating,” Kageyama complained swirling around noodles in his bowl.

            “He just came in for a consult, how bad could he have been?” Hinata ask slurping up an errant noodle.

            “Really fucking frustrating,” Kageyama grumbled. “He comes in, all snarky, and I try to conduct the consult normally, but he starts like, questioning my credentials and my skill. I showed him like over a dozen possible designs and he had some fucking problem with each of them. He nitpicked everything, like I’m some kind of back alley tattooist that’s going to give him a shitty tattoo,” Hinata pretended to look scandalized.

             “ _No, not you’re skill_ ,” he mocked laughing. “Why would you let one guy come in an bother you? You know you’re good. And the best revenge would be to give him some kickass tattoo, and then watch him eat his words.”

            “Yeah I guess,” Kageyama said, annoyed that Hinata’s plan was better than his first idea to simply punch him. “But it also doesn’t help that he knows Kuroo- who also, completely forgot to mention, he is fucking ex-boyfriend. So that added an extra ten minutes of this Tsukishima guy’s pithy remarks about Kuroo, and Kuroo finding every excuse to come into the room.” Kageyama said annoyed. He picked up his cup. “But yeah, other than that, work was alright.” Hinata snorted into his bowl, and Kageyama couldn’t help but smile.

            “I can see you had a grand ol’ time,” Hinata said drinking up the last of the broth in the bowl. Kageyama tossed him a napkin to wipe the bit of liquid that was going down his chin.

            “How was your day? Well, actually I know how your day was, I had a running play by play with pictures,” Kageyama said leaning back in his chair. Hinata grinned sheepishly at him as he wiped his mouth.

            “What? I like taking pictures,” he said looking away from Kageyama.

            “I like your pictures,” Kageyama said looking at Hinata from across the table. Hinata looked up at him with an intense stare and a sly smirk. Kageyama just grinned at him, and wiggled his eyebrows.  

            “You’re such a dork,” Hinata said exasperated, rolling his eyes. Kageyama just laughed at him for breaking first. “Come on let’s get out of here,” he said putting his money on the table. Kageyama followed him out the door and fell into step next to him. He felt Hinata slip his fingers in between his as they walked to Hinata’s car. He couldn’t help but feel entirely contented. This past week had been almost complete bliss. He and Hinata had spent every possible moment together. Though they agreed to take things slow and hadn’t progressed past making out and heavy petting, Kageyama couldn’t be happier. The feeling of Hinata’s hand in his felt so normal now he couldn’t believe it was a recent development.

            “I’m really missing Aiko, but I do have to say this,” he squeezed his hand around Hinata’s, “has been really nice.” Kageyama smiled down at Hinata who squeezed back.

            “We can find a way to go out. We can even bring her on some dates,” Hinata said shrugging. “It’s no big deal. You guys are a package deal, I knew that going in,” he said as they reached Hinata’s car. Kageyama stopped, pulled his hand out from Hinata’s and placed it oh the back of his neck and leaned down to kiss Hinata sweetly.

            “Man, I wish we weren’t starting off slow,” Hinata mumbled when Kageyama pulled away. Hinata placed his hand on Kageyama’s chest, rubbing small circles. Kageyama’s fingers played with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “Do you think we can break the rules again like we did that first time? Do something...reckless,” Hinata asked suggestively. Kageyama gave him a pointed look and shook his head. “Eh it was worth a shot,” Hinata said smiling. Kageyama leaned down to kiss him again, when his phone started vibrating. Confused as to who would be calling him at this late hour, Kageyama stepped back so he could slide his phone out of his pocket. His screen read Yachi and his heart immediately starting beating rapidly, his face blanching as he became really anxious.

            _I already had my daily conversation with her today. I spoke with Aiko only a few hours ago. What could have happened?_

His thoughts went through his mind in a matter of milliseconds. He quickly slid to answer and brought the phone up to his ear.

            “Hello Hitoka? What’s wrong?” Kageyama asked nervously. Hinata looked up at him worriedly.

            “Tobio! It’s-it’s Aiko. She’s- I didn’t know she was allergic, I swear I had no idea. She’s in the hospital and the doctors aren’t telling me anything and I don’t know what to do. They have her on a respirator. You have to come here right away,” Yachi rushed out in a panic. With every word Kageyama’s blood froze further in his veins. He took shallow panicked breaths. Hinata stared up at him with wide concerned eyes.

            “Yachi you need to tell me what happened,” Kageyama said in a direct deep voice that he’d never heard himself use before.

            “Ok, ok. We were eating at this restaurant and Aiko said she wanted to try something new. She ordered some dish and she was eating it fine and then the next thing I knew she couldn’t breathe and her face was swelling up,” Yachi sobbed into the phone. “I don’t know she was allergic, I didn’t know.”

            Kageyama couldn’t see anymore; he could only imagine his daughter, blue and not breathing on the floor, while he was elsewhere completely unawares. He could hear Yachi sobbing on the phone but he felt worlds away. All he could see were big blue eyes slowly loosing their brightness as a final breath left a gasping mouth. He didn’t even realize Hinata had gotten into the car until Hinata was waving for him to get into it.

            “Kageyama get in the car, I’m driving you there. Get the address,” Hinata said stepping out of the car. He put his hand on Kageyama’s forearm. Kageyama looked down at him, eyes wide and scared.

            “Tobio I didn’t know she had never eaten mushrooms before. She just eats everything, I didn’t know,” Yachi continued to cry on the other line. Hinata searched Kageyama’s face. He was staring blankly into space, taking sharp shallow breaths.

            “Kageyama, _the address,_ ” Hinata said again, more forcibly. Kageyama just took rapid, shallow breaths. He tried to open his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Yachi continued to cry on the phone. Frustrated, Hinata grabbed the phone out of Kageyama’s hand.

            “Hello? Yachi right? Can you please tell me the address of the hospital you are at so we can get there?” Hinata said getting back into his car. Kageyama just stood on the sidewalk. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he could barely think. All he could see was Aiko needing him and him not being anywhere near her. Aiko calling out for him, and her calls going unanswered. A face, blue with lack of oxygen, with it’s mouth trying desperately to capture air with no luck. A hand in his, squeezing so tightly it hurt, then slowly loosing pressure until it lay lifeless in his hand. He froze, feeling light headed, not being able to take enough air into his lungs. He thought he might have been hyperventilating but he couldn’t really think clear enough to relax his breathing. He could vaguely hear Hinata calling his name. He could vaguely feel Hinata’s hand on his arm leading him somewhere. He could vaguely feel himself sit down in the passengers seat.

            “Kageyama, I’m driving us to Aiko ok? I need you to buckle up. Kageyama?” Hinata said pulling out the car. Kageyama finally came out of his shock and registered where he was. He pulled the seat belt over himself, settling his hands stiffly on his lap. “Kageyama, she’s going to be ok. She’s at the hospital; there are doctors taking care of her. She’s going to be fine,” Hinata said trying to reassure him as he drove.

            “Phone,” Kageyama croaked finally. “Where’s my phone? You had it,” he said looking at Hinata.

            “Here,” Hinata said picking it up from where he placed it on the dashboard. “You weren’t talking and I needed the address to plug into the GPS.” Kageyama nodded silently, taking the phone from Hinata. He clutched it tightly in his hand, staring blankly out at the road. “It’s...it’s kind of a long drive; a couple of hours at the speed limit. I’ll try to go as fast as possible but... I know this is going to be the opposite of what you want to hear right now, but I need you to relax.” Hinata glanced at him. Kageyama gave him a weak nod.

            “Thank you,” Kageyama whispered. He looked over at Hinata with eyes on the brink of tears. Hinata nodded meekly before looking back at the road, pressing down on the gas. Kageyama turned his head to look out the windshield, ready for a long excruciating ride.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come on guys, i'm a little disapointed in you that you would actually believe that i would hurt that little girl. I like angst not cruelty... but this isnt the end of the angst, no way. its just starting.
> 
> (your commenst have been amazing though)

            Running through the door, Kageyama ran over to the main desk of the hospital. Out of breath already, he stumbled as he approached the desk.

            “Kageyama, Aiko. Where is she? What room is she in?” Kageyama practically shouted at the nurse behind the desk. Looking un-phased, she typed into the computer on front of her. Kageyama could feel his impatience growing with every tap of the keyboard.

            “4th floor, Recovery. Room 472,” she said reading off the screen. Kageyama gave her a hurried thank you as he ran toward the elevator. He pulled out his phone and typed out the room number in a text to Hinata so he could meet him after parking.

            _4 th floor, Recovery. She’s in recovery. She’s ok. _

As soon as the elevator doors opened on the fourth floor he rushed out looking for her room number. He hurried down the hall until he reached the almost end at room 472. He ran through the open door, seeing Aiko sitting up in a big hospital bed with Yachi sitting on the bed with her holding her.

            “Daddy!” Aiko said in a hoarse, but happy voice. She beamed up at him. Kageyama could feel all the tension leave his body as he practically ran and through himself at Aiko, wrapping his arms around her. He was careful not to pull at heart monitor that had been attached to her. He held her against his chest, laying his head on top of hers. He breathed her in, soothing her hair down with his hand. Kissing the top of her head he pulled back so he could look at her. She looked almost completely fine, if just a bit pale. She was smiling up at him like she hadn’t just had a near death experience. Kageyama felt like he could breath for the first time in hours.

            “Hey Belly,” Kageyama said, his voice wavering with emotion. He could feel the hot prickle of tears in his eyes. “You gave daddy a really big scare.”

            “I’m sorry daddy, I didn’t know I was...what was the word?” she said looking at her mother.

            “Allergic,” Yachi said, speaking for the first time since Kageyama had gotten there. He looked at her and she gave a sympathetic smile. He returned it, putting his hand on hers.

            “Yeah, allergic,” Aiko said like she was tasting the word. “The doctor told me I couldn’t eat mushrooms anymore.”

            “I had no idea she was even allergic,” Yachi said shaking her head. Kageyama just squeezed her hand reassuringly.

            “I don’t like them, so I never cook with them. We couldn’t have known,” Kageyama said trying to calm her.

            “I’m ok now daddy,” Aiko said hoarsely. Kageyama looked back her, giving her a warm smile. He pulled her close again, kissing the top of her head.

            “Yes you are,” he breathed. He sat like that for a minute, just holding her close. Kageyama felt so close to feeling like he had lost her and he needed to assure himself that she was fine and alive and not going anywhere. He heard the rapid sounds of approaching steps and turned his head right as Hinata entered the doorway.

            “Is she alright?” he said, breathing heavily looking very concerned. Kageyama moved back slightly so he was no longer obscuring Hinata’s view of Aiko. When he saw her he left out a huge sigh of relief and walked over to the bed.

            “Hinata!” Aiko shouted in her new raspy voice. He smiled down at her and pulled her into a tight hug.

            “I am so glad you’re alright,” he said releasing her from the hug and tucking her hair behind her ears. “Your dad was so worried.”

            “I’m ok now, honest,” she said sincerely. Hinata gave her one last smile before standing up. “I’m going to get some coffees ok?” he said looking at Kageyama as he got up. With a squeeze to Kageyama’s shoulder, he walked out of the room. Kageyama watched him walk out and then turned to see Yachi looking at him with her eyebrows raised. He sighed gestured to her that he would explain later.

            Kageyama talked with Aiko, trying to establish some normalcy. He got her talking bout all the things she’d seen, all the people she met, everything she did over the course of the week. Hearing her talk made Kageyama feel better; as if he could pretend just for a second that they were back at the apartment in their living room instead of in a hospital room.

            “I think you should try to get some sleep Aiko,” Yachi said after a few minutes. She brushed Aiko’s hair back with her hand. Aiko reluctantly nodded, lying down in the bed. “I just need to talk to daddy for a moment, but try to get some rest ok?” she said getting up from the bed and kissing Aiko’s forehead.

            “I’ll come back, but try to sleep ok Belly?” Kageyama said brushing his thumb across her cheek. She nodded sleepily at him as he bent down as kissed forehead. Both her parents turned off the overhead light and walked into the hallway. Closing the door gently behind him, Kageyama then turned to Yachi who had already collapsed into a chair in the small sitting area at the end of the hallway, bent over cradling her face in her hands. He walked over to her and knelt down in front of her seat, rubbing her back comfortingly. He could hear her sobbing into her hands as he tried to console her.

            “It’s ok, she’s ok. You don’t have to cry,” Kageyama said to her. Yachi sat up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Kageyama sat in the chair next to her and took her hand. “What happened?”

            “I-I don’t know,” she sighed. “We were eating at this nice restaurant and she had said she wanted to try something new. Whatever she ordered had mushrooms in it, because she made comment about how she had never eaten them before when she asked me what it was when she pointed it out in her dish. Then next thing I knew, she couldn’t breathe and she was grasping at her throat-” Yachi sobbed cutting herself off. Kageyama rubbed his thumb along her hand. “She turned blue Tobio. That’s how much she couldn’t breathe. She fucking turned _blue._ ”

            “You couldn’t have known, it’s not your fault,” Kageyama said. “If anything, you handled this amazingly. I don’t know how I would have... When you called me I just... froze. I couldn’t speak or move or do anything. I could hear you and Hinata talking to me but all I could think about was Aiko dying and me not getting there in time to...” he let out a heavy breath. “Hinata had to practically force me into the car, I was such a mess.”

            “Hinata, that’s the guy I spoke with on the phone right? The one who came in?” Yachi asked. Kageyama nodded looking up at her. “Did I... were you guys on a date?”

            “...Kind of, yeah,” Kageyama said awkwardly. “He’s um... the guy from the bakery.” Yachi made a realization face as Kageyama tried to look anywhere but at her.

            “Hey guys, sorry that took me so long I had no idea where the cafeteria was,” Hinata said walking over with a drink carrier container with 4 cups. “Here’s your coffee, light and sweet,” he said handing Kageyama one of cups. “And um, Yachi, I didn’t know whether you wanted coffee or tea, or even how you take it, so I got a coffee and a tea and I brought creamer and sugar for you,” Hinata gesturing to two of the cups in the carrier.

            “I’ll take the tea, with a few sugars please,” Yachi said getting up to take one of the cups. “Thank you so much. I um, don’t believe we’ve officially met though,” she said pulling him into a one armed hug.

            “Oh yeah, sorry. I just didn’t want to intrude into the family...” he motioned vaguely toward Aiko’s hospital room. “I’m Hinata by the way.”

            “Yachi,” she said sitting back down. “Thank for the tea, I needed this.”

            “Not a problem at all,” Hinata said sitting down on the chair next to Kageyama. He took his coffee and set the carrier on the chair next to him. “So how is she? I mean she seemed ok now.”

            “She’s alright now. When she came in they had to put her a respirator because she couldn’t breathe. Once they stabilized her breathing they had to put her under and pump her stomach- oh god,” Yachi said rubbing her face. Kageyama really looked at her for the first time since he got there. She had traces of make up on her face that she had either cried or rubbed off. Her hair had been put up in a loose bun and she looked so tired. He put his hand on her shoulder.

            “It’s ok, she’s ok now,” he aid trying to comfort her. She sat up giving him a small smile. 

            “I’m going to go check on her real quick ok,” she said getting up, taking her tea with her into Aiko’s room.

            “Are you ok?” Hinata said once Yachi went into the room. Kageyama turned to him and saw that Hinata was looking at him with concern. He took a deep breath before slouching into his seat. Setting his coffee on his knee, he closed his eyes, just breathing deeply.

            “I’m not sure yet,” he whispered. He turned his head and looked at Hinata, who was trying to give him a supportive smile. Kageyama suddenly felt really guilty. “You... you don’t have to stay here. I know you have work tomorrow and it’s already so late. And I mean... this is a lot, and we haven’t even been dating a full week and... I mean thank you, for everything really, but I understand if you want to just go home,” Kageyama said in a rush, looking away.

            “Don’t be stupid, I’m not going anywhere,” Hinata said smacking the back of his head. “Just because we started dating a week ago doesn’t mean that I started caring about you a week ago, or about Aiko. I’m here, because whether you want to admit it or not, you needed me and I wanted to help you and I care about you and that little girl in there,” he said seriously. Kageyama looked searched Hinata’s eyes finding nothing but honesty. “And I already texted Daichi telling him I wouldn’t be there tomorrow, so you’re stuck with me whether you want me or not.” Hinata looked at him sternly, his tone broking no arguments.

            “Ok...” Kageyama said more than a bit pleased with Hinata’s determination. “I do, um, want you here. I just meant like, I could understand if you wanted to go.”

            “Well I don’t, and I’m staying,” Hinata said firmly, sitting back in his chair. Kageyama just watched him with smirk and an eyebrow raised. Hinata glanced at Kageyama, and tried to hide an embarrassed smile of his own. “What?” he said breaking.

            “Nothing,” Kageyama said shrugging, watching Hinata squirm under his scrutiny. Hinata kept glancing at him until he sighed, leaned forward and gave Kageyama a quick kiss on the mouth. “Thank you,” Kageyama said satisfied, sitting back in his chair.

            “You’re the worst,” he heard Hinata grumble next to him. He just laughed quietly to himself as Yachi came back out.

           “Hey, so she’s asleep in there,” she said sitting down next to Kageyama. “I think she passed out instantly, she was so tired.”

            “You know you should go get some sleep,” Kageyama said. Yachi sighed rolling her cup in her hands. “We’re going to stay here, you go home and get some sleep ok? Come back in the morning.”

            “I- are you sure?” Yachi said looking between Kageyama and Hinata. They nodded at her and she hesitantly got up looking back at Aiko’s room. “Ok... ok yeah. I’m going to get some sleep, and I’ll be back in the morning. Call me if... if anything, ok?” she said getting up. He bent down and gave Kageyama a kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said tilting his chin up to look at her. “And it was nice to meet you, even though... but thank you for everything,” she said to Hinata. He gave her a bright smile and she took her tea and walked down the hallway toward the elevator.

            “Hey so I think I saw a couch in her room, we can go sit there more comfortably if you want?” Hinata said pointing to her room.

            “Yeah sure,” he said getting up. Hinata took the drinker carrier and they quietly walked into Aiko’s room. Setting the drinks on the table, they both walked over to the couch on the far side of the room. Taking the extra pillow at the foot of Aiko’s bed, Kageyama leaned it against the armrest. He shrugged off his jacket and toed off his shoes before lying back on the couch. Hinata removed his jacket and took off his shoes before lying down on top of Kageyama. They adjusted until they were somewhat comfortable, Kageyama laying down his arms wrapped around Hinata, who laid on top of him with his head on his chest, their legs slotted together. It wasn’t long before they both fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how attached some of you guys have become to Aiko. can i just say, that as a writer of a fanfic, creating an OC for said fanfic and then having so many comments be about that OC is like...amazing. It makes me feel like i'm a better writer than i probably am. So thank you!!
> 
> Also this chapter is pretty fluffy but it has things that are important, but i can't say the next chapter will be fluffy...

* * *

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama was tired. He had barely gotten a few hours of sleep; his night was broken up by nightmares that would jar him awake gasping for air. Each time Hinata would calm him down with soft words and light kisses until they both fell back asleep. Kageyama now lay, awake but exhausted listening to Hinata’s soft steady breaths as he lay on his chest. He absentmindedly ran his fingers up and down Hinata’s back as he tried to lull himself back to sleep.

            “You should really try to sleep more,” Hinata mumbled against his chest. Kageyama could feel Hinata moving his arms up into a better position on his chest. Kageyama tilted his head so he could look down at him.

            “Yeah I tried, I can’t sleep,” Kageyama sighed moving his left arm behind his head. Hinata turned his head up so he could see Kageyama’s face. “I didn’t mean to wake you, if I did. You can go back to sleep if you want to.”

            “No it’s ok,” Hinata said running his hand down Kageyama’s side. “Actually I have to pee, I’m going to go find a bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He carefully got up off Kageyama, stretching his back and arms as he walked out of the room. Kageyama sat up on the couch cracking his neck, sore from sleeping awkwardly. He looked over at Aiko’s sleeping form, curled up on tiny on the bed. He stood up pulling on his shoes and quietly walked over to her.

            Her face was blank with sleep to Kageyama’s relief, grateful that she wasn’t plagued with nightmares after what he would consider a traumatic experience. He sat down on the bed, just watching her sleep, softly brushing her hair from her face.

            _She’s ok. I can’t believe I almost lost her. What would I do with out her? I don’t even know who I am without her anymore. The part of me that was a person without a child is so far gone that I don’t even remember him anymore._

He was still sitting there when Hinata came back. Kageyama felt Hinata’s hand rest on his shoulder. He looked up at Hinata who was standing beside him, giving him a soft smile.

            “Here, let’s let her sleep some more, it’s still really early,” Hinata whispered to Kageyama softly. Kageyama nodded, reluctantly stepping away from Aiko and followed Hinata to the hallway sitting area, leaving the door slightly ajar. They collapsed into the chairs, still sore from sleeping uncomfortably. They stretched out their arms and legs trying to shake out the tiredness from their muscles.

            “Hey thanks for staying with me,” Kageyama said turning toward Hinata. “I know what you said last night and everything, but you seriously didn’t have to. But I appreciate that you did.” Hinata gave him a warm smile, placing his hand on Kageyama’s cheek.

            “You are so cute and so dumb,” Hinata said affectionately. Kageyama grunted in confusion. “Look, I like you a lot, but if we are going to make this work you need to just accept that I’m just going to do things for because I want to, not because I feel obligated or to get some thanks or praise later.”

            “Um, ok,” Kageyama said confused. “I understand, I think.”

            “Good,” Hinata said giving Kageyama’s face a light slap. He sat back in his chair, and stretched out his legs, slapping his feet flat on the floor. Kageyama watched him sit restlessly in his seat.

            “Do you think there’s an empty room with a bed we can sneak into?” Kageyama said looking down the hall.

            “Hospital sex right? Very Grey’s Anatomy,” he said suggestively at Kageyama. “I’m down for that.”

            “No,” Kageyama said exasperated. “...Though it’s a thought,” he said glancing at Hinata, “but I meant sleep. Like for an hour, in a bed.”

            “Oh, ok we could do that too,” Hinata said shrugging. “Slow, we’re going slow.”

            “Yeah,” Kageyama said, “also I haven’t showered, plus Aiko might wake up at any point so we don’t know how much time we would have to...” he made a suggestive hand motion.

            “I can be quick,” Hinata whispered ghosting his fingers along Kageyama’s arm, hovering his lips on his neck. Kageyama shuddered, turning his head towards Hinata’s. Their lips touched for a brief moment, as Hinata brought his hand up to Kageyama’s neck to pull him closer. Kageyama had just started moving his hand up Hinata’s chest when they heard the soft “Daddy?” they pulled them apart.

            “Not quick enough,” Kageyama whispered pulling away. They straighten up, wiping their mouths as they walked into Aiko’s room. She was sitting up in the bed, rubbing her closed sleepy eyes, her hair all askew sticking up in all directions.

            “Hey Belly,” Kageyama said sitting on the bed in front of her. “Did you sleep ok?” she nodded sleepily. Aiko tried to look at him, but she couldn’t force her tired eyes open. “How are you feeling?” he asked brushing her hair out of her face. She answered by way of ignoring the question and falling back against her pillow. Kageyama huffed, placing a small kiss on her forehead. He turned around to see Hinata standing at the foot of the bed, staring amusedly at him. “What?”

            “Nothing, you guys are just really cute,” Hinata said shrugging. “How is she?”

            “Um, well asleep for now, which means that she’s fine because if there’s two things Aiko loves to do: it’s sleep and eat,” Kageyama said quietly getting up. “So hopefully she just sleeps so-”

            “Hinata?” Aiko’s small raspy voice said. Kageyama turned and saw Aiko sitting up blinking sleepily at Hinata, who was looking both surprised and happy.

            “Yeah?” he croaked walking over to her and sitting in front of her on the bed. Aiko grabbed his hand in her tiny one and pulled him towards her, leading him to sit with his back against the pillows. She then crawled onto his lap and laid her head back against his chest, moving his arms so he was holding her in place. Conscious of her teeny sleeping body and the heart rate monitor on her finger, Hinata gingerly toed off his shoes and moved so he was more comfortably seated on the hospital bed with Aiko in his arms. He looked up at Kageyama who was staring at him with a look of astonishment.

            “That’s... that’s,” Kageyama stuttered watching Aiko now sleeping in Hinata’s arms. “She must really like you.” Hinata smiled down at her.

            “Good,” Hinata said smiling down at the small child in his lap. “Because I really like her.”

* * *

 

            That was how Yachi found them, over an hour later. Hinata was holding a sleeping Aiko on his lap and Kageyama had pulled a chair up close to him and they were talking softly. They almost didn’t know Yachi had come in until she said good morning.

            “Hey Hitoka,” Kageyama said greeting her as she walked over.

            “Hey guys,” she whispered sitting on the edge of the bed. “How is she? Did she sleep ok?” she tucked an errant lock of hair behind Aiko’s ear.

            “She’s ok, just very tired,” Hinata whispered. Yachi gave him heartfelt smile as she took one of Aiko’s tiny hands in her fingers.

            “I spoke with her doctor about half an hour ago,” Kageyama said to Yachi. “She said that when she wakes up we can take her home, they just needed to keep her under observation because of the procedures they had to do on her. But the nurses were going to come in at 8 to do a final check on her.”

            “Oh ok, good,” Yachi said. “I was so worried.” Kageyama reached over and rubbed her back comfortingly.

            “Mommy?” Aiko murmured sleepily. She blinked her eyes open looking over at Yachi, twisting to wake up in Hinata’s grasp.

            “Hey sweetheart, I’m here,” Yachi cooed softly. She brushed her hand down Aiko’s cheek. Aiko turned her face to see her. “How are you?”

            “Better,” she sighed leaning her head back against Hinata’s chest. Her voice was still raspy from when they had to pump her stomach, but Kageyama thought that besides that she looked completely fine. “When can we go home?”

            “As soon as a nurse makes sure you’re all ok,” Kageyama said giving her a sympathetic smile.

            “I’m going to go find a nurse ok?” Yachi said getting up and walking out of the room.

            “Daddy, are we going home after this?” Aiko asked tiredly. Kageyama nodded, brushing back her hair with his fingers. “I left all my designs in mommy’s room, we can’t leave with out them.”

            “Of course not Belly,” Kageyama said. “We’re going to go get all your stuff, and you’ll get to say goodbye to mommy.”  Aiko nodded gratefully. “We have to remember to get that nice coat you liked from last year that you left at mommy’s place since it’ll be cold by the time mommy comes back,” he added as an afterthought mostly to himself.

            “But it’s summer now,” Aiko said confused. She tilted her head up at Hinata who looked down at her at shrugged.

            “Yeah now, but when mommy comes back from London in a few months, it’ll be cold and you’re going to want your coat,” Kageyama said obviously. He looked at Hinata who was starring at Aiko. Her face was contorted in disbelief and betrayal.

            “I wont see mommy for months?” Aiko trembled, her eyes tearing up. Kageyama stared at her in shock realizing what he had just disclosed unknowingly. He frantically glanced up at Hinata who shared the same wide-eyed nervous expression. Aiko started to silently cry in Hinata’s arms, turning away from Kageyama and curling up to Hinata’s chest.

            “Hello everyone, I’m here to do the final check up on Aiko so we can clear her to leave,” said a nurse who walked in followed by Yachi. Kageyama and Hinata looked down at Aiko who was trying to wipe her face of tears, sitting up in Hinata’s lap. “Ok Aiko, I need to check a few things,” the nurse said sliding over a freestanding tray-table that had a few medical instruments on it. Aiko nodded as Hinata lifted her off his lap and placed her on the bed so he wouldn’t be in the way of the check up. He got up; slipping on his shoes but stayed there next to her since Aiko didn’t want let go of his hand.

            Kageyama watched as Aiko held onto Hinata as the nurse went through her checklist. He felt horrible that he told Aiko before Yachi could have, and it felt worse that she cried.

            “Hey is Aiko ok? She was fine when I left, but now it looks like she was crying,” Yachi whispered to Kageyama. He swallowed nervously trying not to make eye contact with her.

            “I may have... accidently, told Aiko that you were going to London for a few months,” Kageyama whispered back. He glanced up at Yachi who was looking at him furious. He felt the guilt pooling in his gut.

            “You did what?” Yachi said through gritted teeth. “I hadn’t told her told her yet. I was going to yesterday, but she ended up in the fucking hospital.”

            “How was I supposed to know you didn’t tell her!?” Kageyama said in an excited whisper, growing annoyed.

            “You fucking ask!” Yachi whispered heatedly.

            “Um, guys?” Hinata said gently grabbing both of their attentions. They turned to look at him helping Aiko get her shoes back on. “The nurse cleared her so we can leave now.”

            “Great,” Yachi said picking Aiko up once she had her shoes on. “Lets go.” She walked angrily out of the room carrying Aiko not even bothering to wait for Kageyama. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

            “I take it Yachi was angry with you,” Hinata said lightly. Kageyama looked at him through his fingers.

            “Yeah, a little bit,” Kageyama said putting his hands down and standing up. “I didn’t know she didn’t tell her. I wouldn’t have said anything otherwise.” Hinata patted his arm.

            “I believe you,” he said as they walked out of the room. Kageyama rubbed the back of his neck.

            “Now she’s going to be mad at me for the rest of the day,” Kageyama said exasperated as they walked to the elevator.

            “Which ‘she’?” Hinata asked pressing the down button.

            “Both,” Kageyama said. Hinata gave him a sympathetic pat as they got into the elevator. “Whatever, it’s not like Yachi hasn’t been super mad at me before. Once in college we got into an argument about, I don’t know, something stupid like whether we should spend the a long weekend at my apartment or hers or something, I don’t remember but it was stupid. Anyway, obviously it escalated to this ridiculous point where we’re yelling and screaming and it’s like a completely different argument now, and it was like... bad. Like name calling, low blows, break up threats kind of bad. She wouldn’t talk to me for like 3 days afterward. But then we were together for another year after so...” he shrugged indignantly.  “She said I was being an asshole, which might have been true, but like, it totally wasn’t true. But whatever, she got over that and she’ll get over this.”

            “...Ok...” Hinata said slowly as they exited the elevator. “But that was an argument as young adults, and not parents. This is about her daughter. There completely different parts of her life.”

            “I mean, I guess but also like she should have told her,” Kageyama said stressing his point. “Her plan was probably to tell Aiko at the last possible minute and then saddle me with a sad child for 3 months. She could have at least told her early in the week so it’s not like ‘yeah this week was fun but I’m leaving the country, see you never’ you know? Fine I shouldn’t have said anything but also like, she _should_ have said _something_.”

            “I see your point,” Hinata said as they exited the main lobby. When they were outside they saw Yachi kneeling in front of a sniffling Aiko, talking to her quietly and soothing her. As they walked over Yachi saw them and stood up taking Aiko’s hand and frowning at Kageyama.

            “I’m going to drive her home so she can get her things. You can meet us there,” she said in a clear voice looking between Kageyama and Hinata. “Aiko wants us all to all have breakfast together before I leave for London, so we’re going to go out after we pack up her stuff.”  She then leaned in closely to Kageyama. “Don’t think I’m not thoroughly pissed off at you,” she whispered aggressively. “But for Aiko’s sake, we are going to have that much needed discussion in private.” With that she turned, picked up Aiko and walked away carrying her still sniffling child. Hinata shivered as he watched her walk into the parking lot.

            “Damn, she’s scary when she’s mad,” Hinata said looking up at Kageyama who was scowling watching Yachi’s retreating figure.

            “You have no idea,” he murmured as he started walking toward Hinata’s car.

           


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love arguements. this is just a taste of future, worser angst.
> 
> also Hinata would make such a good dad though right?

            Kageyama was incredibly hungry and incredibly tense. He sat in a small booth between the wall and Hinata, across from his daughter as Yachi pointedly ignored him from next to her. He was trying to focus on the menu in front of him, but all he could concentrate on was that Yachi was disregarding him. Hinata kept trying to make mindless conversation to fill the silence; commenting on the coffee, asking Aiko what she wanted to eat, talking to her about the design convention. He tried anything to distract her from the fact that her parents weren’t speaking and were both quite angry.

            “Hey are you guys ready to order?” the waitress asked coming over to their table. She pulled out a pad and pen and looked around the table.

            “Yes I’m ready,” Aiko said happily. “I’ll have the- mommy what did you say this says?” she said whispering to her mom pointing at the menu.

            “Chocolate chip pancakes,” Yachi said tersely.

            “The chocolate chip pancakes, and it can’t have mushrooms,” Aiko added seriously. The waitress gave her a curious look.

            “I-I’ll make sure of that,” she said writing it down. She looked around taking everyone’s orders. “Ok, it’ll be out soon,” she said taking the menus. As soon as Kageyama and Yachi had nothing to busy themselves with, their contempt for each other became even more pronounced.

            They were both looking pointedly in opposite directions. Yachi was tapping her fingers rhythmically on the table while Kageyama was jiggling his leg. Hinata sat uncomfortably at the table, trying to keep Aiko preoccupied.

            “Oh look, Aiko,” Hinata said reaching into his pocket. “I grabbed a pen from my car. When my sister was little she used to like to draw on the paper placemats. I thought you might want to also,” he said handing her a pen.

            “Yes, thank you!” she said excitedly taking the pen from him. She eagerly started drawing on her placemat, successfully distracted from the growing tension between her parents. Hinata sat back, hands fiddling with his coffee mug. Every so often Kageyama would let out a heavy sigh, each time earning him a glare from Yachi. Hinata glanced between them watching Yachi toss him a glare each time Kageyama would move. On one particularly heavy sigh Hinata saw Yachi snap.

            “Could you please stop sighing!?” Yachi exclaimed annoyed. Kageyama stopped moving and looked over at her incredulously. Hinata sunk into his seat watching Aiko making sure she was still absorbed in her drawing.

            “What?” Kageyama bit out annoyed. “I’m just breathing, let me breathe.”

            “No, you’re not just breathing, you keep,” she mimicked an exaggerated sigh, “sighing like that, and it’s getting on my last nerve, so stop.”

            “Oh now? Just _now_ I’m getting on your last nerve?” Kageyama accused. “Because I’ve been,” he copied her exaggerated sigh, “ _breathing_ like that for the past fifteen minutes. But you were just going to wait until the last possible moment to tell me that it annoyed you right?”

            “Well I didn’t realize you were going to be doing that for fifteen minutes,” Yachi said scathingly.

            “Maybe you shouldn’t wait too long before telling someone something,” Kageyama said accusingly. Hinata watched as Yachi’s eyes grew wide in fury.

            “Maybe it’s none of your business when I decide to do something,” she said through gritted teeth.

            “Uh, I think it is when it concerns me,” Kageyama said furiously.

            “Hey guys why don’t we-” Hinata tried to say, getting cut off.

            “It might _concern_ you, but it’s still my decision to make,” Yachi said angrily.

            “It might be your _decision_ , but it affects me,” Kageyama said completely livid.

            “Um guys, let’s just-” Hinata tried again. He was interrupted again.

            “I’m tired of you doing and saying things and not thinking about the consequences,” Yachi said crossly.

            “ _I’m the one who doesn’t think about the consequences_?” Kageyama said furiously. “Me? Are you out of your mind? You’re the poster child for not thinking things through.”

            “I don’t think you should be doing thi-” Hinata tried again eyeing Aiko who was thankfully still unaware of her parents argument in only the way a small child could be.

            “Oh you really want to have this conversation now?” Yachi asked mockingly. “We’re in public, at a diner, in front of your daughter and your boyfriend. Try to control yourself.”

            “You control yourself,” Kageyama said pointing aggressively at Yachi. His sudden movement caused him to spill the glass of water in front of him effectively soaking Aiko’s placemat drawing that she had been working on the whole time.

            “Oh no!” she cried trying to pick it up off the table to salvage it, but it was too late. It had been completely soaked through and the thin paper was already falling apart under the weight of the water. “No no no,” Aiko whispered, upset that the drawing she had been working on had been destroyed.

            “Oh Aiko I’m so sorry,” Kageyama said throwing napkins on the table trying to wipe the water up. Yachi tried to dry up the water on the table with him as Hinata got up to get more napkins from the waitress. “I didn’t mean to spill it. It was an accident.”

            “Daddy didn’t mean to ruin your drawing with his carelessness,” Yachi said drying up the water on the table. Kageyama sent her a glare as he dried what he could.

            “It’s-it’s ok,” she said defeated crumbling up the wet placemat. Kageyama’s heart broke watching his small child look so upset. He had become so distracted at being angry with Yachi that he wasn’t even paying attention.

            “Here, I have more napkins,” Hinata said placing it of the table to soak up the last of the water.  “And look Aiko, the waitress gave me a bunch of paper placemats for you to draw on.” He dried off the table and placed the paper placemats in front of her.

            “Thank you Hinata,” Aiko sniffled, sending him a watery smile. Kageyama looked away, feeling slightly ashamed. Aiko started her new drawing with fervor and was successfully distracted again. Kageyama and Yachi sat in silence again, but this time Hinata did not try to fill it with chatter. When the waitress walked over with their food, Hinata and Aiko dug in with relish but Kageyama sat picking at his breakfast no longer hungry. By the time everyone had finished eating, Kageyama felt suffocated and needed to leave.

            “Excuse for a second, I’m going to go pay,” he said indicating to Hinata that he wanted to get out of the booth. Hinata stepped out, and Kageyama got out of the booth mumbling thanks to Hinata and walked toward the counter with the register. As he paid he tried to calm down.

            _Tensions are just high because of what happened to Aiko. We’ll be fine. We just need to calm down and talk. It’s not like I meant to tell Aiko before Yachi was ready to, but she really should have not waited until the last moment. And now I have a migraine. Fantastic._

When he finished paying, Kageyama walked back to the table just as they were all getting out of the booth. Hinata took Aiko’s hand before anyone else could grab it and started to lead her out the door, just before turning around quickly and gesturing between Yachi and Kageyama. He mouthed to them to “talk” and then walked Aiko out of the diner.

            “I guess we should talk,” Kageyama said seriously to Yachi. She looked up and him and nodded walking over to the other side of her car, just far enough from Hinata’s car that they could talk quietly and not be heard.

            “Look,” Kageyama began exhaling, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything to Aiko before you. I know that, but I wasn’t trying to undermine you or anything. I was just thinking out loud and it kind of just came out.”

            “I know,” Yachi said sighing. “I kind of over reacted. I’m still kind of a mess from yesterday and I know you’re kind of messed up about it too. So let’s just forgive and forget. Ok? I don’t like fighting with you and I don’t want to leave on a bad note,” she said looking up at him apologetically.

            “Yeah I agree,” Kageyama said pulling her into a hug. “We probably need to have a more in depth conversation about... a lot. But not now ok?”

            “You’re right,” Yachi said pulling back. “I’m sorry and I love you ok? You’re a great dad and I know there’s a ton of stress on you, and we were both really stressed especially today. So, lets just go back to being... us, ok?”

            “Yeah, ok. We’re us,” Kageyama said giving her a small smile.

            “Good,” she said smiling back at him. “Also, can I just say great job on Hinata by the way? Like honestly, what the hell? Where did you even find him? He’s like a little drop of sunshine.”

            “T-thanks,” Kageyama said bashfully. He looked over Yachi’s car into Hinata’s where he sat talking happily with Aiko. Kageyama smiled at the sight, his chest constricting with happiness. “He’s... almost too perfect actually.”

            “Yeah, like he’s super nice and incredibly caring _and_ he’s amazing with Aiko who loves him to pieces, plus he’s like a total babe,” Yachi said craning her neck over her car to look at him.

            “I don’t deserve him,” Kageyama said solemnly. In his periphery he could she Yachi quickly look at him. He glanced at her and saw her quizzical look. “I’m... complicated. He deserves ‘batteries included’, but I’m ‘some assembly required’,” he said looking down at Yachi.

            “Some people like to put the parts together themselves,” Yachi said softly.

            “Yeah, well... I think I’m missing some pieces,” Kageyama said despondently. Yachi looked at him with concern but said no more. “You should go say goodbye to Aiko,” Kageyama said to her. She nodded and they both walked over to Hinata’s car. As they approached the car Hinata made eye contact with Kageyama before looking between them questioningly. Kageyama gave him a slight nod and an “it’s all ok” gesture.

            “Hey Aiko, I just wanted to say goodbye,” Yachi said sitting next to her in the car. Kageyama caught Hinata’s attention and nudges his head away from the car. Hinata got up and followed Kageyama a little ways away.

            “I just wanted to give them some privacy,” Kageyama said as he came to a stop a few feet away in the parking lot, Hinata nodding agreeing.

            “So you and Yachi...” Hinata said gingerly. “I mean I could understand if it’s none of my business.”

            “No its fine. We’re good. We argue, you know, we’re parents. I think we were just at each others throats because we were stressed and raw nerves and all that,” Kageyama said folding his arms. Hinata nodded looking off at Yachi and Aiko. Kageyama stared at his profile; a feeling of guilt for dragging Hinata into his drama and appreciation for Hinata being there made his stomach twist uncomfortably. “Are we... um... are we ok?” he asked suddenly feeling uncertain. Hinata looked up at him confused.

            “Yeah,” he said naturally. Kageyama tried to give him a small smile but it came out as more of a slight frown. Hinata looked up at him with masked concern. Kageyama bent down and placed a chaste kiss lips.

            “Thank you for being here. I know this was a lot all at once but, I don’t know how I could have done it without you,” Kageyama whispered tenderly touching his nose along Hinata’s.

            “I don’t mind,” Hinata murmured back, lifting his head to look into Kageyama’s eyes.

            “Daddy!” Aiko shouted getting Kageyama’s attention. He looked over at her waving at him. He and Hinata walked over to his car just and Yachi was getting out.

            “I’ll see you Tobio,” Yachi said putting her hand on his cheek. “I already told Aiko that we’re going to Skype. We’ll talk soon ok?”

            “Of course,” Kageyama said pulling her into a hug. “Have a safe trip.” She pulled back giving him a warm smile.

            “Thank you Hinata, for everything,” she said turning toward him. She pulled him forward into a tight hug. “I’ll see you when I come back and we’ll meet properly.” Hinata looked at her wide-eyed, and nodded his head. “Bye,” she said one final time before walking towards her car.

            “Daddy, I’m ready to go home,” Aiko sighed from the back seat as they got into the car. Kageyama looked at her in the rearview mirror as he got into the passenger seat.

            “Me too Belly. Me too.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know if i've mentioned this before but the amount of Kudos is staggering, thank you all so much. all of the comments have been incredible and you guys are great. 
> 
> -there is a time skip in this chapter so if it's confusing that's why-
> 
> *warning* relatively graphic sexual situations

            “Hey Kageya- whoa you look tired,” Tanaka said first thing Monday morning when Kageyama shuffled into work. He sent Tanaka an annoyed scowl.

            “Thanks,” he said sarcastically. “Hello to you too, good morning.” He stalked off into his workroom and sat down in his desk chair. Rubbing his palms on his eyes he breathed heavily.

            “Dude, are you alright?” Tanaka said knocking on the door. Kageyama sighed and looked over at him in the doorway.

            “Yeah I’m just...” Kageyama began. He squeezed his eyes shut with a sharp headache pain. “No not really, actually. I barely slept.”

            “Why, what’s wrong?” Tanaka asked concernedly.

            “Friday, Aiko had a severe allergic reaction to some mushrooms in her dinner. Yachi called me panicking telling me she was rushed to the hospital because she was turning blue because she couldn’t breathe. Hinata had to drive me to the hospital cause I was just... out of it. Aiko was put on a respirator and had her stomach pumped and had to stay over night at the hospital,” Kageyama sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. “And now I haven’t gotten a moment of sleep since then from the stress.” He looked up at Tanaka who was staring at him horrified.

            “Oh my god, is Aiko ok?” Tanaka asked worriedly. “Why didn’t you call me I would have driven you there if you were so messed up?”

            “Yeah she’s fine now. She’s getting an EpiPen just in case. I alerted her daycare and everything. But like, that Saturday, she was stuffing her face with pancakes, she’s fine, ” Kageyama said sitting forward on his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. “And it was no big deal, I was with Hinata anyway.”

            “Oh ok good I’m glad,” Tanaka said breathing easier. “Wait, did you say you were with Hinata anyway?” Kageyama looked at him frowning.

            “Ok, just get it out now,” Kageyama said waving him on. “Before you ask: yes we were on a date, yes this is recent only since last Saturday, and no I wasn’t going to tell you.” Tanaka just smiled at him excitedly.

            “I knew it was just a matter of time,” he said wiggling his eyebrows. “Though I thought I would’ve happened sooner. Wait here. Kuroo!” Tanaka called out the doorway.

            “What?” Kuroo’s disembodied voice answered.

            “Come here!” Tanaka yelled back. Kageyama hear Kuroo’s workroom door opening and the sounds of steps coming down the hall.

            “Yeah what’s up?” Kuroo said leaning on the door.

            “Kageyama’s finally going out with that baker guy,” Tanaka said smugly.

            “Oh yeah I knew that last week,” Kuroo said shrugging. Tanaka gaped at him.

            “You told him but not me?” he asked looking offended.

            “What? He figured it out,” Kageyama said swiveling in his chair to face his desk. He could hear Tanaka grumbling all the way to his workroom.

* * *

 

**_one month later_ **

            “Daddy...daddy!” Aiko said forcefully trying to get Kageyama’s attention. He had zoned out while doing the dishes. He turned to where Aiko was sitting on the counter next to the sink.

            “Sorry Belly,” Kageyama apologized. “Can you repeat what you said?” he asked going back to the dishes.

            “She said that when Suga told everyone a month ago that they couldn’t eat mushrooms there and had to be extra careful because Aiko has an allergy, Emi told her she couldn’t watch Alice in Wonderland because there are mushrooms in the movie and she would die,” Hinata said from his place next to Kageyama drying dishes. “But they watched it today and she lived to tell the tale,” he said scrunching his nose jokingly at Aiko who giggled back at him.

            “Oh ok well, that’s good,” Kageyama said smiling at her. “No stupid mushroom is going to take my Belly down.” Aiko beamed up at her dad giggling shaking her head. Kageyama finished the last dish and turned off the faucet. “Ok, bath time,” he said wiping his hands on the back of his pants. He helped Aiko off the counter and she ran toward the bathroom.

            “Babe, are you ok?” Hinata asked watching Kageyama rub his eyes.

            “Yeah I’m fine, I’m just really tired,” he said giving Hinata a small smile. “And I have fucking Tsukishima coming in tomorrow for his tattoo after-”

            “Five consultations, yeah I know,” Hinata said smirking. “It’s just a dinosaur tattoo, how complex does it need to be?”

            “Apparently, very,” Kageyama said frowning. “And it doesn’t help that every time he’s there, Kuroo suddenly needs to talk to me.”

            “Ah ex-lovers,” Hinata said facetiously, “so much drama.” Kageyama snorted at his stupid boyfriend.

            “Daddy!” Aiko called out to him from the bathroom.

            “I’ll be back in like ten minutes,” Kageyama said leaning down and kissing Hinata on the lips. He went to pull away but Hinata pulled the collar of his shirt down, keeping their lips connecting. “Hi-Hinata,” Kageyama mumbled trying to move his face. “Gosh, let me at least put Aiko to bed first,” he said trying to look mad, but his smirk coming through.

            “You’re right,” Hinata said breathing against Kageyama’s mouth. “Sorry, you’re just so irresistible. I’m just bewitched by your charm,” he teased.

            “Shut up,” Kageyama said shoving his giggling boyfriend away. “You’re such a dork,” he said over his shoulder as he walked away. Giving Aiko her bath and going through their nightly ritual seemed to take twice as long. Kageyama had to wrangle her out of the bath and then once she was out it took forever to get through all the knots in her hair. By the time he had finished reading her a story and she was nodding off to sleep, Kageyama was exhausted himself. Shuffling over to his couch he flopped down next to Hinata who was sitting watching TV quietly.

            “Tired?” Hinata whispered against Kageyama temple as he laid his head against Hinata’s chest. Kageyama nodded, dangling his feet over the armrest of the couch. “If you’re too tired we can just go to sleep?”

            “No no, I promised you sex and you’re going to get sex,” Kageyama said sleepily. Hinata huffed watching Kageyama’s eyes drift close.

            “Oh wow, I love this new form of sex called ‘my gigantic boyfriend fell asleep on me and now I’m trapped under him’, it’s very kinky,” Hinata joked brushing aside Kageyama’s fringe.

            “See? Who says you need toys to be kinky?” Kageyama mumbled sleepily. Hinata laughed as he watched Kageyama’s face.

            “Come on Mr. Kinky, lets get you to a bed,” Hinata said pushing Kageyama up. Leading him to his bedroom he managed to wake Kageyama enough to go through the process of getting ready for sleep. Kageyama lay down on his bed, closing his eyes and feeling the pull of sleep. He felt Hinata’s weight dip the bed a few moments later.

            “Hey move over a bit, you’re using all the blanket,” Hinata whispered in his ear. Kageyama cracked one eye open to look at Hinata lying down close to him. He grunted releasing some of the blanket. Hinata gratefully took it and cuddled closer to Kageyama. Lying down on his stomach, Hinata placed his head on Kageyama’s bare chest and wrapped his left arm around Kageyama, intertwining their legs. “Mmm, better,” Hinata hummed contently nuzzling his face on Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama barely registered Hinata’s goodnight before he had completely fallen asleep.

* * *

 

            Kageyama woke up, gasping for air and clutching his neck. He was sitting up in his bed, covered in cold sweat unable to get enough air in his lungs. Trying to take deep, fortifying breaths, Kageyama leaned forwards on his bent his legs putting his head between his knees.

            “Babe, what’s wrong?” Hinata slurred with sleep. Kageyama could feel his warm hands running up his spine. “Was it another nightmare?”

            “Yeah,” Kageyama breathed. He tilted to look at Hinata in the darkness. “Sorry I woke you, I didn’t mean to. Go back to sleep.” He turned to face him, caressing Hinata’s face gently with his hand.

            “No it’s ok,” Hinata said sitting up next to Kageyama. “I’ll stay up if you stay up,” he said rubbing his eyes of sleep. “Do you want to talk about it? The nightmare?”

            “Not really,” Kageyama mumbled moving his hand. He felt Hinata lean his body weight on his side, and he wrapped his arm around him kissing the top of his head.

            “You should try to go back to sleep,” Hinata muttered to Kageyama’s skin. “It was just a dream.”

            “I’m not tired,” Kageyama said quietly drawing circles with his fingers on Hinata’s skin. Hinata tilted his head up and pressed his lips at the base of Kageyama’s jaw.

            “Then lets do something to tire you out,” he whispered hotly on his neck. Hinata pressed hot open mouth kisses to Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama moaned quietly as the feeling of Hinata’s hand moving down his chest. Hinata gently pushed him down onto the bed, kissing down his neck to his chest the whole way down.

            “Hinata,” Kageyama moaned softly trying to pull him up. Hinata understood what he wanted and came up and connected their mouths. Hinata worked the kiss nice and slow, taking advantage of their sleepy states. Straddling Kageyama, Hinata grinded his hips down slowly onto Kageyama’s lap, matching the pace to the leisurely kiss. Sucking on Kageyama’s bottom lip, Hinata moved his hands down to Kageyama’s nipples. Bringing his mouth down to where his fingers were, Hinata licked each of Kageyama’s nipples. Kageyama whimpered under Hinata’s actions trying to keep himself from crying out. Hinata’s hand and mouth made their way down under the sheets to Kageyama’s tenting briefs.  Mouthing at Kageyama’s straining cock, Hinata worked the hem down pulling the briefs all the way off. Kageyama pulled the sheets off, moving them off to the side so he could see Hinata better. Hinata moved Kageyama’s legs apart bending over his groin. He mouth at the head of Kageyama’s cock, his tongue swirling the tip.

            “I love this fucking piercing,” Hinata laughed softly as he touched the top of his finger to the small barbell coming from the tip of Kageyama’s dick. Kageyama sucked in a sharp breath as Hinata swirled his tongue around the piercing. Hinata wrapped his mouth around Kageyama and started a slow rhythm. Working his tongue and hand on Kageyama’s throbbing dick, Hinata pushed him further and further towards the edge. He pulled his mouth off for a second and scrambled up the bed to reach over into Kageyama’s night table drawer and grab the jar of lube he kept there. Hinata dipped his left middle finger in, setting the jar on the table and scooted back down between Kageyama’s knees. Placing his mouth back on Kageyama he slowly worked his tongue on the underside of his cock as Hinata eased his finger into Kageyama’s entrance. Gradually working his finger in further, he crooked his finger upwards until he found the spot that made Kageyama tense up and moan. Pleased with his reaction, Hinata grinned around Kageyama’s dick and picked up speed; moving his head up and down and rubbing Kageyama’s prostrate bringing him to a crescendo.

            “Hin-Hinata, I’m- I’m,” Kageyama tried to get out as he reached down to place his hand atop Hinata’s head. Hinata only moved faster, taking Kageyama as deep in his mouth as he could. Kageyama tipped over the edge, coming in Hinata’s mouth with a guttural groan, tightening his hold on Hinata’s hair. Hinata milked him out of his orgasm, withdrawing his mouth and finger once Kageyama finished coming. Getting off the bed, Hinata walked quietly into the hallway. Out of the corner of his eye, Kageyama could see through the open bedroom door the light of the bathroom spill into hallway. Still regaining his breathing Kageyama laid there, naked and blissed out when Hinata walked back in, closed the door gently behind him. Hinata picked up Kageyama’s briefs from the floor and tossed them at him. Kageyama sluggishly pulled them back on, as Hinata put the lube away.

            “Sorry, I always have to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth after I swallow,” Hinata whispered as he crawled back into the bed pulling the sheets back over them. “Once, in college I didn’t and I got a horrible sore throat. I thought it was Strep it was that bad. It was literally the only time i've ever gotten a sore throat in my life.”   

            “Oh whoa, do what you have to do man,” Kageyama said sleepily pulling Hinata close. Kageyama turned to lie on his side so he could spoon Hinata from behind. “Thank you, I feel much better now,” Kageyama whispered kissing the back of Hinata’s neck.  

            “Mhm, no problem babe,” Hinata mumbled placing his arm over Kageyama’s wrapped around him. “Go back to sleep now, no more nightmares.” Kageyama smiled softly into Hinata’s neck, feeling much better as he drifted off to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual the comments have been awesome, and i die every time i read them. you guys are the best. 
> 
> HOW ABOUT THAT SEASON 2 HQ!!??? IT WAS SO GOOD AND I'M P U M P E D U P 
> 
> *warning* mild sexual situations and discussion of sexual kinks

            “Well look at that, you didn’t fuck it up,” Tsukishima said looking at the reflection of his new tattoo. “It actually looks really, really good,” he added turning back to look at Kageyama who was frowning as he put away his equipment.

            “I always do good work,” he grumbled violently throwing away his gloves in the trash. Tsukishima smirked turning back to the mirror to admire it some more.

            “Hey Tsukki,” Kuroo called from where he was leaning on the doorway. “Can I see your new ink?” Tsukishima scowled at him, and looked over at Kageyama completely ignoring him. “Come on baby, don’t be so mean,” Kuroo whined.

            “I’m wearing short sleeves, it’s displayed for the world to see. I’m sure you can use your eyes like everyone else,” Tsukishima said and he handed Kageyama his tip. Kageyama gratefully took the rather large tip, stuffing it into back pocket as he tried to ignore the childish discussion between the two guys.

            “You’re so mean to me, Tsukki,” Kuroo said feigning heartbreak.

            “That’s cause you’re annoying,” Tsukishima said gathering his things to leave. He pushed past Kuroo in the doorway.

            “How about I buy you dinner to make up for it?” Kageyama could hear Kuroo saying as he chased after Tsukishima. Kageyama sighed happily, a great weight leaving his shoulders and he realized he no longer had to deal with Tsukishima. He checked his phone to look at the texts he had gotten during the two-hour tattooing session.

**> Hey, I’m coming on my lunch. 1 ok?**

**> you didn’t answer so I’m coming anyway**

**> I’m bringing you a sandwich from the shop you like**

**> you’re not answering so I’m going to get you the worst sandwich they have**

**> it just occurred to me that you’re probably in a tattooing session and that’s why you’re not answering. sorry babe, I’m getting you the sandwich you like**

Kageyama just rolled his eyes and the myriad of texts he got from Hinata in that short two hour time period. He checked the time; 1:22 pm. Hinata must have been waiting for him. Feeling guilty for making his boyfriend wait, Kageyama quickly walked toward the front area where, and just like he suspected, Hinata was waiting for him, food in hand. He had been talking to the person who had been working the front desk at the time; Tanaka.

            “Hey, sorry. I didn’t see your texts until just now. I was in with Tsukishima,” Kageyama said walking over to Hinata and placing a light kiss of his forehead.

            “It’s fine, Tanaka and I were chatting,” Hinata said gesturing to Tanaka with his chin.

            “Yeah, I got to hang out with your boyfriend,” Tanaka said suggestively. Kageyama just gave him a dirty look as he turned to lead Hinata back toward their break room.

            “Sorry, to make you wait,” Kageyama said as he sat down at the small table. Hinata sat down across from him, placing the bag of their food on the table.

            “Dude, it’s totally fine,” Hinata said smiling at him. “The best part of owning your own business is no one asking you were you’ve been.” Kageyama chuckled at him as he took out his sandwich from the bag. He glanced up at Hinata who was staring at him with a hesitant face.

            “What...what’s wrong?” Kageyama asked nervously pausing in his movements. Hinata settled restlessly in his chair, biting on his lip. Kageyama watched him with a sort of culpable apprehension.

            “I’m trying to decide how I want to approach this,” Hinata said looking a point past Kageyama head. Kageyama felt a hot nervous prickling along his skin as he watched Hinata think. “Oh, it’s nothing bad,” Hinata clarified when he looked at Kageyama’s nervous face. Kageyama released his breath, still holding onto some of his nerves.

            “I thought I did something wrong,” Kageyama said searching Hinata’s face. Hinata gave him an odd look.

            “You haven’t,” Hinata said looking at him confused. “You’re perfect. I was trying to figure out how to tell you it’s my birthday in a few weeks and I want you and Aiko to come with me to spend the weekend at my mom’s house.”

            “Your... what?” Kageyama said blankly. Hinata just smiled embarrassedly at him.

            “Yeah, I’m turning 27 and I would like you and Aiko to come with me. Both for my birthday and to meet my mom and sister a few of my friends,” Hinata said shrugging like it’s no big deal. “You don’t have to agree now, but you know... think about it.” Hinata started eating his food, trying to ignore the way Kageyama was staring stunned at him.

            “Are...are you sure?” Kageyama asked still surprised. Hinata looked up at him over his sandwich.

            “Um, yeah. That’s why I asked,” Hinata laughed wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I mean,” he shrugged, “I really like you and I adore Aiko and it just seemed like the perfect moment for you guys to, you know, meet my mom.”

            “I...uh...I’m,” Kageyama stuttered, blinking at the table in front of him. He looked up at Hinata who was seemingly loosing confidence.

            “That’s er, if-if you think it’s too soon, I can... you think about it ok, just...we’ll-”

            “I’d love to go,” Kageyama said cutting Hinata’s rambling off. Hinata’s face broke into a slow smile. “And I know Aiko would love to as well. Just please, no hospital trips on this excursion.”

            “No, no. I’ll make sure to tell my mom before hand about the mushroom embargo,” Hinata laughed going back to his sandwich. Kageyama watched him take a happy bite, feeling his chest constrict like it has been every time he looks at Hinata. 

            “So, you’re turning 27?”Kageyama said. “I didn’t even release you were a bit older than me. I don’t turn 27 till December.”

            “Oh, yeah. I guess I never really thought about it,” Hinata shrugged. “Though in my head, you were older than me by like a few years or so.”

            “Are you saying I look old?” Kageyama asked gruffly raising his eyebrows at Hinata.

            “No no no,” Hinata said waving his hand. “I meant like, well... I don’t know, you had a kid and she’s like what, four? I guess I didn’t assume you had her so young. Not like I thought you looked old,” he explained. “But you do have like a, older maturity about you. You know what I mean? ...Daddy,” Hinata said suggestively, smirking at Kageyama’s reaction of choking on his sandwich.

            “Oh my god,” Kageyama said coughing. “You can’t just say that shit out loud” he said blushing. Hinata laughed at his bright red cheeks.

            “Your face! Stop, that’s hilarious,” Hinata laughed, abandoning his sandwich to lean back giggling. “I didn’t think you’d turn so fucking red.”

            “Sh-shut up,” Kageyama said trying to cover his face, folding over. “I hate you, I hate you so much,” he mumbled, muffled by his fingers.

            “Oh really? Does Daddy want to punish me?” Hinata joked standing and stalking towards Kageyama.

            “Stop! Oh my god please stop,” Kageyama said pressing his palms over his eyes. He felt Hinata move the table aside and go to sit in his lap. “Hinata pl-” he tried to get out before he sat down, but it was too late.

            “Oh my god, did I actually give you a boner from that!?” Hinata said smiling smugly moving his hips on Kageyama’s lap where he was straddling him. “You dirty, dirty man,” he chastised moving Kageyama’s hands from his face. Kageyama tried to control the embarrassed blush on his face but failed miserably. He pointedly looked away from Hinata. Tilting his head up and looking at the ceiling. “Come on babe, look at me. I’ll stop, I promise,” Hinata giggled moving Kageyama’s hand to look at him. Kageyama gave him a weak glare as Hinata leaned down to kiss him. Kageyama closed his eyes as Hinata’s lips connected with his softly. He took Hinata’s lip between his own and nipped them delicately with his teeth. He moved his hands to Hinata’s hips, pulling them down to meet his hips in a slow circular motion. Hinata put both of his hands on the back of Kageyama’s neck, raking his fingernails gently on Kageyama’s scalp. Hinata whimpered quietly into Kageyama’s mouth as Kageyama moved his hands down further to squeeze his ass. Kageyama took advantage of Hinata’s open mouth to move his tongue into his mouth. Hinata was just moving his right hand down Kageyama’s chest playing with his nipple, when they both heard a loud crunching bite sound. Separating with a wet smacking sound, they turned their head toward the doorway where Kuroo was leaning in the doorway eating an apple smirking at them.

            “Don’t stop on my account,” he said taking another loud crunching bite of his apple. They both slowly turned away and wiped their mouths and adjusted their clothes. Hinata walked back over to where he was sitting, adjusted the table from where he moved it and went back to eating his sandwich. Kageyama just gave Kuroo an annoyed scowl before returning to his own sandwich. Kuroo just laughed as he watched them both try to act normally.

            “Maybe we should put in college-rules on the break room,” Kuroo said smirking. “You know like, a sock on the doorknob means ‘get lost, getting lucky’ or something. That way we don’t walk in on each other...” he made a crude sexual gesture.

            “So, what use would you have for those rules?” Kageyama said sarcastically. “So _you’re_ not walking in on other people? Who would you be,” Kageyama mimicked the crude sexual gesture, causing Hinata to snort so hard he choked. Hinata tried to cover his laughter with coughing.

            “I get plenty, don’t worry,” Kuroo said smugly. “Why, you volunteering?” he teased quirking an eyebrow.

            “Definitely not,” Kageyama said making a grossed out face.

            “What about you shrimpy?” Kuroo said nodding to Hinata who had just finished coughing. “I’ve got a set up back at my apartment that you just have to see to believe,” he said suggestively smirking sexily at Hinata. “Whips, chains, gags, I’ve got the works. I can make you feel wild.”

            “No it’s ok, I think I’ll take a rain check for now,” Hinata said pretending to really consider his offer. Kuroo shrugged at him.

            “Well when you’re ready, you know where to find me,” Kuroo said leaving the break room. Hinata just watched him go laughing.

            “I love how he didn’t even need anything from this room,” Hinata said taking a bite of his sandwich. “He came in just to fuck with you.”

            “It seemed more like he’d rather be fucking with you,” Kageyama said taking a sip from his water bottle. Hinata frowned at him.

            “Come on, don’t tell me you got jealous?” Hinata accused. Kageyama just shrugged non-committedly. “You know you have nothing to be jealous about... Daddy.”

            “Literally, I’m going to kill you,” Kageyama said blushing with embarrassment again.     


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this gives a little bit more insight to the upcoming angst. this chapter is a little short but it has both angst and fluff stuffed in somehow.
> 
> *warning* brief mild discussions of sexual activities

           Kageyama jerked awake with a start, visions of blue eyes and choked cries fading into the darkness of his bedroom. He sat up panting, trying to get air into his lungs. Putting his hand on his chest he could feel his rapid heart rate through his t-shirt that was soaked through with cold sweat. Looking around his bedroom he could see it was still sometime in the middle of the night based on how dark it still was. Instinctively, he moved his hand to his left where Hinata usually slept but his hand just found empty bed.

_That’s right, he didn’t sleep over tonight._

           Kageyama was surprised how quickly Hinata being next to him became so normal. Years with no one next to him, and yet a little over a month and a half of dating and he found himself reaching out for Hinata. It seemed funny how weird it was now to wake up with him not there when two months ago it was the norm.

           Regaining his breathing he got off his bed and walked quietly into the hallway to the bathroom. Squinting at the sudden bright light of the bathroom vanity, Kageyama turned on the faucet. Splashing some water on his face, he took a deep breath trying to calm down. Kageyama looked up at himself in the mirror above the sink. He had heavy bags under his eyes from barely sleeping anymore. He looked thinner. Kageyama had always been naturally muscular, but recently his face and body just looked thin.

            Pulling off his shirt, that had gone cold and uncomfortable, he just continued to undress and got in the shower. Turning the shower up as hot as possible, Kageyama stepped in, relishing the scalding liquid on his chilled skin. Taking deep breaths he stood there letting the water wash over him.

            _Another nightmare. I feel like these are happening everyday. But I can’t let Hinata know how often I’m actually having these. He worries too easily._

Kageyama washed his hair thinking about the last time he had woken up with a nightmare and Hinata had been there. It had probably been two days prior. He had tried not to wake him, but Hinata had a habit of falling asleep with his head on Kageyama’s chest. Every time Kageyama jerked awake, he tended to wake Hinata.

            “Hey, babe, lets talk about these,” Hinata said rubbing Kageyama’s back. He had just woken up, gasping for breath and clutching his throat. Hinata, who had been cuddled up on his side with his head resting on his pectoral, had been almost violently tossed off when Kageyama practically jackknifed into a seated position. Kageyama was sitting with his knees bent, and his head between his knees and his hands folded, clasped on the nape of his neck.

            “I’m fine,” he muttered. “Go back to sleep.”

            “But you keep having these nightmares,” Hinata asked concernedly. “I feel like they’re getting worse. You to just wake up startled, and now you wake up gasping for air, clutching your throat. This is really not good.”

            “I said I’m fine,” Kageyama insisted, not lifting his head up. He felt Hinata move, crawling on the bed and then saw the lamp light spill through his fringe dangling in front of him.

            “You’re not fine,” Hinata said sounded annoyed. “You have nightmares most nights than not. They are becoming more violent. We have to talk about this.”

            “No we don’t,” Kageyama said flatly, lifting his head up staring straight-ahead, pointedly not looking over at Hinata.

            “Why are you like this?” Hinata grunted in frustration. “I’m trying to help, don’t you see? If you talk about it out loud it might help you.”

            “But I don’t _want_ to talk about it,” Kageyama said turning his head to look at Hinata. He was sitting diagonal to him on the bed looking at him with concern. Kageyama could see the blatant worry on Hinata’s face. He was sitting cross-legged leaning his chin on one hand resting on his knee. “Not out loud, not in my head, not anywhere. I just don’t want to deal with this.”

            “Well obviously that’s not working!” Hinata cried out frustrated. “You can’t just ignore things and expect them to work out on their own. Sometimes you need to step in and do something. You talking about what’s bothering you, that’s stepping in.”

            “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kageyama said adamantly. “I just... I rather handle this my way ok? I know it works eventually.”

            “Look its-,” Hinata began sighing, “if you don’t want to talk about it fine. But I’m here ok? You know that right? It’s just... you have to talk. You can’t keep things bottle up inside, cause eventually you’re going to implode. And every part of you that you tried to not talk about is going to come spilling out like a burst pipe.” They sat there for a moment just listening to the silence of the room, thinking about the image Hinata just described of Kageyama.

            “That’s a little graphic don’t you think?” Kageyama said to Hinata trying to get him to smile.

            “Maybe a little,” Hinata said smiling slightly at him. “But it’s the best way to get through to you.” He crawled forward toward Kageyama pushing him back down to lie down on the bed. He leaned over and turned off the lamp plunging the room back into darkness. “Try to sleep ok?” he whispered into Kageyama’s skin as he settled them down, placing his head back on Kageyama’s chest.

            “I’ll try,” Kageyama said wrapping his arm around Hinata’s smaller body. He kissed the top of Hinata’s head as he intertwined their legs together. “Goodnight.”

            “Goodnight Babe,” Hinata sighed sleepily nuzzling into Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama hadn’t gotten much sleep that night. Nor had he this night. As Kageyama stepped out of the shower into the steam filled bathroom, he tried to decide if it was worth trying to go back to sleep tonight.

            He quietly walked back into his room and pulled on clean clothes, throwing his dirty clothes and towel in the hamper. He sat on his bed, rubbing the back of his neck trying to think of anything else he could do besides the one thing he really wanted to do. After a few moments Kageyama thought _fuck it_ and picked up his phone. Looking that it was sometime around 4 am, made him paused for a moment before trudging on and pressing Hinata’s contact. The phone was at his ear and ringing before he could think about it anymore.

            “Hello?” Hinata’s sleepy voice came from the other end. “Kageyama? Are you alright what’s wrong?”

            “Hey Hinata,” Kageyama said softly lying down sideways on the bed. “Yeah I’m fine, everything’s fine.”

            “Ok that’s good,” Hinata said skeptically. “But you could understand why I would think there would be something wrong, right? Cause it’s...4:13am.”

            “I just... really needed to hear your voice,” Kageyama said staring up at his ceiling. There was a silence on the other end and Kageyama felt a sudden pooling of embarrassment and guilt for waking Hinata’s up so early just to listen to his voice. He was about to apologize for calling when Hinata started speaking.

            “Kageyama, that’s so gay,” Hinata said in soft surprised. Kageyama snorted, shaking his head at the very Hinata response.

            “Hinata we’re gay,” Kageyama said smiling and feeling a thousand times better already. “We are literally in a gay relationship. We are actually boyfriends. Gay boyfriends.”

            “I know,” Hinata said. “But... I don’t know, sometimes I’m like ‘...whoa, this is really gay?’ you know? You never have those moments where you’re like ‘I’m gay and I’m doing something gay and like this is real, like this is my life, and it’s gay’? Like, I’m not alone in this, right?”

            “No, I have those moments too,” Kageyama said thinking about it. “But they don’t really happen during sappy conversations. Usually I have my dick in your mouth and my mouth around your dick. That’s usually when I’m like ‘hmm, this seems pretty gay...’” Kageyama said. Hinata laughed on the other line.

            “Ok yeah sure, that’s definitely pretty gay,” Hinata laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your perfectly sappy rom-com moment with my sexual realizations.”

            “It’s fine. You didn’t ruin it,” Kageyama smiled into the phone. “It was exactly what I needed.”

            “Why’d you need to hear my voice Kageyama?” Hinata asked. Kageyama could hear the rustling of sheets and pillows of Hinata trying to get more comfortable. “Besides your big gay crush on me.”

            “I just did,” Kageyama said, not wanting to worry Hinata about yet another nightmare. “Because I have a big gay crush on you.”

            “I know you do, you’re kind of obvious,” Hinata joked. “I mean you text me like everyday, you come to my bakery all the time, try to butter me up with your adorable daughter, and now you’re calling me in the middle of the night? Good sir, I’ll have you know, I’m not so easily won.”

            “Oh it definitely wasn’t easy,” Kageyama said smirking. “It was very hard to get you to go out with me. It was long and hard. So very hard.”

            “Are...are you trying to initiate phone sex with me?” Hinata asked excitedly. “I’m so not prepared for this, I need... props and sound effects.”

            “Ok well, now I’m not,” Kageyama chuckled. “Why do you need props? I can’t even see you. You could just lie.”

            “Well where’s the fun in that?” Hinata said. “I don’t lie my way through sex.”

            “Good to know,” Kageyama smiled. They were silent for a moment just listening to the other breathing.

            “Hey babe, as much as I love talking about how gay we are at... 4:25 in the morning, I still have to go to work tomorrow,” Hinata sighed. “The down side of running your own business; working on Saturdays. I’ll talk to you tomorrow ok?”

            “Yeah of course, get some sleep,” Kageyama said. He went to hang up just as he heard Hinata say something else.

            “Wait and Kageyama one more thing,” Hinata said as Kageyama put the phone back to his ear. Kageyama hummed in acknowledgement. “Next time you have a nightmare and I’m not there you can call me again ok?”

            “I will, thanks,” Kageyama said, his throat tight with emotion. “Goodnight.”

            “Goodnight you big gay dork,” Hinata said yawning into the phone. Kageyama heard the call disconnect and put the phone down the bed next to him. Feeling a thousand times better than he did only a few minutes ago, Kageyama tried to close his eyes to go back to sleep finding the thoughts of warm skin and bright voices made it much easier to fall.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i mentioned how much i love arguements? because i do. i L O V E them
> 
> also all of your comments have been amazing and you guys dont understand how emotional it makes me when i read them, it's fine, i'm fine.

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama was tired. He sat at his kitchen table, trying to chug down a giant mug of hot coffee, forcing himself awake. He had barely gotten two hours of sleep that night between staying up with Aiko’s new bedtime resistance and his nightmares, Kageyama felt like a zombie. Rubbing his eyes awake, Kageyama reached for his vibrating phone on the table, slid to answer the call and brought the phone up to his ear.

            “Hello?” he slurred, so tired he couldn’t speak properly.

            “Hey Babe,” Hinata’s bright and very awake voice said on the other end. “I just left the bakery and now I’m on my way to your place. I left Daichi a detailed list of everything that needed to be ordered and a complete list of do’s and don’ts for Lev that he will manage to ignore. But whatever, tomorrow’s my birthday and I don’t care.”

            “Oh ok good,” Kageyama said not sure how to respond. “So you’ll be here soon?”

            “Yeah, maybe like ten minutes or so,” Hinata said. “Sorry we have to leave so early and on a Friday too, but my mom just lives so far. It’s like a 6-7 hour drive.”

            “No it’s fine,” Kageyama said taking another gulp of coffee. “Iwaizumi was actually glad that I was taking the day off. He told me, quote ‘you look like shit. Go get laid and don’t come back until you do’ end quote. I think he’s spending too much time around Tanaka and Kuroo.”

            “Iwaizumi is just worried about you,” Hinata said. “You’ve been looking really... stressed these past few weeks.” Kageyama sighed heavily running a hand through his hair.

            “Yeah I know,” Kageyama exhaled tiredly. “I’ll talk to you when you get here ok? I’ll see you soon.”

            “Ok babe,” Hinata said happily. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” Kageyama heard the phone call end as he pulled the phone away from his ear. Chugging the last of his coffee, Kageyama walked over and placed his mug in the sink. Trying to be as awake as possible, Kageyama rubbed his eyes again, forcing himself to be alert.

            He walked into his bedroom, trying to be as quiet as possible so to not wake Aiko. Kageyama closed the door behind him, resting his head on the door. He took a deep breath willing himself awake. He walked over to his overnight bag he had sitting on top of his dresser. He had packed the essentials; shirts, pants, underwear, lube, condoms, socks, a sweater, Hinata’s birthday gift. Kageyama was nervous and excited to go, meet Hinata’s family but he was just so tired. He hadn’t done the whole parent ‘meet-and-greet’ since he dated Yachi, which was years ago. He wasn’t even sure if he remembered meeting Yachi’s mom for the first time. And it didn’t help that his meeting was compounded with Hinata’s birthday. He grabbed his bag and stepped out of his room going into Aiko’s for a moment to grab the bag he packed for her the night before, and then walked them both into the living room.

            As he walked into the living room, placing the bags on the couch, Kageyama heard a key in lock of his door. He looked over as Hinata walked in, usual bakery box in hand, trying carefully not to make much noise. Kageyama walked over and took the box from his hand so he could take off his shoes easier.

            “Oh thanks Babe,” Hinata said using both hands to take off his shoes. “I’m seriously bursting, I need to pee like right now.” He shook off his shoes, kicking it to the side. “Give me like one minute, I’ll be right back.” Kageyama watched as Hinata walked off to the bathroom.

            He walked into the kitchen carrying the bakery box. Opening it carefully, he saw the two rows of muffins in side. Smiling to himself, he walked over to a cabinet and grabbed some napkins and some mugs, bringing them over to the table.

            “Hey, wow that’s better,” Hinata said walking in. “Is Aiko still asleep?”

            “Yeah, she insisted on going to sleep in her clothes so she’d be ‘ready fast in the morning’ but I think it’s so I’ll end up carrying her asleep into the car,” Kageyama said walking over to the coffee pot. “She’s smart, that one,” he said fixing himself another mug of coffee.

            “She is quite smart,” Hinata said coming up behind Kageyama. He pressed a soft kiss to what he could reach of the back of his neck. “You didn’t even give me a proper good morning kiss,” Hinata said nudging his forehead into Kageyama’s back.

            “You ran in past me to pee,” Kageyama said taking a sip as Hinata wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Was I supposed to follow you?”

            “No, you’re supposed to shut up now and turn around and kiss me,” Hinata mumble into his shirt. Kageyama managed a soft small smile and turned in Hinata’s grasp, setting his mug on the counter behind him. He tilted Hinata’s chin up with his finger and pressed their lips together.

            “Daddy!” Aiko cried from the doorway. Kageyama and Hinata pulled apart and turned to look at the little girl standing in the doorway with her tiny hands covering her bright pink face. “You’re so embarrassing!”

            “You walked over here,” Kageyama said walking over to her and picking her up. “You were supposed to be sleeping,” he said kissing her nose. She wrinkled her nose.

            “That doesn’t mean you can kiss Hinata when I’m not here!” she tried to reason with him. “And you can’t kiss him when I’m here! Just no kissing,” she huffed spreading her arms definitively. Kageyama set her down on a chair at the kitchen table.

            “So no kissing, huh Muffin?” Hinata said jokingly threating to Aiko. “What about this-” he said grabbing her face and kissing her cheek repeatedly. She giggled as she tried to push Hinata away, who only held on tighter. Kageyama watched them with a painful happiness in his chest.

            “These- are- ok,” Aiko said through her giggles as Hinata pressed kisses all over her face. He pulled away with one final loud smacking kiss to her forehead. She made a show of wiping her face with her hands, before she reached into the box for a muffin. “Strawberry Chocolate Chip! I love this one!” she said happily, taking a huge bite and settling back into her chair.

            “Well, eat up quickly, because we have a long drive ahead of us,” Kageyama said pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. He and Hinata sat down with her at the table, eating their breakfast, planning their trip ahead of them.

* * *

 

            _Black; nothing but blackness all around him. He turns in place, looking behind him but he can’t see anything. A small hand goes in his. He tries to look down but he can’t move his head. He can’t move his body.  The hand is pulling him downward, becoming heavier and heavier by the moment. He’s falling, sinking more. His lungs are constricting. Another hand takes his other free hand; this one is bigger, but delicate and frail. It pulls him down more. He can’t move. His lungs can no longer expand, he can’t breathe. A feeling of hopelessness washes over him. He can’t do anything to stop it. He can’t help. A guilty scream builds in his throat but he can’t gather any yell to let it out. He can’t move. He can’t breathe. He’s useless._

Kageyama jerked awake being held in place by his seatbelt. He clutched his chest, gasping for air. He stared out unseeing, disoriented and confused.

            “Kageyama, are you ok?” he heard Hinata say next to him, his voice so far away. “Kageyama? Babe? Are you alright?” Kageyama looked over next to him to where Hinata’s voice was coming from. Hinata was glancing at him from the road. His hands were gripped tightly on the wheel, his face contorted in concern. “Kageyama, are you ok?”

            “F-fine,” Kageyama said catching his breath. “I’m fine.” He sat back in his seat adjusting his seatbelt over his chest. He ran his hand through hair trying to calm down.

            “How could you even say you’re fine?” Hinata asked concerned. “You just scared the living shit out of me, waking up from _another_ nightmare.”

            “I’m fine,” Kageyama said rubbing his eyes. “I was just really tired.” He watched as Hinata’s face grew more annoyed.

            “ _Just tired_?” he said looking back at the road angrily. “Of course you’re tired, you haven’t slept properly because you have been having nightmares like every fucking night that you refuse to talk about.” Kageyama huffed and rolled his eyes, rubbing his head at the beginnings of a headache. “And fine you don’t want to talk about it, but come on, you have to at least admit something is wrong.”

            “Nothing is wrong,” Kageyama said looking back into the backseat. He saw that Aiko had fallen asleep in her car seat, her head tipped back in deep sleep. “Aiko’s asleep, how far off are we?”

            “Yeah, I know,” Hinata said curtly at the change in topic. “We’re close. Maybe like 40 minutes away.”

            “Ok good,” Kageyama said looking out the windshield. “How long was I asleep for?”

            “You mean before you violently awoke?” Hinata asked frostily. Kageyama gave him a glare before nodding shortly. “A couple hours. Maybe like three.”

            “Do you want me to drive for the last bit?” Kageyama asked looking over at Hinata.

            “No, we’re almost there,” Hinata said. “Plus, you’re not fully functional,” he said waving dismissively at Kageyama.

            “What’s your problem man?” Kageyama said annoyed, turning to Hinata. “Are you trying to have an argument with me?”

            “No,” Hinata said bitterly.

            “You clearly are,” Kageyama said agitated. “Why are you trying to pick a fight?”

            “I’m not,” Hinata said indifferently.

            “You know what, forget it,” Kageyama said folding his arms and looking out the passenger side window. They sat silently for a few minutes.

            “I...I’m worried about you ok?” Hinata said quietly after a moment. Kageyama turned his head to look at Hinata’s profile. He was focused on the road, determinedly not looking over at Kageyama. “You just... I just want you to...” he sighed. “You just seem... stressed ok? And I want you to just talk to me. I’m here, just talk to me.”

            “I’m-” Kageyama started.

            “I swear to god, if you say ‘fine’ so help me Kageyama, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Hinata said angrily, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

            “Fine,” Kageyama bit out. Hinata whipped his head to glare at him. “I meant ‘fine’ as in ‘fine I wont say I’m fine’ ok?”

            “Fine,” Hinata said imitating Kageyama staring back at the road. Kageyama gave him an incredulous look.

            “You really want to have a fu-” Kageyama stopped himself, glancing back to make sure Aiko was still fast asleep. Seeing that she was still completely asleep, he began again in a quieter voice. “You really want to have a fucking argument?”

            “No I don’t,” Hinata said shrugging.  “I just want to listen to me and take some fucking advice once in a while.”

            “And what advice is that?” Kageyama asked annoyed.

            “To fucking talk to me!” Hinata said forcibly.

            “Shush!” Kageyama said looking back at Aiko. She stirred in her sleep but didn’t wake up. “I am talking to you.”

            “Yeah cause I’m forcing you to,” Hinata mumbled.

            “You’re not forcing me to do anything,” Kageyama said rolling his eyes. “I just don’t want to talk about...”

            “Fine,” Hinata said staring forward. Kageyama sighed looking out the window. The silence between them grew. Kageyama squirmed restlessly in his seat as he felt the tension in the car.

            “Pull over,” Kageyama said after a few minutes. He looked over at Hinata who gave him a sidelong glance. He frowned but pulled over into an empty rest stop. Hinata pulled into a parking spot and forcibly turned the ignition off. Kageyama violently unbuckled and got out of the car closing the door behind him. He could hear Hinata sigh and unbuckle and get out of the car. Kageyama stood leaning against the car, rubbing his mouth, listening to Hinata’s footsteps come closer to him taking deep breaths. He leaned on the car, looking down at his feet; he could see Hinata’s feet stop in front of him.

            “What?” Hinata said folding his arms. Kageyama looked up at him. Hinata was looking over to the side, arms crossed, jaw clenched.

            “Come here,” Kageyama said pulling Hinata’s sleeve. Hinata glanced at him, uncrossing his arms. “Seriously, come here,” Kageyama said tugging on his sleeve again. Hinata took a reluctant step closer to him. Kageyama moved his hand to Hinata’s neck and tilted his head up to his. Hinata frowned up at Kageyama with a defiant look. Kageyama slowly and hesitantly brought their lips together. Hinata received the kiss stiffly, but eventually relented and kissed back.

            “You can’t just end every disagreement with kissing,” Hinata whispered once they pulled away. He settled his hands on Kageyama’s waist as Kageyama held his neck and face in both hands.

            “I can try,” Kageyama said softly pressing another kiss to Hinata’s lips.

            “Ugh I really hate you,” Hinata groaned pressing his fingertips into Kageyama’s side. “And I really hate how affective that was.” Kageyama chuckled running his thumb over Hinata’s cheek.

            “It’s ok,” Kageyama said smiling softly down at him. “I’m sorry you’re frustrated with me. I don’t mean to worry you. But really I’m-” Hinata gave him a warning look, “-alright.”

            “I just worry about you ok?” Hinata said tenderly resting his forehead against Kageyama’s chest. “I get scared that one day you’re not going to wake up gasping for air.”

            “Hey, that’s not going to happen. They’re just dreams,” Kageyama said wrapping his arms around Hinata. “I’m ok. They’ll pass. They always do. This is temporary.” Kageyama pulled back to give Hinata a reassuring smile.

            “I trust you,” Hinata said, giving Kageyama a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Kageyama bent down and kissed him again.  


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meeting the inlaws is always awkward.
> 
> also a few people have asked for my tumblr so i've decided to put it up. you can contact me about literally anything and i will probably answer with too much detail
> 
> accordingtomyresearch.tumblr.com - my main blog  
> killerservertobio.tumblr.com - my haikyuu!! blog

           

* * *

            As they pulled up into the driveway at Hinata’s mothers house, Kageyama could literally feel himself shaking in his seat he was so nervous. He had managed that morning to put together a “meeting-the-parent’s” appropriate outfit consisting of a pair of nice, tailored black jeans and a knitted burgundy long sleeved shirt. However it just occurred to him that it probably got wrinkly during the 6-hour car ride.

            “No, it’s fine. You look fine,” Hinata said turning the car off. He looked over at him and saw Kageyama nervous expression. “You were thinking out loud again, and _relax_ ,” he instructed.

            “I’m... relaxed,” Kageyama fibbed pulling down the visor mirror to check out his reflection. He had slight purple bags under his eyes, but that had become his new normal.

            “Oh my god, you’re gorgeous,” Hinata exasperated pausing in his movements to get out of the car. “Aiko, tell daddy he’s beautiful so he’ll get out of the car.”

            “Daddy, you’re so beautiful,” Aiko cooed from the back seat. Kageyama made a face at Hinata but thanked his daughter anyway. He took a deep breath and got out of the car, straightening his shirt. He opened the back door and got Aiko out and took out all three of their weekend bags. He closed the car behind him as he watched Hinata picked up Aiko and walk cheerfully over to the front door with her. Kageyama adjusted the bags in his grasp and walked up standing behind them. He bit his lip nervously as Hinata leaned over so Aiko could ring the doorbell.

            “Shou?” said a soft motherly voice as the door opened. Kageyama saw as a short older woman, with short dark brown hair and Hinata’s big golden eyes open the door. “Shou! I’m so glad you’re here, happy birthday!” she exclaimed pulling him into a hug.

            “Hey mom, thanks,” he said hugging her back. “Oh mom, this Aiko,” he said he said looking at the tiny girl in his arms. “Remember I told you about her?”

            “Yes you did- the little artist. But you never mentioned how cute she was,” his mom said smiling at Aiko and pinching her cheek. Aiko giggled and buried her face in Hinata’s neck.

            “I definitely mentioned her looks because she takes after her father, Kageyama Tobio,” he said turning so his mom could see Kageyama better. Kageyama tensed at the sudden attention on him and dropped one of the bags in his rush to extend his hand to greet Hinata’s mom.

            “Um, I’m Kageyama Tobio, I’m Aiko’s dad,” Kageyama said awkwardly shaking her hand.

            “And my boyfriend,” Hinata said looking at Kageyama like he completely forgot relevant information.

            “Er, right,” Kageyama said releasing Hinata’s mom’s hand and picking up the bag he dropped. “I’m, er, the boyfriend.”

            “Well it’s nice to meet you Kageyama, the boyfriend,” Hinata’s mom said smiling. “I’m Yuki, the mom.” Kageyama tried to give her a pleased smile but in his nervousness it came out as more of a confused grimace. Fortunately, she didn’t say anything about it and only smiled warmly back.         “Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you guys standing outside for so long. Come in, it’s hot outside,” she said taking a step to the side as they walked in. Kageyama graciously nodded to her as he followed Hinata inside. “Here come, Kageyama. I’ll show you were you can put your bags.” He looked over at Hinata who was already walking Aiko into the kitchen, and then followed Hinata’s mom up the stairs.

            “I cleared out the guest room for you two,” she said glancing back at him as he followed up behind her. “Since Natsu will stay in her room, I thought I’d give Aiko Shouyou’s old room, and you two could have the guest room.”

            “Th-thank you,” he said coughing nervously, his deep gruff voice gruffer than normal.

            “Well here you go,” she said coming to a door right at the foot of the stairs. “It’s nothing much, or even all that big but...” Yuki said opening the door.

            “It’s perfect, I’m not picky at all,” he said setting the bags on the floor by the foot of the queen-sized bed. The room was basically just the bed, a lamp and a closet, but it smelled clean and it felt bright. “I don’t need much, just a place to sleep. Thank you for allowing me and my daughter to stay here.”

            “Oh it’s no problem at all,” she smiled. “It’s nice to meet Shou’s boyfriend finally. You’re welcome to stay here.” Kageyama could feel his cheeks flush in embarrassment as he nodded at her.

            “Mom!” Hinata’s voice called from the kitchen. “Mom, can we eat whatever this is on the stove?”

            “Not here five minutes and he’s already trying to eat something,” she sighed shaking her head at Kageyama who just gave her a sympathetic shrug. “Hold on I’ll be right down!” she called out the door. “Here, come with me. You must be starving from that long car ride,” she said motioning for Kageyama to follow her out the door.

* * *

 

            “Would you like anymore, Honey?” Yuki said to a very full Aiko who was leaning back in her chair, propped up by pillows to reach the table properly.

            “No, thank you,” Aiko said contentedly rubbing her belly. Kageyama smirked as he watched her look longingly at the rest of the food still left on the table.

            “You know Muffin, if you’re hungry you can eat more,” Hinata said leaning over the table.

            “But I’m so full,” she moaned looking over at her dad. Kageyama smiled at her and ruffled her hair. “It was all so good.”

            “Oh, I’m so glad that you enjoyed it,” Yuki said. “I guess we can skip the dessert if you’re too full...”

            “NO! I mean- no, I can eat dessert,” Aiko shouted excitedly.

            “I’ll go get it then,” Yuki smiled getting up from the table.

            “Here I can help,” Kageyama said as he followed after to her.

            “I got it,” she smiled. “You’re my guest, please, relax.”

            “Yeah Kageyama,” Hinata said gesturing over the table. “Sit down and chillax, man.” Kageyama rolled his eyes at his boyfriend who was smirking at him across the table. Yuki walked back in with a tray of large chocolate chip cookies, which at the sight of, Aiko immediately started to wiggle excitedly in her seat for.

            “I baked these fresh this afternoon, almost right before you guys got here,” Yuki said placing the tray on the table. Aiko was staring at them wide-eyed and hungry, unsure if she could just reach over and take one.

            “Oh no, mom,” Hinata said looking upset. “If they eat your cookies, then they’ll never like my cookies again.” Yuki just laughed sitting back down in her seat.

            “Well did you think you got your baking skills from thin air?” she teased reaching for a cookie. Aiko saw her take one and reached over at took one off the tray and happily bite into it.

            “No,” Hinata said resigned. “You’re the one who taught me,” he said grabbing a cookie.

            “These. Are. The. Best. Cookies. Ever,” Aiko said looking at her half eaten cookie in her hand. Kageyama just looked at her as she stuffed the rest of it in her mouth and reached for another one, preparing for her other hand to grab another.

            “Ok, slow your roll there, Belly,” Kageyama said blocking her hand from grabbing a third cookie. “You’re eating cookies, not inhaling them. You’re going to throw up.”

            “But they’re so good,” she mumbled through her full mouth.

            “I’m glad you like them,” Yuki said. “Shouyou likes to think he’s the best baker of the family, but he knows that I can out bake him any day.” Hinata frowned at his mom, mumbling about he was the one with the bakery.

            “These are quite good,” Kageyama said taking a bite. Yuki gave him a slight smile.

            “Aiko,” Yuki said turning to her after Aiko had finished her second cookie. “Would you like to watch a movie? Natsu has a collection of movies from when she was little that I think you might like.” Aiko nodded happily following Yuki out taking her hand as they walked into the living room. Kageyama let out a breath.

            “Relax Kageyama,” Hinata said leaning across the table and placing his hand on Kageyama hand. “You’re fine. You don’t have to be so nervous.”

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said uncomfortably. “I’m fine,” he added taking back his hand and running his fingers through his hair. Hinata frowned at him but schooled his face as his mom came back in and sat down in her seat.

“So, Kageyama,” she began tentatively, “I didn’t really get to ask much during dinner, but tell me about yourself a little bit.” Kageyama glanced at her, his face heating up with nervousness.

            “Um, well there’s not much to say,” he said unsurely, nervously playing with his sleeves. “I’m a tattooist at a shop near Hinata’s bakery. I, uh, am a dad, obviously,” he chuckled nervously trying not to look over at her much. Though Yuki was a great deal smaller than him, he felt like he was shrinking under her gaze.

            “What is that like?” she said looking genuinely interested. “Working at the tattoo shop, I mean. I’ve never been in one before.”

            “Um well, it’s kind of like any job you know?” he began awkwardly. “I go each day and I have time to design tattoos and work on commissioned designs, and then I take clients. It’s not too, um, glamorous.” Kageyama could see in his periphery her eyes flicker down at his tattoo-covered arms. Feeling marginally insecure, he tried to focus on a spot on the table instead. She was quiet for a moment. Kageyama glanced up between her and Hinata who was looking as nervous as he was.           

            “You know for a while there, I thought Shouyou was going to be so focused on his bakery that he’d never lift his head up and meet someone,” she said after a moment. Kageyama saw Hinata give his mother a pointed look. “But then out of the blue a few weeks ago he tells me he’s been seeing someone. Someone he really likes.” Kageyama audibly gulps, turning to better listen to Yuki. “So naturally I asked who it was, which he tells me all about this great guy who he’s known for a while and might be the most caring and sweet person he’s ever met.”

            “Mom!” Hinata said annoyed.

            “Tha-...i’m...he-” Kageyama stuttered completely flustered.

            “So it wasn’t hard to imagine how curious I was to meet this man who had captured my Shou’s attention so completely,” she smiled. “I was... surprised to find out not only were you a father of a small child and covered in all sorts of tattoos and piercings,” Kageyama blanched, a chill going down his spine at the anticipation of her disapproval.  “But you seemed to be every bit of sweet and caring that he described.” She looked over at Hinata who was staring at her wide-eyed and irritated. “And so cute to boot.”

            “Mom,” Hinata warned. He gave her a look Kageyama couldn’t read and it didn’t make him feel any better.

            “So Kageyama, “ she said ignoring Hinata, “Tell me about your life. What are your parents like? Your family?” Kageyama felt completely uncomfortable. Hinata looked over at him worriedly.

            “I... um,” Kageyama gulped, “I don’t talk to them much.” He glanced at Hinata who had a surprised expression. “I haven’t...um, my family is just not close.”

            “Oh,” she said saddened. “I didn’t mean to bring up painful things.”

            “No, no it’s ok,” Kageyama said trying to make his voice sound normal again. “I mean, you didn’t know and it would only make sense that you would ask about my family I just... didn’t think about it.” Kageyama looked down at his hands. He could feel both of their eyes staring at him. “My dad raised me, and I don’t have any siblings, and no extended family,” he said after a moment. He couldn’t look up at them because he just knew the expressions they were giving him; it had been the same he had been getting his whole life.

            “So it’s just you and Aiko?” Yuki asked softly. He looked up at her through his fringe, her face concerned but trying to be friendly.

            “Um, not exactly,” he said glancing at Hinata who just looked sad. “Sh-she has her mom who she sees about once a month, and her maternal grandmother, but she only sees her like once a year around the holidays. But, I guess yeah, most of the time it’s just me and her.”

            “Shouyou told me you’re her main caregiver,” she said, “You’re her full-time parent.”

            “Yes,” he breathed. “Her mother knew that she wouldn’t be able to dedicate the time needed in parenting and so we came to the decision together for me to raise her. But she is a great mom none the less, and Aiko loves her.”

            “Well, I know how difficult it can be to raise a child on your own,” she smiled glancing at Hinata who was smiling supportively. “And Aiko seems like a great little girl.”

            “She really is, mom,” Hinata said. Kageyama looked at Hinata, his gut pooling with a toxic mix of nervous and attraction. “So smart and caring, and not to mention a prolific artist.”

            “She must take after her father,” Yuki smiled at Kageyama, who felt himself blush.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i have a lot to cover in this update so hopefully i dont forget something. 
> 
> first, your responses on both here and on tumblr have been so overwhelmingly amazing. honestly you guys are too kind and so awesome so thank you.
> 
> second, springing off the above comment, based off an ask i received on tumblr i wrote a relatively extensive post on the looks and dress of Hinata, Kageyama and Aiko that includes things like what their hair looks like with pictures, little headcanons about the characters in relation to this particular AU and the logo of the SunFlour bakery that i drew. it's actually helpful to the story, and also it was super fun to write so you should check that out [here](http://accordingtomyresearch.tumblr.com/tagged/The-Sum-of-It%27s-Parts). 
> 
> third, I'm at New York Comic Con this weekend so i can't promise super consistent updating for the next few days, but i am going to try. 
> 
> and lastly:  
> *warning* graphic sexual situations

* * *

_Big blue eyes slowly losing their brightness as a final breath left a gasping mouth. A face, blue with lack of oxygen, its mouth trying desperately to capture air with no luck. A hand in his, squeezing so tightly it hurt, then slowly loosing pressure until it lay lifeless in his hand. He froze, feeling light headed, not being able to take enough air into his lungs. A weak cry left his lips, barely anything more than a strangled breath. Tightness rose in his own throat. He could no longer breathe. He could feel a tightening around his throat. He could no longer breathe. He felt his eye’s losing sight. He could no longer breathe-_

Kageyama launched out of bed practically throwing Hinata off the side in the process. He leaned over the side of the bed kneeling, gasping for air. A strangled cry come from his mouth as he gasped in air.

            “Fuck,” he said softly as he took in deep breaths. “Oh fuck...”

            “Kageyama are you alright?” Hinata said next to him. He was rubbing his hands on Kageyama’s back trying to sooth him, but it only served to annoy him.

            “Get off, I’m fine,” he said pushing Hinata’s arm away.

            “Ok, excuse me for caring,” Hinata said crawling back to his side of the guest bed. “You’re the one who went jumping out of bed because- oh surprise surprise, you had another fucking nightmare.”

            “I just- I’m sorry,” Kageyama sighed rubbing his face. “I’m...sorry its just, you got to know when... you have to just leave me alone sometimes.”

            “Yeah ok, and how am I supposed to know the times when you need to be left alone versus the times you want to be consoled?” Hinata asked leaning back against the headboard. “Oh wait, that’s right you won’t tell me. Cause you don’t tell me anything. I mean like, why should I know anything? Why talk to me about things? I’m only your boyfriend.” Hinata sat back sulking, crossing his arms over his chest. Kageyama sat down on the bed crossing his legs.

            “I talk to you,” Kageyama sighed, “I just don’t want to talk about this.”

            “You know we’ve been dating almost two months,” Hinata began, “and while I was listening to you talk to my mom I realized that I don’t know anything about you.”

            “What?” Kageyama said looking at him skeptically.

            “Yeah, I don’t,” Hinata said shrugging. “I mean you know all about me, but I didn’t even realize that I didn’t know how you grew up.”

            “It’s not that important,” Kageyama said shaking his head.

            “Of course it is, it’s a part of you,” Hinata insisted. “Do...do you not trust me?” he asked unsure.

            “What? Of course I trust you,” Kageyama said confused. “Just because I didn’t tell you every sordid detail from my childhood doesn’t mean I don’t trust you.”

            “Sorry, it’s just...sometimes it feels that way,” Hinata said quietly. “I mean you tell me what’s going on in the day to day but there’s no big picture stuff.”

            “Of course you’re in big picture stuff,” Kageyama said incredulously. Hinata raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Aiko; she’s big picture stuff to me. That’s as big as it gets. And you’re in her life. I... want you...in her life. How else... how else can I show you that I trust you?” Hinata stared at him, his eyes swimming with some emotion Kageyama couldn’t place. “If there’s another way I can show that I trust you and cared about you and want you... I mean tell me. Aiko is everything to me and the best possible way I could show you how I feel is through her. Having you around her and encouraging your... paternal-like relationship with her, th-that’s how I thought I was showing you I care. I’m sorry if it wasn’t obvious.”

            “No...you...I didn’t,” Hinata stumbled, his voice growing thick. He searched Kageyama’s face before lurching forward and wrapping his arms around Kageyama and pulling him into a tight hug. Startled for a moment, Kageyama hesitantly wound his arms around Hinata’s smaller body and pulled him close. Burying his face in Kageyama’s neck Hinata sniffled against his skin winding his fingers through Kageyama’s hair. “You’re right, I didn’t even think about it like that.”

            “It’s ok,” Kageyama whispered against Hinata’s head, caressing him gently. Hinata moved to pull Kageyama down with him. They got underneath the covers again, holding closely to each other. Hinata practically laid his body on top of Kageyama’s trying to remain close with him. They turned their faces to look at each other, keeping their foreheads touching. Hinata’s fingers absentmindedly drew small shapes on Kageyama’s chest.

            “I’m afraid of heights,” Hinata said after a few quiet minutes. Kageyama looked at him quizzically. “I don’t like blueberries, but my second top selling muffin is blueberry so I have to buy them all the time and it’s annoying. I really like singing musicals in the shower but I know I have a terrible voice. I once-”

            “Wait wait, what are you doing?” Kageyama asked looking at him confused.

            “I’m... I’m telling you things,” Hinata said looking at him like it was obvious. “This is how I show I trust you.” Kageyama smiled at that pulling Hinata closer to him.

            “Ok,” Kageyama said going back to running his fingers through Hinata’s hair. “Continue.”

            “Alright, where was I?” Hinata said, “Oh! Right, so once I went to give a presentation in my college ethics class and I opened the wrong folder on my hard drive...it was porn. It was a lecture class.”

           “Oh my god,” Kageyama said laughing.

            “Yeah,” Hinata reminisced. “I’ve never seen the Jurassic Park movies. I’m really good at checkers. My first kiss was with a girl in middle school. I still don’t know how to write a professional email. When I was 16 I got mono cause I was dared to lick all the basketball player’s water bottles when they weren’t looking.” Kageyama made a face but kept listening anyway.

            “There’s a small scar on my thigh that I told you I got from a fight I was in during high school, I lied. When I was 10 a tried to pick up a kitten from an alley and it freaked out and scratched me,” Hinata continued. “When I was in my last year of high school I dyed my hair black and would try to be all emo; it lasted about 3 weeks.”

            “I think you would make a horrible emo,” Kageyama smiled playing with Hinata’s ginger locks. “And I love your hair color.”

            “Thank you,” Hinata said softly. “You’re right, I was a horrible emo. I was too happy all the time,” he laughed. “I bet you were all punk and cool and stuff right? With all your cool piercings and tattoos, oh I would have been so jealous of you.”

            “I think you mean attracted to me,” Kageyama smirked.

            “Oh believe me, I can do both,” Hinata said closing the distance between them. He tenderly pressed his lips against Kageyama’s, just enough for a short sweet kiss. “Do you feel better now?”

            “Loads,” Kageyama whispered against his mouth.

* * *

 

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama was tired. Despite the care and attention he received from Hinata the night before, he hadn’t really been able to go back to sleep. Checking to make sure Hinata was still asleep, Kageyama carefully got off the bed and walked out into the hallway gently closing the door behind him. Stopping into the bathroom quickly, Kageyama then quietly made his way down the stairs trying to make any noise so as to not wake anyone. Just as he reached the bottom of the steps, Kageyama heard the soft murmur of conversation coming from the kitchen. Making sure not to make any sounds, Kageyama tip toed towards the doorway, listening as the voices became clearer.

            “...he’s much different than his last one,” Kageyama could her Yuki saying quietly in the kitchen.

            “Good different or bad different?” said a female voice Kageyama didn’t recognize.

            “I’m not sure yet...good I think,” Yuki said thoughtfully. Kageyama pressed himself against the wall trying not to be seen as he listened. “He seems quiet, or at least reserved.”

            “Well Kozume is quiet and reserved,” the female voice said again.

            “No Kageyama is a different kind of reserved,” Yuki said thoughtfully. “And he seems to be a lot more mature than Kozume ever will be.”

            “Yeah... Shou told me this guy has a kid...?” the voice asked incredulously. “How old is this guy anyway?”

            “Natsu, don’t be rude,” Yuki said reprimanding her. _Natsu, that’s Hinata’s sister._ “He’s the same age as Shouyou, and his daughter is wonderful.”

            “I’m not being rude, and I’m not doubting this guy,” Natsu said defensively. “I’m doubting Shouyou. He would go for some guy too old for him with like, a kid his age.”

            “Natsu that’s unfair of you to say and it’s gross,” her mother said sternly. “I know you like Kozume but that was Shouyou's decision-”

            “I know mom,” Natsu sighed. “I just thought they’d be... never mind it doesn’t matter.”

            “Please just keep an open mind,” Yuki said. “He’s really nice and Shouyou likes him a lot and I know as soon as you meet that little girl you will be sold.”

            “...Shouyou likes him a lot?” Natsu asked carefully after a brief pause.

            “I think so,” Yuki said so quietly Kageyama had to strain to hear her. “You should see the way he looks at him. Like all of the worlds answers on his face.”

            “Ugh mom you’re so sappy,” Natsu huffed.

            “I can’t help it,” Yuki laughed. “I’m so happy for my boy. He’s happy.”

            “Fine, but I reserve the right to make a judgment later, and to possibly change that judgment,” Natsu said. Kageyama could hear the sounds of the chair scraping against the floor. Not wanting to risk being seen, Kageyama tiptoed back up the stairs as quickly and as quietly as he could. Prying the door open as silently as he could, Kageyama stepped into the room closing the door behind him. He crawled back into bed, getting back under the covers with Hinata who was still sleeping next to him. Feeling a little vulnerable, Kageyama pulled Hinata close to him, pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

            “Mmm Kageyama?” Hinata murmured sleepily.

            “Happy Birthday Hinata,” Kageyama whispered running his fingers through his hair.

            “Thank you,” Hinata sighed cuddling closer to Kageyama. He laid his head on his chest and slotted his leg in between Kageyama’s.

            “You’re welcome,” Kageyama said tenderly kissing his forehead. “I have a present for you,” he said running his other hand up and down Hinata’s arms.

            “All I want right now is a hundred more hours to sleep and for you not to go anywhere,” Hinata mumbled into Kageyama’s chest.

            “So no birthday sex?” Kageyama smirked pausing his movements. Hinata tilted his head back to look at Kageyama’s face, who was staring innocently back at him. “I’ll take that as a maybe?”

            “You can take that as a ‘why offer when I’m too tired to participate’,” Hinata said settling his head back on Kageyama’s chest. However Kageyama pulled out from underneath him.

            “Oh no, this is your birthday,” Kageyama said setting Hinata down on the bed and accommodating him. “This is about what I can do for you,” he said getting on all fours and tossing the blankets aside. “And all you have to do,” Kageyama said putting his hand on Hinata’s chest to keep him from moving, “is lay back,” he began kissing his way down Hinata’s body, “and take it.” With one final kiss to the kiss above the hemline of his briefs, Kageyama pulled off Hinata’s brief with excited force. He looked up at Hinata’s heavy-eyed face as his half hard dick bounce free from the briefs. He pressed soft kisses along the shaft as it grew to attention. Kageyama got off the bed for a moment and went into his bag. Pulling out the fresh tube of lube he bought specially for this weekend, Kageyama got back onto kneeling on the bed as he opened up the plastic packaging.

            “Is that fucking new?” Hinata asked laughing. “Did you buy brand new ‘birthday sex’ lube?” Kageyama nodded as he struggled to rip of the plastic.

            “It’s strawberry scented,” Kageyama said ripping the plastic off with his teeth as he pushed aside Hinata’s legs with his knees. “It’s also one of those edible lubes.” He popped open the lid and pour some on his fingers, quickly warming them before bringing his hand down to circle Hinata’s entrance.

            “Why would you need an edible lube?” Hinata said lying down, enjoying the feeling of Kageyama’s finger on him. He felt Kageyama move on the bed. He looked down his body to see Kageyama lying on his stomach. Kageyama took both of Hinata’s legs and put them over his shoulder and pulled his hips towards him.

            “For this,” Kageyama said as he placed the flat of his tongue against Hinata’s entrance. Hinata instantly keened, tightening his legs around Kageyama’s shoulder. Kageyama just smirked, working his tongue faster over his entrance.

            “You have to warn me next time you do that,” Hinata breathed. Kageyama licked a long stripe before moving his head up.

            “Nah, I like the element of surprise,” Kageyama said putting his face back. He moved his lubed hand to work Hinata’s dick slowly in time with his tongue.

            “I know that-oh god,” Hinata said trying to keep with himself from calling out. “But the only surprise you’re going to not enjoy is the one where someone comes rushing in because they think I’m hurt.”

            “The only one coming is going to be you,” Kageyama said thumbing the head of his dick. He pressed his tongue past the ring of muscle.

            “Oh wow, h-how original,” Hinata moaned quietly, grasping at the bed sheets beneath him.

            “I don’t have to be original,” he said flicking his tongue in and out. “I just have to be good.”

            “Wow I don’t think you know how good that fucking rod in your tongue feels right now,” Hinata gasped. Kageyama smiled around him.

            “You know they make vibrating ones,” Kageyama said innocently as he deliberately rubbed the piercing on Hinata’s entrance.

            “That would probably kill me,” Hinata moaned quietly. Kageyama pulled off his mouth to press kisses to the inside of Hinata’s thighs, sucking a bruise. He sucked, and nipped and kissed and licked the spot until he moved and saw a bright red mark that he knew would turn into a perfect bruise.

            “Are you really giving me a hickey right now?” Hinata said rolling his hips.

            “Yup,” Kageyama said moving to the other leg to give it a matching bruise.

            “Look on any other day we could spend hours giving hickeys,” Hinata said breathily, trying to get more friction from Kageyama’s deliberately slow moving hand on his dick. “But I really need to come right now, so I’m begging you to go back.”

            “Whatever you say birthday boy,” Kageyama said moving his mouth back over his entrance. He blew air on it softly, watching as Hinata squirmed around him. Kageyama then attacked his entrance with fervor; his tongue and lips pulling all sorts of straggled sounds from Hinata’s mouth. Kageyama worked his hand on Hinata’s dick faster, working in tandem with his tongue.

            “Ka-Kageyama, I’m go-going...” Hinata tried to say. Kageyama continued to work his tongue even faster, keeping his hand pumping Hinata at a matching speed. Hinata gave one final moan before he brought his hand to his mouth to bite down as he came all over his stomach and Kageyama’s hand. With one final lick to his entrance, Kageyama pulled back getting off the bed to get the small towel he packed in his bag for exactly this moment.

            “You came so prepared,” Hinata teased as Kageyama wiped him down. Kageyama smiled self-deprecatingly as he wiped off his fingers.

            “Well I could have gone down stairs into the kitchen with a face full of spit and lube and a hand covered in come and asked your mom where the paper towels were,” Kageyama said rolling the towel up and placing it aside. “But I thought better of it.”

            “Good thinking,” Hinata sighing. Kageyama smirked and bent down to go give him a kiss. “Oh my god no, go brush your teeth first,” Hinata said pushing his face away.

            “That’s the thanks I get?” Kageyama said mockingly upset. “I slave away at your orgasm and this is how you repay me?”

            “Yes,” Hinata said. “Now go brush your teeth and I’ll show you what slaving away at your orgasm really is,” he said kicking Kageyama’s butt as he walked out of the room.  


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the combination of comments on here and tumblr have been so incredible that honestly you guys are making my day every day. a fter people have asked about making fanart and to anyone thinking about it my answer is a blanket YES. all i ask is that you link to the fic or me and tell me when you post your work so i can link it from here!!!! 
> 
> i want to apologize for the inconsistent updates, but making it to the computer each day during the convention is almost impossible. but heres an extra long chapter to make for that!! (hopefully) and it's got everything; discussion of smut, fluff, angst, emotional crap- both good and bad.

* * *

            Tired, sedated, and completely satisfied, Kageyama and Hinata lay side by side on the bed, sweaty and panting. Wiping his mouth free of any come or lube, Hinata turned on his side to face Kageyama, who was still trying to regain his breathing.

            “I need to get up and brush my teeth,” Hinata said licking the side of his mouth. “But I do have to say that buying an edible lube was a great decision. Strawberry flavored? You are a genius.”

            “I agree,” Kageyama said turning his head to look at Hinata. “I just didn’t expect to be out of so much so soon.”

            “Oh but wasn’t it worth it?” Hinata said suggestively. Kageyama just frowned at him as Hinata grinned up at him wiggling his eyebrows knowingly. Kageyama relented and smiled at him looking away.

            “It’s always worth it with you, you dork,” Kageyama said pushing Hinata’s face away. Hinata yelped as he almost rolled off the bed.

            “Hey, it’s my birthday you have to be gentle with me,” Hinata said smacking Kageyama lightly on his arm.

            “That’s not what you said 5 minutes ago,” Kageyama smirked sitting up.

            “Oh, he’s a comedian now,” Hinata said crawling over to Kageyama and straddling his hips. He wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck as Kageyama placed his hands on Hinata’s backside pulling him forward as he leaned back against the headboard. Their nude bodies, still warm and sticky, melted together as they held on to each other. “I hope the rest of my birthday matches up to this morning.”

            “It could,” Kageyama said kissing him softly.

            “I wish we could just stay in bed all day,” Hinata said running his fingers through Kageyama’s hair. “I could think of a million more ways to use that lube.”  
            “Oh I bet you could,” Kageyama said running his hands up Hinata’s back. “But alas we don’t have that kind of time. Or privacy.” Hinata pouted but shrugged acceptingly. “Hey do you think we would be able to sneak into the bathroom and shower together?”

            “Ha! I wish,” Hinata said getting off Kageyama’s lap. “It’s...” he looked over and tapped his phone, “7:30 and she’s definitely awake. And as much as I love walking the fine line of what is appropriate to do in your mother’s house, I would love to never have the experience of her seeing us coming out of the bathroom together. I’m sure she already assumes we’re sleeping together since she gave us the guest room. But I’d rather not confirm her suspicions, you know?”

            “Mhm, I agree,” Kageyama said. Hinata pressed one final kiss to his lips before getting off entirely. “Can I shower first?”

            “Yeah sure, I’m going to go use my mom’s bathroom anyway,” Hinata said pulling on his briefs and a t-shirt. He grabbed a clean towel and took his clean clothes and walked out of the room. Kageyama slipped on his pajama pants and a t-shirt before grabbing his own towel and clean clothes and walking down the hall into the bathroom.

            Taking his time in the shower, Kageyama came out dressed and clean about 20 minutes later. Placing his wet towel in the hamper as instructed last night by Yuki, Kageyama walked towards the guest room to put away his clothes. Just as he went to open the door he heard Hinata talking.

            “...yeah he’ll be there... of course I want everyone to meet him... yes I’m serious...” Hinata was saying to someone on the phone. Kageyama pressed the door open slightly to better hear what he was saying. “...yeah I know but I spend all my time with him and it’s not like I don’t miss you... it’s just one night... yes he’s different than you were but- no I don’t think so...yeah I think I am, or I will be soon at least... no he doesn’t know that yet, but I feel like he will find out eventually...he’s kind of dense but he’s not stupid... I’ll tell him when it’s the right time... yeah I know right...ok I’ll see you later... bye.” He hung up and Kageyama couldn’t breathe.

            _What was that? Who was he talking to? I’m usually not the jealous type but... what if he was talking to that Kozume guy? They seemed to be making plans; making plans and talking about me. Is Hinata going to go and stay with this guy? But then why would he bring me here if he was just going to cheat on me? Am I reading into this?_

“Hey are you just going to stand there staring into space the whole time?” Hinata said breaking him from his trance. Kageyama jumped and opened the door more stumbling into the room. “Good job klutz,” Hinata laughed as Kageyama righted himself. “Hey did you bring those black pants you have? You know the black skinny jeans with the patch at the knee? The ones that I told you that make your butt look really good?”

            “Um, yes,” Kageyama said puzzled and slightly embarrassed. He went into his bag and pulled out the folded pants and showed them to Hinata who nodded. “Why?”

            “Cause we’re going out tonight,” Hinata smirked. Kageyama grimaced, putting the jeans away. “Oh come on, don’t give me that. I want you to meet some of my friends. And it’ll be fun.”

            “Fun is relative,” Kageyama muttered putting away his pajamas. “What are we doing then that’s going to be so fun?” he sighed.

            “Well we are going to meet up with two of my friends, Izumi and Kouji, they are going to meet us at a local restaurant for diner. And then we’re all going out to a club,” Kageyama groaned which Hinata ignored, “where we’ll meet my other friend Kenma. And from there we’ll see where the night takes us.”

            “So I needed pants that made my butt look good because...?” Kageyama asked looking for reasoning in Hinata’s thinking.

            “Because we’re going out and I’m showing you off,” he said grabbing Kageyama’s butt. “Not that you need much help to look sexy.”

            “Flattery doesn’t work on me,” Kageyama said rolling his eyes and pushing Hinata’s arm away, but he couldn’t help the small blush that tinted his cheeks.

            “Of course not,” Hinata said jokingly. “Wait! Didn’t you say you had a present for me? Or did you literally just mean birthday sex was my present? Which, can I say for the record, that I am 100% ok with, especially after that demonstration of your oral skills.”

            “Um, no. I did get you an actual gift,” Kageyama said shaking his head at Hinata’s ridiculousness. He bent down and reached into his bag and pulled out a small box.

            “Oh my god Kageyama are you going to propose!?” Hinata squawked jokingly. Kageyama hit him in the arm.

            “Don’t be an asshole,” Kageyama said rolling his eyes. “Just take the fucking box,” Kageyama growled shoving the box in a laughing Hinata’s hand. Hinata giggled as he unwrapped the shinny gold wrapping paper and slid off the lid of the box. He gingerly moved aside the tissue paper revealing the glimmering gift underneath. Hinata stared wide-eyed into the box for a few silent moments as Kageyama watched him; nervous and growing more insecure in his gift choice by the millisecond.

            “It-it’s just... I don’t know, I thought maybe you’d- but if you think it’s stupid,” Kageyama rambled nervously rubbing the back of his neck, “I can always get you something else I’ll just fi-”

            “It’s gorgeous,” Hinata breathed reverently. He looked up at Kageyama who was still red faced and nervous. “I love it.” Hinata gingerly picked up a thin golden chain out of the box. Hanging from the chain was a golden pendent of a sun and moon intertwined to create one full design. Hinata put the box down on the bed and gently placed the necklace in the palm of his hand, his finger tracing the design. “Is it one piece?”

            “Uh, no actually it’s two pieces,” Kageyama said bringing his hands up to show Hinata. He felt his large tattooed hands dwarf Hinata’s in close comparison. Kageyama tried to delicately pull apart the pieces of the sun and the moon to show Hinata they were separate but found it difficult with his hands shaking.

            “Are you nervous Kageyama?” Hinata whispered. Kageyama refused to look at Hinata’s face but he could hear the smile in his voice as he gently put it back together.

            “Um, a bit,” Kageyama murmured under his breath. “See, there are two parts, the sun and the moon. The sun reminded me of your bakery and I... well never mind,” he said dropping his hands to his hands.

            “No, come on tell me,” Hinata said gently. Kageyama glanced up at Hinata’s smiling face. “Please?”

            “...I thought maybe...” Kageyama said looking back down at the necklace. “Since you’re the Sun that... the part that it fits so well with... the moon... could be me.” He quickly glanced up at Hinata’s face and saw a blank expression. “It was stupid, never mind. It’s just a necklace, don’t look too much into it,” he quickly backtracked folding his arms and looking away.

            “The moon to my sun,” Hinata said, soft-spoken and awed. “That’s beautiful, Tobio.” Kageyama looked over at Hinata, his face blushing and heating up. “I love it, and it’s perfect. Can you help me put it on?”

            “Ye-yeah,” Kageyama said snapping out of his daze. With a shaky hand, Kageyama took the chain gently from Hinata’s hand and opened up the clasp. Hinata turned so Kageyama could put it around his neck. Kageyama delicately clasped the necklace behind Hinata’s neck. Hinata turned back around, looking at Kageyama so warmly, Kageyama had to look away.

            “Thank you Tobio,” Hinata said softly. Kageyama gave him a small smile as Hinata brushed his hand across Kageyama’s cheek. He leaned down and gave Hinata a small sweet kiss that he tried to pour all of how he was feeling into. They pulled back, just content to be with each other for the moment. Kageyama leaned back and cleared his throat.

            “Come on, lets go down stairs before Aiko wakes up. I want you to meet my sister,” Hinata said putting the pendant under his shirt. Kageyama audibly gulped, remembering the conversation he over heard only a little over an hour ago. “Relax, you’ll be fine. She’ll love you- actually,” Hinata said taking a step back and looking at him up and down.

            “What?” Kageyama said self-consciously, looking down at his body. He didn’t think he put on anything ridiculous. He was wearing a pair of dark grey jeans and a long sleeve black shirt. It was nice, but not out of the ordinary of his regular clothes. “Is there something wrong with what I’m wearing?” he asked. Hinata looked up at his face tracing across his features “Is there something on my face?” Kageyama asked bringing his hand to his face.

            “No, there’s nothing wrong,” Hinata said pensively. “You actually look too attractive,” he said with concern. Kageyama scoffed and shoved his shoulder.

            “Dumbass, I thought something was actually wrong,” Kageyama huffed fighting off embarrassment.

            “This is wrong,” Hinata said rubbing his arm laughing. “Natsu might actually like you.”

            “Well...isn’t that a good thing?” Kageyama said confused.  “You want her to like me right? Wasn’t that the point of me coming on this trip?”

            “That wasn’t the type of ‘like’ I was thinking of,” Hinata said knowingly. He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. “Oh well, you’re gay so I don’t care,” he said walking out of the room.

            “I thought that much was obvious,” Kageyama sarcastically as he followed him out. Despite his bravado, Kageyama was extremely nervous. He couldn’t exactly tell what Hinata’s relationship with that Kozume guy was, but whatever it was Natsu was comparing them. It only served to make him more anxious about meeting her.

            “Hey Natsu are you in the kitchen?” Hinata called when they reached the bottom of the steps. He grabbed a hold of Kageyama’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers and led him into kitchen.

            “Yeah I’m here,” Natsu called back. When they walked into the kitchen she had her back to them, making herself a mug of tea. “I’m going to jump on you and hug you in one second let me just finish this one thing.” Kageyama looked at her from behind. She had the same wild ginger hair that Hinata had, but mellower somehow; it was tied up in two buns at the top of her head with delicate tendrils escaping framing her face. She seemed to be about the same height as Hinata, if just a bit shorter.

            “Yeah, Natsu if you could turn around for just a second, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend,” Hinata said shaking his head. Natsu paused in her movements and turned around quickly. Hinata looked at her with a smug face as she stared at Kageyama. “Kageyama this is my sister, Natsu; Natsu this is my boyfriend, Kageyama.”

            “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Kageyama said nervously, trying to give Natsu what he hoped was a pleasant smile. She just stared at him.

            “Damn,” she muttered staring at him. Kageyama glanced at Hinata confused, but Hinata was just smirking smugly.

            “I know,” Hinata said squaring his shoulders. “He’s hot right?” Kageyama sputtered inelegantly.

            “Just damn,” Natsu said shaking her head. “So unfair Shouyou.”

            “I try,” Hinata said withdrawing his hand from Kageyama’s to walk over to his sister. “Hey Natsu,” he said pulling her into a hug.

            “Happy Birthday Shou,” Natsu said tightly hugging him back. Kageyama awkwardly stood behind them. He watched them embrace, Hinata lifting up his sister in a tight hug before setting her down again.

            “Oh, you guys are awake,” Yuki said from the doorway. Kageyama turned around to see Yuki standing behind him looking between him and Hinata. “I was just looking for you, I think Aiko is awake.” Kageyama thanked her and excused himself, going up the stairs to Hinata’s old room where Aiko was staying.

            Gently pushing the door open, Kageyama walked in quietly. He looked over at the bed where Aiko sat up rubbing her eyes. She looked up and when she saw her dad, her face lit up in a smile. He walked over to her and sat on the bed next to her.

            “Morning Belly,” he said brushing her hair back. “Did you sleep ok?”

            “Mhm,” she said crawling into his lap. “I had a bad dream though. But I didn’t want to wake you daddy.” He looked down at her with concern wrapping his arms around her.

            “You had a bad dream?” he asked concerned. “You know you can always come to me if you have a bad dream. Even if I’m asleep, you just wake me up, ok?”

            “I know,” she said yawning. “But I know you don’t sleep much any more. I didn’t want to make you not sleep.” Kageyama stared down at her, feeling guilty. Not only had he been worrying Hinata but now even his daughter had started to notice that he wasn’t the same.

            “But that doesn’t matter,” Kageyama said brushing her hair out from her face. “You just come and wake me up no matter what ok? I’ll be fine.” She gave him a nod as she gave him a kiss on the cheek and got off his lap.

            “I need the bathroom,” she said stepping onto the floor. Kageyama nodded and took her hand, leading her to the bathroom. As he waited outside the door for her, he saw Hinata come up the stairs.

            “Hey where’s Aiko? I want my sister to meet her,” Hinata said as he came to the second floor landing.

            “The bathroom, she’ll be out in a minute,” Kageyama said tilting his head towards the door. “Um, speaking of your sister... did she er, say anything about me or...? What was that whole thing about?” he asked self-consciously. He desperately wanted to ask about Kozume but he knew that this wasn’t the time at all.

            “Wasn’t it obvious?” Hinata said incredulously. Kageyama shrugged, shaking his head. “She thought you were hot. I mean, she’s not wrong.” Kageyama rolled his eyes. “What? It’s true. She wants to talk to you though, get to know you. She tried to convince me that she should tag along tonight to better get to know you, but I told her absolutely not.”

            “Good thinking,” Kageyama said as the bathroom door opened.

            “Hinata! Good morning,” Aiko said brightly as she dried her hands on her pajama shirt. She threw her arms up towards him as Hinata bent down to pick her up.

            “Hey, morning Muffin,” Hinata said happily kissing her cheek. “How’d you sleep in my old room? Did any of my old monsters get to you?” he teased jokingly, but Aiko nodded her head meekly. “What? Oh no, I didn’t think they’d actually get to you. Come on lets go make sure they’re gone now.” Hinata walked towards his room carrying Aiko in his arms. Kageyama went to follow when he felt a hand on his arm.

            “Hey, now that Shou is distracted, lets chat,” Natsu said smiling up at Kageyama. He took a deep nervous breath. Nodding shakily, he followed her down the stairs in the dining room.

            “Where’s your mom?” he asked nervously, looking around for Yuki’s friendly face.

            “She went out to the supermarket to get stuff for Shouyou’s birthday lunch,” Natsu said sitting down at the head of the table. She gestured for Kageyama to sit to her right. He sat down warily.

            _Even though she’s much younger than Hinata, she looks so much like him it’s weird. They could be twins._

“So,” she began, Kageyama tensed in his seat, “you’re Shou’s new boyfriend.” Kageyama felt like it sounded more like a statement than a question. He nodded agreeing.

“How old are you?”

            “Tw-twenty six,” he said awkwardly, she nodded seeming to take in the information.

            “Do you have a job?” she questioned.

            “Um, yes,” he said. “I’m a tattooist. I work near Hi-Shouyou’s bakery.”

            “And your daughter,” she said, “how old is she?”

            “Four,” he said growing concerned at this line of questioning. “Her name is Aiko.”

            “Were you married?” she asked.

            “What? No,” he said confused.

            “Do you do, and/or have you, ever done drugs?” she asked expectantly.

            “Well I mean, in college- but it was minor stuff. But not anymore, I have a small child,” he said nervously. “What are all these questions for?”

            “I’m trying to know things about you,” she shrugged. “Shou is my only brother. I’m rather protective of him.”

            “That’s good,” he said cautiously.

            “Yeah so I’m trying to get a gauge on you,” she said narrowing her eye’s at him and leaning forward on the table. “Shouyou and my mom aren’t always the best judge of character,” she said. “Far too trusting.”

            “I would never do anything to hurt him,” Kageyama said seriously.

            “Well that’s good to know,” she said sitting back in her chair. “Honestly when I first saw you I thought you were some delinquent.” Kageyama tightened his jaw, biting his tongue. “I mean, like way too hot for Shouyou, but a delinquent none the less. Its’ the neck tattoo.”

            “I’m a tattooist,” Kageyama said trying to keep his voice even. “If I didn’t have obvious tattoos no one would have faith in my skills.”

            “Oh I totally understand,” she said. “Look, I really don’t have a problem with you, it’s more of Shouyou. I don’t really trust him.”

            “Why is that?” Kageyama asked curious.

            “Because he’s a moron,” she laughed. Kageyama couldn’t help but smile. “See, you know. He’s a sweet moron, but a moron none the less.”

            “I don’t think he’s a moron,” Kageyama said. “Why do you think he’s a moron?”

            “Because- and don’t tell Shouyou I’m telling you this because he would kill me,” Natsu said seriously. Kageyama nodded earnestly and she continued. “His last relationship, which I doubt he’s told you much about, but it was...” she paused trying to figure out how to phrase it. Kageyama tensed in his seat uncomfortably. “I thought it was going to be like the one, you know?” Kageyama’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. “But he just ended it one day saying that it really wasn’t as serious as everyone thought it was.”

            “Why?” Kageyama asked thickly.

            “No idea,” Natsu said shaking her head. “But after they broke up they remained friends.”

            “But... that doesn’t make him a moron,” Kageyama said feeling better. “I’m still friends with my ex. I mean, I’m gay and she’s a girl so there would be nothing, you know, there between us, but you can remain friends with an ex.”

            “That’s different,” Natsu said. “This guy is still so obviously and hopelessly in love with Shouyou. It might not have been serious to Shou, but it was to him.”

            “Ok,” Kageyama said trying to digest that. “And you think that’ll happen again?” he asked carefully.

            “Honestly, no,” she said. “He’s never brought someone home so soon.”

            “So, that’s good right?” Kageyama said trying to make sense of it all. “That means he’s serious?”

            “I think so,” Natsu said. “But I don’t know, sometimes he’s weird.”

            “Hey what are you guys chatting about?” Hinata said walking into the dinning room with Aiko still in his arms. “Talking about me?”

            “Yes, we’re talking about how much we hate you,” Natsu said. “Is this, Aiko?” she asked pointing to the small child in his arms.

            “Oh yes! I almost forgot to introduce you,” Hinata said adjusting Aiko in his arms. “Natsu, this is Aiko, Kageyama’s beautiful muffin of a daughter. Aiko, this is my sister.” Aiko smiled at her nervously in a way the made Kageyama’s stomach clench; _sometimes she reminds me of myself._

            “Hi there,” Natsu said standing up to greet her. “I’ve heard so much about you, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

            “It’s nice to meet you too,” Aiko said shyly. “Um... Hinata told me you liked to draw.”

            “That’s true,” Natsu said smiling. “I draw and paint all the time too. Actually I go to school for art. Would you like to see some of my works?” Aiko nodded enthusiastically climbing out of Hinata’s grasp. “Here come, I have a pile of paintings in my room.” Natsu said taking Aiko’s hand and leading her towards the stairs.

            “So,” Hinata said leaning against Kageyama. “What were you guys actually talking about?” Kageyama looked up at him, hoping all of the nervousness and apprehension from his previous conversation had left his face.

            “You know,” he shrugged. “She was trying to get to know me a little bit,” he said winding his arm around Hinata’s waist.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god ok so much to say and again, i hope i don't forget anything. 
> 
> first, I really hope i can answer everyone's messages both here and on tumblr. if anyone still doesn't have my tumblr its [right here](http://accordingtomyresearch.tumblr.com/) and i try to answer everything even if just a comment, but i also answer any questions on literally anything (to those who i've answered, you probably got more information than you wanted and i'm sorry lol) 
> 
> second, THERE IS FANART I REPEAT THERE IS F A N A R T  and it's so gorgeous and i love it so much and it's just so FREAKING CUTE and i screamed it's fine, i'm fine. well i'm as fine as kageyama is... that was mean sorry
> 
> third, i'm going to try to be more consistent about the updates now that comic con is over (i'm dead but it was amazing) 
> 
> fourth, DID YOU SEE THE SECOND EPISODE??? YACHI WAS SO CUTE I'M DEAD AND KAGEHINA IS STILL SO REAL
> 
> and lastly, this is a chapter that formally introduces two characters; one of which you are anticipating and the other... well let's just say that it wasn't a big surprise that i put him in here because i just love my peripheral ships and i love the d r a m a. there's a lot more angst to come guys so buckle up.

           

* * *

            “You look fine, stop fiddling with your shirt,” Hinata said lightly slapping Kageyama hands that were adjusting the shoulders of his shirt as they stood on line outside the club.

            “This is why I don’t wear this shirt,” Kageyama said rolling his shoulders. “Or shirts like this in general. The seams at the shoulders are weird.”

            “Ok, but what if I said you look really sexy in that shirt,” Hinata whispered leaning into him. Kageyama looked down at his dark blue button down that was folded up at the elbow and tucked into the black skinny jeans that Hinata made him wear.

            “Doesn’t make it not annoying,” Kageyama grumbled continuing to roll his shoulders. Hinata just shook his head at him, intertwining their fingers as he turned to see his two friends Izumi and Kouji making disgusted faces at them.

            “Ew guys,” Kouji said looking over at Izumi who was making an equally playfully uncomfortable face. “You guys are being so cute I’m going to throw up.”

            “Oh leave them alone, they’re in love,” Izumi said elbowing his friend. Kageyama and Hinata both froze at that. Looking away from each other, quickly they retracted their hands, and squirmed uncomfortably where they stood. Izumi and Kouji hadn’t seemed to notice their sudden awkwardness. “You’re just jealous because you and Mayu are so like an old married couple you don’t do the ‘oh everything is perfect’ anymore,” Izumi teased Kouji.

            “Yeah well, she is perfect I just don’t have to tell her anymore,” Kouji said haughtily. “Hey Shou, where’s Kenma? Didn’t you say he was coming?” he said changing the subject. He craned his neck to look over the line of people behind him.

            “He texted me a few minutes ago saying he was almost here,” Hinata said pulling out his phone. “Oh wait he’s calling me,” he said putting the phone to his ear. “Hey... yeah we’re on line towards the front... because we didn’t bring girls with us... ok but remember last time we went to a specifically gay club... well exactly, that’s why... I think I see you... oh I see you I’m hanging up.” Hinata ended the call and stuffed the phone into his back pocket, waving at a figure that was walking towards them. Kageyama watched as a guy, a little bit taller than Hinata walked over to them.

            “Kenma!” Hinata shouted waving over to him leaning over the rope that held the line. “Hey Kenma we’re over here!” As he walked closer Kageyama got a better look at him. His roots were growing out incredibly long, going almost all the way to the top of his ears, but most of his hair was pulled up into a bun behind him. He wore tight, slightly ripped green jeans, with a tight button up short sleeve black shirt that was buttoned up all the way to the top and tucked into his pants. He sauntered over, in no rush despite Hinata frantically calling over to him.

            “Kenma!” Hinata shouted excitedly as Kenma went under the rope to join them in line. Hinata pulled him into a crushing hug.

            “Happy Birthday Shouyou,” Kenma said calmly as he hugged Hinata back. “Sorry it took me so long to get here, the trains weren’t running properly.”

            “It’s no problem, I’m just glad you’re here,” Hinata smiled happily pulling back from the hug. “I haven’t seen you in so long, I’ve missed you so much!”

            “Hey!” Kouji said feigning hurt. “You didn’t say that to us!”

            “Well, I actually see you more often,” Hinata explained waving him off. “But Kenma lives so far away, I barely get to hang out with him.”

            “Not to mention he never leaves his house,” Izumi joked. Kenma just shrugged acceptingly.

            “But you’re here now and that’s what matters,” Hinata said beaming up at him. Kageyama stood to his side awkwardly watching the whole intersection, waiting for a moment to be introduced. “Even if he never does leave his house.”

            “I left it for your birthday to come to _a club,_ ” he said with contempt. Hinata just smiled at him like he said something sweet. Kenma’s eyes glanced over at Kageyama, who flushed under his intense gaze. “Um Shouyou, aren’t you going to introduce us?” he asked, his eyes flickering back to Hinata.

            “Oh right, I almost forgot,” Hinata said snapping out of his daze, putting his hand on Kageyama’s arm. “This is my boyfriend, Kageyama.” Kenma made no attempts to shake his hand or great him.

            “Hello,” he said congenially giving him a quick uncomfortable smile. Slightly unnerved, Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows at him but he could help it.

            “Hey,” Kageyama said after a nudge from Hinata. Feeling more uncomfortable then he’d been all night, Kageyama stood slightly behind Hinata as he and Kenma talked. At several points, Kouji and Izumi tried to initiate conversation with him, but his unfortunate monosyllabic answers ended all attempts. By the time they had reached the front of the line, Kageyama wanted to leave.

            “Sorry, guys we only have room for two right now,” the bouncer said as they went to go in.

            “But we’re a group of five, we have to all go in at the same time,” Hinata said trying to reason with the bouncer.

            “Well, either two of you go in now and wait for the other three, or I let two other people in and you all wait even longer,” the bouncer said indifferently.

            “Hinata you should go in,” Izumi said. “I don’t mind waiting outside for a little bit longer.”

            “You sure?” Hinata asked. He looked between Kouji and Izumi who both nodded. “Ok,” said glancing at Kageyama who didn’t say anything. Kageyama watched as an emotion he couldn’t place crossed Hinata’s face before he turned to Kenma. “Kozume, come on lets go in. I’m going to need extra time if I’m going to get you drunk.”

            “Whatever,” Kenma said following Hinata into the club. The open door released the sound of blasting music that was immediately silenced by the close of the door. Kageyama’s stomach felt like a lead brick. He stood there wishing he wasn’t the designated driver for the night. He wished he could run past the bouncer and go in with Hinata. He wished he realized sooner that Kozume and Kenma were the same person.

            “They seem,” Kageyama began turning to Izumi and Kouji, “close.” The two exchanged a quick look that didn’t go unnoticed by Kageyama.

            “They are,” Izumi said carefully. Kageyama quirked his eyebrow before turning back around. He could feel their eyes staring holes into his back. He rolled his shoulders again uncomfortably, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. Kageyama stood there for a few minutes contemplating if he could leave and not be missed when the bouncer told them three that they could now go in.

            “Finally!” Kouji shouted clasping his hands together excitedly as they walked past a gaggle of giggling girls in the tight hallway toward the blasting music.

            “What are you so excited for? You have a girlfriend,” Izumi said shouting to be heard over the music.

            “I might not be able to check out the books, but I can still peruse the library,” Kouji said smirking. Izumi just rolled his eyes at him, shaking his head.

            As they walked through the main doorway, the sounds of blasting music evolved into a throbbing, pulsating room filled in both volume and sound. He could feel the bass in his lungs as he craned his neck over the hoards of people grinding and moving in every available space. He searched by the bar, getting a glimpse of orange in the sea of darks and neutrals.

            “Hey guys I think I found them,” Kageyama shouted at them behind him.

            “Ok,” Kouji shouted. “I’m going to get us some drinks, we’ll meet you over there.”

            He started in the direction where he saw the orange and began his slow descent there, squeezing and pushing his way through people. By the time Kageyama caught a clearer glimpse of the back of Hinata’s head, he had already wanted to be out of that place. Pushing past a final group of several very drunk girls, Kageyama sighed as he walked over to the tiny table Hinata and Kenma were standing at. “Hey,” he said placing his hand on the small of Hinata’s back.

            “Hey watch it I ha- Oh wait it’s you,” Hinata said laughing. “I was about to tell you that I have a boyfriend, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

            “I have known that for a little while,” Kageyama said trying to force a smile. Gratefully, though the bass of the music was making his lungs jump, the volume of the music was just low enough at this end of the club that they didn’t have to shout too loud.

            “Where Izumi and Kouji?” Hinata asked looking behind him.

            “Getting drinks,” Kageyama said adjusting where he was standing at the table as people pushed by him. He looked down at the small table in front of him and saw the slightly rose colored drink in Hinata’s hands. “But I see you already got a drink.”

            “Yeah some girl bought it for me,” Hinata said taking a sip of it. “She overheard me on line before saying it was my birthday and she offered to get me a drink. Vodka cranberry,” he said smirking up at Kageyama. “But Kenma over there,” Hinata said pointing over to him, Kageyama looked over at him and saw the two drinks in front of him. “He got two drinks already. One from a girl, one from a guy. I don’t know how he does it.”

            “It’s because I’m sexy,” Kenma said with a straight face taking a sip from the emptier cup. Hinata just laughed as Kenma showed no indication that he was joking. “You want my other one Kageyama? It’s a rum and coke.”

            “Um, no thanks,” Kageyama said putting his hand up. “Plus, I’m the one driving home anyway.” Kenma just shrugged and finished his first cup and slid the full one over to Hinata. “Happy Birthday.”

            “Thanks, I love getting your left overs,” Hinata said sarcastically but took the drink anyway. “Thanks for being the driver by the way, Kageyama. You’re probably the only I can trust to not wreck my car. Although I do wish you were drinking, I’d love to see you completely smashed.”

            “I’m not a fun drunk anyway,” Kageyama said dismissively. “I’m a ‘crying and emotional, clingy’ kind of drunk. No fun at parties.”

            “That still sounds awesome,” Hinata said taking a huge gulp of his second drink. “I absolutely want to see that some day.”

            “Guess who has shots!?” Kouji shouted as he and Izumi got to the table. They slammed down 5 shot glasses filled to the brim with amber liquid on the table. “Come on birthday tequila shots lets go!”

            “Here the bartender gave me a small salt shaker and some lime slices,” Izumi said placing a small plate with that on the table.

            “Oh I’m not drinking” Kageyama said seeing 5 shots.

            “Come on!” Kouji said. “One shot, that’s it for the whole night. No way that’ll make you unable to drive. Plus we just ate.”

            “It was like an hour ago,” Kageyama said trying to get out of it. But 3 out of 4 faces were giving him pleading looks and he eventually relented. “Fine, one.”

            “Yes!” Hinata said happily moving closer to Kageyama so they could all crowd around the small table. They each took a glass and placed it in front of them. Making their hands into a slight fist, they each licked the skin next to the thumb and took turns shaking salt onto the wet skin. Once they were salted, they each turn a lime slice in hand.

            “Ok, ready?” Kouji said looking around at everyone. They nodded their heads. “Go!” he shouted. Licking the salt off their hands, they then picked up the shot glass and drank it in one go, before bringing the lime slice to their mouth and sucking on it.  

            “Gah, I hate tequila,” Izumi shivered as he took the lime out of his mouth. Kageyama put his lime slice back on the plate feeling a bit better. He looked over at Hinata who was giggling at Kenma’s face.

            “Sorry, Kenma but your puckered up face was so funny,” Hinata giggled. “You should have seen it, it was hilarious. Kageyama, di-did you see it?”

            “Nope, must have missed it,” he said wiping his still salvia covered hand on the back of his pants. “I’m going to go get a glass of water ok? I’ll be right back,” Kageyama told Hinata who instructed him to get him ‘ a mojito but make sure they put extra mint in it’ to which he agreed to get for him. He made his way back to the bar and after over 5 minutes of waiting and waving to the bartender he finally got one of their attentions.

            “Finally,” he mumbled when the girl bartender walked over and nodded to him. “Can have a mojito and a glass of ice water please?” While waitress set out making the drink, Kageyama leaned on the bar, being pushed up against it uncomfortably by the pushing crowd of people behind him. Frowning at the magnitude of people swarming him and the bar, Kageyama sighed heavily as he watched the bartender make his drink.

            “You look really uncomfortable,” said a cheerful voice from next to him. Kageyama turned to see a slightly taller, handsome guy with auburn hair and a sunny smile leaning to his right against the bar.

            “Was that supposed to make me less uncomfortable?” Kageyama asked turning towards him a little bit.

            “No, it was just an observation,” he smirked. Kageyama frowned deeper. “Do you usually not come to bars or clubs?”

            “Um, no not really,” Kageyama sighed. “Is it that obvious?”

            “Yeah a little bit,” the guy chuckled; Kageyama gave him a half-hearted smile.

            “You can tell because the people who never really go out usually are always uncomfortable with the crowds at the bar,” he said gesturing to the hoard of people around the bar.

            “Yeah I’m definitely uncomfortable,” Kageyama said looking behind him. The waitress slid his drinks over to him and Kageyama gave her his card. “I guess you’re not one of those ‘never go out’ people since you can spot them in a crowd?”

            “Unfortunately I am,” he said shrugging. The waitress came over with Kageyama’s card and a receipt to sign. “Although this is kind of a last hurrah for me...” he glance at Kageyama’s signature, “...Tobio.” Kageyama looked over at him. “Oikawa,” the guy said putting out his hand.

            “Kageyama,” he said shaking his hand.

            “So Tobio,” he said moving his finger against the rim of his glass, “what made you come out to the club when you obviously don’t often?”

            “Um, it’s my boyfriends birthday,” Kageyama said putting away his card.

            “Ah, boyfriend,” Oikawa repeated disappointed. “I should have seen that coming.”

            “Oh sorry, I didn’t even realize-” Kageyama said now understanding he was being flirted with.

            “No, no it’s fine,” Oikawa said waving his hand. “The hot ones are always taken,” he said smirking up at Kageyama who blushed instantly at his comment.

            “Uh, well...” Kageyama said flushing, “I’m going to walk away now.” Kageyama picked up the two glasses and with a short nod from Oikawa he made his way back to Hinata, trying not to spill his drinks.

            “There you are!” Hinata said excitedly when Kageyama finally reached the table. “Oh you have my drink! Ugh yes, you’re the best boyfriend ever,” he said taking the cup and drinking from it happily.

            “I know,” Kageyama said watching Hinata drink. “Are you going to be in need of anything else?” he asked.

            “I can think of a few things,” Hinata said slurring his words under the influence of the alcohol. He wound his arm around Kageyama’s waist sticking his hand in the right back pockets of his jeans. Kageyama just rolled his eyes at him, smiling slightly at his inebriated boyfriend. “Come dance with me,” he all but breathed leaning upward into Kageyama’s ear.

            “Um, I’ll pass for now,” Kageyama said kissing him on his head. “I’ll um, stay with the table. Dancing’s not really... my thing.”

            “Are you sure?” Hinata said looking up at him. Kageyama gave him a small smile and a reassuring nod. Hinata withdrew his hand from Kageyama’s back pocket and tried to drink the rest of his drink. “Ok then, I’ll be back. It’s my birthday, and I’m going to dance. Whoever wants to come with me can come.” Kageyama watched as Kenma and Kouji followed him out onto the dance floor but Izumi stayed behind.

            “You’re not going go to dance?” Kageyama asked him taking a sip of his water. Izumi took a sip of his beer shaking his head.

            “No, I’m going to go over at talk to that girl who’s been staring at me this whole time,” he said gesturing over to a petite brunette who quickly looked away. He picked up his beer and walked towards her. Kageyama sighed, rolling his glass in his hands.

            _They’ll probably get so drunk soon they’ll need to leave. We’ll be out within the hour, tops._


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are hilarious. all of your reactions were the same and i love it. everyone basically went like  
> "DONT YOU FCUKING DARE!" and i'm just basking in the glow of my evilness.
> 
> i don't know what i did to make you guys freak out so much? i only introduced two characters whom i love and are integral to the future plot. is that so bad? what could possibly go wrong? 
> 
> all jokes aside, this chapter is like really dark. it begins...

           

* * *

            They were not done in an hour. In fact, over an hour and a half later Hinata showed no signs of stopping. He and Kouji had already chugged 2 beers, done another round of shots with Kenma and was in process of downing another drink from another woman who claimed ‘she’d turned gay men straight before and she could do it again’ to which Kageyama seemed apprehensive. Needless to say, Hinata was well and truly, drunk.

            Kageyama watched as Hinata danced with an equally drunk Kenma. Between the flashing of the lights, Kageyama would only see glimpses of them dancing; Kenma’s hand on Hinata’s side, then his hand on Hinata’s waist, then the two of them pressed close moving sloppily to the music. He couldn’t help but feel a niggle as Kenma pulled Hinata close on the dance floor.

            “So where’s this boyfriend you came out here for?” Oikawa said coming to stand next to him. He gave him a small smile as he scanned the crowd.

            “He’s over there dancing,” Kageyama said pointing toward Hinata who was dancing outrageously with Kenma. “The one with the ginger hair.”

            “Oh, damn, he’s cute,” Oikawa said disappointedly. Kageyama raised his eyebrow at him. “I don’t know, I was hoping he was ugly so I still had a chance to sweep you off your feet.”

            “Um, no,” Kageyama said finishing his second glass of water. “I’m not a ‘swept off their feet’ kind of guy anyway.”

            “Well there’s a first time for everything right?” Oikawa said. Kageyama just looked at him intensely, not responding. “So how old is your cute boyfriend turning?” Oikawa said changing the subject.

            “He’s 27 today, though sometimes I swear he’s 7,” Kageyama said looking back over at Hinata. “But, whatever, he’s great,” he said with a small smile.

            “I’m sure he is,” Oikawa said taking a sip of his beer. “So tell me about you.”

            “Um, there’s not a lot to tell,” Kageyama said shrugging dismissively.

            “Oh I’m sure that’s not true,” Oikawa said leaning forward. “Here I have an idea,” he said standing up straighter, “We’re practically complete strangers so how about you tell me something you’ve never told anyone and I tell you something I’ve never told anyone. That way you’re telling me about you but with no consequences. We’ll probably never see each other again.”

            “I don’t know,” Kageyama frowned, his eyes searching for Hinata in the crowd again. He caught sight of Hinata and Kenma flush up against one another moving sinuously to the music. He felt a weird pulling and tightening in his gut as he looked away. “Fine.”

            “Awesome, I’ll go first,” Oikawa said leaning on the table a bit more. “Hmm, lets see. Ok I know, I’ve never been out of the country, and I’m 31.”

            “Wow really?” Kageyama said. “Hmm, ok... I’ve never had a pet, even when I was little.”

            “Not even like a little gold fish, Tobio?” Oikawa asked surprised. “Ok well, hmm let’s see... oh I’m kind of obsessed with aliens. I try not to tell people that cause they’ll think I’m crazy.”

            “I don’t thing you’re crazy,” Kageyama said shifting to stand more comfortably. “Um ok, I’m... really in romance novels. I read one once when I broke my leg in high school when there was nothing else to do and I loved it so much that I read another and another and it just kind of spiraled out of control.”

            “Oh my god that’s so cute,” Oikawa cooed which made Kageyama smirk and roll his eyes. “Ok um... I’ve never known anyone who’s died. Even both sets of grandparents are still alive.” Kageyama felt his face drop. His mind was no longer in the game, but filled with images of blue eyes and bluer skin. The words were out of his mouth before he could even stop them.

            “I watched my mom die when I was eight years old,” Kageyama breathed. “She asphyxiated in front of me at home. She had a minor infection that escalated which caused her body to go into sepsis, which then led to her having acute respiratory distress syndrome. She turned blue.” The mood at sufficiently darkened. They stood there silently while the thumping music was a blaring contrast to the pronounced quiet they were in. Kageyama looked down at his hands playing with the edge of his cup glass.

            “Oh Tobio,” Oikawa said in a subdued voice, “I am so sorry for your loss.” Kageyama looked up at him as he placed a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. “No one should have to watch someone die like that. I’m sorry I made you bring that up, it’s obviously still painful part of your life for you.”

            “It’s fine,” Kageyama lied. He took a deep breath bringing his hand up to rub his face; he hadn’t realized he started crying. “Wow I’m sorry, I’m a mess suddenly. That’s literally so weird because I’m never like this.”

            “Its ok,” Oikawa said rubbing his arm. “I think we sometimes hide the parts us that we deem unworthy of surfacing, but those tend to be the parts that bob to the surface.” Kageyama nodded, smiling at him appreciatively.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said sighing. “I honestly have never told anyone that before. In my life.” Oikawa gave his arm a friendly squeeze.

            “And you said there was nothing to tell,” Oikawa teased softly. Kageyama just gave him a small smile.

            “Kageyama!” Hinata voice shouted behind them breaking whatever moment they were having. “Ka-Kageyama!”

            “Yeah what is it?” Kageyama asked gently turning around to face Hinata who was swaying drunkenly behind him.

            “I’m think- I thinking we should probably be at home now,” Hinata slurred his eyes closing slightly. Kageyama caught him as he swayed dangerously to the left. “I’m old-old ‘nuff to know when that I’m needing home.”

            “I think that going home would be best. yeah,” Kageyama said hoisting him up right. “It was nice to meet you,” he said turning toward Oikawa. “Sorry for... but thanks,” Kageyama said smiling gratefully at him.

            “It was nice to meet you too, Tobio,” Oikawa said. “And who knows, maybe we’ll cross paths again.”

            “Maybe yeah,” Kageyama said. He offered him a wave goodbye as he made it through the crowd of people, tapping Kenma on the shoulder who was coming out of the bathroom on the way out.

            “Where’s Izumi and Kouji?” Kageyama asked Kenma as they walked out of the club.

            “Kouji left a little while ago, something about an argument and his girlfriend,” Kenma said obviously not as drunk as Hinata. “And Izumi texted me like ten minutes ago saying he was leaving with some girl and not to wait up for him.”

            “Oh ok,” Kageyama said getting to the car. He unlocked it and opened the back door and gingerly placed Hinata in and buckled him in listening to him drunkenly ramble on about what a great boyfriend Kageyama was. “Yeah I know,” he sighed as he closed the door behind him and got into the drivers seat.

            “I’ll sit back here and make sure he doesn’t puke in the car or anything,” Kenma said getting into the car next to Hinata. “He tends to be a puker.”

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said tersely as he turned on the car. “Um, what’s your address? So I can just drive you home.”

            “Oh um, thanks,” Kenma said surprised. “It should be in Shou’s previous destinations.” Kenma leaned forward in the car and scrolled through the GPS. He went to the recent trips and quickly scrolled past a few address until he came across his. “Here you go, he said turning it back toward Kageyama.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said trying not to think about how fast Kenma found his address in Hinata’s recent trips. With a weird hot twisting in his gut, he started the car and began following the directions on the GPS.

            They sat in silence. Kenma wasn’t much of a talker to begin with and with the added sudden end of Hinata’s drunken ramblings after him falling asleep and with the sudden bursts from the GPS, the silence was even more pronounced. It didn’t help that Kageyama’s headspace was miles away, somewhere between his mother and Oikawa. Trying to focus on driving Kageyama glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Hinata sleeping with his head in Kenma’s lap with Kenma absentmindedly running his fingers through Hinata’s hair as he looked out the window. Kageyama felt the same hot twisting in his gut that he felt every time he watched Kenma interact with Hinata.  Kageyama tried to ignore them and focus on the road but he kept finding himself glancing up into the mirror to look at them. Clenching his jaw and tightening his grip on the wheel, Kageyama looked out at the road.

            “I know you don’t like me very much,” Kenma said quietly after a few minutes. Kageyama glanced and caught his eye in the rearview mirror. “I didn’t think Hinata would tell you.”

            “He didn’t,” Kageyama said curtly. He tightened his grip on the wheel again.

            “Oh then how’d you know?” Kenma asked softly.

            “You just confirmed it,” Kageyama said rolling his shoulders uncomfortably. He glanced at him in the mirror again to be met head on with Kenma’s stare. Looking away Kageyama focused on the road furrowing his eyebrows.

            “I’m sorry,” Kenma said gently. That just made Kageyama angrier, he bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from speaking. “He should have been the one to tell you about that part of his life.” They sat silently for a few more minutes, the tension growing to a palpable degree.

            “Were you in love with him?” Kageyama asked feeling as if he knew the answer already. There was a long pause before Kenma answered.

            “Yes,” he said quietly. Kageyama glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that Kenma was staring intensely at him. He quickly looked back at the road.

            “Are you still in love with him?” Kageyama asked quietly, he couldn’t bring himself to look in the rearview mirror and see Kenma’s reaction. Kageyama couldn’t breathe as he waited for Kenma’s answer.

            “...yes,” Kenma said so faintly that if it wasn’t dead silent in the car, Kageyama wouldn’t have heard him at all. Kageyama just let out a shaky breath.

            “Does...does he know?” Kageyama asked glancing in the mirror. Kenma was no longer moving his hand through Hinata’s hair but just had his hand resting atop Hinata’s head on his lap.

            “I don’t know,” Kenma said earnestly. Somehow this made Kageyama feel worse. He just wanted a definitive answer.

            “Look, Kenma I don’t really know you,” Kageyama said gathering up whatever resolve he had in him to say this small speech. “But Hinata seems to like you a lot, and I respect that, whatever that means to you. So I’m not going to interfere with your friendship because I trust Hinata. But I want to make one thing perfectly clear,” he looked up quickly in to the mirror to see Kenma staring at him intently, “I don’t care what romantic inclinations you may have for him, but you are not to put Hinata in a position where he has to choose over us; because I will not forgive you for making things hard for Hinata.” He looked in the mirror again and Kenma gave him a quick nod.    

            Feeling marginally better Kageyama focused on driving for the rest of the journey to Kenma’s apartment. When he pulled up in front of the building he watched as Kenma gently removed Hinata’s head from his lap, and got out of the car. Right before he went to walk away he went to the passenger window and knocked on the window. Kageyama lowered the window so he could hear what Kenma had to say.

            “Thanks for driving me,” Kenma said carefully, “you could’ve have left me at the train but you didn’t, so... thank you. You’re a good guy and I can see why Shouyou likes you so much. I’m sorry that...” he paused not exactly sure how to continue, “I’m just sorry. Tell Shouyou I said bye and that I’ll talk to him later.” And with that Kenma just turned and walked away going into his building. Feeling weirdly conflicted, Kageyama pulled up Hinata’s mom’s address in the GPS and began the drive there. Luckily it was a relativity short drive from Kenma’s apartment, and Kageyama didn’t have enough time to dwell on his conversation with Kenma. As he pulled up at the house, Kageyama turned off the car and took a deep breath just rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

            “Why’d we stop moving?” Hinata mumbled from the backseat. Kageyama turned his head to look at him sprawled out on the seat with his arm thrown over his eyes. Kageyama wondered how long he’d been awake for.

            “Cause we’re back,” Kageyama said taking out the keys and getting out of the car. He opened the back door and started to help get Hinata out of the car. Throwing him over his shoulder, Kageyama staggered a bit under Hinata’s dead weight but was able to close and lock the car and walk up to the front door. He quickly checked his phone to see the time. 12:30 am; _wow we must be getting old, a few birthdays ago I wouldn’t have been home till dawn._

Thinking better of trying to go through Hinata’s pockets to look for his keys, Kageyama gently knocked on the door hoping someone was still awake. After a few moments of silence, Kageyama heard faint footsteps coming towards the door.

“You guys are back,” Natsu said as she opened the door. “I didn’t think you’d be back so early.”

            “Your brother can’t hold his alcohol,” Kageyama said stepping into the house. “How was Aiko?” he asked looking around for a place to put Hinata down.

            “She’s fine, she went to sleep a while ago,” Natsu said helping him put Hinata down on the couch. “We drew and painted and watched a movie together. She’s a very good little artist you know, and an awesome little girl.”

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said slumping into the armchair next to the couch. “So everything was ok with her?”

            “Yeah everything was great. She’s great, actually,” Natsu said sitting on the love seat across from him. “Sometimes I can’t believe she’s only four, she’s so articulate. You must be doing something amazingly right with her. Honestly, I work with children in the art fellowship program I’m in and children her age are just not that mature. She’s amazing.”

            “Thanks, that means a lot,” Kageyama said rubbing his eyes trying to offer her what he hoped was an appreciative smile. “I just worry about her you know. But as long as she was ok, I’m glad. I never really leave her with... people, like a baby sitter or something. I mean, daycare yes, but other than that she stays with her mom or me, and that’s it. And last time...”

            “I heard, Shou told me about the hospital trip,” Natsu said quietly. “It must have been horrible for you. I know Shouyou was even shaken up about it.”

            “It was,” Kageyama said. His chest tightened when he heard her say that Hinata was affected by it too. He took a deep breath and sat up. “Hey, I smell like a bar so I’m going take a shower real quick. Just watch him for a second, I’ll be back to help him into bed and stuff ok?”

            “Yeah, not a problem,” Natsu said pulling off Hinata’s shoes. Kageyama nodded at her and started up the stairs quietly. He unbuttoned his super uncomfortable shirt, and through it on top of his bag and pulled out a clean shirt and a fresh pair of boxers. He took his clothes and grabbed a towel and put them in the bathroom. Before he went to shower he opened the door to check on Aiko.

            _Sound asleep, as usual._


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kind of like a bridge chapter, but it is a chapter of substantial size so i'm debating on whether or not to do a double update to move the story along. I'm not sure. if i get another chapter written today, i'll probably do a double update (the next chapter is way longer and hella plotty) 
> 
> i want to thank you for all your comments, that have been amazing and i really do try to answer all of them (or as many as i can)

* * *

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama was tired. He had spent the night tossing and turning unable to get to sleep despite his extreme tiredness. And when he wasn’t tossing and turning, he was being smothered by a very asleep, overheated Hinata who insisted on laying his body over Kageyama’s body. After finally removing Hinata’s arm from his chest, for what felt like the thousandth time that night, Kageyama, frustrated and hot, got out of bed and removed his sweat covered t-shirt throwing onto the floor. From the bed he could hear Hinata groaning with the loss of Kageyama.

            “Hinata, I’m going to be back, I just need to pee,” Kageyama said rolling his eyes. He tiptoed toward the bathroom trying not to make any noise. He peed and washed his hands, slashing some water on his face and neck trying to get rid of the cooled sweat that dried there.

            Kageyama didn’t really sleep. Every time he would close his eyes he would see his mothers face, turning blue and loosing life. He regretted telling that to Oikawa because now that’s it’s been said out loud it feels real. Before, it was this ambiguous concept that he didn’t have to confront head on, but only had to deal with in a vague, yet impedimentary way in his mind. But ever since Aiko’s hospitalization and hearing that she almost asphyxiated has trigged a bout of nightmares and anxiety that Kageyama hadn’t had to deal with since childhood. However there is a part of him that almost feels better having told someone.

            He walked back into the room and sat on the bed pushing Hinata aside to make room for himself. He took out his phone, trying to distract himself for a little while. Kageyama messed around on his phone for a while until he heard the telltale groans of Hinata waking up hung-over. He looked down to his left and saw Hinata curling up into the fetal position on the bed.

            “Ugh I feel like I’m dying,” Hinata groaned into the mattress. Kageyama just smirked and rolled his eyes. “My insides are doing cartwheels.”

            “So I’m assuming you’re hung-over?” Kageyama said putting his phone away

            “What gave it away?” Hinata moaned. “Ugh I feel like I’m going to puke.” Hinata slowly crawled off the bed and sluggishly slumped toward the door. Kageyama just watched him shaking his head. Once he was gone from the room, Kageyama sighed rubbing his eyes free of sleep. He checked the time and saw that it was already 7:40am. He pulled on whatever shirt was left in his bag and went to Hinata’s old room to check in on Aiko. She was still fast asleep when he went into the room. Dropping a soft kiss on her forehead, he began picking up all her clothes and drawings that she had scattered across the floor.

“Daddy?” a groggy Aiko said from the bed. Placing her clothes in her bag, Kageyama walked over and sat on the bed with her. She got out from under the comforter and got onto his lap placing her head against his chest and her tiny arms around his torso. “I missed you Daddy,” she said sleepily into his chest.

            “Sorry Belly,” Kageyama said brushing her bangs back. “I missed you too of course. But you spent the night with Natsu, how was that? Any more nightmares?” he added worriedly. He was beyond worried that she would suffer from the crippling nightmare he dealt with.

            “Natsu is so awesome,” she sighed. “I love it here. The food is so good and Natsu draws with me. And no, no more nightmares.” Kageyama chuckled at his daughter, grateful that the nightmare seemed to be a regular childhood nightmare.

            “She told me you guys had fun yesterday,” Kageyama said softly adjusting her on his lap. “She told me she thought you were very smart and an excellent artist. Hmm, Belly? What do you think about that?”

            “I think that’s good,” she said drowsily. He picked her up and adjusted her so her head was resting on his shoulder. “Daddy, can you bring me to get breakfast?”

            “Of course Belly,” he said carrying her out and bring her down stairs to eat.

* * *

 

            “I’m so glad to meet you Kageyama and it was a pleasure to have you and your wonderful daughter come stay with us,” Yuki said as they were packing up Hinata’s car to leave that afternoon.

            “Oh, thank you,” Kageyama said. “It was very nice to meet you,” he looked between Yuki and Natsu, “both of you of course,” he said trying to give them a friendly smile.

            “It really was nice to meet you Kageyama,” Natsu said pulling him into a hug. He was caught off guard by the sudden display of affection but quickly awkwardly hugged her back. As soon as he pulled back from Natsu, Yuki pulled him into a tight motherly hug and gave him a small kiss on his forehead.

            “Please come visit us again,” Yuki said smiling with her hand on his cheek. She looked down at Aiko who had been patiently standing next to Kageyama holding onto his pant leg. “And you of course,” Yuki said happily bending down to hug Aiko who excitedly jumped into her arms. Kageyama turned and put the last bag of food Yuki gave them for the trip back. The car was filled on either side of Aiko’s car seat they bought for Hinata’s car with bags of food, Kageyama finally turned to Hinata who was saying goodbye to his mom. He waited until he said goodbye to his sister to put Aiko into her car seat.

            “Ok babe, lets go home,” Hinata said patting Kageyama’s shoulder and getting into the driver’s seat. Kageyama waved one final time to Yuki and Natsu before getting into the passenger seat.

            “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” Kageyama asked hoping he would say no. “You were pretty hung-over this morning, are you sure you’re good to drive?”

            “Yeah I’m totally fine. I actually slept for a long time and then I ate all those eggs my mom made, you saw that. I’m good to go,” he said turning on the car and backing it out of the driveway. “Aiko did you enjoy the trip?” he asked as they started down the street.

            “I did,” Aiko said happily. “Natsu showed me a bunch of her drawings and we got to paint with tem-temt, what was it called daddy?”

            “Tempera paint,” Kageyama said looking behind him.

            “Yeah, tempera paints. And the food was so good,” Aiko added wistfully. “I would go back,” she said seriously. Kageyama watched Hinata smile as he made eye contact with her in the rearview mirror.

            “Good, I’m glad,” Hinata said appreciatively. Kageyama felt a tight constricting in his chest he often does when he sees how close Hinata and Aiko have gotten. He looked away, turning to look out the window. They were relatively silent more a large portion of the trip. Kageyama made a point of not falling asleep this time, not wanting to risk having the same argument they had when they were coming up. It wasn’t until they had been driving for several hours and Aiko was fast asleep that Hinata turned down the radio to talk.

            “Hey Kageyama are you ok?” Hinata asked glancing at him quickly. “You’re really quiet. You’re not usually this quiet.”

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Kageyama said sitting up straighter in his seat. “I’m just still a bit tired, I didn’t sleep well.”

            “More nightmares?” Hinata asked knowingly. Kageyama’s silence told him enough. “This isn’t healthy-”

            “Well it’s not your health is it?” Kageyama said bitterly. “What does it matter if I’m tired?”

            “What the fuck?” Hinata said glancing at him quickly. “Are you mad at me about something suddenly? Cause we were fine all weekend and then we get in the car and it’s like this part of you came out of hiding.”

            “No,” Kageyama said too forcefully. He sighed rubbing his eyes. “Forget it, I’m just tired, ok?”

            “You’re always tired,” Hinata said. “You never get any sleep and then you’re always cranky and tired and miserable and bitter-”

            “Wow, Hinata tell me how you really feel,” Kageyama said sarcastically. Hinata just rolled his eyes and sighed.

            “Well, it’s true ok?” Hinata said unapologetically. “And now you’re being an asshole.” Kageyama scoffed. “Seriously, what’s your problem? Were you just pretending to get along with me at my mom’s house? Now you’re like ‘oh well, now that we’re not in public let’s just fucking bicker because fuck you that’s why’ and I don’t get it.”

            “Yeah it sucks going into something blind when the other person is obviously withholding?” Kageyama said sarcastically. Kageyama watched as a brief flicker of understanding ran across Hinata’s face before he schooled his features.

            “Yeah especially when you ask and ask and ask that person to tell you and they blatantly refuse,” Hinata countered back caustically. Kageyama just rolled his eyes annoyed and turned his body away from Hinata and faced out the passenger side window.

            They sat in silence for the rest of ride. Kageyama could feel the tension grow with every passing mile. Kageyama knew it was unfair of him to be mad at Hinata without telling him, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk earnestly to him. He was feeling so petty from his conversation with Kenma. He was feeling vulnerable from his confession to Oikawa the night before. And he was feeling angry that Hinata didn’t even tell him that was meeting his ex-boyfriend who was still in love with him.

            Once they pulled up in front of Kageyama’s building, Kageyama got out without saying a word. Kageyama went and grabbed his and Aiko’s bags from the trunk and grunted to Hinata that he would be back in a minute to carry Aiko up. He knew Hinata was mad at him because he didn’t even offer to park and help him. He dropped off his bags in his apartment and went back down stairs to Hinata still waiting out front with Aiko still asleep in her car seat. Kageyama opened the back door and unbuckled Aiko and gingerly picked her up and placed her head on his shoulder and placed his arm under her to hold her in place. He closed the door behind him and began to walk away when he heard Hinata call out to him. Kageyama turned around slowly, trying not to wake Aiko in his arms. He watched as Hinata unbuckled and got out of the car and walked over to him.

            “What is it no-” Kageyama began getting cut off by Hinata pulling him down by the collar of his shirt and pressing his lips firmly against his. He responded tenderly to the kiss, moving his lips softly against Hinata’s careful with Aiko between them. Hinata then pulled away with a low wet noise. Kageyama stayed close to him for a moment just breathing as they leaned their forehead against one another’s.

            “I don’t know why you’re mad at me but you can’t not end the argument with a kiss you jerk,” Hinata said releasing his grasp on Kageyama’s collar, sliding his hand down his chest. “Don’t leave me angry.”

            “Ok,” Kageyama breathed. “We’ll talk later ok?” he said pressing one last kiss to Hinata’s lips.

            “Alright,” Hinata said stepping back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kageyama waved at him and turned to walk up to his apartment. He didn’t feel better but he knew he felt less mad at Hinata.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update because whatever man, time is a construct of our imaginations and i just really like this chapter. Also i want to move the story along
> 
> *warning* mild descriptions of surgical procedures and bodily harm. like super mild. 
> 
> also i don't claim to know exactly how this is supposed to be done since when last time i got these i was three, but i did a lot of googling and guesstimating. so if it's wrong, it's fiction man.

* * *

            “Daddy!” Aiko said excitedly as she came running towards him when he picked her up from daycare.  “Daddy I have so much to tell you, but I want to wait until we see Hinata.”

            “Ok no problem,” Kageyama said picking her up and swinging her backpack over his shoulder. “Is it me, or are you getting heavier?” he said when he lifted her up on his arm.

            “I’m getting bigger,” Aiko said proudly. “I’m going to be a woman...”

            “Oh god please not yet,” Kageyama said feigning despair. “If you’re a woman that mean’s you’ll get a job and move far away and I’ll never see you again and I’ll be a lonely sad old man.”

            “Daddy! You’ll never be a lonely sad old man,” Aiko chastised as Kageyama walked them towards the bakery. “You are beautiful and young and you have me and Hinata so you’ll never be lonely.” Kageyama smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, trying to hide the insecurities he felt about being lonely and sad and old with out her or Hinata.

            As they crossed the threshold of the door, Aiko jumped out of his arms and ran toward the busy counter, jumping up and down trying to see over the people.

            “Lev! Lev!” Aiko called jumping to try to see him. Lev walked over to a clear part of the counter and leaned over smiling down at her. “Lev there you are,” she said happily. She ran over to the counter entrance and came around to the other side of the counter. It had become her new practice ever since Hinata had let her help serve customers one afternoon.

            “Aiko I missed you on Friday,” Lev said lifting Aiko up into his arms. “There was this lady you came in with his giant super fluffy dog, you would have loved it.”

            “I missed a giant fluffy dog?” Aiko said disappointed. She pouted for a moment before for shrugging it off. “It’s ok, I got to paint with Hinata’s sister. And I got to meet Hinata’s mom. And we had amazing cookies, like the best I’ve ever had.”

            “Wow, really?” Lev said to Aiko but looked over at Kageyama, who nodded in agreement. “You must have had a fun weekend, tell me more about these cookies...” Lev said lifting her and placing her on his shoulders and he walked over to the cash register to help a customer.

            “Hey babe,” Hinata’s voice said from behind Kageyama. He turned and saw Hinata standing there with a two large trays of eggs stacked on top of each other. “Hey would you mind helping me bring this to the back?”

            “Sure,” Kageyama said taking the top tray carefully and following Hinata through the double doors. They entered the main kitchen area, a fairly large room with prep tables and sinks and working stations and several large ovens. Kageyama nodded to Daichi who was working, at one of the prep tables as he followed Hinata into the walk-in fridge.

            “Here,” Hinata said as he placed his tray of eggs on an empty shelf. He took Kageyama’s tray from him and nestled it on top of the other one. “Thanks babe,” Hinata said pulling Kageyama’s collar down and bringing their lips together.

            “Yesh, can’t this wait until we’re out of this fridge, I’m freezing,” Kageyama said shivering. Hinata just shook his head and took his hand, leading him out of the fridge and closing it behind them. Once outside of it, he pulled Kageyama down once again and brought their lips together.

            “Hey this is a bakery not a brothel!” Daichi shouted at them from across the room. They spilt apart, Hinata whining that he owns the bakery and he wanted to do what he wanted inside of it.

            “It’s ok,” Kageyama said rubbing his thumb against his cheek, “you could always come over and we can continue this later?”

            “I know, it’s just that I’ll be working late tonight,” Hinata sighed stepping away and walking towards the proofing ovens. “We have this big order for a cake that has to go out tomorrow morning and they want it ‘as fresh as you can make it’, fucking assholes. They don’t know what it entails in doing a large order cake.”

            “I’m sure you’ll make an amazing cake,” Kageyama said leaning on the wall behind him. “And you can always come over afterward, even if it’s late.” He looked over at Hinata who gave him a half-hearted smile.

            “Thanks babe,” Hinata said taking out the risen dough. “I might come by then. I could always jus-” but he was cut off by a loud piercing scream from Aiko. Kageyama and Hinata looked up at each other before racing to the double doors, knocking down several utensils and cooking equipment on the way to the double doors. Kageyama felt his left side of his body smash into a counter where his arm caught on something but he ran through the double doors anyway. When they got to the main store area, Aiko was on the floor crying with a confused and frightened looking Lev standing over her.

            “Hey Muffin what’s wrong?” Hinata asked bending down to her level. “Why’d you scream, what happened?”

            “That la-lady had mu-mushrooms in her bag,” Aiko sobbed petrified. “I just didn’t wa-want to go to the hos-hospital again. I’m so-sorry,” she said through broken sobs.

            “Oh Belly, no,” Kageyama said leaning down to her and brushing aside her hair. “You have to eat them in order to have an allergic reaction. You’re ok. I promise, I’m not going to let that happen to you again.”

            “Yo-you promise?” she sniffled.

            “I promise,” Kageyama said. “And if anything like that where to happen again, I have a special pen that will save you from choking again.”

            “O-ok Daddy,” she said getting up from the floor and hugging Kageyama. “Thank you Hinata.”

            “No problem Muffin,” Hinata said kissing the top of her head. “Just no more screaming ok? You scared us.”

            “I promise,” she said nodding vigorously. “I’m sorry.”

            “It’s ok,” Kageyama said standing up. “Just next time remember to-”

            “Kageyama you’re bleeding. Your arm,” Lev said cutting him off. Kageyama looked down at his right arm and saw nothing. “No your left,” he pointed worriedly. He looked at his left arm and saw that it was covered in blood, pouring down from his forearm.

            “Babe, oh my god. Are you ok?” Hinata said spinning around and looking at his arm. Kageyama turned his arm to see his forearm and saw that he had a huge gash in it, bleeding profusely.

            “I... I didn’t even feel it,” Kageyama said in a daze. “I knocked into something and I felt pain but I didn’t even realize. I was just trying to get to Aiko.”

            “Daddy!” Aiko cried terrified as he watched the blood fall from her fathers arm. Hinata ran through the double doors and came back out with a clean hand towel.

            “Kageyama, you need to wrap up your arm and keep pressure on it,” Hinata instructed placing the towel on the gash. “Lev, turn the sign to closed and clean up the blood please, the mop is in the back.”

            “You got it boss,” Lev said running around the counter to flip over the sign and then running back to go through the double doors. Hinata told Kageyama he’d be right back and not to move, and he disappeared through the double doors.

            “Daddy...” Aiko blubbered, her eyes filling with fresh tears.

            “I'm fine, Belly,” Kageyama said applying pressure to his wound that was now starting to be extremely painful. “Don’t worry, it’s just a small cut, Daddy’s going to be fine.” This didn’t help to make Aiko feel better and she just continued to stand there silently watch Kageyama wince in pain, while fat hot tears streamed down her face.

            “Ok, lets go,” Hinata said coming through the double doors. He picked up Aiko in his arms and walked towards the front door. “I’m driving you to the hospital. You probably need stitches.” Kageyama didn’t argue with him and followed Hinata out of the front doors and towards his car. “Ok can you buckle yourself Muffin?” Aiko nodded weakly and got into her car seat in Hinata’s car and buckled herself in. Hinata ran over to the other side of the car to help Kageyama in and to buckle him in.

            “Thanks Hinata,” Kageyama said once Hinata got into the drivers seat. Hinata leaned his head back and took a deep breath before facing the steering wheel and turning on the ignition.  He gripped the wheel with shaky hands and let out a long stream of air.

            “Just... thank me when we get there,” Hinata said pulling out of the parking spot, white knuckling the steering wheel. “Provided we get there.”

* * *

 

            “Hello, yes we called ahead, my boyfriend cut his arm accidentally and I think he needs stitches,” Hinata said rushing over to the main desk at the emergency room entrance carrying Aiko in his arms while Kageyama trailed slowly behind him.

            “Ah ok, Kageyama Tobio right?” the receptionist said. Hinata nodded. “Please enter through those doors over there, the first door on your right.” Hinata thanked her and directed Kageyama which way to go. They went through the doors and was directed into a large room separated into smaller “rooms” by curtains each with it’s own hospital bed. A nurse directed Kageyama to sit on one of the beds and took the bloodied towel from him. She began to clean the wound and the bloody area around it.

            “Babe how are you feeling?” Hinata asked rocking a very frightened Aiko in his arms. Kageyama looked over at him and saw how much worry was etched onto his face.

            “I’m ok I think,” Kageyama lied giving him a brief smile. Though he said that for Hinata’s sake, it didn’t seem to worry him any less.

            “The ER doctor with be here in minute to suture your wound,” The nurse said giving Kageyama a fresh gaze to put on top of the wound. He nodded to her as she walked through the curtain and closed it behind her.

“How did this happen?” Hinata asked once she left. “You were fine and then suddenly you were bleeding.”

            “I think it was when I smashed my whole left side into something,” Kageyama said applying light pressure to his gash. “I barely felt any pain I was just running to see why Aiko was screaming.”

            “I’m so sorry Daddy,” Aiko sobbed reaching her hand out for Kageyama. He leaned his head forward so she could touch his cheek since he couldn’t move his arms to her.

            “It’s not your fault Belly,” Kageyama smiled looking up at her.

            “Yeah Muffin don’t think this is your fault at all,” Hinata said caressing her face. “People get hurt all the time.”

            “B-but I didn’t wan-want to go to the hos-hospital but we’re here,” Aiko said through heaving breaths. “I’m so sorry Daddy.”

            “No need for crying the doctor’s here now,” said a bright male voice. A large hand brushed back the curtain and the doctor stepped in pushing a tray with surgical tools all individually wrapped in plastic. He looked at Kageyama with a flash of recognition that was gone so fast had Kageyama’s not been glued to his face he would have never seen it.

            “I’m Dr. Oikawa,” he said cheerily, extending his hand towards Hinata, “I’m the resident ER doctor.”

            “Hello doctor,” Hinata said shaking his hand, seemingly not recognizing him from only a few days ago. But Kageyama couldn’t look away from Oikawa face.

            “And you must be,” Oikawa consulted the chart, “Kageyama Tobio?” Kageyama gave him a slight perplexed nod. “Excellent, well I’m here to close up your wound so I’m going to have to ask your... boyfriend?” Kageyama nodded again, “to step out with your ...daughter?” Kageyama nodded again. Hinata turned, leaned over and gave him a small kiss on his forehead before he carried a still quietly crying Akio out of the curtained area.

            Kageyama didn’t know what to say. He just watched as Oikawa began to prepare all the tools he was going to need for the stitches. As the silence between them grew Kageyama became more and more fidgety. After about a minute of silence he couldn’t take it anymore.

            “Ok why are you pretending you don’t know me?” Kageyama asked eyeing Oikawa. “You knew that was my boyfriend, I pointed him out to you two days ago.”

            “Well I didn’t recognize him sober and holding your _daughter_ ,” Oikawa smirked as he pulled a stool over for himself. “You didn’t tell me you had a daughter.”

            “It something a lot of people know,” Kageyama retorted as he watched Oikawa put on gloves. “I didn’t think it’d apply for the game.”

            “Very true,” Oikawa agreed as he began preparing a local anesthetic. “Well so much for ‘never seeing the person again’ huh?” he joked.

            “I guess so,” Kageyama said watching him tap the needle. “So you’re a doctor.”

            “Mhm,” Oikawa hummed as he administered the anesthetic. “Now you’re probably thinking about what a catch I am, right?” he grinned glancing quickly up at Kageyama who was fighting back a smile. Oikawa began threading the needle for the suture process.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kageyama said feigning innocence as Oikawa tapped his skin to test for numbness.

            “Oh come on, you know,” Oikawa teased. “Is this numb?” Kageyama nodded as he watched Oikawa begin to tie the first suture. “Well, I’m a doctor, which means stability- obviously good health insurance,” Kageyama laughed, “I’m older than you which means experience.”

            “By like a few years,” Kageyama protested.

            “Still,” Oikawa grinned as he worked. “I’m super handsome which is a plus,” Kageyama rolled his eyes, “I mean, I’m the living sexy doctor fantasy.”

            “You’re obnoxious,” Kageyama said trying not to laugh at him.

            “Yeah but I think you like it,” Oikawa said smirking up at him. Kageyama tried to school his face but found it very difficult to when Oikawa was smirking at him like that.

            “I have a boyfriend,” Kageyama said trying to reason with him. “A boyfriend who I very much like.”

            “I’m sure you do,” Oikawa said tying another suture. “That doesn’t prohibit me from flirting with you.” Kageyama turned red with embarrassment. “What, are you not used to people flirting with you?”

            “Not really, no,” Kageyama said looking away.

            “How is that possible?” Oikawa said surprised. “I knew I wanted to flirt with you the moment I saw you. Actually I knew I wanted to do more things than that the moment I saw you but-”

            “Isn’t this like, unethical or something?” Kageyama flushed interrupting Oikawa. “Should you really be harassing a patient like this?”

            “Some people use anesthetic I use mild sexual harassment,” Oikawa smirked haughtily. Kageyama grunted skeptically. “So I guess since you don’t go out much, you don’t have to deal with the whole ‘people trying to desperately flirt with you’ kind of thing.”

            “Well when you have a 4 year old,” Kageyama said, “You find you don’t have a lot of time to go out and be desperately flirted with.”

            “That is quite true,” Oikawa said finishing another suture. “I’d assume childcare usually takes precedence over getting hit on at a bar.” Kageyama looked at him like that was obvious. “But I don’t know, you tried it out and it wasn’t to much of a horrible experience right?” Oikawa looked up at him through his auburn fringe, and Kageyama could feel his cheeks heat up again.

            “I th-think I prefer staying in with my _boyfriend_ ,” Kageyama said emphasizing boyfriend since he didn’t think he was clear enough before. Oikawa just sighed, still smirking and went back down to working on his arm. “You know him, the one you just saw. Holding my daughter. Who drove me here to the hospital, because he cares about me. That one.”

            “I never said he doesn’t care about you,” Oikawa said smugly. “I only asked if you like being flirted with? You got defensive. The lady doth protest to much, methinks.”

            “Well methinks you’re a horrible flirt,” Kageyama said petulantly. Oikawa just chuckled at his retort.

            “Well, that’s just not true,” Oikawa said finishing his last suture. “Ok you’re all done. Six stitches, very clean work. There’ll probably be no scar, if maybe just a minor one, but no damage to your tattoo. But you will need to come back to get the stitches removed in about a week.” Oikawa explained as he removed his gloves and stood up from the stool.

            “Oh ok,” Kageyama said flexing his hand for the first time since he got there. “Um, thank you.”

            “No problem, it’s my job,” Oikawa smirked as he cleaned up the tray he wheeled in.

            “Right of course,” Kageyama said flushing. “So... in a week?”

            “Mhm,” Oikawa said. “I’m putting it in your chart, and just come back around this time next week and I’ll take those out for you.”

            “Ok,” Kageyama said standing up.

            “I’ll walk you out,” Oikawa said opening the curtain for Kageyama. He walked out and into the waiting area where Hinata and Aiko were sitting talking together quietly. When Hinata saw Kageyama coming out he picking up Aiko and rushed over to him.

            “Hey babe, are you ok now?” Hinata asked putting his hand gently on Kageyama’s cheek. Something about to obvious concern and attention made Kageyama feel guilty.

            “Yeah I’m fine,” Kageyama said turning his arm so Hinata could see the stitches. “I just have to come back in a week to get them taken out.”

            “Oh ok, thank god it wasn’t more serious,” Hinata said smiling at Kageyama. He leaned up for a small kiss.

            “He should heal just fine,” Oikawa said to Hinata. “Just no rigorous activities with that arm including throwing, lifting, pushing- just anything that moves the arm too much. It could rip the sutures out.”

            “I understand,” Hinata said gratefully. “Thank you so much doctor.” Oikawa just bowed slightly and walked away.

            “Daddy are you better now?” Aiko sniffled. Kageyama touched her face with his other hand.

            “Of course, Belly,” he smiled at her. He looked over at Hinata who had his free hand on his non-injured arm. He was looking up at him with so much worry and concern that Kageyama felt horrible for spending the past ten minutes being flirted with while Hinata was out here worrying about him. Kageyama stomach twisted in hot uncomfortable knots as he tried to give Hinata a small smile.

            “Ok let me you drive home,” Hinata said setting Aiko down. She quickly took Kageyama’s right hand and held onto Hinata’s left hand and they walked out of the hospital together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah Oikawa returns. as my own personal, sexy doctor fantasy


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are awesome. i know i say that like every week but honestly your messages have been so incredible and i'm so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of them and I do try to answer them all. I just want to thank you guys for reading this fic in general. 
> 
> also because the timeline might be a bit confusing but i put something in the fic that gives a bit of a window to how long they have been dating (but it's been a little over two months)

* * *

            “Seriously Hinata, I’m fine,” Kageyama said for what he felt like was the millionth time since they got back to his apartment.

            “The doctor said for you not to do anything that might make the stitches come out,” Hinata said as he cooked dinner. “I’m going to help you and no amount of complaining from you is going to stop me.”

            “Oh I’m sure I can find the right amount,” Kageyama joked as he leaned against the kitchen counter watching Hinata cut vegetables. They had come back to his apartment and Hinata hadn’t let Kageyama do anything. He sat Aiko in front of the TV with her painting set to keep her out of the way, and began to do all the things Kageyama wouldn’t be able to do.

            “Yes, but then who’s going to drive you back to the hospital once you’ve pissed me off?” Hinata said with a fake sweetness. Kageyama just made a face at him, crossing his arms. He winced when he caught his finger on the gash. “Oh my god you dummy, here let me see,” Hinata said putting down the knife and washing his hands. Wiping his hands on a clean hand towel, Hinata gingerly took Kageyama’s arm in his hands. He gently turned it upward so he could see the small line of stitches on Kageyama’s forearm.   

            While Hinata was looking at his stitches Kageyama looked at Hinata’s face. He often found himself doing that; just looking at Hinata’s face. Observing the way he would bite his lower lip when he was thinking, the way his nose would scrunch when he was confused, the way his eyes would crinkle into the beginnings of crow’s feet when he smiled. Kageyama loved looking at Hinata. Sometimes he would gaze at Hinata’s face completely mystified to how he managed to get such a pretty perfect boyfriend. Today was no different. As Hinata tenderly moved his fingers along Kageyama’s arm making sure his stitches were in tact, Kageyama gazed at Hinata’s face. Maybe it was a combination of Hinata’s concern for him and his ambivalent reaction to Oikawa at the hospital, Kageyama felt a sudden surge of affection for his petite concerned boyfriend.

            “You’re really pretty,” Kageyama said softly. He watched as the blood rushed to Hinata’s cheeks.

            “Wh-wha-what?” Hinata said looking up at Kageyama, red-faced and embarrassed.

            “You are,” Kageyama said bringing his right hand up to Hinata’s face. “I don’t think I compliment you enough. But I think you’re really, really pretty.”

            “Are you feeling well?” Hinata said skeptically. “Is this this some sort of latent reaction to the blood loss?”

            “No,” Kageyama said stepping closer to him. He pulled his injured arm out of Hinata’s weak grasp and moved his right hand down to the nape of Hinata’s neck. “I just felt like telling you that I think you’re pretty. Actually more than pretty, I think you’re beautiful. And I know I’m not very outwardly appreciative of you and I don’t really express myself to you often, but I really do appreciate everything you do,” Kageyama said looking into Hinata’s eyes. Hinata’s eyes searched his as he gazed up into them. “And you are,” he tilted Hinata’s face up more towards his, “so beautiful, and incredible, and so caring and-” he was cut off by Hinata closing the distance between them. He moved his hands up Kageyama’s chest, slowly moving up to Kageyama’s neck. Kageyama gently settled his left hand on the small of Hinata’s back pulling him flush against his chest. He could smell the lingering scent of fresh vegetables on Hinata’s hands that he was just cutting. He could hear the sounds of the soup simmering on the stove and the distant murmur of Aiko’s movie. He could feel the knot of the apron tied around Hinata’s waist on his hand. All of these things were so domestic that Kageyama felt a rush emotion and wanting he hadn’t felt in a while. Kageyama could feel his whole mind and body reacting to the tangible domesticity. He felt like he would never tire of this scene; him and Hinata cooking dinner together, taking care of Aiko together and just being together. Kageyama and Hinata.

            He kissed Hinata with passionate force; biting and sucking and licking his way into Hinata’s mouth. Kageyama pulled Hinata even closer, moving his hand on his neck up into his hair. Hinata left out a soft moan into his mouth as Kageyama nibbled on his lower lip. Hinata pulled back, taking a deep breath as Kageyama continued to kiss down his jawline.

            “Babe,” Hinata breathed as Kageyama kissed down his neck. “Wh-where is all this coming from?” Kageyama just continued to suck a bruise onto Hinata’s neck. Hinata gasped from the sensation of Kageyama’s teeth grazing his skin and then his tongue lapping at the raw skin. “Kage-Kageyama,” he breathed again. “Aiko co-could come in at any moment.” Kageyama ignored him and continued, slowly moving his left hand downward Hinata’s back down to his ass. “Babe, you just... why all of a sudden?” Hinata whispered as Kageyama sucked hard on his neck.

            “Because you’re beautiful and you’re mine,” Kageyama whispered against his skin. He placed open-mouthed kisses back up Hinata’s neck and jawline, meeting back at his lips for a short kiss. “And I’m yours. Just yours.”

            “Well, I’m not complaining,” Hinata breathed, “But where did all this possessiveness come from all of a sudden?”

            “I’m always possessive of you,” Kageyama said rubbing his nose along side Hinata’s nose. “I just don’t feel like I need to show it that much. But sometimes I want to.”

            “Oh no complaints here,” Hinata said grinning. “You should know I am quite unopposed to the idea of showing a bit of possessiveness. I don’t mind being thrown around a bit.”

            “Good,” Kageyama smirked down at him. “It’s just a shame I’ve injured my arm and I can’t do much throwing... or pinning, or tying, or claiming of any sort.” Hinata’s grin grew as he ran his hands down Kageyama’s chest.

            “That is a shame,” Hinata said faking disappointment. “But I can.”

* * *

 

            As Kageyama sat on his couch much later that night, idly going through his Netflix, he began to grow tired. He checked his phone and saw it was just past midnight, and Hinata still wasn’t back yet. Though Kageyama had told him “go bake your big order” and “I’m going to wait up for you” and his most repeated, “yes, of course I’ll be fine. I can last a few hours without you” Hinata had still called him no less than 8 times in the past 3 hours to check up on him. Despite telling Hinata he would stay up and wait for him, Kageyama could feel the tugs of sleep pulling at him and he soon felt himself falling into a deep unconsciousness.

_Blue eyes stare into him. He looks deeply into them feeling a tug of recognition he hadn’t felt in a long time. They look worn, and comforting, and safe, and like home. He tries to reach to them._

_“Mom,” he tries to say but his voice is trapped in his throat._

_He looks again at the eyes. They’ve morphed. They’ve kept their still familiar blue tone and then he recognizes them instantly. They stare at him happy, and loving, and trusting and like home. He tries to comfort them._

_“Aiko,” he tries to say but his voice is trapped in his throat._

_The eyes begin to fade, and he starts to shake. Not wanting to loose them he begins to chase them; running, arms stretched out in front of him. He keeps trying to shout but there’s no sound in his throat. The walls around begin to close in. The air becomes thinner and thinner. He tries to scream. Nothing. He tries to breathe. Nothing. He feels hands on his chest pushing. He tries to gather air one last time, to breathe or scream he doesn’t know which he’s going to do._

Kageyama wakes up with a scream on his lips and hands on his chest. Gasping for air he blinks unseeing in the darkness of his living room, barely registering Hinata standing in front of him.

            “Kageyama! Can you hear me?” Hinata said frantically, moving his hands up to his face trying to get Kageyama to look at him. “Kageyama, I’m here. It’s me.” Hinata said softly looking into his face. Kageyama panted, catching his breath his eyes finally focusing on Hinata’s face.

            “Hin-Hinata?” Kageyama whispered placing his right hand on his chest. “Was...was I screaming?”

            “Yeah, you were,” Hinata asked concernedly. “I was literally walking through the door, and I could hear you start to do that breathy thing you do when you’re having a nightmare. And I started running over to you and you just started screaming.”

            “I...” Kageyama began finally having regained his breathing. “I didn’t realize I began screaming.”

            “It really scared me,” Hinata said sitting down next to Kageyama. “I’m so glad I came in time.” He caressed Kageyama’s face gently with his hand. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now? Or do you still insist you’re fine?”

            “I might...” Kageyama began looking down at his lap, “I might ...not be as fine as I claimed to be.”

            “I’ve only been telling you this for two months,” Hinata said running his fingers through Kageyama’s hair. “Please just talk to me. I’m so worried about you.”

            “That’s the problem,” Kageyama growled frustrated into his hands.

            “What’s the problem?” Hinata asked confused. “That I’m worried about you?”

            “Yes!” Kageyama said rubbing his eyes.

            “How is that a problem?” Hinata asked bewildered. “I would think you’d want your boyfriend to be concerned with your well-being. And I am concerned with your well-being. And I worry about you.”

            “But that’s just it,” Kageyama insisted turning to face Hinata. “I don’t want you to worry about me. I don’t want to be a source of concern for you.”

            “Babe,” Hinata said incredulously, “you would be a source of concern whether you were having nightmares or not. I care about you so of course I’m going to worry.”

            “But I don’t want you to,” Kageyama said losing his cool. “I try to be as stable as I can and I keeping failing and I’m worrying you and it just makes me feel worse.” Kageyama let out a choked sob he could no longer hold back. Hinata rubbed his back comfortingly, just letting him cry like he needed to. “They were suppose to stop,” Kageyama sobbed into his hands. “There were supposed to be temporary.”

            “It’s ok babe,” Hinata said softly. “You can talk to me.” Kageyama turned and wrapped his arms around Hinata’s shoulders and continued to cry. Hinata held him tightly, soothing his back as he cried.

            “They never have gone on this long,” Kageyama wept onto Hinata’s shoulder. “Never this violent.” Hinata ran his finger soothingly through Kageyama’s hair trying to console him. “I don’t know how to stop them.”

            “You’ve had nightmares like this before?” Hinata asked softly. Kageyama nodded weakly against his neck. “Do... do you want to tell me about them?” Kageyama shook his head quickly. “Ok... when was the last time you had a bout of nightmares this bad?”

            “When I was a child,” Kageyama sniffled against Hinata’s neck. “I had nightmares for months. Since then I’d get it in small spurts. A few days, sometimes a couple weeks; never months at as time like this.” He lifted up his head and pulled away from Hinata, leaning back against the couch rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “Two months of nothing but nightmares. I just need to sleep.”

            “I can you talk to me about them?” Hinata asked tenderly. “Maybe talking through them will help. I want to help you.”

            “I... I can’t do that,” Kageyama said feeling defeated. “If I say it out loud then it becomes real. I just... I can’t.”

            “Ok,” Hinata said flatly. Kageyama looked over at him surprised. “You say you can’t talk about it, that’s fine. I’m done asking. But I’m not going to stop worrying over you. And I’m not going to stop trying to help you. And I’m most definitely not going to let you push me away.” Kageyama stared at him flabbergasted, his eyes searching Hinata’s face and finding over sincerity and determination there. “If you’re having horrible nightmares, I’m going to make sure you never sleep alone. I’m going to be here for you, whether or not you think that’s a bad idea.” Kageyama just started at him silently while Hinata looked at him resolutely.

            “How did I ever get you, this incredible caring person, to be with me?” Kageyama whispered after a few silent, impactful moments.

            “Because I don’t see a part of you that I don’t like,” Hinata whispered as he pulled Kageyama into a gentle kiss.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just love Oikawa, so so so much
> 
> also i just wanted to let you guys know that i just finished writing a future chapter that made me cry. like literally cry. like i couldn't see the screen kind of cry. and it wasn't even major angst yet, it was just emotional. so... it's going to be great :)

* * *

           “Well this is healing nicely. I knew a week was enough time,” Oikawa said as he pulled up a stool to sit in front of Kageyama who was seated on top of a hospital bed. “Not that you had anything to worry about, you had an excellent doctor,” he smirked up at Kageyama, who just rolled his eyes.

            “You’re going to take the stitches out now, right?” Kageyama asked hopefully.

            “What, are you so keen to be rid of me?” Oikawa joked, pulling over the freestanding tray with the medical tools. “Do I have to pray you get hurt again so I can see you?”

            “Again, I have to ask,” Kageyama said sarcastically. “Is this really ethical for a doctor to say in the workplace?”

            “Eh, ethics are so subjective,” Oikawa teased lightly. He began to gently take out Kageyama’s stitches. “Honestly, if I had to think about if everything that came out of my mouth was ethical, I’d never say anything.” Kageyama shook his head, trying to hide a smile. “Not to mention things I put in my mouth; almost none of them-I mean that- is ethical.” Oikawa, enjoying his own joke, smirked up at Kageyama who was trying to give all indications that he did not find him entertaining, and was completely failing to do so.

            “You know,” Kageyama said looking vaguely surprised down at Oikawa, “I’ve never had a doctor who alluded to the fact that he gives head before.”

            “Well, there’s a first time for everything,” Oikawa said pulling out the last stitch. “Ok pretty much all done.” He cleaned the area and gently checked to make sure everything was still ok. Kageyama just watched him delicately handle his arm.

            _Even though he has those huge hands, he’s so dexterous. And... I mean, he’s not ugly. He’s... alright, in a tall, cocky kind of way. And he’s obnoxious, and I think he uses a lot of product in his hair especially to get it that coiffed. Ok, he’s handsome, but not the way Hinata is. Hinata is just so pretty and beautiful, petite and slight. Oikawa is this big...man. With big hands, and tall, and broad-shouldered and-_

“Hello? Are you still alive in there?” Oikawa said waving a hand in front of his face. Kageyama blinked himself back into reality. “What were you thinking about in there? You were practically drooling.”

            “Food,” Kageyama said quickly, expelling all thoughts of his previous train of thought from his head. “Are we done? My boyfriend is waiting for me.”

            “Yeah, you’re done,” Oikawa grinned knowingly. Kageyama shifted uncomfortably, feeling like Oikawa figured out why he was being extra defensive. “Would you like me to see you out?”

            “No, I’m a big boy I think I got it,” Kageyama said hopping off the bed. “Thanks,” he said as he turned to leave. Kageyama hadn’t seen one of the legs of the free-standing tray and tripped over it.

            “Oh my god, I literally just took out your stitches. Can please try not to get hurt immediately,” Oikawa said helping Kageyama up.

            “Well, at least I’m at the hospital already,” Kageyama joked as Oikawa helped him stand up. He leaned against the bed, rubbing his shin that he had hit. “And you’re here to fix me.”

            “Yup, all the broken parts,” Oikawa smiled placing his hands on hips. Kageyama felt a weird heat pooling in his stomach and a metallic tang on his tongue; it almost tasted like exhilaration and guilt. “Wait right here you klutz, I’ll get you an ice pack.” Kageyama watched him walk out of the curtained area. Releasing a deep breath, Kageyama rolled his shoulders trying to relieve the tension that he didn’t realize had built there. “Here you go,” Oikawa said pushing aside the curtain. He snapped the ice pack in his hand shook it until it froze.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said taking the ice pack from him and applying it to his skin. “I’ll um, I think I’ll go now,” he said getting off the bed. Crunching the frosty ice pack in hand, he stepped over the leg of the stand and walked through the curtained area. Just as he crossed the curtain he felt a tug on his sleeve.

            “I...” Oikawa said looking nervous for the first time since Kageyama met him, “I do want to be friends with you. I’m new around here, I just started my residency, and I don’t have a crazy amount of free time but... I’d like to be friends.” He looked at Kageyama with a nervous smirk that Kageyama wasn’t sure he was immune to.

            “I have a four year old and a boyfriend, I’m kind of mean, and not very sociable, I don’t think I’m anyone’s first choice of friend,” Kageyama said trying to find a way out. “Plus, I have a mild impression that you have more than friendship on your mind.”

            “Maybe,” Oikawa shrugged. “Or maybe I just use my flirtatious nature as a way to mask my own insecurities?”

            “Yeah, ok,” Kageyama said pulling his sleeve free from Oikawa’s fingers. “I’ll call you when I break a bone, or something.”

            “Wait here,” Oikawa said pulling out his note pad and pen from his pocket in his doctors coat. He scribbled down his number and tore off a piece of the paper. He grabbed Kageyama’s free hand, flipped it over and forcibly opened his fingers to place the paper on his palm. “So you can actually call when you break a bone.” Kageyama rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away stuffing the piece of paper in his back pocket. “Or you can text me too. I’m an excellent texter.”

            “I’ll get right on that,” Kageyama said feeling more and more conflicted as the conversation went on. “Goodbye doctor,” he said tightening his grip on the ice pack with a solid crunch, and stalked off into the waiting room.

            “Hey babe,” Hinata said getting up when he saw Kageyama walk in. “Was everything ok?”

            “Yeah, it’s all fine now,” Kageyama said not stopping and just walking towards the exit. “We don’t have to come back again. Also thanks for driving me.”

            “It’s no problem,” Hinata said getting out his car keys. “I asked my boss if I could drive my sexy boyfriend to the hospital to get his stitches removed because he hurt himself because he’s a moron,” Kageyama made a face at him as he got into the passenger seat, “and he told me ‘yeah Shou, of course you can. Just as long as that sexy daddy boyfriend of yours pays you back with a blowjob,’ so yeah you heard it from him babe. You got to pay up,” Hinata said buckling himself up, smirking at Kageyama who was icing his shin and rolling his eyes.

            “Can I open up a tab instead?” Kageyama said as he shook his ice pack. “Also I think I’d like to have a word with your manager. We need to discuss what is appropriate to do in the workplace.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth Kageyama felt a pang of déjà vu.

            “Ha! That’s rich coming from you,” Hinata laughed as he pulled out of the parking spot. “ Mr. ‘make Lev take lunch so we can fuck in the back office’ right? I mean, I agreed and it was a great idea, but get off that high horse mister.”

            “Fine,” Kageyama grinned remember that afternoon, as Hinata drove out of the parking lot. “I meant like, more talking like that with other people. You’re mine as much as I’m yours.”

            “Of course babe,” Hinata said taking Kageyama hand as he drove. “What’s with this new possessive streak all of a sudden?” Kageyama tensed slightly in his seat, feeling nervous and guilty. “This past week you’ve been all ‘Hinata pretty, Hinata mine’- gives me hickeys for hours on end- which honestly is unbelievably hot and no complaints here, I just wanted to know what spurred this on? Or who? So I can thank them.” Kageyama’s mind flashed between images of large deft hands with cheerful confident smiles, and quiet piercing eyes with dual toned hair. He tried to keep his face from showing what he was thinking, but Hinata was too fast for him.

            “Ah so it is a person,” Hinata said knowingly. Kageyama’s face blanched as he looked over at Hinata warily. Hinata was just smirking at him, tightening his grip on Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama looked at him confused, looking for the malice or anger in Hinata’s smile, but found none. “I had a feeling something had happened to trigger you.”

            “It’s not a big deal, I just-” Kageyama rushed trying to come up with an explanation that didn’t involve relieving too much of the truth.

            “Kageyama, I don’t care, it’s fine,” Hinata said reassuringly. “If someone said something to you that made you... I don’t know, second-guess yourself, or us, or even made you feel anything other than completely secure in us, and what you feel like you need to do is just be more possessive and that’ll help? Who am I to stop you?” Hinata glanced at Kageyama who was staring, wide-eyed at him. “I mean, _I_ don’t feel insecure about us. Ok, sure we argue, but that’s good. That means we care enough about each other to argue. I know I care a lot about you, and I’d like to think you care a lot about me, right?” Kageyama nodded enthusiastically, but Hinata was looking at the road.

            “Ye-yes, yes I do,” Kageyama breathed.

            “Then that’s all that matters,” Hinata shrugged squeezing Kageyama’s hand. “Look, there are going to be people who are going to try to come between us. It’ll happen many times over the course of our life, but that doesn’t mean our relationship is in danger every time someone else expresses an interest in you or me. It just means we both fucking scored the jackpot and we are each dating a hot piece of ass and obviously other people are going to want in.” Kageyama snorted, surprised by the turn of that sentence. “But seriously, if I went ballistic every time I saw someone give you _the look_ or tried to flirt with you, I’d never be normal.”

            “What?” Kageyama said surprised. _He said ‘our life’_

            “Dude, it’s like you’re not even there!” Hinata said laughing, unlinking their hands to gesture with his. “We’ve already had the conversation of how hot you are, we’re not doing that again.”

            “No no, I’m just surprised that you think that happens that much,” Kageyama laughed trying to cover up the running thoughts in his mind. “That you would be perpetually freaking out.”

            “Uh, because you are a hot piece of ass that people want in on,” Hinata said like it was obvious. Kageyama grimaced but laughed anyway at his boyfriend’s earnestness. “I wouldn’t be surprised if there were at least 5 different people right now, in love with you.”

            “Anyone I know?” Kageyama asked. The mood in the car shifted. Kageyama felt like this conversation had suddenly taken a turn in a direction they weren’t prepared to go into yet. But he couldn’t stop himself from pursuing it. He knew that with the recent revelation from Kenma and the persistent interest from Oikawa that having this conversation would not be the best idea right now. But there was a part of him that felt...

            “Well- I’m- there’s probably... I mean I’m,” Hinata stuttered inelegantly. “I’m sure there’s someone” he finished weakly gripping both hands on the wheel tightly. Kageyama wanted nothing more than push the topic, to try to get some validation. But he knew he was just feeling vulnerable and he would never for give himself if he pushed Hinata too soon. All Kageyama could see in his mind were two petite figures dancing closely in a dark, pulsing club, one then laying his head on the other as gentle loving fingers carded through orange locks. The thought of it made his stomach twist uncomfortably, remembering what he learned after that- what he’d still yet to tell Hinata he knew. Yet he could taste the words forming on his tongue.

            “We should pick up Aiko, it’s already 3:30,” Kageyama said changing the subject. He could see in his periphery Hinata let out a relieved breath before humming in agreement. They sat in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Kageyama watched Hinata’s profile as he drove; looking at the slopes and curves of his face and the glint of gold around his neck thinking about how bad he wanted to tell him, and how bad of an idea that really was especially when he could feel a tiny slip of paper in his back pocket.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was so weird rereading this to proof read it cause where i am in writing future chapters is so angsty my head hurts from the switch.

* * *

           It took him a week. One entire week of taking out the slip of paper, staring at it and stuffing it in his sock drawer and repeating that dozens of times. Kageyama had no idea why the thought of plugging in Oikawa’s number into his phone and sending him a text scared him so much, but it did. And yet there he was staring at his phone, horrified at the short, **hey, this is Kageyama** he just sent Oikawa at 11:42pm on a Friday night.

            Kageyama sat on his couch, waiting up for Hinata to come back from baking the last of his large weekend orders like he normally does. They hadn’t really talked much about Hinata’s promise for Kageyama to “never sleep alone” over a two weeks prior. But he had indeed never slept alone. Hinata would always come back to Kageyama’s apartment and stay the night and had been to for two weeks straight. They have been effectively living together without ever really planning it or talking about it. There was something so perfectly natural about them living together that Kageyama feared that if he brought up the notion of discussing it out loud, the whole thing would fall apart under observation.

            Shaken from his thoughts by his phone vibrating in his hands, Kageyama anxiously looked down at his phone to see he received a text back from Oikawa. Getting up quickly and checking to make sure Aiko hadn’t gotten out of bed and her door was closed, Kageyama sat back down on the couch and read Oikawa’s text.

**> Hey!! I was wondering if you were ever actually going to text me**

Kageyama frowned down at his phone. He had been wondering that exact thing himself all week. He wasn’t sure what exactly he felt that kept him from contacting him and then trying to keep it a secret, but it felt like a mix of guilt and shame.

**< yeah, me too. I’m still not sure why I did though** 

**> maybe I’m just so charming it’s hard to stay away from me**

**< I doubt that **

**> maybe you do actually want to be my friend and you don’t want to admit it**

**< also very doubtful**

**> ok, maybe you just like me and you’re thinking about that sexy doctor fantasy**

**< the least likely of the bunch**

**> that’s ok you don’t have to tell me your real reason now. I’m sure I can grind it out of you later**

**< do I have to remind you that I have a boyfriend? **

**> Tobio, I was just making a comment. You read into that with your pervy mind**

**< says the guy who wanted me to picture him in a sexy doctor fantasy **

Kageyama set his phone down. It was now 11:48pm and Hinata wasn’t back yet and part of him hoped he would stay out just a little bit longer. The more rational part of him knew that he never was out this late and there must be a reason for that and he should probably call him to make sure he was ok. as he reached for his phone he got another text from Oikawa.

**> so fantasizing about me aside, what is a father of four year old doing on this Friday night?**

**< I’m not really doing anything**

**> so I was your first choice of entertainment? I’m so flattered**

**< no, it’s just Hinata isn’t home yet and there was nothing good on TV**

**> I’m going to just assume that I was your first choice. **

**< you weren’t**

**> but you’re texting another boy when your boyfriend’s not home... very shady Tobio**

**< you’re literally in your 30’s you’re not a boy**

**> does it sound better that you are talking to another _man_ behind your boyfriends back?**

Kageyama threw his phone down and watched it bounce across the couch. Crossing his arms and frowning, Kageyama slumped annoyed in his seat. He wasn’t doing anything wrong; Hinata called and texted his friends all the time. Kageyama even over heard him on the phone with _Kenma._ But he’s not friends with Oikawa. In fact Oikawa has explicitly stated to him that he was interested in him- with all the sexual implications that come with that. But Kenma told Kageyama that he was in love with Hinata and yet they were friends just fine. And Hinata never told him about that. Just as Kageyama came to his rationalization, he felt his phone vibrate. He reached over and grabbed it, flipping it over to see he had another text from Oikawa.

**> I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you were doing anything bad. I have a really horrible sense of humor that I forget other people don’t have. I really do just want to be friends. **

Kageyama sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. Of course he would over think things and see trouble where there wasn’t any. He knew he had no intention of pursuing anything romantic with Oikawa.  And hadn’t Hinata told him that there was nothing to worry about between them and things were solid. He knew how he felt about Hinata and talking to some guy, handsome or not wasn’t going to change that.

**< you didn’t offend me don’t worry, and... I’d be your friend I guess**

**> you guess?**

**< well I don’t really have many “friends”**

**> how is that even possible?**

**< I just don’t. Like you said, I’m a father of a four year old, when would I have time to go and make friends?**

**> fair enough.**

**> but what about Hinata? Isn’t he your friend?**

**< He doesn’t count**

**> why is that? He’s your boy- _friend_**

**< exactly. It’s different. **

**> but you guys were never friends first?**

**< um no not really. I kind of just went to his bakery with my daughter until we started dating**

**> wow. how romantic.**

**< I never claimed to be romantic. **

Kageyama got caught up in texting in a way that he hadn’t in a while. It was different from texting Hinata, which usually had a flirtatious or sometimes overtly sexual insinuation. This was like talking to... a friend. In a manner that was different from Yachi or Tanaka, that if he was hard pressed to admit, were probably his friends. Yachi always came with the territory of Aiko and his personal life; Tanaka came with talking about either tattoos or something Kageyama usually found personally invasive. But Oikawa was just asking questions and giving him his own response, never asking anything too personal but not shying away from being blunt. He found it easy to talk to Oikawa after a while and found himself telling him things he didn’t think he would. Kageyama told him about Yachi and Aiko. He told him about becoming a tattooist and going to art school. He told him about how it really is to raise a child mostly on your own. And in return Oikawa told him about how his sister is a surgeon and that’s what inspired him to enter into the medical field. He told Kageyama about being the only gay member of his family and what that meant to his marginally traditional parents. He told Kageyama about needing to leave the city where he was from and leave his suffocating family behind to take this residency even though he knew no one there. Kageyama lost track of the time. Soon he felt himself growing tired but trying to keep awake to answer the next message. He kept doing that several times until he heard the key in the lock of the front door. He looked down at his phone. 2:31am.

            “Hey Hinata,” Kageyama yawned stretching on the couch. “You’re back late.” Hinata jumped at the sound of Kageyama’s voice.

            “Dude, you scared me,” Hinata said clutching his chest. “I didn’t think you’d still be up, didn’t you get my text?” Kageyama looked perplexed at Hinata. He looked at his phone and saw that he had two more texts from Oikawa. Ignoring those for the moment, he went to the list of text conversations and saw that he had one unread text from Hinata over 2 hours ago.

**> hey babe, this cake is actually taking me and Daichi longer than we expected, so don’t wait up for me. I should be home in an hour hopefully but who knows. Miss you!! <3 **

           Kageyama felt horrible. He had been so distracted by Oikawa that he had completely neglected his actual boyfriend. He stared at the text in his hands, completely confused to how he could have missed this considering being on his phone the entire time.

            “But it’s ok,” Hinata said kissing his forehead. “I’m starving actually, I think I’m going to make something,” he said walking towards the kitchen. Kageyama just watched him walk away, placing his phone on the couch and following after him.

            “I’m glad you’re back,” Kageyama said kissing the top of his head lightly and leaning against the counter watching as Hinata took out food for a sandwich. “How was the cake thing?”

            “Ugh, ‘orribly diffcul’,” Hinata said with a mouth full of cheese. “Honestly, why would someone order a four tier cake and expect that to look perfect? Odd numbers Kageyama! Things look good in odd numbers!”

            “I know, I went to art school,” Kageyama said amusedly as he watched Hinata stack together a huge sandwich. “I know all about Fibonacci’s numbers.”

            “Exactly!” Hinata said gesturing animatedly with a slice of turkey. “Obviously the lady who ordered this ‘4-tierd cake’ for her husband has no concept of what looks good visually. You eat with your eyes first Kageyama,” he said seriously pointing at Kageyama who raised his hands in surrender.

            “I completely understand,” Kageyama said completely amused. “What was the cake for anyway?”

            “Oh you’ll love this,” Hinata said in a tone that Kageyama suggested he would not. “She got her husband this fucking 4-tierd cake to commemorate the 16th anniversary of them _dating._ ” Kageyama grimaced, crossing his arms. “ _I know._ And get this; they have been married already for 10 years! Why keep celebrating that you started dating? Celebrate the marriage, that’s more permanent.”

            “Yeah, no... I just don’t get it,” Kageyama shrugged, still making a face. “Fine, a nice diner and kinky sex for nostalgic purposes, but a 4-tier cake? It’s a bit much.”

            “Oh that’s because I didn’t tell you the best part!” Hinata said taking a large bite out of his sandwich. “The reason she wanted to get this big of a cake was because and I quote, ‘it’s like our relationship is turning 16 and I want to throw it a Sweet Sixteen party’. Babe, I literally almost threw up on her.”

            “Oh my god that’s so weird,” Kageyama laughed watching Hinata angrily eat his sandwich.

            “Kageyama, straight people are so weird,” Hinata said in his most reasonable voice. “Please, can we promise never to become on of those weird straight couples that do things like throw Sweet Sixteen’s for our relationship?”

            “I’m sure there are several things that will stop is from becoming a weird straight couple,” Kageyama said astutely. He felt a gratifying twist in his gut hearing Hinata plan for their relationship to last long enough for multiple anniversaries. He loved hearing Hinata talk about their future together like it was a given. “You and me both being guys is probably number one.”

            “Yeah probably,” Hinata smirked, taking another bite of his sandwich. “So let’s also promise to never become one of those weird gay couples that hates children and throws extravagant parties for their Chihuahuas,” he said taking a step closer to Kageyama. he caught a glint of gold around Hinata’s neck that shot happiness through him.

            “Well we already have Aiko so I don’t think hating children will be an issue,” Kageyama said forcing himself to say ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ to see Hinata’s reaction. He wasn’t disappointed.

            “Yeah, we do,” Hinata beamed up brightly at Kageyama who smiled warmly down at him. “All we have to do now is make sure once Aiko becomes an adult we don’t fall into the hidden ‘old gay men trap’ of being bitter.”

            “Oh I’m already bitter,” Kageyama said softly, bring his mouth down to Hinata’s.

            “Good thing I’m sweet enough for the both of us,” Hinata whispered just as he closed the gap between them. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok guys, big time skip here in this one (although the time skips are like an estimated time jump, not a hard and fast exact time skip, so if some timing feels weird later, that's why) 
> 
> the angst is like really starting in this one and it's just going to get harder from here on. (like seriously i can't write a chapter anymore that doesn't make my chest hurt or make me cry, like it's bad) 
> 
> i also want to remind everyone (for now and future chapters) to keep in mind that this story is told from only kageyama's perspective. an he is an unreliable narrator, which is done purposefully.

* * *

**_Two months later:_ **

            It was 6:30 am and Kageyama was tired. He sat, sleepy and alone at the dining room table thumbing the rim of his mug of tea. It had been another restless night filled with nightmares. Kageyama rubbed his eyes free of sleep pushing the mug further away from him. Another night of minimal sleep. Another night of waking up with a scream on his lips and no breath in his lungs. Another night of making sure he didn’t wake Hinata when he woke up.

            He pulled over his phone. A handful of emails, two texts from Oikawa and it was only 6:34am. Kageyama turned his phone over and took another sip of his tea though it had long gone cold. He could hear light shuffling from down the hallway coming closer to the dinning room.

            “I thought I’d find you here,” Hinata said yawning as he came shuffling in scratching his bare chest. “Your side of the bed had gone cold, how long have you been up?” he said draping himself over Kageyama’s back.

            “Not too long,” Kageyama lied, lightly kissing the side of Hinata’s head. Hinata kissed the top of his head as he got up, walking over to the counter to make himself some tea. “Yachi is coming back from London today, so we’re picking her up from the airport.” Hinata nodded as he put his teabag in his mug.

            “Let’s use my car,” Hinata said pouring the hot water into his mug. “Yours was making a weird sound yesterday.”

            “Of course it was,” Kageyama sighed getting up and putting his mug in the sink. “So... do you have to go into the bakery today?” he asked coming up behind Hinata and putting his hands on Hinata waist. Hinata leaned his head back against Kageyama’s chest as Kageyama moved his hands along Hinata’s abdomen.

            “Well aren’t you handsy this morning?” Hinata said softly, tilting his head up towards Kageyama’s face. Kageyama hummed as he rested his cheek against Hinata’s head as he roamed his hands up Hinata’s chest. “Now why would you be so nice to me, hmm?” Hinata said as Kageyama kissed the side of his neck. “Maybe cause you want...” Hinata glanced up at Kageyama who was still mouthing at his neck, “...apple cider doughnuts?”

            “Oh my god you’ll make them?” Kageyama said happily, pulling his arms back and tilting his head forward to look at Hinata’s face. “I didn’t think you’d agree so fast.”

            “Fine,” Hinata said rolling eyes and pushing Kageyama’s arms off him. “Hey do you have to go to the bakery today?” Hinata said mimicking Kageyama as he prepared his tea. “I’m just a big doughnut eating machine that uses my incredible boyfriend for his baking skills, making him go into the bakery on a Sunday when he doesn’t have to,” Hinata said continuing to mimic Kageyama as he walked back toward the bedroom.

            Kageyama smirked as he watched his boyfriend walk down the hall. He was glad that Hinata hadn’t noticed that he woke up in the middle of the night again. He had been getting better about not waking up Hinata in the middle of the night anymore. Not that his nightmares had gotten better, but Kageyama felt like he had gotten better at controlling his waking. Recently he could feel the scream building in his throat and would wake himself up which has led to the new occasional, more horrible phenomenon of being aware that he’s asleep and not being in control.

            “Babe, where’s my yellow hoodie?” Hinata said from the bedroom. Kageyama could hear him rummaging through the drawers of their dresser. “Forget it, I’m wearing something of yours,” he said not waiting for Kageyama’s answer.

            “As usual,” Kageyama mumbled to himself as pocketed his phone. He listened to Hinata bang around in their bedroom until he came out struggling to pull on Kageyama’s black pullover that was obviously too big for him.

            “God, why do you have such long arms,” Hinata said pushing up his sleeves. “Ugh and these pants are always so-” he pulled his very tight skinny jeans up by the belt loops.

            “Well, you are wearing _my_ sweater,” Kageyama said walking over and fixing Hinata’s sleeves. Hinata smiled up at him as he folded the hem of the sleeve. Kageyama glanced down at him and saw Hinata smiling up at him. “What?” he said with a self-conscious smile.

            “You’re ‘dad-ing’ me,” Hinata smirked at him. Kageyama snorted as he pushed Hinata’s sleeve up to his elbow.

            “I’m ‘dad-ing’ you?” Kageyama chuckled as he worked on the other sleeve.

            “Yeah, you’re doing those ‘dad’ things you do for Aiko,” Hinata said settling his hands on Kageyama’s hips. “Like folding my sleeves up for me. Dad things.”

            “Dad things,” Kageyama repeated smiling. “You do dad things too, you know,” he said putting his hands on Hinata’s waist.

            “I’m not a dad though,” Hinata said shrugging.

            “No, but you’re kind of like a dad,” Kageyama said carefully.

            “To Aiko?” Hinata said surprised.

            “Yeah, to who else?” Kageyama chuckled lightly. Hinata just looked down surprised, his hands slipping off Kageyama’s hips a bit. Kageyama’s confidence fading, he tried to think of a way to backtrack.

            “You...” Hinata began staring a point past Kageyama’s shoulder, “you want me to be a dad to Aiko?” Kageyama stared down at Hinata not sure how to respond. He wanted to tell him absolutely yes. That he felt like Aiko saw Hinata as another parent. That Kageyama trusted Hinata as much as he did Yachi. That he couldn’t imagine his apartment without the sounds and smells of Hinata and Aiko baking on the weekends. That Kageyama has never felt as close to someone as he does with Hinata. But all his words caught in his throat and none of that came out.

            “Uh, yeah. I guess,” Kageyama rumbled shrugging. Hinata didn’t look convinced. If anything Kageyama thought Hinata looked a bit despondent. Kageyama felt Hinata’s hands slip off his waist entirely.

            “Oh ok, um...” Hinata said biting his lower lip. “I’m just going pop over to the bakery for the baking tin...” he said walking away from Kageyama who just watched Hinata grab his keys and wallet off the counter.

            “Er, ok,” Kageyama said thrown off balance suddenly. “Um... I’ll see you in a bit.”

            “I guess,” Hinata said not turning around as he closed the door behind him. Kageyama just stared at the closed door in complete confusion.

            _What the fuck..._

            Kageyama walked over and laid down on the couch.  He gazed up at the ceiling trying to figure out what went wrong. They had been talking fine until Kageyama felt that his answer to Hinata’s question fell short of it’s expectation. But he wasn’t exactly sure what Hinata’s expectation was in the first place. He laid there for quite awhile, watching the sun creep in through the curtains.  It was still early on a Sunday morning. Kageyama knew that it was mostly the case that Oikawa was not awake but he didn’t care too much about waking up his friend. Over the past couple of months the pair had actually made an relatively close friendship. Since Kageyama had never really known what it meant to have a friend as an adult that wasn’t either a co-worker or a romantic interest, he didn’t know what to do with Oikawa at first. But he found him surprisingly easy to talk to and a relatively good person for helping him reason out situations. Which is what he felt like he needed at this moment as he pulled out his phone and tapped Oikawa’s contact to call him. He stretched out on the couch as the phone was ringing.

            “This better be fucking important,” Oikawa mumbled into the phone as he picked it up after the fourth ring.

            “It is, I need your help with something,” Kageyama said resting his feet on the armrest of the couch.

            “But it’s so early in the morning Tobio,” Oikawa whined sleepily.

            “But it just happened, and I need to know what to do before Hinata comes back,” Kageyama pleaded.

            “Just put on some lingerie, that usually fixes things,” Oikawa murmured tiredly.

            “Um, maybe not for this one,” Kageyama said trying not to think about that image at the moment.

            “I’m busy Tobio,” Oikawa said sleepily. “I’ve got 2 Brazilian models here and they want to spit roast me, so you’ve interrupted me at a very inopportune moment, I’ll call you back once I’ve regained consciousness.”

            “That’s not even one of your better excuses,” Kageyama laughed shaking his head. “Come on, five minutes and you can go back to sleeping in your pillow fortress. Alone.”

            “Ugh fine, what is it?” Oikawa said sounding more awake.

            “I... may have offended Hinata somehow and I’m not sure how to make amends,” Kageyama began unsteadily. “He asked me something directly but I didn’t give him the straightforward answer I think he was looking for.”

            “Oh did he say he...” Oikawa said sounding completely awake now.

            “No, no he didn’t,” Kageyama said quickly. “But I think, had this conversation gone better, he might have?”

            “Why don’t you say it first since you’re dying to, obviously,” Oikawa said. Kageyama could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

            “That’s not the point,” Kageyama said trying to change the subject. “He asked me if I wanted him to be a dad to Aiko.”

            “Oh wow,” Oikawa exhaled. “And what’d you say?”

            “I said: yeah, I guess,” Kageyama said slightly sheepishly.

            “Yeah, I guess!?” Oikawa all but shouted in his ear, causing Kageyama to pull the phone away from his ear a bit. “He asks you if you want him to be a vitally important figure to your _daughter_ and you answer your boyfriend with ‘yeah, I guess’!? Tobio!?”

            “Yeah, I thought it might be bad,” Kageyama said dejectedly.

            “Literally, anything else would have been better,” Oikawa scolded. “How did he react?”

            “He just got kind of quiet,” Kageyama said sadly. “And then he just left for the bakery without saying much.”

            “Well, you’re going to need a lot more than lingerie,” Oikawa said accusingly. “You can’t give people vague answers like that. At some point you need to be straightforward with him.” Kageyama could hear Oikawa sigh on the other end, and the sounds of the bed rustling. “Look Tobio, all he wanted was some reassurance. Everyone needs it from time to time. I know he tells you he’s confident about you guys but at some point you need to give him a bit more confidence. Or it’s all going to fall apart underneath you.”

            “But it’s not like I’m distant with him,” Kageyama tried to reason. “For god sakes, we live together. I didn’t even move in with Yachi until after she got pregnant. And yet here we are, not even half a year, and we’re living together. That has to say something doesn’t it?”

            “Of course it does,” Oikawa said. “To you. That difference is pronounced _to you_. Maybe Hinata just needs a bit more... obvious reassurement. Sometimes, things might be so obvious to you but completely unclear to others. And until you make it clear to them, they may never truly realize what you’re thinking.”

            “Ugh that sounds like it requires so much talking,” Kageyama groaned running hand down his face.

            “Oh wow talking to your boyfriend, what a hard ship,” Oikawa said sarcastically. “Seriously, you need to be more clear. Just fucking talking to him.”

            “But I don’t want to worry him,” Kageyama said seriously. “I worry him already with the stress and the nightmares. It’s so hard to get out exactly what I want to say, so I often just say nothing. It’s easier than saying the wrong thing, or too much.”

            “That is going to create more problems in the future,” Oikawa said earnestly. “You don’t understand that communication is key right?”

            “Ok, I understand that,” Kageyama said trying to gloss over it. “But he doesn’t tell me everything like he wants me to. Why should I tell him anymore then he tells me?”

            “That’s horrible to say, Tobio,” Oikawa said disappointedly.

            “Well, you know what, I don’t care,” Kageyama said growing more annoyed. “I don’t think I have to tell him everything.”

            “But you told me a lot. You told me about your mom and your daughter and growing up,” Oikawa reasoned. “It’s not like you can’t do it. You just have to force yourself to talk to him about things you might not want, as you say, ‘tainting your relationship’.”

            “We’re going to keep that between us,” Kageyama said seriously. “If I told him... I just don’t want to open that can of worms right now.”

            “Look, the only way you’re going to make this work for a long time is by being honest with he each other,” Oikawa said reasonably. “Maybe you just have to take that first step. I love talking things out with you, but I can’t be your only source of reason.”

            “But can’t you?” Kageyama whined. “I like this more with you than with him. You’re not as judgy.”

            “Well that’s because I don’t live with you,” Oikawa said. Kageyama could practically hear him shrugging. “I’m sure if we lived together I’d be judging you all the time. And we could do these little desperate calls in person.”

            “I’m not desperate,” Kageyama said wounded. “I just couldn’t wait until I saw you in person. Plus Hinata just left so it was the perfect opportunity.”

            “Yeah, whatever,” Oikawa said with a smile in his voice. “Go talk to your boyfriend. Buy some lingerie. Do some kinky shit. Apologize.”

            “Why are you so hung up on me wearing lingerie?” Kageyama said incredulously.

            “I’m not,” Oikawa said defensively. “Whatever, shut up. Goodbye.”

            “Bye,” Kageyama laughed as he heard the click of the phone call ending. He was putting the phone down on his stomach as he heard the bang of the front door closing. “Hinata?”

            “Yeah,” he said shortly. Kageyama turned his head to get a glimpse of him walking into the kitchen. He got off the couch and walked in behind him.

            “You’re back faster than I thought you’d be,” Kageyama said carefully as he leaned against the counter, watching Hinata start to take out ingredients for the doughnuts. Hinata didn’t respond he only shrugged. Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, watching his boyfriend forcefully gather his baking supplies on the counter. “Um, are you ok?”

            “ _Yeah, I guess_ ,” Hinata bit out as he turned on the oven. Kageyama watched him confused. He seemed angrier than he’d normally be after they’d miscommunicated.

            “You brought the doughnut tray to make them here?” Kageyama said looking at the tray for 12 mini doughnuts.

            “I guess I didn’t remember that I had already packed it in my car to bring to the apartment,” Hinata said not looking up at Kageyama who was still staring at him confused. “I just went to get the apple cider,” Hinata said putting it down hard on the counter.

            “Oh ok,” Kageyama said looking at Hinata’s sharp movements. “Um, about earlier I just-”

            “You know what,” Hinata said turning to him, “it’s fine.” Hinata gave a short smile that didn’t reach his eyes before returning to making the batter. Kageyama felt at a loss for what to do. He stood up from the counter and brought his head down to kiss Hinata softly. “Um, could you not right now?” Hinata said pulling his head back. Kageyama froze with his head bent slightly downward and his hand trying to gently cup Hinata’s cheek.

            “Uh, ok sorry,” Kageyama said dumbfounded. He walked out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch trying to figure out what changed.   


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love how consistent you guys's theories are, it makes me feel like i'm actually writing something that makes sense, with proper foreshadowing and linear storytelling. I'm not going to confirm or deny any theories, but like...guys you know. go with your gut. 
> 
> also wheniwrotethischaptericried ok thanks for reading!!!

* * *

            “Hinata, did I tell you that mommy is bringing me back fancy pencils from London?” Aiko said happily as she held Hinata’s hand. They were standing at the international gate at the airport waiting for Yachi to come out.

            “You did,” he smiled down at her. She beamed up at him squeezing his hand.

            “And did I tell you that she bought art stuff to hang in my room at home?” she said craning her neck, looking to see if she could get a glimpse of the people walking out.

            “You told me that too,” Hinata said smiling down at her and giving her hand a light squeeze.

            “Sorry, I’m just really excited to see mommy,” Aiko said jumping up and down.

            “Aiko, don’t jump,” Kageyama said placing his hand on top of her hand to keep her from bouncing. He fixed her purple star hair clip that held back her bangs that had gotten displaced with her jumping.

            “Sorry, daddy. I’m just excited,” she said touching her hair clip with her free hand. “I’m wearing a dress mommy got me,” she said turning to Hinata again gesturing to her lavender dress underneath her light blue jacket.

            “You look beautiful Muffin,” Hinata said. Kageyama watched him smiled down at Aiko, but quickly looked away once he caught his eye.

            “They’re announcing her plane landing right now,” Kageyama said pointing up at the board. “She should be out any minute.”

            “Yay! Mommy!” Aiko said bouncing on her heels. Kageyama turned to look at Hinata who was pointedly not looking over at him. He watched as Hinata’s eyes scanned the crowd of people that started to come out of the gate, willing him to just look over at himself for a second. Kageyama didn’t know why, but he felt like he just needed a grounding smile or even just a look from Hinata, to settle his nerves, maybe reassure him that they’ll be ok. But he received none. In fact they had barely spoken apart from what was necessary since that morning, lucky unnoticed by Aiko who had been too engrossed by the doughnuts.

            “I think I see her,” Hinata said pointing to a short blonde head. Aiko raised her hands up at Hinata indicating she wanted to be picked up.

            “That’s mommy!” Aiko squealed excitedly once settled in Hinata’s grasp. “Mommy! Mommy!” She cried, waving her little hands to try to get her mothers attention. Kageyama watched as Yachi heard her daughter’s voice, searching for the location of it. Her eyes lit up in recognition as she saw them three waiting for her and she rushed over ecstatically.

            “Hey guys!” she said as she ran over to them. She dropped her carry on bag on the floor and pulled Aiko in her arms. “Oh I missed you so much,” She said cradling her daughter in her arms.

            “I missed you too mommy,” Aiko said softly, tightening her tiny arms around her mother’s shoulders. Kageyama watched Yachi gently run her fingers through Aiko’s hair as she held her tight. With a small kiss to her forehead Yachi pulled back.

            “Hey, I missed you too,” she said pulling Kageyama into a hug, still holding onto Aiko between them. Kageyama wrapped his arms around Yachi small frame kissing the top of her head lightly. “I’m so glad to be back,” she said pulling back. She set Aiko down but held onto her hand. “It’s nice to see you again Hinata,” she said turning towards him and pulling him into a hug.

            “It’s nice to see you again too,” he said giving her a brief hug. He took a step back next to Kageyama as she turned around to search the crowds behind her.

            “Where’s- Oh there he is,” Yachi said waving her free hand over toward the baggage claim. Kageyama watched as a tall, brown haired man with freckles and a sweet smile walked over to her rolling over several bags. He tried to look over the crowd to find Yachi again once she put her hand down. “I’m over here Yamaguchi,” she called out, waving her hand up again.

            “Hey, Yachi I got your bags for you,” Yamaguchi said rolling two large suitcases over to her. He put them in front of her as he tucking an errant hair from his ponytail behind his ear. “Oh hey Kageyama,” he said dropping his backpack at her feet. He shook Kageyama’s hand and offered him a small smile. He looked down at a squirming Aiko. “Oh hey Aiko! I almost didn’t see you down there, you’re so tiny,” he cooed at her. “Hold on, I have,” he patted down his pockets and when he didn’t find what he was looking for bent down quickly and went into the small front pocket of his backpack, making a small pleased hum when he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a small thin but wide box and handed it to Aiko. “That’s for you. Those are each a specialty paintbrushes made from different animal hairs. There’s hog, horse, ox, and even badger and mongoose.”

            “Yamaguchi, thank you,” Aiko said reverently. She took the box out of his hand with a shaky tender hand. “Thank you so much,” she whispered not taking her eyes off the box.

            “I think you made her day,” Yachi said looking down at her daughter’s awestruck face. Yamaguchi just looked at her sheepishly, and smiled.

“I thought she might like it,” he shrugged. Yamaguchi turned around and looked back at the baggage claim, which had cleared out a bit. “I’ll be right back I have go get my bags,” he said quickly placing his hand on the small of Yachi’s back, leaning into her a bit as he spoke. Kageyama watched as he walked away to go get his bag, the small touch he gave Yachi not escaping his notice. When she looked up at him, Kageyama gave her a quirk of his eyebrow and she flushed immediately.

            “Shut up,” Yachi said smiling and looking away.

            “I didn’t say anything,” Kageyama said smiling at her. He glanced at Hinata for a second, who was staring at him confused. “They’re dating,” he said pointing his thumb at Yachi. She gave him a shove, mumbling for him to shut up. “I told her they were going to get together on this trip. She told me no. Guess who was right?”

            “Oh,” Hinata said looking over at Yachi who was blushing furiously. “Congrats.”

            “It’s no-nothing. It’s new,” she said trying to stop herself from blushing more. “We’ve just- it’s not- it’s just new, so yeah. It’s new.”

            “I wish I’d bet money,” Kageyama said as Yamaguchi walked over with two large suitcases of his own.

            “Hey, so I have to get home,” Yamaguchi said picking up his backpack from the floor. “My friend is waiting for me outside and he’s kind of impatient, but it was nice to see you again Kageyama. Oh and, sorry I never introduced myself,” he said to Hinata extending out his hand. “Yamaguchi.”

            “Hinata,” he said shaking his hand.

            “He’s my boyfriend,” Kageyama said to Yamaguchi, giving Hinata an slightly perplexed look when Hinata didn’t identify himself.

            “Oh ok, well it’s nice to meet you,” Yamaguchi said smiling. He grabbed the handle of his suitcases in both hands. “I’ll see you Monday,” Yamaguchi said bending down and placing a quick kiss on Yachi’s cheek. “Bye guys, bye Aiko,” he said he walked out toward the main exit. 

            “Alright, I need to get home now,” Yachi said picking up her bag. “I’m so jet lagged but also so hungry.”

            “Ok lets get you home then,” Kageyama said grabbing one of the handles of the suitcases and Hinata grabbed the other. Yachi held Aiko’s hand as they walked toward the other side exit near where they parked the car.

* * *

 

            “Oh my god it feels so good to be home,” Yachi said flopping down on her couch when they walked into her apartment. “Come here Aiko, come lay here with me,” she said reaching out her hand toward her daughter. Aiko happily toed off her shoes and climbed on top of the couch to lay between the back and her mother.

            “Yeah mommy, it feels so good to lay down,” she said cuddling up to her mother’s side.

            “I’m going to put your suitcases in your bedroom,” Kageyama said rolling them in. “Or do you want me to unpack them?”

            “If you want to unpack them that would be amazing,” Yachi said distantly. “It’s all clean, I hate packing dirty clothes.” She had already closed her eyes and turned to hold Aiko. Kageyama just shook his head smiling softly at them and rolled her luggage into her bedroom. He laid them down on the floor and opened them up and began unpacking 3 months worth of Yachi’s clothes. It reminded him of a much younger, much more closeted Kageyama helping Yachi unpack her things into her new apartment about half a year into their relationship. It was the first time he had been that up close and personal with her underwear; he had been completely uncomfortable- that should have been a clue.

             He remembers that night, after they finished unpacking all her meager things into her first tiny apartment, how hot that summer night was. They laid on the bedroom floor, in as little clothes as possible, in front of the sliding door to the minuscule balcony trying to catch a bit of a breeze to cool themselves off. They hadn’t even had much money at the time so they feasted on Cup Noodle and soda. Kageyama remembers liking those times. When he could forget about the weird feeling he got when he saw a handsome guy, or the almost paralyzing fear he felt when Yachi initiated some sexual interaction. Just being together with her felt like enough at the time. He remembers thinking “ _if I could have my life be like this moment forever, I’ll be happy._ ”

             But as Kageyama thinks back now he compares those moments to the ones he has had with Hinata. When they’re just lounging peacefully in the apartment on a Saturday night, Hinata resting against Kageyama’s side lightly holding the hand on Kageyama’s arm that’s draped over his shoulder, as they sit quietly and comfortable with each other watching TV. When Hinata is showing Aiko something in baking and he is so gentle with her and she is so trusting with him, and Kageyama is able to just watch them. When Kageyama is thrusting completely inside Hinata who clings to him like a lifeline as they rock and come together, pulling and pushing in unison, the only sounds in the room being their breaths and the rhythmic slapping of skin on skin. These are the moments where Kageyama finds himself thinking, “ _if I could have my life be like this moment forever, I’ll be happy._ ” And he knows that he has had a hundred more moments of epiphanies like those during his few months with Hinata than he ever had with 2 years with Yachi. And that makes his chest clench. And that makes his gut twist. And that makes him smile.

             “Why are you smiling down at Yachi’s bras?” Hinata asked breaking Kageyama’s trance. Kageyama blinked owlishly, turning to look up at Hinata standing in the doorway.

             “Oh I was just,” he looked back down at the suitcase full of bras and underwear, “remembering something.”

             “You were remembering something that made you smile when you were looking at her...” Hinata glanced down at the suitcase, “lingerie?”

            “Yeah, it’s nothing,” Kageyama said dismissively, opening her top drawer to put away her clothes. He looked over at Hinata who was wearing an odd expression that Kageyama couldn’t make out. “Um, are you alright?”

            “Uh yeah, I’m-” Hinata said flustered. “Um, I’m going to go get something to cook. Yachi doesn’t have any food since she was gone for so long but I’ll be right back,” he said not looking up at Kageyama’s face, his voice tight. He didn’t wait for a response and just walked out. Kageyama sighed running a hand through his hair. He had no idea how to approach mending things with Hinata.

            Kageyama set out unpacking the rest of Yachi’s things. The one good thing was that Yachi was incredibly organized. Everything had a place and Kageyama had no trouble finding each one for every item. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he had finished but the light from the window had started to turn golden. He heard a soft knock on the door as he was putting away the last of her shoes.

            “Thanks for putting it away for me,” Yachi said standing in the doorway. She tucked a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear as she went and sat on the bed. “I’m so tired I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it.”

            “No problem,” Kageyama said zipping up the now empty suitcase. “You should sleep though, you look a bit tired.” He rolled the suitcases over to her closet and placed them inside, closing the door behind him.

            “Trust me, I am 1000% more tired than I look,” she said laying back on the bed keeping her feet on the floor. “But I couldn’t sleep contorted on the couch like that. I don’t know how Aiko does it, that girl can sleep anywhere.”

            “She can and she has,” Kageyama said sitting down next to Yachi. “Once she fell asleep at the dentist, while he was cleaning her teeth.” He laughed at the memory of tiny three-year-old Aiko, drooling into the bib the dentist put on her. “She used to fall asleep in her high chair almost every night,” he said lying down next to Yachi who was giggling. “Sometimes I’d be feeding her and she’s chewing- or whatever toddlers with barely any  teeth do- and she’s closing her eyes like she’s falling asleep. Doing her two favorite things: eating and sleeping.”

            “God she’s so cute,” Yachi said sighing. Kageyama nodded his head as he looked up at the ceiling. He felt Yachi put her hand in his. “How did we make such a cute child?”

            “Do you need a diagram or...?” he said turning his head to look at her.

            “Well, no,” Yachi said smiling slightly still looking up at the ceiling. “But do you ever look at her and say to yourself: ‘that’s a little living, breathing part of me, and I made that’?”

            “I do,” he admitted quietly. “Honestly, her best qualities I usually recognize as yours. Her heart, and kindness, and amiability- that’s all you. But you know, she’s got dark hair and blue eyes so I guess that’s me,” he said looking up at the ceiling again. “Those are my parts.”

            “Kageyama you are more than just those parts,” she said earnestly. “If you can’t see that then there’s no way for me to show you that you’d believe. There’s not a part of you in her that I don’t like.”

            “Hinata told me that he doesn’t see a part of me that he doesn’t like,” Kageyama whispered towards the ceiling. “But that was months ago, and I think he’s changing his mind.”

            “Why don’t you wait until he actually tells you that?” Yachi said reasonably. “If he said that then he obviously doesn’t have a problem being honest and frank with you. Don’t jump to conclusions.”

            “I don’t think he’s entirely honest with me,” Kageyama said still not looking at Yachi. Saying that felt like the truth, but also felt hypocritical; he didn’t feel entirely honest with Hinata but he wasn’t about to admit that. Not yet.

            “Why?” she asked.

            “I had to find out from his ex-boyfriend who is his best friend, that he even was his ex-boyfriend,” Kageyama said quietly. “Hinata didn’t even tell me they dated. He still hasn’t. I found out from the guy and his sister.”

            “Oh... that’s- I mean it doesn’t necessarily mean-” she began.

            “He’s still in love with him,” he said cutting her off. He turned and saw her shocked face. “His ex-boyfriend I mean.”

            “Oh,” Yachi murmured.

            “Yeah,” he exhaled. He tightened his hold on Yachi’s hand in his.

            “Tobio...” she breathed softly, “are... are you in love with him?”

            “Yeah,” he sighed. He couldn’t turn to look at her, but he could feel her eyes on the side of his face. He didn’t know why but he could feel a hot burning behind his eyes, like emotional build up that has no proper method of release. He refused to cry.

            “Do you think he’s in love with you?” she asked gently.

            “I don’t know,” Kageyama said feeling one disobedient tear roll down his face toward the bed. “But all I know is I think about him all the time and I can’t even imagine one day with out him, let alone my life. I know that he makes me happier than I’ve ever been before; happy to a level I didn’t know I could reach. I know that Aiko loves him to pieces and that means more to me than any emotion I could have. And I know that I’ll do anything to keep him by my side forever. Which makes knowing that I could lose him so much harder.” Kageyama was properly crying now. Tears were running freely down the sides of his face and on the blankets below his head. He made no attempts to stop them or brush them away. Kageyama just lay there, clutching Yachi’s hand in his, crying.

            “Why do you think you’re going to lose him?” Yachi said thickly. Kageyama could hear the tears in her voice.

            “Because that’s what always happens.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not even going to say anything because at this point you should just know it's going to be angsty 
> 
> *warning* descriptions of sexaul situtations

* * *

            “But daddy I’m not tired,” Aiko whined letting her body go to dead weight in Kageyama’s grasp to get him to put her down. “Please let me stay up with you. It’s Friday daddy. Please?”

            “Belly you need sleep,” Kageyama said too tired to argue properly with her. “You’re going to starting kindergarten and you need to have a regular bed time.”

            “Hinata, tell daddy to let me stay up with you guys,” Aiko said trying to reach down over to Hinata who was sitting on the couch. “I want to stay up with you.”

            “Muffin, if your dad says that you need to go to sleep, you need to go to sleep,” Hinata reasoned, caressing her face. She pouted and hummed annoyed as she tried to wiggle free from Kageyama’s hold on her.

            “But I’m not tired,” she complained as Kageyama picked her up to hold her properly even though she continued to fidget.

            “Come on, you need to take a bath, and then go to bed,” Kageyama said trying to walk her toward the bathroom door. “I’ll read you any book you want, just come on please,” he tried negotiating with her.

            “No I don’t want to take a bath, I don’t want to go to sleep, I want to stay up,” Aiko pouted crossing her arms.

            “Ok well I’m going to put you in bed whether you want to or not because you need sleep Aiko,” Kageyama said sternly setting her down on top of the toilet seat lid and turning on the faucet for the bathtub. “And I’m not going to argue about it.” Kageyama watched as angry tears started to form in Aiko’s eyes as she pouted her lips together.

            “You’re being mean,” Aiko mumbled bitterly, crossing her arms. Kageyama sighed, putting his hands on his hips.

            “Aiko, how am I being mean?” Kageyama said looking up at the ceiling.

            “Because,” she huffed, crossing her arms further.

            “Fine, I’m being mean,” he said throwing his hands up in resignation. “I’m just a mean dad who is making you bathe and go to sleep. That’s fine, I can live with that.”

            “I want Hinata to give me a bath,” she said angrily wiping away a tear.

            “Fine,” Kageyama said slapping his hands on his sides. He stalked out of the bathroom and into the living room throwing himself down on the couch. “She wants you to give her a bath because I’m horrible and mean and whatever.”

            “Um, ok,” Hinata said getting up off the couch. Kageyama heard as Hinata entered the bathroom, talking softly to Aiko as he closed the door behind him. He let out a deep sigh crossing his arms on his chest.

            Aiko’s sleep resistance had been getting worse ever since Kageyama told her she would be starting Kindergarten the next week. He had been talking to her about it for a while but he assumed that the nearness of it must have frazzled her. It only escalated the previous weekend when Yachi came back from London with a new backpack for Aiko ready for her first day of school.

            Kageyama was in a sort of denial about her starting school as well. Even while he spent the summer making all the preparations- registering her for school, making sure she was up to date on her vaccinations, providing all the necessary custodial information- he was still rattled at the idea of his daughter going to school and it hadn’t yet felt _real_ to him. He knew in theory she’d eventually had to go to school but he never pictured her needing to go so soon. The whole idea had him more on edge than usual.

            Sitting on the couch with his arms crossing against his chest, Kageyama blankly stared out at the TV listening to the sounds turn from water splashing, to hair blow drying, to the mellow tones of Hinata reading Aiko to sleep. Lost in though, Kageyama didn’t even register Hinata sitting on the couch next to him.

            “She’s asleep now,” Hinata said softly, sitting next to him. “She must have been really tired, she fell sleep like two pages in.”

            “She gets over-tired and then works herself into a frenzy,” Kageyama said rubbing his eyes, feeling tired himself. “But you’re good with her. I sometimes I think she likes you better.” Hinata just shrugged non-committedly. Kageyama had been spending the past week trying to say little things like that, hopefully trying to atone for the mistake he made. He leaned over and kissed Hinata’s neck, putting his hand gently on his jaw. He felt Hinata tilt his head slightly to allow Kageyama more skin to work with.

            “Don’t give me anymore bruises on my neck,” Hinata whispered. “I always get weird looks from customers.”

            “So wear a turtleneck,” Kageyama mumbled against his skin.

            “Ew no, you wear a turtleneck,” Hinata said nudging Kageyama with his shoulder who just smiled against his skin. Hinata turned his body more towards Kageyama and went to straddle his lap. Hinata brought his lips down to Kageyama’s, winding his hands in Kageyama’s hair. Kageyama brought his hands to rest right at the base of Hinata’s spine, holding him close to his own pelvis. “How tired are you?” Hinata asked pulling back for a moment. “Are you too tired to-”

            “I’m not tired at all,” Kageyama lied closing the gap between them again, more forcibly this time. He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to admit how exhausted he really was; he just wanted Hinata.

            “Ok,” Hinata mumbled rolling himself against Kageyama. “Let’s, um, go to bedroom though first.”

            “Alright,” Kageyama said. He gripped Hinata tightly and stood up quickly from the couch.  He carefully walked them into their bedroom carrying Hinata the whole way, and closed the door behind them. Hinata breathed heavily as Kageyama set him down on the bed. Hinata quickly crawled up backwards, shedding his shirt and pants at the same time.

            “Lets do this quickly, I don’t think I can really wait today,” Hinata said reaching for the drawer where they kept their lube. “I’m just going to start on myself.”

            “Ok,” Kageyama breathed taking off his own shirt and pants. He picked up their clothes and put them on top of the dresser along with his phone, as Hinata began to liberally apply lube to his fingers and work them inside himself. Kageyama crawled over to him, watching Hinata’s face contort with concentration. Kissing down Hinata’s neck and chest, Kageyama fit his hard cock in his mouth, pressing his piercing along the shaft. He bobbed his head, up and down until he heard soft whimpering noises coming from above him.

            “I-I’m ready now,” Hinata breathed removing his fingers from inside himself. Kageyama leaned over and took the lube, pouring it on his dick and hand, making sure it was entirely covered, running the excess on Hinata’s entrance. “Please just do it,” Hinata breathed and Kageyama didn’t wait long to comply. He gingerly entered, pressing slowly into Hinata, taking shallow breaths as he forced himself not to push in all at once. He settled in completely, hovering over Hinata breathing softly against his chest.

            “I’m going to move now,” Kageyama said propping himself up on his arms as he felt Hinata wrap his legs around his waist. He looked down at Hinata who had his eyes closed with his lower lip between his teeth. Hinata rolled his hips upward in agreement, settling his hands on Kageyama’s shoulders. He slowly started moving in and out, looking for the bundle of nerves inside Hinata. However, Hinata was not that patient.

            “I need you go faster,” Hinata panted pulled Kageyama down closer to him. “Please just go faster. Go harder.”

            “Ok,” Kageyama said brushing aside his pendant necklace to kiss Hinata’s collarbone. He started thrusting a bit faster, not taking as much care to hit Hinata’s prostate with every movement. He wrapped his hands around Hinata’s shoulders; using it as leverage to push down each time he moved his hips up.

            “No, I need it faster,” Hinata panted again, scratching his nails down Kageyama’s back. “You’re being too gentle. Just fuck me harder.” Kageyama grunted frustratingly. He wanted to go fast enough for Hinata but he didn’t want to hurt him. “Be rough. Hurt me.” Kageyama leaned back and hoisted Hinata’s hips upward, holding them up with his hands. He began a faster pace, his nails digging into Hinata’s skin as he violently snapped his hips into him. Hinata laid breathing heavily, finally getting what he wanted as Kageyama fucked into to him at a relentless pace.

            “Is this hard enough?” Kageyama growled, tightly gripping Hinata hips. Hinata threw his arms behind his head and held onto the headboard, closing his eyes tightly panting heavily. 

            “Finally,” Hinata breathed. Kageyama snarled annoyed, as he fucked brutally into a blissfully pleased Hinata. Kageyama could feel the orgasm pooling in his gut as his nails bit into Hinata’s skin. He looked down at Hinata, silently willing him to open his eyes and look up at him. He was starring menacingly down at Hinata, thrusting violently into him when he heard he phone vibrating on the dresser. He turned his head slightly, slowing down a bit, to see Oikawa’s contact calling him on the screen.

            “Jus-just ignore it,” Kageyama said turning back the Hinata, bending over to mouth at his abdomen.  

            “I don’t-” Hinata stuttered blinking looking past Kageyama towards the dresser. He released his hands from the headboard and placed them on the pillow behind him. The phone continued to vibrate loudly against the wood.

            “Here come on, I’m going hard and fast. We’re almost there,” Kageyama said gripping Hinata tightly. Grazing his teeth along Hinata’s skin, he nipped and the skin on his abs. “See, I’m be rough. I’m hurting you.” He could still here the impatient buzz of his phone on the dresser.

            “Um, no I’m- I don’t think I can,” Hinata said weakly. “I’m out of it now,” he said pushing at Kageyama’s hands. Kageyama abruptly stopped moving, releasing his hold on Hinata and setting his hips down on the bed. After a brief second of staring down at Hinata, he slowly pulled his now painfully hard dick out of Hinata against all of his instincts to put it straight back into the pulsating heat.

            “Oh ok, I’m sorry,” Kageyama said reaching over for something to clean Hinata up with. He bent over and kissed the crescents his fingernails left welted in Hinata’s skin. He saw that Hinata had already become completely soft. “Are you alright? Did I do something wrong?”

            “No, I-I’m just, you um,” Hinata stumbled inelegantly fiddling with the chain of his necklace. “Um, the phone vibrating pulled me out of it and I couldn’t get back in.”

            “That’s ok,” Kageyama said kissing him lightly. Hinata kissed him quickly before pushing him up so he could get off the bed. Kageyama watched him walk out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he got off the bed and pulled on clean underwear and his pajama pants ignoring his still somewhat hardness. He picked up his phone as he settled into his side of the bed. 9:12pm. A missed call and text from Oikawa.

**> hey I know this is short notice but tomorrow me a few of the doctors are going out and I was wondering if you and Hinata wanted to come out too? We could hang out at a bar like actual adult friends.**

Kageyama ran his hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure how good of an idea going out with both Hinata and Oikawa would be. Kageyama defiantly didn’t know how to explain his friendship with Oikawa. Any explanation Kageyama could come up with always sounded wrong to him somehow. He decided not to respond at the moment, putting his phone down on the night table next to him.

            “Was it important?” Kageyama looked up at Hinata who was leaning in the doorway, him arms crossed.

            “Um, no not really,” Kageyama said stretching his legs out in front of him. Hinata seemed to anticipate that answer, giving a brief nod. Hinata just walked around the bed and got under the covers on his side of the bed. Kageyama watched him unclasp his necklace and put it on the night table beside him. “Are...are you ok?”

            “I’m fine,” Hinata said not turning to face him. Kageyama couldn’t help but feel like he was just feeding him the same responses he gives Hinata every time he’s not fine.

            “Ok,” Kageyama said meekly. He wanted Hinata to turn around and look at him. He wanted to shake Hinata and make him talk to him in sentences longer than six words. He wanted to reach out to him and tell him that he could feel him pulling away and it scared him so much. But he didn’t. He just watched as Hinata pulled the covers over himself and curled into the fetal position, his back to Kageyama. Kageyama could feel the lapping of guilt in his throat, contaminating all the words he wanted to say.

            So he didn’t say anything. He got out of bed, used the bathroom, brushed his teeth, pulled on a t-shirt and crawled back into bed without so much a word from Hinata. Pulling the covers over himself he turned on his side to face the back of Hinata’s head, willing him to turn around and face him. He couldn’t remember the last time they had slept limbs intertwined. He thought it could be when he started trying not to wake up Hinata, that he had started to push him away. He thought maybe it was not too long ago when he’d hurt Hinata’s feelings and was still fumbling to fix it. He thought maybe it was a very recent occurrence but he was so overwhelmed by it that the absence of physical closeness felt like miles between them. But he didn’t say anything.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god this chapter hurt. but it hurt so good. i love pain and suffering.

* * *

_The dream is the same he’s been having for a while. His mother smiles up at him. Her blue eyes bright and happy, and her skin is glowing with health. He feels younger, and safe. He reaches out and touches her face with his hand. As soon as his hand touches her face it begins to wilt, changing sickly and deathlike. He tries to stop her changing but he can’t do anything. His hand feels bigger, he feels older. The face changes to a younger face. Aiko’s blue eyes stare up at him, and she’s smiling. He tries to hold her but he can’t move. She starts to choke, and she can’t breathe, her skin turning blue and her eyes loosing their light. He goes to scream._

_This is just a dream. This is just a dream. Don’t scream, just wake up. Just wake up._

“Daddy?”

            Kageyama awoke with a start, panting and holding onto his chest. He took quick shallow breaths, blinking himself awake. He could hear the soft breaths of Hinata next to him, still asleep. To his right he could feel something next to him.

            “Aiko?” he said looking to his right trying to adjust his eyes in the darkness.

            “Daddy,” she whispered.

            “Wha-what is it Aiko? Did you have a nightmare?” Kageyama asked sitting up in bed.

            “Can I sleep here?” Aiko asked quietly. Kageyama could see the tiny outline of her in the glow of the streetlight from the window.

            “Yeah of course Belly,” he said moving left to make room for her. She climbed up on top of the bed and instead of getting in the space he made for her, she climbed over him and got in the between him and Hinata. Kageyama moved more right to make room for her. He watched her get under the covers and curl herself toward him. Kageyama scooted back down the bed to lay down with his head on the pillow. “Are you comfortable?” he asked putting his arm around her and pulling her close. He felt her little hands fist themselves into his shirt as he tucked her head against his shoulder.

            “Yes, thank you daddy,” Aiko whispered sleepily. Kageyama smiled softly as he held her tightly against him. It reminded him of when she was really small and would sleep in his bed every night, too scared to sleep in her own room. She hadn’t done that in a while, yet every so often she would wake up in the middle of the night and sleep in his bed. He didn’t mind at all.

            Kageyama wasn’t sure if it was because he had already had a nightmare that night or if it was because he held Aiko the whole night but he was able to sleep through the night without waking up again. His eyes fluttered awake the next morning with a still sleeping Aiko tucked tightly in his grasp. He raised his head slightly and saw the empty space where Hinata slept. Gently removing Aiko’s hand from his shirt he got off the bed with out waking her up. He quietly left the bedroom and walked into the kitchen where Hinata was tapping on his phone, leaning against the counter.

            “Good morning,” Kageyama said quietly walking over to Hinata. He looked up and quickly put his phone down on the counter behind to him.

            “Hey,” Hinata said resting his hands on the counter on either side of him. “I was letting you sleep. But it’s only like 7:30am.”

            “Oh thanks,” Kageyama said placing a small kiss on Hinata’s forehead. He could feel Hinata turn his head slightly away underneath him. Kageyama furrowed his brow quickly before walking over to the hot kettle on the stove.

            “Did Aiko have a nightmare?” Hinata asked picking up his mug from the counter.

            “I don’t know, she just came in during the night asking if she could sleep there,” Kageyama said pouring himself a cup of tea. “I asked her, but she didn’t tell me.” Kageyama looked over just as Hinata made a sarcastic face. “What?”

            “Nothing,” Hinata said taking a sip of his tea.

            “You made a face,” Kageyama asked, annoyed that Hinata was already being hostile first thing in the morning.

            “It’s nothing,” Hinata said taking his mug and phone, and walking out of the kitchen into the living room. Kageyama stood there confused, and turned back to his tea. He sighed, picking up his mug and followed Hinata who was sitting texting on his phone on the couch.

            “Yeah um, so I wanted to ask you something,” Kageyama said trying to push aside the prickling frustration he felt when Hinata ignored him. “Do you want to, uh, go out tonight?”

            “What?” Hinata said looking up at him confused.

            “Um, like you know, out. To a bar,” Kageyama clarified gesturing with his mug. Hinata just stared at him perplexed.

            “Why?” Hinata asked baffled. Kageyama knew he’d never suggested that they should go out somewhere so he could understand Hinata’s confusion.

            “Because my friend told me that him and some of his coworkers were going out and he wanted to know if I- we wanted to go hang out too,” Kageyama said shrugged feeling anxious under Hinata’s unwavering scrutiny. “We don’t have to go. I was just asking.”

            “...We can go,” Hinata said carefully. “What about Aiko? We can’t exactly bring her with us.”

            “Um yeah, I was thinking about that,” Kageyama said rubbing the back of neck. “Do you think Lev could babysit her? I feel like they get along well. And he hasn’t left for college yet.”

            “Yeah I think so,” Hinata said setting his phone aside. “I’ll ask him today, I don’t think he’ll mind.” Kageyama nodded his head, wanting to sit down with Hinata but not sure if Hinata wanted him to. He glanced over at Hinata who was looking ahead sipping his tea. Kageyama followed his impulse and sat down closely next to him on the couch. Out of his periphery he could see Hinata glance at him from the corner of his eye. He set his mug down on the coffee table, reached for the remote and settled back on the couch, stretching his arm around Hinata’s shoulders as he turned on the TV. He felt Hinata tense then release his muscles, relaxing into Kageyama’s side. He rested his head on Kageyama, letting his arm fall comfortably on Kageyama’s thigh.

            “Don’t you have to go into the bakery soon?” Kageyama asked quietly, nuzzling Hinata’s hair with his nose. He felt like he hadn’t been this close to him in a while.

            “Yeah,” Hinata sighed, sinking further into Kageyama’s side. Kageyama felt his fingers draw patterns on his thigh. “But I just want to be here for a few more minutes.” Kageyama’s face flushed happily. He sensed that Hinata was feeling the same distance between them and wanted to close it too; regardless of anger or irritation with the other. Kageyama barely paid attention to the morning talk program they were watching, opting to instead look down and watch Hinata’s face. His eyes traced every line and slope of Hinata’s face, as if he were trying to commit it to memory. Every crinkle around his eye, every upward tilt of his lip, every quirk of his eyebrow, Kageyama took in like it was the most important information he could ever know. He felt his chest constrict with emotion as Hinata shifted closer to Kageyama trying to get more comfortable, his arm falling slightly to wrap around Hinata better. He stared at him and felt his gut twist horribly and his throat burn frighteningly. Kageyama felt like he was holding his breath underwater, but he was nowhere near the surface. But he knew he had to let it out anyway. So he did.

            “I love you.” It came out so quietly that Kageyama couldn’t even hear himself say it. But he knew that Hinata heard him by the way he tensed up in his arms. He wanted to repeat it; now that he’d said it he wanted to repeat it a thousand times. Kageyama wanted to never stop saying it. He wanted to say it everyday until he couldn’t speak.  He never wanted Hinata to think he was unloved by him.

            “Um-” Hinata glanced up at him, eyes wide and skin blanched.

            “You don’t have to say it back,” Kageyama interrupted. “You never have to say it back. You never even have to feel the same way. I just...wanted you to know. That I love you.”

            “Tobio, you-” but Hinata was interrupted again.

            “Daddy, I’m hungry,” Aiko said coming into the living room. Oblivious of the mood between the two men, she climbed up into Hinata’s lap and rested her head against his chest. “Hinata are you going to make us something delicious for breakfast?” she hummed closing her eyes and settling in his lap comfortably. Kageyama watched Hinata gape, his eyes blinking almost comically trying to find the words to respond.

            “No Belly, I’m going to make us something today,” Kageyama said reaching over and brushing her hair side. He extracted himself from beneath Hinata and took his mug into the kitchen. As soon as he walked into the kitchen and was out of sight from Hinata, he let out a sharp shuddering breath. Bracing himself on the counter, he allowed himself to think over what he’d just done.

            _I can’t believe I just blurted that out like that. This wasn’t when I was planning on telling him that! What happened to the big plan? Buy him something nice? Cook him a good dinner? Then after some mind-blowing sex then I tell him? Why couldn’t I wait? And his response, oh god. He was so quiet and...horrified. He looked horrified. What if he never intended for this relationship to evolve that deeply? What if I just scared him away? Didn’t Natsu say that he broke up with his last boyfriend because he felt that it wasn’t that serious? But Kenma’s still in love with him! I’m in love with him. He doesn’t feel as serious as I do and he’s going to break up with me. Why couldn’t I control myself and keep it in? Why did I-_

“Kageyama?” Hinata said softly from behind him. Kageyama took a deep fortifying breath and turned around to face him. Hinata stood in the doorway of the kitchen, looking down at the floor with his hands clenched at his sides.  

            “Yeah?” Kageyama said trying to hide the emotional turmoil that was his insides right now.

            “Do you... I’m...um...” Hinata flustered trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say. Kageyama never felt more on edge. “I’m going to get ready to go. When do you want me back by so we can go tonight?”

            “O-oh um, wh-whenever you come back is fine,” Kageyama stammered. He tried not to appear as heartbroken as he felt. He knew that he told Hinata that he didn’t have to say it back, that he never had to say it back, and it he did mean it. But there was a part of him that wished that Hinata would have agreed wholeheartedly and said it back.  “I’ll be here,” he said with a small smile. Hinata just nodded and walked out of the room. Kageyama turned back around, bracing himself on the counter once more, fighting the burning tears that threatened to spill down his face.

            _I don’t deserve him. I’m broken parts, and he doesn’t want me._


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys know it's only going to get more painful from here right? and even though i've vowed to not deny or confirm your theories but some of your guys are sooooooo right about what you think is going to happen. i'm just not going to tell you which of you are haha
> 
> honestly i love kageyama, i don't mean to hurt him this much... ( i do though i love angst)

* * *

           The wait for Hinata to come back was horrible. It worst he had felt since Aiko’s accident. Kageyama felt so awful all day that he was extra productive just to get his mind off the morning. By late afternoon, Kageyama had done all the laundry that needed to be done. Cleaned every room of the apartment. Gone out and purchased more school clothes for Aiko and prepared dinner for Aiko to eat. By the time Hinata came back home he was practically vibrating with anxiety.

            “Hinata! You’re back!” Aiko giggled happily as she ran over to the front door when Hinata walked in. “Daddy took me out and bought nice clothes for school, can I show them to you?”

            “Yeah of course Muffin,” Hinata said as he pulled off his shoes. He looked up from where he was standing to Kageyama who was in the living room putting away Aiko’s art supplies.

            “I’m going to go get my clothes,” Aiko said cheerfully as she ran toward her room. Kageyama just watched Hinata with apprehension.

            “Hey,” Kageyama chanced, his voice throaty and scratchy from nerves.

            “Hey,” Hinata said, giving him a half smile. Kageyama could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He knew that he was going to have to control himself if he planned to spend any more time around Hinata. “I told Lev to come over around 7. Is that ok?”

            “Um yeah,” Kageyama said nodding his head. He felt painfully awkward but he didn’t know how to fix himself.

            “Hinata look at all my clothes,” Aiko rushed in carrying a canvas tote bag that was almost as big as she was. She plopped it down on the couch, waving Hinata over to look at her clothes. “Look I got these red pants, and I’m going to wear them with that blue striped shirt. And this pink skirt, and a yellow dress, and two pairs of jeans. Two black pants, this gray sweater and an orange shirt that looks like your hair,” she added giggling. He smiled down at her, ruffling her hair.

            “You’re going to be the most well dressed kindergartener in school,” Hinata said smiling at her.

            “I know!” Aiko beamed up at him. “I’m going wear this red dress on the first day of school.” She pulled out a red velvet dress with capped sleeves and a light floral pattern. “Mommy bought this for me in London.”

             “You’re going to look beautiful,” Hinata said pushing her bangs aside. “As usual.” Kageyama watched as they folded the clothes back up again and Aiko carried the bag out back to her room. “How many clothes does a four year old need?”

            “You’d be surprised,” Kageyama said knowingly as he continued to put away Aiko’s art things. “That little girl goes through pants like napkins. Treats them like napkins sometimes too.” He looked behind him to smile at Hinata but saw that Hinata was sitting on the couch, staring at his folded hands in his lap.

            “Kageyama about earlier-”

            “Hinata it’s fine, seriously you don’t have to say anything,” Kageyama said trying to play it off like he didn’t care. “I was just... making a statement. Not every statement needs a response.”

            “Hold on, I just want to-” Hinata began again, trying to find his footing.

            “Seriously, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Kageyama dismissed feeling a burning in his throat. “I should have known how you’d react. I made you uncomfortable and I’m sorry, but let’s just forget it ok?”

            “I just-” Hinata muttered.

            “Look, I don’t want to talk about it,” Kageyama sighed. “Let’s just go out tonight, have a good time, and forget it ever happened ok?” he said, feeling like he was trying to be convincing enough to convince himself too. Hinata looked like he was going to protest but decided not too. He nodded weakly and looked at Kageyama with large emotion filled eyes.

            “Hinata!” Aiko called out to him as she came skipping back into the living room. Hinata tore his gaze from Kageyama and smiled half-heartedly down as Aiko who was climbing up into his lap.

            “Yeah, what is it Muffin?” he asked, holding her on his lap.

            “Um... so the first day of school is Monday,” Aiko said getting suddenly nervous. Kageyama glanced over at her and saw her fiddling with the hem of the tiny bakery employee t-shirt Hinata had made especially for her. “I um... Hinata, I wanted to know...um... mommy and daddy are coming with me...but maybe...could you come...too?” She glanced up at him through her bangs. Kageyama paused what he was doing to watch them. Hinata looked down at a very nervous Aiko with a mixture of overwhelming delight and anxious hesitation.

            “You... you want me to come with you on the first day of school?” Hinata asked softly taking her tiny hand in his. Aiko looked up at him and nodded. “Aiko I would be honored to go with you for the first day of school.” Aiko let out a squeal of happiness and threw her arms around Hinata’s neck, hugging him tightly. He squeezed her back, clutching her small frame in his hands.

            “I’m so glad you’re coming,” Aiko said pulling back and jumping down onto the floor. “I can’t wait for Emi to see that I have two daddies and a mommy coming with me. She’s going to be so jealous,” Aiko squealed as she ran off into her room. Kageyama just stared petrified at Hinata, who was looking blankly into space facing in front of him. Kageyama wanted to break the silence between them but he didn’t know what to say. Hinata broke the silence first.

            “Um, I’m going to go take a shower. Lev should be here soon,” Hinata said standing up and walking towards the bathroom without looking at Kageyama.

            “Ok,” Kageyama said weakly as Hinata walked out of the room. He finished putting away Aiko’s things and cleaned up whatever mess she made in the living room. Checking the time he saw that he had a few minutes before Lev got there, just enough time to get dressed. He made his way into their bedroom, hearing the sounds of the shower running as he past the bathroom. Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the dresser and went searching for his pants when several sharp vibrating buzzes caught his attention.

             Sitting on top of the dresser was Hinata’s phone, illuminated by the incoming texts he just received. Kageyama glanced up at them out of reflex, not intentionally trying to read his texts. He saw the three texts Hinata just received all displayed clearly on the lock screen. All from Kenma.

**> we really should talk about this**

**> please tell me you finally told him**

**> I’m going to be around there again tomorrow so let’s meet up at that same place we went to last time**

Kageyama felt like he was underwater. Like the world around him suddenly just became harder to move around in and he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but it didn’t feel like jumping to conclusions. It felt like he just learned a fact. A fact he never wanted to learn.

            Feeling exposed and pathetic, Kageyama looked away from Hinata’s phone. He went back to his drawers and pulled out his skinny jeans and the forest green knit sweater that Hinata liked. He wasn’t sure why he wanted Hinata to like the way he looked suddenly, but it felt like retaliation. He walked away from the dresser to get dressed, trying to put as much distance between him and the information as he could. Maybe he felt like this made him look less guilty for reading Hinata’s texts; he wasn’t sure. He was applying his deodorant when Hinata walked into the bedroom, still wet and steaming from his shower.

            “Have you seen my gray briefs?” he asked inconsequentially, like Kageyama’s world wasn’t falling apart inside him.

            “Um yeah, I just washed them. I put it in your side of the drawer,” Kageyama said not looking up at Hinata but gesturing with the capped deodorant toward the dresser.

            “Oh thanks,” Hinata said holding the towel that was wrapped around his waist. Kageyama felt like screaming. He felt like crying. He felt like doing nothing. “Is...is that Lev knocking?” Hinata asked turning his ear toward the door. Kageyama walked out of the bedroom, and went to the front door where he heard a knocking on the door.

            “Hey Kageyama!” Lev said cheerfully, giving him a small wave.

            “Hi Lev,” Kageyama said, taking a step to the side. “Come in, I’ll get Aiko.”

            “Ok,” Lev said happily walking into the apartment. He dropped his bag on the floor and toed off his shoes, placing them against the wall. Kageyama gave him a half-hearted smile as he walked toward Aiko’s bedroom.

            “Hey Belly,” Kageyama said surprised at how normal he sounded, “Lev is here.” Aiko jumped up off her bed and ran past her dad and into the living room. He followed her hearing her squeak with excitement.

            “Lev! I can’t believe you’re here!” Aiko said jumping up and down in front of him. “You’re here! In my home!”

            “I’m here! In you’re home!” Lev said excitedly taking Aiko’s hands and jumping up and down with her. If Kageyama weren’t in emotional turmoil, he would have found the entire scene comical.

            “Wait right here Lev, I’m going to go get my Legos so we can build,” Aiko said clapping as she ran off towards her room.

            “Um, Lev,” Kageyama said getting Lev’s attention. “So um, Aiko’s eaten dinner already so you don’t have to worry about that. She’ll probably get hungry at some point though so there’s plenty of snacks for her to eat, you can also help yourself of course. She’s already been bathed so around 9-9:30 she needs to be in bed,” Kageyama explained rubbing the back of his neck. “Usually I read her a story before she goes to bed so you could do that too, let her pick something out from the bookcase in her room. There’s plenty of food for when you get hungry. Feel free to watch TV once she goes to bed. Both my and Hinata’s numbers are written down on a piece of paper on the table, although I’m sure you have Hinata’s number,” Lev nodded, “the first aid kit is under the sink incase anything happens. And there are no mushrooms in the apartment, for obvious reasons- just in case you order pizza or something, don’t get mushrooms please.”

            “Oh no I wouldn’t,” Lev said shaking his head. “Don’t worry, I got this. I actually babysat one of my professor’s kids during the year. And I love Aiko.”

            “I...trust you actually,” Kageyama said carefully. Lev’s eyebrows shot up surprised. “I’m actually the one who suggested you watch Aiko. I thought she might want you to watch her more than anyone else.”

            “Oh wow, thank you,” Lev said genuinely touched. Kageyama smiled at him. “I promise to take really good care of her.”

            “Hey Lev,” Hinata said walking into the living room. Kageyama turned and watched him walk in and felt his heart drop into his stomach. Hinata looked amazing. Kageyama always thought that Hinata was beautiful, but somehow he looked extra amazing today. He wore very dark black skinny jeans, the ones that Kageyama knew he often complained were too tight and uncomfortable but looked amazing, with a washed-out light denim button up that was tucked into his belted pants. The shirt was almost buttoned up all the way, but was opened up just at the top to see just a glint of the golden chain underneath. Kageyama knew that Hinata had put some hair product in his hair because it was parted to the side, with carefree precision, giving him a cool unaffected look but was obviously quite worked. Kageyama hated how easily he forgot for a moment his hurt when he saw Hinata walk out.

            “Damn boss,” Lev said when Hinata walked out. “I never see you in anything other than a t-shirt, and now I’m wondering why.”

            “Because I want to make sure people come in for my breads not my looks,” Hinata smiled coming to stand next to Kageyama who was still staring at him.

            “Well he did both,” Lev joked pointing his thumb at Kageyama. Hinata gave him a small smirk before turning to look at Kageyama, who tried not to frown.

            “Are you ready to go?” Hinata asked normally. Kageyama wasn’t sure if he could answer him.

            “Um, yeah. Hold on,” Kageyama said tightly, walking away toward the bathroom. Aiko ran past him carrying a giant box of Legos shouting for Lev. Kageyama went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, taking deep breaths. How was he going to get through the night? He wished he never suggested going out. He wished he never agreed to hang with Oikawa. He wished he never had found out. If only had gotten into the bedroom 5 minutes later he would have never seen those texts. He felt horrible.

            Splashing some water on his face, Kageyama dried himself off with and hand towel. He checked himself in the mirror to make sure he looked ok. A bit red around the eyes, but it was dark and no one might notice. He opened the door and walked back into the living room as Hinata was saying goodbye to Aiko.

            “...and if anything happens we’re just a phone call away. But Lev is going to take very good care of you,” Hinata said kneeling in front of Aiko, brushing her hair aside. “We’ll see you in the morning ok?” Aiko nodded and Hinata gave her a kiss on the forehead before standing up and walking over to the door to pull on his shoes.

            “Yeah Belly, we’ll see you in the morning,” Kageyama said walking over to her. He picked her up and hugged her, kissing her cheek. “Remember to listen to Lev ok?”

            “Ok daddy,” Aiko said like he was embarrassing her. He gave her one last kiss on her forehead and put her down.

            “We’ll be back late probably. But we’ll call first,” Kageyama said to Lev as he pulled on his boots.

            “Got it,” Lev nodded. Kageyama reached over to the coat rack and grabbed his leather jacket and pulled it on.

            “Seriously, don’t hesitate to call if anything ok?” Kageyama said adjusting his jacket.

            “Oh my god, I’ve got it. Go have a good time, damn,” Lev said pushing Kageyama toward the door.

            “Come on,” Hinata said tugging Kageyama’s sleeve. He stole one last glance at Aiko gleefully set out her Legos on the floor before Hinata pulled the door closed behind him. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry it took me so long to update. i just could not get to my computer this entire weekend. but here is a relatively long chapter to make up for it!!! 
> 
> also i know i haven't answered any of your recent comments yet (i have like 20 in my inbox waiting for me) but i'm going to do that like right now. don't worry i'm not ignoring you guys!!
> 
> *warning* descriptions of sexual situations

* * *

            “So this friend that you’ve only ever mentioned today,” Hinata said in the car as they drove to the address of the bar Oikawa texted Kageyama. “Do I get a name or...?”

            “Um, yeah his name is Oikawa,” Kageyama shifted awkwardly. He still hadn’t been able to really look at Hinata. They managed to sit through an entire dinner together pretending like nothing between them was different, that nothing had changed dramatically. Kageyama had brought him back to his favorite burger place, trying to maybe relive some of their early happy memories, but he found he spent the entire time trying not to brood. There would be moments where he almost forgot. He’d catch a glimpse of the gold in under Hinata’s collar and smile softly to himself, or Hinata would make some stupid inappropriate joke and they’d fall into childish giggles, or Kageyama would feel Hinata’s foot brush against his underneath the table. And he would be really happy for just a moment; really in love. But then Hinata would check his phone or get a text and then everything would come crashing down around Kageyama again.

            “Oikawa?” Hinata said like he was tasting the name in his mouth. “Wasn’t that the name of the doctor who did your stitches at the hospital?”

            “Um, yeah,” Kageyama said shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “That’s cause it’s the same person.”

            “Oh,” Hinata said still confused. “You never mentioned that you guys were friends... or even knew each other.” Hinata started ahead at the road but Kageyama chanced a glance at Hinata’s profile. His brow was furrowed but his face didn’t display any specific emotion.

            “That’s cause we weren’t really friends yet,” Kageyama said trying for nonchalance. “We really only became friends after.”

            “Oh, um ok,” Hinata said. He made an incredulous face and shrugged his shoulders, tightening his grip on the wheel. Kageyama just looked away, rolling his eyes, not in the mood to deal with Hinata’s attitude. They sat for the rest of the car ride in silence. When they pulled up at the bar, Kageyama got out before Hinata could even shut off the car. Closing the door behind him with a satisfying slam, Kageyama took a deep breath rubbing the palms of his hands into his eyes. “Are we going or what?”

            “Yeah, we’re going,” Kageyama said stuffing his hands into his pockets and walking for the door not even waiting for Hinata. The bar was located in the basement of a restaurant on a main street near the hospital, which was obvious by all the people in scrubs trying to eat quickly. The smell of beer and chips and something bittersweet Kageyama couldn’t place his finger on entered his nose as they descended down the steps into the bar. As he walked through the tightly packed bar, he instinctively stuck out his hand behind him to hold Hinata’s hand as to not lose him; something that he wished he hadn’t. The feeling of Hinata’s smaller, warmer hand in his was something he didn’t want to feel when he was so hurt. But it was too late to let go as he navigated his way around looking for Oikawa.

            “Hey Tobio! There you are!” Oikawa called out to him waving his hand around, motioning for them to join him at the booth he was sitting in. “Hey I’m glad you could make it.”

            “Thanks for inviting me,” Kageyama said standing in front of the booth. He felt Hinata’s hand tighten slightly in his, but he ignored it.

            “Oh it’s no problem, plus it’s nice to get to hang out with you in a real place like an adult,” Oikawa said stepping out of the booth. “Hello, Hinata,” he said sticking out his hand to shake Hinata’s. “We’ve met once before, I’m-”

            “You were the ER doctor, yes I remember,” Hinata said sticking out his free hand to shake Oikawa’s. Kageyama knew Hinata well enough to know that he was using his un-amused but non-hostile voice. “It’s nice to meet you again, under better circumstances.”

            “Yes of course,” Oikawa smiled. “No one got hurt this time to bring us back together.” Hinata gave a half smile and a brief nod of his head before looking down. Kageyama heard a cough from the other people at the table. “Oh sorry, Tobio, Hinata, these are two of my doctor friends who also work at the hospital with me. That big serious one in the corner,” he pointed to a tall and broad brunette who was watching them with a stoic face, “that’s Ushijima, he’s a neurosurgeon. And this tiny one,” Oikawa received a kick from under the table from a short man with light brown hair, “ow, that’s Yaku. He’s a GP.”

            “It’s nice to meet you,” Kageyama said to them trying to give them a friendly smile.

            “This is my friend Kageyama I was telling you guys about. And this is his boyfriend Hinata,” Oikawa said gesturing to the two of them.

            “It’s finally nice to meet you, Kageyama,” Yaku said smiling at him. “Oikawa talks about you all the time.” Kageyama saw Oikawa give him an annoyed glare. Kageyama blushed slightly at the mention of being talked about. He glanced at Hinata who was staring fixedly at an oblivious Oikawa.

            “Sit, sit,” Oikawa said motioning for Hinata and Kageyama to get into the booth. Kageyama let Hinata slide in first and then sat in next to him, sandwiched by Oikawa. “I think I see the waitress, do you guys want a beer?”

            “Um, yeah. A beer would be nice,” Kageyama said. Hinata just nodded.

            “Excuse me miss?” Oikawa said calling the young waitress over. “Can I get two more beers and another rum and coke?” she nodded and walked away. Oikawa sat back in his seat, lounging with his arm along the back of the booth.

            “Oikawa was the one who performed your sutures?” Ushijima said looking at Kageyama. “May I see where?”

            “Uh, yeah,” Kageyama said turning over his left arm to show his forearm to him. “It was a gash right here,” he said pointing to the very faint scar on his arm that was barely noticeable amongst the litany of tattoo lines.

            “Very clean work,” Ushijima said. “As usual, of course. You should have been a neurosurgeon.”

            “And work under you? Not a chance,” Oikawa said smirking. “No I like ER. It’s fun, you never know what’s going to bust in through the doors. A gunshot victim? A stab wound?-”

            “A guy with a vibrator stuck in his ass?” Yaku interrupted grinning.

            “That happened once and it made for a very interesting night,” Oikawa said agreeing. He must have seen Kageyama’s surprised face, because he further explained. “During my first week there, this guy comes in all shaky and sweaty saying he’s got a problem _down there._ So I tell him to strip so I could get a look at his penis and he tells me that’s not the down there he was talking about. Turns out this guy had been masturbating with a vibrator and he lodged it so far his ass it got stuck.”

            “How’d you remove it?” Kageyama asked wincing.

            “We eventually had to sedate him and go in and remove it,” Oikawa shrugged like it was normal. “He was in the ER for like 4 hours. He came like 8 times though.”

            “That’s still so gross no matter how many times I hear it,” Yaku said shaking his head. “The you having to go in and surgically remove the dildo from his ass. Not the actual dildo in the ass part,” he clarified.

            “The dildo in the ass never bothered me,” Oikawa said thoughtfully. “It was the fact that the guy waited 3 hours before coming into the hospital. He was just at home with that shit vibrating in his rectum for 3 hours before he thought ‘ok this might be too much’ and decided to come in.”

            “Maybe his original plan was to use the vibrator in that manner for 3 hours,” Ushijima suggested. Oikawa made a dubious face at him.

            “No one decides to use a vibrator in their ass for 3 hours,” Oikawa said seriously, shaking his head at Ushijima. “Not all 3 hours at once at least.”

            “Do doctors really talk about their patients like this?” Hinata said cutting in looking between them. The doctors exchanged shrugs.

            “Only when they do something as memorable as lodging a vibrator up their asshole- ah thank you,” Oikawa said as the waitress put their drinks on the table. “Sorry about that. Is that the weirdest thing you’ve ever overheard here?” he asked the waitress.

            “Not even a little bit,” she said shaking her head and walking away.

            “What about you Ushijima?” Oikawa said turning toward his silent friend. He slid the beers over to Hinata and Kageyama, who took his and gulped half of it down in one go.

            “No, I’ve never had to deal with a vibrator stuck in someone’s rectum,” he said seriously.

            “That’s...not what I meant,” Oikawa said laughing, the rest of the table giggling at his earnestness. “Although that does give an intimate picture of your sex life. The verdict seems dull.” Hinata laughed into his glass, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

            “You don’t know,” Yaku said smirking, “He said someone’s rectum. Could have been stuck somewhere else.”

            “Very true,” Oikawa said laughing. Somehow that had broken the tension a bit between Kageyama and Hinata. Kageyama turned his head a bit and saw Hinata smiling and laughing at the doctor’s conversation. The doctors talked and joked and laughed with the both of them and Hinata and Oikawa seemed to get along fine enough- though Hinata was still not his usual jovial self. Their orders of beers soon turned to sodas and fries as they attempted to soak up the alcohol in their system.

            “So then I’m back the next day at the clinic,” Yaku says to them in the midst of his story. “And I’m trying to find my stethoscope, right? Like literally just the thing I have to have with me all the time, no big deal. And I walk into the back storage closet, and there is this weird... I don’t know display I guess? With like thirty sanitary napkins stuck onto the floor, like a dozen test tubes arranged in a circle and my stethoscope neatly placed in the middle.”

            “What the fuck?” Kageyama said wrinkling his nose.

            “What the fuck is right,” Yaku said picking up a fry. “I still say it was some ritualistic cult thing, but some people,” he pointed covertly to Ushijima with his fry, “say it was one of the patients from the psychiatry unit.”

            “I think it was one of the patients from the psychiatry unit,” Ushijima said earnestly. Yaku rolled his eyes and sighed, while Oikawa just laughed.

            “Really? We had no idea,” Oikawa said sarcastically. “Honestly that wasn’t as weird as the naked parade from when I was an intern.”

            “The naked parade?” Hinata repeated chewing on a fry. “What’s that?”

            “Glad you asked,” Oikawa said settling himself in to tell his story. “So when I was an intern in the last hospital I worked at, there was this case of crabs that broke out in the local high school. It was apparently so bad that the over the counter lice-ridding methods weren’t strong enough and these high schoolers were in need of prescription strength lice killer.” Each of the other members of the table made a horrified face. “I know, but anyway so this group of high schoolers come into the hospital right? And they all have crabs, and I mean honestly, there had to have been about 30 or 40 teens there, truly horrifying. So they’re all getting dragged in by their mortified and furious parents, and have to be stripped and cleaned of all lice. But what I notice that’s weird is that it’s only girls?”

            “Why is that weird?” Kageyama asked somewhat engrossed in the story.

            “Well cause crabs is generally a sexually transmitted thing,” Oikawa explained. “So in most cases, if there is an out break at a school, both guys and girls have reported cases of crabs.”

            “But it was only like 40 girls?” Yaku asked. “Did the school have just a really high percentage of lesbian students?”

            “No, so here’s the best part,” Oikawa said leaning forward. “It turns out that this one girl, who was the like “hot senior girl who all the guys wanted to be with”, had this bra and panty set that she claimed was her “magic” get-any-guy-to-sleep-with-her lingerie.” The others all made a skeptical face. “I know, but anyway so she claimed this lingerie set could get any girl laid.”

            “Oh no,” Kageyama winced anticipating the ending.

            “Oh yes,” Oikawa smirked maliciously. “That lingerie got passed around to every fucking girl in that senior class. Crabs and all.”

            “Oh my god that’s so gross,” Yaku shivered. “And apparently defective since no guys got crabs either.”

            “It was disgusting,” Oikawa agreed sitting back in his seat. “Well so once me and the other interns figured that out, it was just a matter of time before the girls found the origin of the crabs. They all went to her room and yelled at her. And they were all basically naked. Hence the naked parade.”

            “The naked parade,” Yaku repeated shaking his head.

            “Why not call it ‘the lingerie melee’ instead?” Kageyama said quizzically.

            “Damn it, that rhymes,” Oikawa said putting his fist down on the table. “That’s so much better.” He shook he head looking at Kageyama. “See you and lingerie...”

            “Oh my god, all I did was rhyme something,” Kageyama said rolling his eyes his cheeks blushing. “It has nothing to do with actual lingerie.”

            “Ok yeah, but all I’m saying, now that we’re talking so much a bout lingerie is that you should really, you know...” Oikawa smirked knowingly wiggling his eyebrows at kageyama.

            “Why are you so hung up on me wearing lingerie?” Kageyama said embarrassed.

            “Because!” Oikawa smirked. “Come on, right? Yaku, lingerie right?”

            “Don’t involve me man,” Yaku said putting his hands up.

            “Fine, Hinata. Lingerie right?” Oikawa said leaning forward to look at Hinata. Kageyama turned his head to look at him. Hinata sat, blanched and silent, looking down at his hands that were resting on the table. “Right Hinata?”

            “Hinata?” Kageyama asked quietly, concerned that his boyfriend looked sick. “Are you alright?”

            “Huh? What? Yeah, I’m,” Hinata said looking up at Kageyama and then quickly looking away. “I just um, I-I need to um, go to the bathroom. Yeah, I just...need the bathroom.” Oikawa and Kageyama slid out of the booth so Hinata could get out.

            “Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to come with you?” Kageyama said putting his hand on Hinata’s shoulder.

            “No I- I’m just,” Hinata said looking away. “I’m just going to be right back.” he walked off towards the bathrooms, quickly swallowed up by the crowd of people still in the bar.

            “Is he alright?” Oikawa said to Kageyama as he watched Hinata walk away.

            “I... I don’t know,” Kageyama said turning back to Oikawa. He slid back into the booth in a daze.

            “He seemed to turn pale all of a sudden,” Yaku said. “Maybe it’s food poisoning.”

            “He ate all the same things we did and we’re fine,” Ushijima said seriously.

            “Yeah I don’t know,” Kageyama said shaking his head. He pulled out his phone and set it on the table in front of him. “If he’s there for awhile I’ll go check on him.” They all seemed satisfied with that and went back to talking. But Kageyama couldn’t really focus on the conversation for long. He kept checking his phone, looking at the time waiting for Hinata to return. Three minutes became ten, which became fifteen at which Kageyama was beyond impatient and worried. “Yeah guys I’ll right back, I’m just going to go check on him.” Oikawa slid out of the booth and Kageyama hopped out, walking in the direction of the bathrooms. When he reached the men’s room, he slowly opened the door calling out Hinata’s name.

            “Yeah,” Hinata said from the sinks. Kageyama walked over to him, watching him stuff his phone back into his back pocket.

            “Hey are you alright?” Kageyama said placing his hand on the small of his back.

            “Um, yeah. I’m fine,” Hinata said looking up giving him a quick smile. Hinata’s eyes were red and his face was flushed, like he’d been crying.

            “Oh ok, I was worried,” Kageyama said leaning against the sink.

            “I’m fine,” Hinata said taking a deep breath.

            “Ok,” Kageyama said rubbing his back. “Do you want to go or?” Hinata looked up at him searchingly. “I mean we can stay if want. I know you said you’re fine, I just thought... you’d want to leave.”

            “Um, sure- yeah can we?” Hinata said softly. Kageyama nodded rubbing Hinata’s back with his hand.

            “Come on lets go,” Kageyama said taking Hinata’s hand and turning to leave. He felt Hinata not moving and Kageyama turned back to look at him. Hinata looked up at him like he was trying to form the words he wanted to say. “Wha-what is it?” Kageyama asked looking at him. Hinata pulled his hand out of Kageyama’s grasp and then threw is arms around Kageyama’s neck, crashing his lips against Kageyama. Thrown off guard for a second Kageyama stumbled back, his back crashing into the wall. Hinata violently kissed him, pushing against him with his whole body, grinding and rubbing Kageyama through his pants. “Hin-Hinata,” Kageyama panted, as Hinata mouthed at his neck. Hinata brought his hand down to palm at Kageyama’s groin through his pants. “Some-someone’s going to walk in on us,” Kageyama gasped as Hinata bit his neck. Hinata growled into his skin as he moved his hand and fisted them his Kageyama’s jacket. With a forceful tug, Hinata walked them backward into the handicapped stall. Slamming Kageyama into the wall, Hinata locked the stall behind him.

            “What’s-” Kageyama started but was cut off by Hinata’s lips on his. He tried to find himself in the kiss, but Hinata was exerting do much dominance that Kageyama just stood there and took it. “Why are you, all of a sudden-” Kageyama tried to say as Hinata pushed his jacket off. “Hinata just hold on-”

            “Do you love me?” Hinata said hovering his mouth off Kageyama’s lips. Kageyama was slightly taken aback by Hinata sudden question.

            “Y-yes, yes of course,” Kageyama said with out question. “I love you.”

            “Then stop talking,” Hinata said putting his hands on Kageyama’s shoulders and pushing down. Kageyama fell to his knees understanding what Hinata wanted. He quickly unbuckled Hinata’s pants and pulled the tight jeans down just low enough for him to work down Hinata’s boxers and pull out his dick. Working Hinata’s hard cock in his hand, he put it in his mouth, tonguing the shaft rubbing his piercing on the skin. With a muffled gasp from Hinata, Kageyama worked him in and out of his mouth, working the part his couldn’t reach with his hand. Shifting on his knees, Kageyama quickened up his pace, hallowing out his cheeks and sucking hard on Hinata’s cock. Rubbing the head with the flat of his tongue, Kageyama felt Hinata tug on his hair.

            “I’m coming,” Hinata gasped gripping Kageyama’s hair and tangling it through his fingers. Kageyama fit his mouth around the tip as Hinata came with a shuttering breath. Once Hinata stopped pulsing, Kageyama leaned over to the toilet and spit out the come, flushing it away.

            “Better now?” Kageyama said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he bent down to pick up his jacket.

            “Yeah,” Hinata sighed, tucking himself back into his pants and rearranging his shirt. Kageyama watched him tuck his shirt back in his pants. He turned and unlocked the stall door and walked over to the sink and rinsed his mouth. Taking a paper towel, Kageyama wiped his mouth, throwing the paper away in the garbage. Kageyama looked over at Hinata who was standing next to him, looking down at the ground with his hand on his hips.

            “Hey,” Kageyama said putting his hand on Hinata’s cheek. “I love you.” He smiled softly at Hinata who looked up at him oddly. Hinata gave him a watery smile and nodded briefly, looking back down at the floor. Kageyama had a weird twisting in his gut, a sudden anger that he was consoling Hinata for some unknown reason while he felt like he was in turmoil. But he mostly just felt concerned for him, and he wanted to do nothing more than make him as happy as possible. “Let’s go tell them we’re leaving.” Kageyama gently took Hinata’s hand in his, threading their fingers together.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first things first, a monumental shout out to chambe5r_the_5_is_silent for editing this chapter (and most probably most future chapters) so this chapter should have a startling absence of typos from yours truly. Thank you so much!!!
> 
> second, i LOVE that you guys all caught the "you should have become a neurosurgeon" honestly i was laughing so hard when i put that in there because i needed some humor from all that angst. 
> 
> lastly, i know i haven't replied to all of your comments and messages yet but i promise i will, and i'm going to replay to as many as i can. thank you all for commenting so much, it makes my day everytime i see a new comment. Thanks!!!

* * *

            “Hinata can you do my hair?” Aiko called from her bedroom that Monday morning. Hinata and Kageyama sat drinking their morning tea at the table listening to Aiko run around, frantically getting ready for her first day of school.

            “Is it going to be like this every morning?” Hinata asked taking one final sip of his tea as he got up from the table. Aiko ran into the kitchen with hair ties and a hairbrush, trying to hurry Hinata into the bathroom.

            “God I hope not,” Kageyama said watching Aiko run into the bathroom. Hinata sighed as he followed her. Kageyama looked down at his mug, watching himself stir the liquid with the string on the teabag. He didn’t want to tell Hinata how tired he really was. He knew he was always tired, but he had not slept for even one minute during the night. When they got home from the bar on Saturday, Kageyama thanked Lev for watching Aiko, paid him, and almost immediately went to bed. That night Hinata had clung to him like he often used to, resting his head on Kageyama’s chest, intertwining their limbs as they slept. But when he awoke late in the morning, he woke up to Hinata getting dressed to leave and almost had a panic attack.

            “Where-where are you going?” Kageyama asked sitting up in bed watching Hinata zip up his pants. Hinata looked over at him as he pulled on a pullover over his head.

            “Errands for the bakery,” Hinata said nonchalantly. Kageyama felt is whole chest tightening at the lie.

_He’s lying to me. So easily. If I didn’t know he was lying, I would never have even guessed at all, he looks the same._

            “Oh ok,” Kageyama said trying to keep his voice sounding normal. He crossed his legs under the covers and sat up leaning his elbows on his knees as he watched Hinata finish getting ready to leave. Just as Hinata went to reach for the bedroom door he called out to him.

            “Yeah?” Hinata said looking over at him. Kageyama thought he looked tired, or maybe just sad. Hinata walked over to Kageyama, standing next to the bed. Kageyama took his hand in his and pulled him down, connecting their lips for a sweet kiss. Kageyama tried to pour everything he felt for Hinata into the brief kiss, trying for both intensity and sincerity. 

            “I love you,” Kageyama whispered against Hinata’s lips when he had pulled away slightly. His eyes swept across Hinata’s face looking for any sign of either love or guilt. He found none.

            “I’ll be back late,” Hinata said standing up. He removed his hand from Kageyama’s and swiftly walked out of the bedroom. It was only a few moments later when Kageyama heard the front door close. He spent the whole day in a sort of limbo; stuck between wanting to cry and confront Hinata about the lying and about Kenma, and wanting to forget everything and give Hinata the unconditional love he was dying to give him.

            It was much later that night when Hinata finally did return; smelling faintly of beer and sweat. Kageyama had already put Aiko to bed, early so she would be fully rested for her first day of school, when Hinata had walked in through the front door. Kageyama had been sitting on the couch; idly looking for something to watch when he heard the front door unlocking.

            “Oh, you’re still up,” Hinata said looking over at Kageyama as he pulled off his boots. “I would have thought you’d gone to bed. I should have texted you that I’d be coming back late.”

            “It’s ok,” Kageyama said feeling that twisting in his chest. “I don’t mind waiting up for you. I wasn’t tired.”

            “Do you want to go to bed now or?” Hinata asked peeling off his jacket. “If you’re not tired we could watch a movie or whatever.”

            “Um, yeah sure,” Kageyama said, making room for him on the couch. Hinata walked over and sat next to him, leaning into his side while Kageyama’s arm automatically went around his shoulders. One inhale and Kageyama could smell whatever bar Hinata was just in all over him. He felt like crying. But he didn’t. They watched a movie and by the end of it, Hinata was falling asleep on Kageyama’s side. Kageyama turned off the TV, and carried Hinata to their bed, laying him down on his side of the mattress. Kageyama crawled into bed with him, only to find that sleep eluded him. No matter much he tried to rid his mind of where Hinata had gone to or what he had done, he couldn’t. He only laid in bed, watching the headlights of cars dance across the ceiling as they passed by. It wasn’t until his alarm went off at 6:30am did he even realize that he’d stay up the entire night. Hinata had rolled over, draping his arms over Kageyama’s chest asking him to hit the snooze button, so he could have just a few more minutes. Hitting the snooze and getting out of bed, Kageyama walked into Aiko’s bedroom to wake her for her first day.

            Eventually he found himself, sitting at the table, drinking tea while Hinata went into the bathroom to do Aiko’s hair. Running on zero sleep and green tea.

            “Daddy, where’s that new hair clip you bought me?” Aiko asked from the bathroom.

            “It’s on your dresser,” Kageyama called out, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. He watched her run out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

            “I found it,” she said, and then he watched her run back into the bathroom. “I’m almost done daddy!” He could hear her squeak in pain, as Hinata must have pulled her hair. “I’m coming out in one second daddy!” he patiently waited, listening to the shuffling in the bathroom right before the door opened and Aiko walked proudly out. “What do you think daddy?” She wore the red velvet dress with a light floral pattern that Yachi had bought for her in London, along with a white cardigan and a black and white bow clip in her hair that held her bangs back.

            “Oh Belly you look amazing,” he smiled. She giggled happily running over to him and jumped into his lap. “Honestly Aiko, you look so beautiful.”

            “Thank you daddy,” she said giving him a quick, but tight hug. She jumped off his lap and ran over to her bedroom.

            “She really does look so cute,” Hinata said walking into the kitchen.

            “I know,” Kageyama smiled softly. “And she’s so excited.”

            “I can’t believe she asked me to come with her,” Hinata said sitting at the table across from Kageyama. “Two daddies,” he scoffed. Kageyama could feel his heart in his throat.

            “Yeah, you and me,” Kageyama said giving Hinata his warmest smile. Hinata just gave him a half-hearted smile in return. “Hin-Shou,” he said trying to figure out how he was going to approach what he wanted to say. “Shouyou, I know that... I’m not the best with...words, but I meant what I said when I said that Aiko is the way that I show that I trust you. And...” Kageyama glanced away feeling too vulnerable to make  eye contact with Hinata while he talked. “I should have told you yes. I want you to be a dad to Aiko, more than anything. I know that I’m late telling you this, but it’s the truth. I- I love you, and I want you to be with Aiko and me for a long time... I trust you.” Hinata just stared at him, tears brimming in his eyes. “And you never have to tell me... how you really feel or anything about me like that.  I’m fine. I don’t want to ever force you to stay, or say something you don’t feel. Just...just as long as you’re here with me...I’m fine.” Kageyama looked down at his mug in his hands, thumbing the handle. His insides felt like jelly and his limbs felt numb. Kageyama wished he hadn’t opened his mouth, that he’d kept all of that to himself. But the damage was done, and part of him actually felt better for telling Hinata how he really felt- at least partially. He glanced up at Hinata, who had fat, wet tears slowly coming down his face as he stared at Kageyama.

            “Why do you keep saying that?” Hinata whispered. Kageyama furrowed his brow and tilted his head perplexed.

            “That I love you?” Kageyama asked confused. Hinata nodded his head, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. “Because I do. I love you.”

            “How is that so easy for you to say?” Hinata said, properly crying now.

            “Because it’s how I really feel,” Kageyama said confused. “And I’m ok if you never feel like that toward me. You don’t ever have to. And if you ever need,” Kageyama struggled with how to say it, “to be... out... of this relationship, I would be ok. Because I love you.” Kageyama looked down at his mug, not able to look at Hinata anymore. “If...if there ever was anyone else...” he chanced a cautious glance up at Hinata who was facing his own mug, as tears dripped down his face, “we...we should agree to end this civilly, right? At least for Aiko’s sake, if not our own.” Hinata looked up at him, nodding as he wiped the tears from his eyes. Kageyama could feel the tears form behind his own eyes. “Good, ok.”

            “I’m um...” Hinata began staring off at somewhere past Kageyama, “I’m going to go shower.” He got up off the table and walked toward the bathroom leaving Kageyama in emotional duress. 

            _Telling him how I feel doesn’t matter. He just doesn’t feel the same. He’s just not going to feel the same, and I have to accept that. He just doesn’t love me._

* * *

 

            The cacophony of sounds in the playground of the school was completely overwhelming. Shouts and screams from children of all ages seemed to come from every direction with no signs of stopping.

            “God I forgot how loud little children are,” Yachi said as several ten-year-olds ran past the four of them while they stood outside. “And how ill-behaved.”

            “Well not everyone’s Aiko,” Kageyama shrugged looking at Yachi. “She’s really well behaved for a 4 year old.”

            “Suga told me I was a model child,” Aiko pitched in, swinging the hand that was holding Hinata’s hand. “Emi was jealous.”

            “Speaking of which, I think I saw some of the kids from your daycare here Aiko,” Kageyama said looking around the playground at the other tiny kindergarteners. “There’s Katsu and Rei ... and oh look your favorite, Emi,” he said gesturing around the playground. “I think they’re lining up or something,” Kageyama said noticing all of the parents and the little kids walking and forming girls and boys’ lines.

            “They are going into their class lines,” Hinata said watching several lines of little kids form. “Come on Muffin, let’s see which class is your class.” He and her walked toward a large lady with a clipboard that seemed to be directing everyone on where to go.

            “So,” Yachi said as Kageyama and her followed slowly, “You guys seem to be better.” Kageyama shrugged noncommittally. “What does,” she mimicked his shrug, “mean?”

            “It means...” Kageyama began looking for words to describe it, but he only ended up shrugging again.

            “Why does it mean,” she asked shrugging again.

            “Because...” Kageyama said at loss for how to express himself. They stopped walking just out of earshot to Hinata and Aiko. He saw Yachi’s expectant face. “Because...” he sighed, giving a pathetic laugh, “because we... talked about breaking up this morning. Because I think he’s cheating on me. Because I told him I loved him and he said nothing back. Because.” He looked away from her, worried that if he looked at her concerned face, he would begin to cry, again.

            “Oh Tobio,” Yachi started concernedly.  “Why didn’t you call me? We could’ve talked about this?”

            “Just forget it,” Kageyama said shrugging, looking away from her. “It’s not... it’s fine.”

            “But Tobio,” she said putting her hand on his arm, “It’s not. You... you shouldn’t have to be alone in this. If something is wrong, you have to tell him that truth. The whole truth, not just part of it.”

            “Oh yeah, like he’s telling me the whole truth?” Kageyama scoffed. “No... no, it’s not worth it. If telling him the whole truth ends with him leaving me then... no, I’m not risking it. I love him. I’m... I can’t lose him.”

            “Hey guys, they’re going to go inside soon!” Hinata called, waving them over. They started walking over to the line that Aiko was standing in .

           “Daddy! Mommy! I’m going to go inside soon,” Aiko said excitedly, her short, dark hair bouncing with each wiggle.

            “I know, isn’t this so exciting!” Yachi cooed caressing her face. “Ugh you’re such a big girl now,” she said, emotional, placing kisses all over her face.

            “Mommy,” she whined. “You’re going to ruin my hair.”

            “She already sounds like a broody teen,” Kageyama joked to Yachi. “How they grow up so fast.” The lady with the clipboard said the children were going to be led inside in a few minutes. “Did you hear that Aiko? A few minutes and you’ll officially be in Kindergarten. Any last words?” Kageyama said to her kneeling down to her eye level.

            “I...I don’t think I can write out ‘Kageyama’ perfectly,” she said worriedly as if she just realized it.

            “That’s ok,” Kageyama said tucking her hair behind her ear. “If you knew everything you wouldn’t need school.” Aiko gave him a thankful smile and hug him tightly.

            “I love you daddy,” she whispered. He held on to her snugly.

            “I love you to, Belly,” he said pulling back to look at her face. He stood up and watched as she hugged Yachi and Hinata. “I’ll be here to pick you up at 3pm ok?”

            “Ok daddy,” she said facing forward in line, mentally preparing herself.

            “Have fun sweetheart,” Yachi said waving as Aiko’s line started walking toward the school.

            “We’ll see you later Muffin,” Hinata said waving to Aiko. They all stood and watched as she entered the school building with all of the other students.

            “Well that was relatively painless,” Kageyama said giving a content nod. He glanced over at Yachi who was in tears. “What the heck? Aiko didn’t even cry.”

            “I know I’m sorry,” she said emotionally. “She’s just so grown up now.”

            “She’s four,” Kageyama said.

            “Shut up,” Yachi said wiping her face. “Let me be an emotional mom for one second, ok?”

            “Take all the time you need,” Kageyama said raising his hands in surrender. They started walking toward the parking lot. “I’m glad you came though. I know Aiko loved having you here. Even if it was just for the one day.”

            “How could I have missed her first day of school?” Yachi said as they reached her car. She looked down at her watch and winced. “But I am going to be late. I have to go, but tell Aiko I love her and I want to hear all about how her first day of school went.” She pulled Kageyama into a tight hug. “Please call if you need me,” she whispered into his ear. She pulled back and gave him a small smile before pulling Hinata into a hug. “Bye guys, I’ll see you later,” she called getting into her car. Kageyama and Hinata waved her off before turning and walking toward Hinata’s car.

            “Do you need to go back to the apartment first or?” Hinata asked unlocking the car.

            “No, if you could just drive me straight to work that’d be ok,” Kageyama said getting into the passenger side.

            “Ok,” Hinata said sitting in the driver’s side. He turned on the car but didn’t start to move yet. Kageyama watched him quizzically as he buckled himself in. “Kageyama... I think we should talk.” Kageyama tensed up in his seat, feeling like he couldn’t breathe properly.

            “Ok...” he said carefully, his voice a lot surer than he felt. “Right...right now?”

            “No,” Hinata said, shaking his head softly. “But soon. Sometime soon.”

            “Alright,” Kageyama said nodding his head. He couldn’t tell if it was from the conversation or his lack of sleep, but he felt very dizzy. “We’ll talk.”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so strap in guys this is a really angsty chapter. and it was made readable by chambe5r_the_5_is_silent who is amazing and edited this nightmare chapter and fixed like all 4532634032 typos that i had. honestly i don't even know how i managed to update without him for all this time. bless you.
> 
> i don't want to say too much about this chapter because it's definitely one that needs to be read without much preamble, but i do want to say that i've gotten an amazing amount of comments on here and messages on tumblr and to all those you've wrote to me in some way, i just want to thank you so much. you guys are the kindest people and i'm beyond thrilled that you enjoy my little stupid gay story.   
> if i haven't responded yet to your comments on here that's probably because you wrote an amazing comment with so much thought and depth that i'm intimidated by it and too scared to answer something like "yeah cool lol" which is like, my go to answer. but i will respond to as many as i can, but i do read every single one and i cherish them. 
> 
> ok without much further ado; the angst...

           

* * *

            Sometime soon was nowhere near soon enough for Kageyama. He spent the week in near constant stress and agony, thinking each day Hinata was going to sit him down and tell him he could never love him and he was leaving him for Kenma. Each night, when he even could sleep, brought nightmares that now had new levels of twisted horrors consisting of a very blasé Hinata telling him he was unlovable. Even Iwaizumi noticed his new accelerated state of stress.

            “Kageyama, are you ok?” Iwaizumi asked, standing in the doorway of Kageyama’s workroom.  “You look sick.” Kageyama’s skin had taken on a pale, sickly tone, and his face was even more sullen than usual.

            “Yeah, I’m fine. Why’d you ask?” Kageyama said looking up from his drawing pad. Iwaizumi gave him a disbelieving look.

            “Seriously?” he said, shaking his head. “Because you look like shit.”

            “Is my work suffering?” Kageyama asked earnestly.

            “Well no-” Iwaizumi began.

            “Then please don’t worry about me,” Kageyama tried to say as kindly as he could manage.

            Kageyama had managed to brush him off with an excuse about being stressed about Aiko starting school, and Iwaizumi seemed to have bought it. Or at least partially. Iwaizumi gave him a slightly dubious look as he left the room. Kageyama spent the rest of that week trying to not exactly avoid Iwaizumi, but he definitely didn’t seek him out. It felt like Hinata was doing the same thing with him. He’d go up to Hinata, to try to prompt him to talk to him, and Hinata would always have a reason why they couldn’t talk.  Sometimes, he’d say he didn’t want to have to conversation while Aiko was around to hear it. Other times he’d say he was tired and didn’t want to “get into it” at the moment. By Friday night, Kageyama was abuzz with anxiety.

            “Hinata,” Kageyama said, walking into the kitchen. Hinata looked up from the sink, where he was washing dishes. “I’ve put Aiko to bed and she’s asleep.”

            “Ok,” Hinata said, like he wasn’t sure why Kageyama came in to tell him that. “Good.”

            “Yes,” Kageyama said, watching Hinata’s face.

            “Alright then,” Hinata began, starting to look away. “We have like 12 episodes of-”

            “We need to talk,” Kageyama said, interrupting him. Hinata looked over at him, his face full of dread. “You said almost a week ago that we need to talk and... I... we should talk.” Kageyama squared his shoulders, trying to give off an aura of seriousness.

            “...Ok,” Hinata said after a moment, looking Kageyama over seeing nothing but solemnity. He turned off the sink, and wiped his hands on the back of his pants, and turned to face Kageyama. “Let’s talk.” Hinata leaned back onto the counter folding his arms in front of him.

            “I...” Kageyama wasn’t sure how to start. He couldn’t even believe that he’d gotten Hinata to talk with him after so little prodding. “I want to know what’s wrong with you.”

            “Excuse me?” Hinata said in disbelief.

            “That’s not... there’s something... wrong, and you’re not talking to me about it,” Kageyama said, gesturing to Hinata, who shifted uncomfortably in his place. Hinata scoffed and looked somewhere past Kageyama.

            “There’s something wrong, and I’m not talking to you about it,” he repeated, shaking his head. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

            “What?” Kageyama said, craning his head slightly.

            “You,” Hinata shrugged. “There’s always something wrong with you that you’re not telling me about. I just think it’s funny that you want me to tell you things and when I ask you point blank to talk to me, you refuse.”

            “I’m... that’s,” Kageyama stuttered.

            “That’s different right?” Hinata said sarcastically. “Of course it is.”

            “You... you’re the one who said we needed to talk,” Kageyama said. confused. “Why don’t you want to talk? ”

            “You want to talk?” Hinata said, annoyed, standing up straighter. “Ok, let’s talk. Let’s start with how you hid your _friendship_ with Oikawa from me.”

            “Wh-what does that-” Kageyama said, growing more uncomfortable.

            “Why would you hide it?” Hinata asked, raising his hands up in a shrug. “Why would you need to hide a... _friendship._ ”

            “What are you implying?” Kageyama asked, growing angry.

            “You know exactly what I’m saying,” Hinata said, his voice cold and flat.

            “I could ask you the same thing,” Kageyama said angrily.

            “Excuse me?” Hinata repeated, annoyed.

            “Yeah,” Kageyama said, nodding his head. “Like, if you’re not hiding anything, then please do explain to me what errands for the bakery took you to a bar on Sunday?” He watched a flash of recognition cross Hinata’s face before fury settled in its place. “Didn’t think I’d notice? You came home smelling like a bar, of course I was going to notice.”

            “...Then... then why didn’t you say anything?” Hinata asked flatly, like he was trying to keep himself cool. Kageyama could feel a yell building in his throat.

            “Why? Why didn’t I call out my boyfriend on the fact that he blatantly lied to me and went out to some bar and did god knows what?” Kageyama asked, raising his voice. “Because I trusted you!”

            “No you don’t!” Hinata stated, raising his voice to match Kageyama’s.

            “Well evidently I was wrong to trust you, wasn’t I?” Kageyama asked, growing angrier by the second. “You’re not exactly denying it.” Hinata just stared at him, not answering, clenching his jaw. “Unbelievable,” Kageyama sighed, slapping his hands  on his sides in frustration.

            “Kageyama,” Hinata sighed.

            “Who did you go see?” Kageyama asked, hoping for a different answer than the one he already knew. “At this bar that you _had_ to go to. After you made _me_ leave _my_ friend at a bar for some still undisclosed reason. While you got  to spend the whole day gallivanting around with this super important person. Who was it?” Kageyama asked, staring him down. Hinata just stood there, clenching his jaw tighter and biting his nails into his forearms. “It was Kenma, wasn’t it,” Kageyama said, more like a statement than a question. Hinata seemed to flush at the mention of his name. “It was. It was him.”

            “Yes,” Hinata said tersely. Hearing it come from Hinata’s mouth was so much worse than Kageyama had anticipated. Kageyama just nodded his head, looking down at the floor. He felt like all the air just got knocked out of him and he was dizzy and lightheaded.

            “Have... you met up with him before and not told me?” Kageyama asked, even though he was sure he knew the answer. His mind flashed to Hinata’s GPS with Kenma’s address in his very recent trips.

            “Yes,” Hinata said again, in the same terse, flat voice. Kageyama had to take a deep breath. He put his hands to rest on either hip, trying to keep himself steady.

            “Do... do you know that he’s in love with you?” Kageyama questioned,  looking down at his shoes. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at Hinata. There was a long, pregnant pause before Hinata answered.

            “I do,” Hinata said quietly. Kageyama nodded his head like he was listening to something complicated, that he needed to fully understand.

            “Do you love him?” Kageyama forced out. He could feel his throat closing in anticipation. It felt like every hair on his body was standing on end.

            “I... only... in the way that...” Hinata started.

            “You know what, I don’t want to know,” Kageyama said, putting his hand up to cut Hinata off. He could feel himself not breathing properly.

            “He’s my best friend,” Hinata said, trying to reason with Kageyama.

            “Then why did you hide you meeting with him from me?” Kageyama asked incredulously. “Don’t you see how that looks a little suspect?”

            “Because...” Hinata began not knowing how to continue. “I don’t know, I just did.”

            “Have you lied about other things? Hidden other things from me?” Kageyama asked, feeling his chest tighten.  

            “The fucking balls you have to even ask me that,” Hinata cried, completely angry.  “What about you, huh?”

            “What the fuck are you talking about?” Kageyama asked, knowing full well where Hinata was going.

            “Look, I left you alone with the nightmare thing, against my better judgment,” Hinata said, taking  a step towards Kageyama. “I tried to talk with you about things and you shut me out. You! Not me! I didn’t push myself away, you did!”

            “I don’t tell you something deeply personal and you retaliate by running off to your ex!?” Kageyama shouted back. Hinata’s eyes grew wide with realization. “Oh yeah, I know. I’ve known for awhile now.”

            “H-how?” Hinata stuttered.

            “Because I fucking asked him,” Kageyama bit out heatedly.

            “I...I-I didn’t tell you because...because I-” Hinata stumbled.

            “Because you didn’t want me to know,” Kageyama said flatly. Hinata bit his lower lip and looked down at the floor, his shoulders sagging. “How long?” Hinata looked up at him with a questioning face. “How long were you guys together for?” Kageyama clarified impatiently.

            “Four years,” Hinata admitted quietly after a moment. Kageyama felt all the breath go out of him in a rush.

            “Four fucking years... and you couldn’t tell me that before I met him?” Kageyama questioned,  growing angrier. “You couldn’t have told me that so I didn’t look like a fucking asshole. No wonder I thought you guys seemed close.”

            “It’s not like... I didn’t... we’re,” Hinata sighed; closing his eyes, he tilted his head back. Kageyama watched him, teeth clenched and fuming.

            “You know Natsu told me about him too,” Kageyama snarled.  Hinata looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, she did. She told me that you broke up with your last boyfriend because you  said it wasn’t serious.”

            “It wasn’t,” Hinata insisted.

            “Well fuck, Shouyou. If four years isn’t serious what’s a handful of months to you?” Kageyama yelled feeling more hurt than when Natsu had  explained this to him the first time.

            “It’s not the same!” Hinata yelled back, stepping forward.

            “Oh yeah you’re right,” Kageyama scoffed. “This _is_ different. Because this time you have some ex you can run off to whenever the fuck you want!”

            “That’s not what I meant!” Hinata shouted.

            “I don’t care what you meant!” Kageyama yelled. “I’m so tired and so done with all this bullshit and I’m sick of walking on eggshells around you.”

            “Well you know what I don’t care that you’re tired!” Hinata screamed. “You’re always tired! And then you never want to do anything about it.”

            “Maybe it’s just something I have to deal with and you should just mind your own fucking business!” Kageyama screamed.

            “You’re my business!” Hinata retorted angrily, throwing his hands in the air. “We live together. We sleep in the same bed. We take care of Aiko together. Everything about you is my business!”

            “That’s funny because that doesn’t seem to go both ways!” Kageyama yelled menacingly. Fed up, he stomped off into the living room, just trying to not lose himself completely.

            “Maybe if you were more up front with me then maybe it would go both ways!” Hinata screamed after him, following him into the living room. “How could you even get angry with that when you have a side relationship with Oikawa?”

            “What the fuck,” Kageyama said, turning around. “You’re grasping at straws.”

            “No, I’m dead serious,” Hinata said. “I know.”

            “What do you know?” Kageyama asked, turning around fully, to level him an intense glare.

            “You know what,” Hinata said flatly.

            “No I don’t,” Kageyama said coldly.

            “Don’t make me say it,” Hinata said, deflating slightly, looking away from Kageyama.

            “No, if you’re going to accuse me of something, you have to say it. ” Kageyama said frostily. His heart was beating out of his chest and he felt like he could barely breathe.

            “I know... that you and Oikawa... have some sort of...something going on between you,” Hinata said vaguely.

            “What are you exactly trying to say?” Kageyama pressed.

            “Oh fuck, Kageyama you know what I’m fucking saying you’re just being a dick about it,” Hinata said irately. Kageyama could see tears start to form in Hinata’s eyes. “Just stop making me say this.”

            “I’m not sleeping with him if that’s what you’re trying to imply,” Kageyama said flatly.

            “I heard you guys, on the phone,” Hinata said, his eyes as watery as his voice. “And then at the bar, just flirting in front of me like that...” Hinata let out a sob and buried his face in his hands. Kageyama watched him cry, suddenly understanding why Hinata had been acting so weird. But he still felt angry. And he felt vindictive. “How could you just bring me to be there with him?”

            “What?” Kageyama bit out. “Should I have done what you did and just lied to you and gone to see him in some clandestine bar?”

            “Why are you doing this to me?” Hinata cried. “You said you loved me.”

            “Well I guess I’m just another Kenma for you,” Kageyama said coldly. “Call me so we can hook up when you get your next boyfriend.” Kageyama didn’t stay to watch the effect of his words on Hinata. He stomped off into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. He immediately slid down the door and broke down the way he had tried so hard not to do in front of Hinata. Slumped against the door, he pulled his legs up to his chest, and cried into his arms in a way he hasn’t done since he was a child. He didn’t know how long he had cried for.  Kageyama just sat on the floor of his bedroom, sniffling into his arms. He didn’t move until he heard a soft knock on his bedroom door. Getting up to tell Hinata he could sleep on the couch, he wrenched open the door only to find a very nervous looking Aiko.

            “Belly, hey what’s wrong?” Kageyama said wiping his face with his hand.

            “Can I sleep here daddy?” Aiko asked, playing with the hem of her shirt.

            “Um, yeah sure,” he said picking her up. He stuck his head out into the hallway trying to get a glimpse of where Hinata was but he didn’t see him. He carried Aiko into his room, closing the bedroom door behind him. “Did you have a nightmare Belly?” he asked setting her on his bed. He turned to go change out of his shirt into one more comfortable for sleeping.

            “I couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled. He paused in the middle of putting on a sleeping shirt. _She must have heard the whole argument_. He quickly pulled on his shirt and turned to look at her. She sat on the foot his bed, her feet dangling off the edge; her eyes downcast and her shoulders slouched over. “Are you and Hinata going to get a divorce?”

            “We’re...we’re not married Belly,” Kageyama said, slightly taken aback by her question. “You can only get divorced if you’re married. We’re not married.”

            “But two months ago Rei told me her mommy and daddy got into a big fight and then they told her the next day that they were getting a divorce,” Aiko said, staring up at Kageyama. Her big blue eyes were brimming with tears. “And then her daddy moved out and she doesn’t see him anymore.” She was properly crying now. Kageyama walked over to her slowly and sat on the bed next to her.

            “Why are you crying Aiko?” he asked, placing his hand gently on the top of her head.

            “I just got two daddies,” she sobbed. “I don’t want to lose them.”

            “Ai-Aiko what are you talking about?” he asked, trying to hold her close.

            “You and Hinata keep fighting,” she cried. “You guys yell and use bad words.”

            “I’m sorry if you heard us fighting tonight Belly, we didn’t mean to wake you up,” he said rubbing her back with his hand.

            “Last time you guys woke me up I went back to sleep but this time I was worried,” Aiko said wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand. “I couldn’t go back to sleep.”

            “Last time Belly?” Kageyama asked confused.

            “When we took the trip,” she sniffled. “I was worried when you guys yelled in the car, but I went back to sleep. But tonight I couldn’t go back to sleep. Daddy please let me sleep here with you and Hinata.” Kageyama just stared down at his daughter, feelings of sadness and overwhelming guilt washed over him. “ _I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was worried”... I’m worrying her and my relationship with Hinata is affecting her. This is my fault. I’m worrying her._

“Daddy, please,” she pleaded through watery eyes.

            “Yes of course Belly,” he said, hugging her to his chest. “Of course you can sleep here with me.” He pulled back to give her a kiss on the forehead. “You just get in bed, I’ll be right back.” He got up off the bed and walked over to the door. He opened it as quietly as possible and stepped out into the hallway. Trying to make as few noises as possible, he crept down the hallway into the living room. “Hinata?” he called out twisting his head around the room. All the lights except the lamp they normally leave on were off and, there were no other sounds coming from the apartment. He walked into the kitchen, calling out for Hinata again. No answer. He walked back into the living room and over to the front door. Both Hinata’s shoes and jacket were missing. He turned and saw that Hinata’s car keys were missing from the counter also.

            _He left._

            Sighing deeply, Kageyama walked slowly to the bathroom. Splashing some water on his face, Kageyama didn’t even want to look in the mirror to see how awful he looked. Shuffling back into his bedroom he saw Aiko’s small body sleeping in the middle of the bed. Changing into pajama pants, Kageyama gingerly got into bed careful not to disturb Aiko sleeping. She automatically sought him out as he lay down, pressing her head to his shoulder and fisting her tiny hands in his shirt. He wrapped his arm around her tiny frame, holding her close. He closed his eyes, trying not to think. Kageyama didn’t think he would be getting much sleep that night. No matter how much he’d try to clear his mind, just to get a couple hours of rest, he couldn’t stop his mind from racing.

            _I pushed him away. I sent him to Kenma. I did this. I knew I didn’t deserve him, but I thought maybe, just maybe, I could keep him for a little while longer. I should’ve known he was always going to leave._


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like it's been awhile since my last update? or maybe i've been busy and it just seems like a long time. but regardless I want you guys to know that i have read every single one of your messages on this fic and on tumblr even if i haven't yet commented on them (I honestly have like 67 in my inbox rn on AO3, but i'm going to try to respond to them, it's just so daunting) 
> 
> a lot of you guys have had amazing reactions, and by amazing I mean you all freaked out and told me how much this story was killing you. all of which I take as a plus. 
> 
> this is kind of bridge chapter, the next one.... well i cried writing it so... 
> 
> once again thanks to my wonderful beta chambe5r-the-5-is-silent; you fix my typos and reword my clunky sentences with the speed and skill of an athlete. many thanks

           

* * *

           It was 6:30 and Kageyama was tired. No, he was more than tired; he was exhausted. He sat at his table on Sunday morning, staring unfocused and dazed at his mug, not really seeing anything that was in front of him. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. His limbs felt heavy and numb. His mind was a million miles away. He almost preferred when he had nightmares, because not sleeping at all was so much worse.

            Kageyama had barely slept that Friday night, leading to a groggy and irritable Saturday, where he barely had the patience and self control to calmly answer Aiko’s incessant questioning to Hinata’s whereabouts.

            “But he always makes us breakfast,” Aiko complained Saturday morning when she had awoken to find that Hinata had not returned. “He promised he was going to make those special pancakes today.”

            “I know Belly,” Kageyama sighed, trying to rub away the tiredness in his eyes. “But he’s not here right now. But I’m sure he’ll make you something when he comes back.” Aiko didn’t seem to like that answer, but nodded her head anyway.

            The rest of the day was repeats of the mornings’ interrogation. Aiko would ask Kageyama if Hinata was on his way back, and Kageyama would say he didn’t know, causing Aiko to pout for a small period of time.  Which when it was up, she would then ask a variation of the same question. By mid-afternoon, Kageyama was at his wits end with Aiko’s questioning and snapped.

            “Aiko! I don’t know where he is, and I don’t know when he’s coming back!” he yelled after she had asked, for the umpteenth time, where Hinata was. Aiko just stared up at him, not saying anything as her eyes quickly filled with tears. Before Kageyama could apologize for yelling, she ran off, crying into her room, slamming her bedroom door behind her. Kageyama hadn’t been able to coax her out of her room until he made her favorite dinner and promised they could stay up watching movies. But now as Kageyama sat trying to stay awake on a maximum of four hours of sleep for two days, he felt like asking the same kind of questions himself.

            The thought of going to the bakery the day before did cross his mind. He knew Hinata wasn’t one for leaving his bakery for no reason if he really didn’t need to. It would have been a simple trip, but one he was neither ready, nor willing to make. Kageyama understood the implications of what he had said to Hinata Friday night. He knew that it was a very real possibility that he and Hinata were very much through. He was aware that he should probably try to contact him in some way, but every time he had his phone in his hand he’d be reminded of accidentally reading Hinata’s texts, which would remind him that Hinata went to secretly meet Kenma, which would remind him of his anger and would force the phone out of his hand. Even as he sat at the table now, his phone in front of him, he couldn’t bring himself to even send a text to Hinata.

            _Well he hasn’t exactly tried to contact me either. I might be being petty, but so is he. Doesn’t he realize that he should at least have left a note or something? He has no idea how this is affecting Aiko. But I got us into this mess. I should have never attempted to go out with him in the first place. I should have stuck to my guns and focused my time and energy on Aiko. She’s the one who actually needs me, and I’m a wreck and I can’t be there for her the way I should be. And now she’s been involved in this catastrophe and she’s going to get hurt in the crossfire. This is all my fault. I should have been thinking about her needs and wants more than mine. And now I’m in too deep. I love him._

Kageyama rested his head on the table. He let out a breathy sob, against his will, into his arms that he had laying on the table, under his head. The back of his eyes burned with a painful combination of guilt and exhaustion.He felt the involuntary wetness of tears on his forearms as he cried messily. After a few moments of shallow breaths and fat tears, Kageyama felt the table vibrate from a notification on his phone. Wiping his face, he picked up the phone and brought it up to his face.

**> Hey I’m going to be in the area in the afternoon, mind if I come over to see you guys?**

            He had to blink at his phone a couple times, rereading the name a few times before he finally registered it as Yachi. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he typed out his response, telling her that she was welcome to come over whenever. Setting his phone back down on the table, he took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to free it of the clouded tiredness.

            “Daddy?” Aiko’s muffled voice came from his bedroom. He got up and walked into the bedroom. Opening the door, Kageyama found Aiko sitting up in his bed with a blanket wrapped around her back and over her head, and held closed by her tiny hands against her chest, only exposing her small face.

            “Hey Belly. Good morning,” he said, sitting down on the bed next to her. He adjusted himself so he was lying down comfortably, with his head resting on his pillow. Kageyama felt Aiko crawl over and lay her tiny body on top of his, Kageyama’s arm automatically going around her back, to hold her tight. “Did you sleep ok?” he asked, tilting his chin completely down so as to see her better. He felt her shake her head against his chest. “Why didn’t you sleep well?”

            “Because,” she mumbled into his chest.

            “Because why Belly?” he asked, rubbing her back comfortingly.

            “Where’s Hinata?” she asked, tilting her head to look up at him. Her big blue eyes stared pleadingly into his.

            “I...I don’t know Belly,” he said softly. She seemed to deflate.

            “But where’d he go?” she wondered, turning her head back down to be more comfortable. “He’s always here on Sundays.” He could here her sniffle in his shirt. “H-he promised m-me he was going to m-make the Cheddar Squ-squash muffins,” she cried, her breathing erratic from her crying. Kageyama felt like crying again himself, but he knew that he didn’t want to cry in front of Aiko like that.  So he just controlled his breathing through his nose, taking steady breaths so as to not lose control entirely.

            “I’m sorry Belly,” Kageyama said, gently soothing her head with his hand. “But I have some good news for you.” She tilted her head up to look at him again. “Mommy’s coming over later today.”

            “Mommy?” Aiko sniffled, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. Kageyama nodded to her, giving her a small soft smile. She jumped  up and off Kageyama’s chest. “Mommy’s coming? I have to get ready!” With that, she ran out of the room mumbling about how she had to prepare and get all her drawings together. Kageyama took that as a sign to start being productive for the day. And so he did. He cleaned up the kitchen and did more laundry. He took Aiko out to get new shoes and more clothes. And he even got her haircut, all before the mid-late afternoon when Yachi called saying she was on her way.

            “Mommy is on her way,” Kageyama said as he unlocked the apartment door. He carried in the bags of clothes and shoes, as Aiko ran in behind him.

            “Do you think she’ll like my hair?” Aiko asked, gesturing to her new, long pixie cut.

            “Oh, of course she will,” Kageyama smiled at her, setting the bags down in the living room. “You’d look beautiful with any hair cut. And you look beautiful right now, Belly.”

            “Thank you daddy,” Aiko said, running her fingers through her short hair. “I can’t wait to see what Hinata will say when he sees it,” she says as she takes some of her clothes into her bedroom.

            “He can’t see it if he never comes back,” Kageyama mumbled aggressively under his breath. It was already almost 5pm on Sunday and still no word from Hinata. Kageyama had moved past worried and concerned, and was well into annoyed and pissed off.

_Fine. We had a fight. We both said awful things. Be mad. But don’t fucking disappear for the whole weekend. He’s so selfish sometimes._

            A knock at the door broke Kageyama out of his thoughts. He walked over to the front door and pulled it open.

            “Hey Tobio,” Yachi greeted, pulling him into a hug. “Thanks for letting me stop by- whoa.” She stared at his face after pulling back from the hug.

            “What?” he asked, taking a step back.

            “You...you look... sick?” Yachi said, putting her hand on his forehead to feel for a fever.

            “I’m- I’m not sick,” Kageyama said, furrowing his brow.

            “Tobio, you look sick,” Yachi said worriedly. Kageyama just blinked, confused. He had barely even looked at his appearance the whole weekend. Actually, he realized, he’d barely even thought about how he looked at all since Friday. He could barely remember what he put on that morning. “Are you feeling ok?”

            “Yeah I’m,” Kageyama began, but then he cut himself off. He knew he was about to tell her that he felt fine. But he didn’t; he wasn’t fine at all. Kageyama just stared blankly at her.

            “Where’s Hinata?” Yachi said moving further into the apartment. She ducked her head into the kitchen and looked around. Turning around confused she looked at Kageyama who was just standing in the living room, rubbing the back of his neck. “Tobio, where’s Hinata?”

            “He...left,” Kageyama said quietly. He looked up at her beneath his fringe.

            “Left?” Yachi repeated.

            “Yeah,” Kageyama said crossing his arms. “Friday night. I um, I haven’t heard back from him.”

            “What?” Yachi said in disbelief. She walked over to him and placed her hand on his arm. “Did he...is this for good?”

            “I don’t know,” Kageyama said shrugging his shoulders. “His stuff is still here so... I have no idea. He hasn’t even...” he sighed, frustrated and put his hands on his hips. “Whatever, it’s just...whatever.”

            “Since Friday?” Yachi wondered, shaking her head. “And he hasn’t even called? Texted?” Kageyama shook his head. “How’s Aiko been? With out Hinata?”

            “Not... great,” Kageyama replied, scratching his neck. “She’s confused as to why he’s not here and I don’t really know what to tell her.”

           “Yeah... I don’t really know what you could do either,” Yachi said looking down. “Have you called him? Or tried to contact him at all?”

            “Um, no,” Kageyama said a bit sheepishly. “But he’s the one who left so...” Yachi looked at him like she knew that there was more to the story, but didn’t want to push the point.

            “Look Tobio,” she said putting her hand on his cheek. “I don’t have work tomorrow, how about I take Aiko home with me and I drive her to school in the morning? So you can rest a bit? You look really sick.”

            “Are you sure?” he asked. She looked at him like she wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t want to. “Ok, yeah sure,” he nodded. Yachi smiled and kissed his cheek before she walked toward Aiko’s bedroom. Kageyama walked over to the couch, listening to Aiko’s shouts of happiness and Yachi’s compliments on her new haircut.

            _I look sick? How horrible do I actually look? I don’t think I’ve even looked at my reflection all weekend. I must look really bad if Yachi wants me to rest that badly. I don’t even know if I can rest. I’m so overtired that I don’t think I could sleep if I wanted to._

“Daddy! Mommy said I get to spend the night at her apartment!” Aiko exclaimed, running into the living room. “She’s going to drive me to school in the morning!”

            “I know Belly,” he said giving her a soft smile. “I’ll pick you up from school tomorrow.”

            “Ok daddy,” she smiled. “Can Hinata bring me home a muffin for a snack? For after school?” Kageyama smile faded quickly.

            “Oh um, I’ll... I’ll ask him,” Kageyama said non-committedly. He tried to smile back at her but his heart wasn’t in it.

            “Come on sweetheart,” Yachi said, patting her shoulder. “Pack your clothes for tomorrow and grab your backpack, so we can go. We’ll go get dinner.”

            “Ok mommy,” she said happily, skipping back to her room. Yachi looked over at Kageyama, who was wearing a slight frown.

            “Get rest ok?” Yachi putting her hand under his chin and lifting his face to look at her in the eye. “Seriously, you look sick.”

            “Thanks,” he said, looking away. “I’ll...I’ll sleep. I’ve just been...” he sighed.

            “You know,” Yachi said, sitting down next to him on the couch, “I do have a bit of experience with a partner not being... upfront with me.” Kageyama glanced at her; she gave him a knowing look. “And it’s hard... especially when you know about your partner and they aren’t telling you... but you know... things work out.”

            “What are you talking about, we broke up,” Kageyama said, shaking his head. “How is that ‘working it out’?”

            “Well that was working out for us,” Yachi said shrugging. “What? What were we going to do? Stay together just because we had a kid? In what world would we have been happy?”

            “I would have tried to make you happy,” Kageyama said, putting his hand on her cheek. “I was willing to try. I loved you.”

            “Oh Tobio,” she said, smiling at him. “I wasn’t the only one who needed to be happy.” He nodded, and put his hand down on his lap. “And for the record, I loved you too. I still love you.”

            “I know,” he said, giving her a half-hearted smile.

            “Look, if this doesn’t... work out in the way you want it to, just, know that I will always be there for you,” she reminded him, putting her hand on his . Kageyama gave her a half-hearted smile.

            “Mommy I’m ready,” Aiko said cheerfully, as she skipped back into the living room.

            “Ok sweetheart,” Yachi replied, getting off the couch and taking the bags from her daughter. “Say goodnight to daddy.”

            “Goodnight daddy,” Aiko said, giving Kageyama a hug. He held her tightly against his chest. “I’ll miss you. And I love you. And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “Yes to all of the above,” he smiled, brushing his fingers through her new, short hair. “I love you and goodnight, Belly.” Aiko and Yachi left the apartment, closing the door behind them with a resounding click that plunged Kageyama into more silence than he was prepared for. He felt more uncomfortable and anxious without there being any other sounds than his own.

            Kageyama tried to use his newfound solitude to his advantage. It wasn’t often that he was alone in the apartment without Aiko, and he wanted to make use of it. Kageyama tried every method he could think of to relax: he watched some TV, he ran a bath, he even attempted his “tried and true” method of relaxation; but in everything that he tried, fleeting thoughts of amber eyes and ginger hair infiltrated his mind and he could not relax.

           Feeling more exhausted than before, Kageyama sat on his couch running a hand through his wet hair, contemplating his next  attempt of relaxation and forgetting  about Hinata. He checked the time; only 8:00pm, too early to go to bed, even though he was tired. He had a passing impulse that he acted on before he could even think about what he was doing. Grabbing his phone, he scrolled through his contacts until he came across the number he was looking for, and pressed call.

           “Hey Tobio,” Oikawa said, picking up on the second ring. “What’s up?”

           “Um, what are you doing?” Kageyama asked bluntly, getting to his point.

           “Er, well right now, nothing too sexy,” Oikawa sighed. “I’m in the supermarket deciding whether or not I want beef or pork ramen.”

           “Well, I haven’t eaten yet, but I have steak here that I can cook,” Kageyama said, not really thinking about what he was saying. “You want to come over for dinner?”

           “I’m on my way,” Oikawa accepted. Kageyama could tell he was smiling into the phone.

           “Ok I’ll text you my address,” Kageyama replied, smiling slightly. “I’ll see you soon.”

 


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so is everyone ready for the shit to hit the fan? i know i am. My beta (who is awesome) told me he hated me after this chapter so that should give you a bit of an insight for what's in store. 
> 
> I know i'm replying late to all of your comments, but i swear i'm going to reply to all of them (most of them) eventually. just know that you should absolutely continue commenting because i 100% read them, and then reread them, and then get nervous about the best way to respond because the comments are too perfect and then get reprimanded by certain people who know who they are for not replying but i promise i will. But i'm reading them, i swear. 
> 
> ok, now on to the angst!!

* * *

            Kageyama was just taking the steaks out of the pan as the doorbell rang. Turning off the stovetop, he walked over to the door wiping his hands on the back of his pants. When he opened the door, Oikawa stood there, smiling sheepishly, carrying two shopping bags.

            “Hey,” Oikawa said, smiling at Kageyama.

            “Hey,” Kageyama replied, releasing his breath, “here come in.” Kageyama moved aside so Oikawa could walk into the apartment.

            “So, I didn’t know exactly what to bring so I bought a case of beer,” he said, holding up a large cardboard box . “Also you said steak and I like fries with that, so I bought fries also,” he held up the other bag that had take out French-fries in a large container. “I wasn’t sure what Aiko eats, so I bought her ice cream. All little kids like ice cream right?”

            “Oh wow, thanks,” Kageyama said, taking the bags from him. “The beer is greatly appreciated. But actually Aiko isn’t here tonight, she’s with her mom.” Kageyama walked into the kitchen gesturing for Oikawa to follow him.

            “Oh ok,” Oikawa said, walking cautiously behind him into the kitchen. Kageyama could see in his periphery Oikawa looking around the apartment. “So it’s just you and Hinata for the night? Why would you invite me to third wheel that?”

            “Um, you’re not third wheeling,” Kageyama said kind of stiffly as he pulled out the food from the bags and placed them on the counter. He glanced at Oikawa, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Hinata’s um... not here tonight.”

            “Oh,” Oikawa said. Kageyama thought he looked a mix of relieved and nervous. “He’s not here tonight as in... just tonight or as in...”

            “As in lets not talk about him,” Kageyama said curtly, putting the beers in the fridge and two in the freezer. He turned to see Oikawa standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’ve had... a long, stressful weekend. I just want to talk and have a few beers with my friend.”

            “I can do that,” Oikawa said, smirking. Kageyama exhaled, feeling a bit less stressed already. They both brought the food to the table, giving themselves large, plentiful portions. Sitting comfortably with Oikawa made Kageyama realize how much he missed real adult conversation. A conversation where he didn’t feel like he had to dig for the underlying meaning in thinly veiled argumentative statements. He didn’t feel like he was on edge or aggravated. But mostly, he didn’t have to think about Hinata. During dinner Kageyama realized why he kept Oikawa as a friend despite his obnoxiousness; he was surprisingly fun. Kageyama felt like he was having a good time, just talking and eating with him. He felt like he hadn’t let loose in ages. The tension in his spine and neck began to unravel the further and further as his mind released itself from thoughts of Hinata.

            “Yeah, so this guy,” Oikawa said, as he lounged on the couch where they moved after they finished their dinner, “I had only really been seeing for a couple weeks-”

            “A couple weeks?” Kageyama said, confused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

            “Well there was a reason for that which I’m about to tell you right now,” Oikawa laughed. Kageyama gestured with his beer bottle for him to continue. “So I had only being seeing him for like 2 weeks, and not even regularly. And out of fucking nowhere, he’s like ‘oh I love you, you’re perfect. I’ve never loved anyone else more than you. Lets be together forever’ like right in the middle of this semi-crowded park.”

            “Oh my god, what’d you do?” Kageyama wondered, smirking at his misfortune.

            “I told him I need to go to the bathroom, and I fucking ran out of there,” Oikawa shrugged. Kageyama laughed almost spitting his beer out into his hand. “I don’t think I even ran in the direction of the bathrooms.”

            “That’s amazing,” Kageyama said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Have you heard from him again?”

            “Thank god no,” Oikawa said, sitting up and placing his beer down on the coffee table. “It’s shame that he was nuts, he was really hot. Tall, but not taller than me. Darkish hair with tattoos up and down his whole body. Gorgeous.”

            “You really have a type,” Kageyama said, raising his eyebrows knowingly.

            “Yeah,” Oikawa said, looking away. They lapsed into silence. “So,” Oikawa continued, turning to look at Kageyama, “are we going to talk about the elephant in the room or not?”

            “Or not,” Kageyama said, taking a gulp of his beer.

            “Tobio,” Oikawa began, crossing his arms. Kageyama refused to look over at him. “You can’t just ignore the things that make you uncomfortable. Where’s Hinata?”

            “I don’t know,” Kageyama said dismissively, shrugging his shoulders. 

            “I’m being serious,” Oikawa said, annoyed.

            “So am I,” Kageyama said, clenching his jaw. “I don’t know where he is. He left Friday night after we argued and he hasn’t been back.” Kageyama stared at his fingers, picking at the label on the bottle. He could feel Oikawa staring into him.

            “Have...have you at least talked to him?” Oikawa asked, sitting up.

            “Nope,” Kageyama said, popping the ‘p’ aggressively.

            “Have you called him?” Oikawa asked, concerned.

            “Look I haven’t talked to him at all ok?” Kageyama said, annoyed. “He nor I have called each other, or texted, or anything, ok? We argued, and he left. End of story. I don’t know when he’s coming back, ok? Or if he’s coming back.” Kageyama finished his rant with a huff. Oikawa stared at him in disbelief.

            “Are you fucking stupid or something?” Oikawa asked, annoyed.

            “Excuse me?”

            “No seriously, are you fucking stupid?” Oikawa asked again leaning forward. “He leaves for days and you don’t bother to call him at all? Not one text? What the fuck is wrong with you? What if something happened?”

            “He left!” Kageyama cried out, irritated. “He left and I’m supposed to be his secretary here, trying to figure out his itinerary? Fuck no. Fuck him.”

            “You love him,” Oikawa pressed. “You love him and you’re not concerned at all?”

            “Well he knew that I loved him when he left,” Kageyama said, annoyed, putting his bottle down on the table, crossing his arms and settling back into his seat. “He knew, I told him that a bunch of times. And yet he still left. If he doesn’t care about me enough to call and tell me that he’s all right, then fuck him. I’m not going to sit here in a perpetual state of worry, cause that’s what he wants.”

            “Aren’t you worried?” Oikawa asked incredulously.

            “Of course I’m worried!” Kageyama shouted. Oikawa sat back a bit, startled by his sudden out burst. “I’ve been worried sick since Friday. Actually sick. To the point that Yachi came here and offered to take Aiko for the night so I could feel better. And clearly, he couldn’t care less if I’m worried about him. He just left... just...walked out with no word of returning. He...” Kageyama took a deep breath and shook his head, placing his hands on his lap, “doesn’t ...feel the same way about me as I do him. I just didn’t see it clearly until now. He doesn’t love me...and I know that now.” Kageyama looked down at his hands. He watched Oikawa gently place his hand on top of his own. He looked up at Oikawa through his fringe. 

            “His loss,” Oikawa said seriously, looking at Kageyama directly in his eyes. Kageyama felt himself flush.  “If he doesn’t love you, that’s his loss. Fuck him.” Kageyama smiled slightly. “You’re awesome. And funny. And cool, even though you’re a dork. And you’re a great dad with a cool little kid. And,” Oikawa paused a moment to look away with a weird half smile and an odd expression. Kageyama furrowed his brow slightly, but waited for him to continue. “And, anyone would be lucky to have you,” he finished, looking back at Kageyama, rubbing his thumb on Kageyama’s hand soothingly.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said, slightly embarrassed. “I... thanks.”

            “You’re welcome,” Oikawa said, sitting back, letting go of Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Ok enough of that gay touchy feely crap,” Oikawa said, picking up his beer and chugging it. Kageyama laughed watching him trying to finish his almost full beer in one go. With a sigh, Oikawa placed his empty beer bottle down on the table. “Finish that,” he said pointing to Kageyama’s beer, “I don’t have to be at work until tomorrow night, so I’m getting us two beers each, we’re going to get smashed and do something manly.”

            “That sounds more gay than the touchy feely crap,” Kageyama said, grimacing as Oikawa walked into the kitchen laughing. Kageyama smirked around his beer as he chugged it down.

* * *

 

            It was 6:30 in the morning and Kageyama was asleep. Actually asleep. In a deep, restful sleep. And he comfortable and warm. It felt like it had been so long since he last felt rested, that he had no intention of moving or being woken up. Kageyama was still in that world between dreams and consciousness when a slam awoke him. Jumping slightly, he blinked a couple times trying to wake himself up. Still half asleep, his first thought was that something had happened to Aiko and she was hurt.

            “Aiko?” he mumbled lifting his head from the warmth below him, his voice rough from sleep. He heard a humorless laugh.

            “Nope,” Hinata responded from above him. Realizing immediately who it was, Kageyama jumped up from where he lay, kneeling on the couch. Hinata was standing behind the couch, arms crossed and looking furious. Kageyama rubbed his eyes and said the first thing that came to mind.

            “You’re back,” Kageyama said dumbly, in disbelief. Hinata huffed unsmilingly, shaking his head. Kageyama looked down now that he was more awake. He was knelt between Oikawa’s legs who was still fast asleep under him. There were a variety of beer bottles all over the floor in various stages of emptiness with the DVD menu from the movie they watched still playing on the TV. Their pants and sweaters were tossed on the floor from when they got too drunk and uncomfortable for being fully dressed. Kageyama realized that they had fallen asleep together during the course of the movie, after they drank their way through half the case of beer.

            _Oh shit. I...I know how this looks and he_ _’_ _s going to take this the wrong way._

            “Yeah, I’m back,” Hinata said coldly.

            “I know what this looks like,” Kageyama said carefully, stepping off the couch- painfully aware that he was only in a T-shirt and boxers.

            “You couldn’t even wait to actually break up with me,” Hinata said, throwing his hands in the air taking a step back. “Unless that booty-call line you gave me was your way of telling me we were through.”

            “No, no, Shouyou that’s not-” Kageyama said, walking around to where Hinata was standing. Hinata took a big step back from him when he walked closer. “I’m not, that’s not-” Hinata’s eyes quickly filled with tears as he took another step back. He started breathing heavily, clutching his chest with his hand.

            “Oh god,” Hinata sobbed. “Oh god this is so much worse than just suspecting.” He started hyperventilating. Kageyama just watched in horror as Hinata ran into the kitchen and leaned on the counter, trying to breathe. “I didn’t want to think you’d actually- but I was wrong. How could I have been so stupid?”

            “You’re not stupid,” Kageyama said in a panic.

            “Shut the fuck up!” Hinata yelled at him. “You- you said you weren’t sleeping with him.” Hinata stared down at the counter, still crying.

            “I’m-not, we’re not, I told you the truth,” Kageyama stuttered, his hands shaking as he took a step closer to Hinata.

            “Get away from me,” Hinata screamed stepping away from Kageyama. Tears were streaming down his face.

            “Shouyou, please just listen to me,” Kageyama said, panicking. “Please just, wait a second.” He could feel the tears forming behind his eyes but he couldn’t cry; not yet.     

            “I’m going to go,” Hinata said wiping his face and getting up. He pushed past Kageyama and walked out of the kitchen. Kageyama followed him out, shaking and on the verge of tears. Hinata walked through the hallway and into their bedroom pushing the door open with a hard shove. Kageyama quickly followed behind him, trembling hands trying to keep the door from swinging back at him. He watched, helplessly as Hinata started pulling clothes out and packing them into a bag.

            “Wh-what are you doing?” Kageyama stuttered.

            “What does it fucking look like I’m doing?” Hinata sniffled as he pulled clothes out of the drawer.

            “You’re leaving?” Kageyama asked, feeling like he was in a daze.  He walked over to the dresser where Hinata was rapidly pulling out clothes. “But you just came back.”

            “I can’t do this anymore,” Hinata whimpered, stuffing his clothes in a bag. “I can’t believe I fell for that shit,” Hinata said, burying his face in his hands. “I wanted it so bad that I let myself believe that I could have it.”

            “Shouyou please, just let me talk for a second,” Kageyama begged placing his hand on Hinata’s shoulder. Hinata rolled his shoulder knocking off Kageyama’s hand. “Shou please.”

            “You let me believe it,” Hinata cried. “You let me think I could- I wanted it so bad. But-but why would I ever think- god I’m so stupid.”

            “What are you- what are you talking about?” Kageyama asked, completely confused. “Shouyou please just talk to me,” Kageyama insisted, growing impatient. “I’m not sleeping with him. Please just don’t go, we can talk this through.”

            “I don’t want to talk,” Hinata said, trying to force his bag to close.

            “Hinata just stop, we need to really talk,” Kageyama said, raising his voice. He was growing more angry and exasperated by the second. “You can’t just leave again.”

            “I don’t have to listen to you,” Hinata said, finally getting his bag to zip closed.

            “For fuck’s sake Hinata listen to me!” Kageyama shouted. It was a spilt second impulse and before he knew it, Kageyama’s right hand collided with the mirror above the dresser sending it shattering into pieces. Taking shallow, laborious breaths, Kageyama glanced at Hinata who was starting at him in wide-eyed horror. Without another word to him, Hinata grabbed his bag and ran out of the bedroom. The sound of his blood pulsing in his ears was over shadowed slightly by Hinata telling Oikawa good luck with Kageyama, just before a slam of the front door. Kageyama just stood staring at the mirror shards all over the floor, watching his knuckles start to bleed.

            “Tobio,” Oikawa gasped behind him. Kageyama continued to stare at the floor. “Your hand, it’s bleeding.” Kageyama turned his head slightly and lifted his hand to stare at his knuckles. Blood was pouring down from four cuts on the back of his hand, dripping onto the floor beneath him. “Come,” Oikawa said, taking Kageyama’s other hand, “Let’s clean you up.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so i have a lot to say and i just hope that i remember everything. 
> 
> first, i am in awe and so overwhelmed, in the best way, at the responses I've gotten for this story. honestly i never expected anywhere near this level of people even liking it, let alone all the comments, kudos, and messages. i'm in shock and you guys are amazing so thank you very much, truly. 
> 
> secondly, in the same vein THERE'S MORE FANART!!!!!! honestly i'm posting this chapter like ten minutes after i saw the art this morning and i haven't stop screaming for the entirety of those ten minutes and i probably won't stop screaming until someone tells me to. [KAGEYAMA IS SO PERFECT AND THERE'S EVEN AIKO TOO AND I'M DEAD](http://ainu.tumblr.com/post/132594917703/hello-1st-of-all-i-seriously-love-your-hinatas) do you understand that i'm dead? fucking dead. Ainu has killed me once again, first with her Hinata and now with Kageyama and Aiko. i'm just not alive anymore. 
> 
> lastly, i know i'm starting to sound like a broken record but seriously i'm trying to answer all of your comments. I mean, i'm 10000% legit when i say i've read them all, and reread them, and maybe read them a third time. I'm answering them, slowly, but i'm doing it. Nick, my wonderful yet impatient beta, has been responding to a lot of the comments and i just want to say that a comment from him is definitely worth a comment from me. he knows the story and makes informed comments. but please keep commenting, i love reading them probably more than you guys like reading this story.
> 
> *warning* super mild, like super mild, discussion of BDSM. also there's angst but lol do i even need to warn you about it??

* * *

            “At least you don’t need stitches,” Oikawa said lightly as he dabbed a cotton ball soaked in a cleaning solution on the back of Kageyama’s hands. Kageyama didn’t react, but stared, unseeing off past Oikawa’s shoulder. He sat silently on the closed lid of the toilet while Oikawa sat on the rim of the tub, cleaning his wounds. “You’re lucky the shards of the mirror didn’t embed in your skin. Or when they shattered they could have gotten into your eye.” Oikawa tilted his head upward to see if he was receiving any sort of reaction from Kageyama, but he got nothing. Kageyama just continued staring past him, his eyes blurry and unfocused as Oikawa cleaned his knuckles. “Next time try punching a mattress? Or a pillow? Even the wall would have been better. Or you could have even-”

            “I became my dad,” Kageyama murmured quietly, shaking his head. Oikawa stopped talking immediately. “I tried... so hard not to be him... and I just realized that it didn’t matter how much I tried, he is a part of me that I can’t separate.”

            “Wha-what do you mean?” Oikawa asked softly.

            “He was a wreck, after my mom died,” Kageyama said still staring off blankly. “But I mean, so was I. He loved her, more than anything. I was only 8 when she suffocated in from of me. I had horrible, crippling bouts of nightmares; ones that had me gasping for air and screaming, waking up in soaked in cold sweat sometimes, even waking up crying. And it stressed him, and worried him. He was so... worried about me, and about how to be a single dad, and living with out my mom. But mostly me...mostly me.” Oikawa just watched silently as Kageyama spoke. “I made life difficult, too. I got in trouble in school, I acted out, I didn’t do my schoolwork. I over-stressed him. And he just became... aggressive. That’s my fault. He’d break things and yell and scream and I knew that everything he’d become was because of me. I caused the stress and worry that got him to that point. He spent most of my late childhood and teenage years constantly tired and sick and stressed and bitter until... he died. Passed away in his sleep. An aneurysm in his brain. Doctors said it was stress induced. I was 19. And I had worried him to death.” Kageyama eyes were focused on a fixed point behind Oikawa’s head but he wasn’t really seeing anything. “I tried everything not to be like him. But it just occurred to me, as my fist was connecting to that mirror, that I already was him; broken, alone and tired, so very tired.”

            “You’re not broken,” Oikawa said putting his hand on Kageyama’s cheek and forcing Kageyama to look at him.

            “But I am,” Kageyama laughed humorlessly. “Listen to me; I’m sob stories and daddy issues.”

            “Everyone has issues,” Oikawa said looking into Kageyama’s eyes. “You can’t project all of your past issues on present situations. Things get fixed.”

            “He thinks I’m cheating on him with you,” Kageyama said looking into Oikawa’s eyes. “He’s thought that for a while now apparently. That’s what the argument was about. That and I think- thought, he was cheating on me.”

            “Thought?”

            “Yeah, I don’t think that anymore,” Kageyama said shaking his head. “I think he was just a scared asshole who handled his feelings of insecurity the absolute wrong way.” Kageyama let out a small chuckle. “Come to think of it, so was I.”

            “Well, you should explain that to him,” Oikawa said putting his hands in his lap. “And you should tell him there’s...there’s nothing between us. You and me.”

            “I will,” Kageyama said nodding. “I don’t know why he thought there would be, I mean I don’t feel romantic inclinations towards you.” Oikawa looked away biting his lower lip. “And we’re just friends. Right?”

            “Yeah,” Oikawa said giving him a half-hearted smile. “Just friends.” Kageyama didn’t seem convinced.

            “Oikawa...” Kageyama began carefully, tilting his head to try to get in his line of sight.

            “I...I wasn’t going to say anything,” Oikawa whispered quietly, not even looking anywhere near him. Kageyama felt his blood rush in his ears and his heart began beating out of his chest.

            “You weren’t going to say anything about what?” Kageyama asked suspecting he knew exactly what Oikawa was talking about. Oikawa gave him a pleading look.

            “Don’t...don’t pretend you don’t know,” Oikawa pleaded. He looked searchingly in Kageyama’s eyes. “You know right?”

            “I had... an inkling,” Kageyama muttered. Oikawa sighed and looked away. “But I thought maybe I was wrong and I was just bad at signals- which I am.”

            “No, you’re not bad at signals,” Oikawa said. “Ok well maybe in general, but not these signals,” he amended. Kageyama gave him a soft, easy smile.

            “I’m sorry,” Kageyama said quietly. “I never meant to lead you on or anything.”

            “Oh gosh, you didn’t lead me on Tobio,” Oikawa huffed lightly. “I’m a grown ass man, I fell in love with you of my own accord.” Kageyama wasn’t sure how to respond now that it was out in the open.

            “Yo-you know, I...I can’t right?” Kageyama struggled. “I still... I’m still...”

            “I know,” Oikawa said softly.

            “Maybe if we had met a few months earlier,” Kageyama said trying to joke lightly. “I probably would have-”

            “Still gone after Hinata,” Oikawa smiled kindly. “Look I’m not asking you for a ‘what could have been’, I’m just... telling you... about how I feel. Towards you- about you. I’m in love with you. And I should have known better than falling for an unavailable guy, but hey- it’s better than falling for a straight guy, am I right?” Kageyama laughed softly, nodding his head. “And I don’t want to give you biased advice here because of my feelings for you, but... if Hinata doesn’t want to believe you or hear you out... fuck him.” Kageyama chuckled, shaking his head at Oikawa. “No I’m, serious,” Oikawa smiled at him. “There are a ton of guys out there that would kill to be in Hinata’s place in your life. Take it from me.”

            “I think your advice is a little more biased than you intended,” Kageyama smirked up at Oikawa.

            “Yeah well,” Oikawa said shrugging. “I was never one for clear ethical lines anyway.”

            “Thanks,” Kageyama exhaled. “You’re obnoxious... but you’re a good guy.”

            “I’ll take it,” Oikawa nodded appreciatively. “Come on, let’s go clean up the glass.”

* * *

 

            “So what you’re saying is you’re not actually into the whole ‘pain equals pleasure’ thing?” Tanaka asked a very amused looking Kuroo. Kageyama just sat at his drawing table trying to ignore the two guys crowding his doorway.

            “Not really no,” Kuroo answered shaking his head. “Well, not like _pain_ pain anyway. I mean, I like some pain, but I don’t like being seriously injured.”

            “Really?” Tanka said surprised. “You seem like the kind of guy who’s into all that ‘oh yeah make me bleed’ kind of stuff.”

            “Thanks,” Kuroo smirked smugly. “I’m glad I give off that kind of vibe.” Kageyama rolled his eyes from his desk. His fingers tightened around his pencil, which was made difficult by the bandage wrapped around his hand.

            “What about me?” Tanaka asked, nudging Kuroo. “What kind of vibe do I give off?”

            “You seem kind of vanilla to me actually,” Kuroo contemplated. Tanaka shot him an offended glare. “I mean there’s nothing wrong with being vanilla.”

            “Vanilla!” Tanaka cried. “I’m not vanilla!” Kuroo laughed slapping Tanaka’s shoulder, while he looked at him insulted. “I’m into...stuff you know. Kinky stuff. Kageyama, I told you about some of stuff I’ve done. Tell Kuroo that I’m kinky, and not vanilla.”

            “Don’t involve me,” Kageyama mumbled as he focused on his drawing.

            “What? Don’t involve you?” Tanaka huffed. “We started this whole conversation because of you.”

            “No, this whole conversation started because you two can’t mind your own business and insist on bothering me and coming up with wild theories,” Kageyama said trying to maintain focus on his design.

            “Well if you would tell us how you hurt your hand we wouldn’t have to come up with wild theories,” Tanaka replied making it seem like it was Kageyama’s fault.

            “My vote is still something sexual,” Kuroo said to Tanaka loudly so Kageyama could hear him. “Probably like whipping or flogging gone wrong. Or maybe wax play- Oh or fire play.”

            “What the fuck is any of that?” Tanaka asked confused.

            “See what I mean,” Kuroo said smugly. “Vanilla.”

            “I’m not vanilla!” Tanaka huffed, his face growing red. Kageyama just shook his head and tried his best to ignore them. “I do kinky stuff you know. I’m into things.”

            “I bet you think fucking doggy style is super kinky,” Kuroo teased smirking at him. Tanaka seemed to falter.

            “N-no, I’m more... is it not?” he asked unsure. Kuroo just laughed at him while Tanaka tried to look at Kageyama for assistance.

            “You’re so vanilla,” Kuroo laughed. “There are suburban mom’s who’ve read 50 Shades of Gray that are kinkier than you.”

            “Tha-that’s not true,” Tanaka said unsurely. “My girlfriend is just not into that kind of stuff. She’s a classy lady. She’s a kindergarten teacher. She’s sweet you know, innocent.”

            “Or maybe she just knows that she’s dating an ignorant vanilla baby,” Kuroo goaded.

            “Kageyama do you know what he’s talking about?” Tanaka asked pointing to a smirking Kuroo. “With all that flogging and wax play shit?”

            “Yup,” Kageyama hummed not looking up from his drawing. Tanaka looked at him incredulously.

            “How do you even have time to have kinky sex? You have a child! Aren’t you loud?” Tanaka questioned bewilderedly.    

            “Kageyama strikes me as a noisy submissive bottom,” Kuroo commented thoughtfully.

            “Bottom?” Tanaka asked.

            “I’m not a sub bottom,” Kageyama said annoyed, reacting properly for the first time in their conversation. Kuroo just raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “...I’m a switch,” Kageyama added looking back down at his drawing.

            “I see it,” Kuroo said approvingly.

            “Yeah... I’m a switch too you know,” Tanaka said with a false bravado. “I’ve always been a switch. I’m always...switching, you know? The kinkiest switch that ever switched.”

            “You have no idea what a switch is do you?” Kuroo said knowingly.

            “Not a clue,” Tanaka admitted. “But is that how you hurt your hand Kageyama? From switching?” Kuroo just shook his head, laughing at Tanaka.

            “Um, no,” Kageyama said gripping the pencil tighter as he drew. “I fell and smashed my hand into glass. It’s just a bunch of small cuts. Now will you leave me to work in peace?” he turned to give them both a pointed glare. Lifting their hands in surrender they both walked out of the room, muttering to each other about how they still think it was a sexually related injury. Kageyama sighed as they left the room.

            He had been felt better last night when he was just hanging out with Oikawa, but that morning with Hinata... it felt like one step forward and ten leaps back. Kageyama had come in to work trying to come up with a plan to go see Hinata. He knew he had to apologize for loosing his temper like that. That wasn’t the way he wanted Hinata to think of him; angry, aggressive, and yelling. Sitting back in his chair, Kageyama pulled his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled to Hinata’s name, hesitating over the contact name. He glanced over and saw his door was open so he quickly got up and locked it, shoving a chair under the handle to prevent it from being opened. Settling himself on the tattooing table, he pressed the call button and brought the phone up to his ear and held his breath.

            One ring. Two rings. Three rings, then four, then five then voicemail. Disappointed, but unsurprised, Kageyama lowered the phone. Squaring his shoulders he called again, only to have it go to voicemail again. He called again, and again, again until the phone would go straight to voicemail and not ring once.

            _That means he’s rejecting my phone calls. He sees me calling him, and is deliberately not answering. Maybe I should just go over to the bakery. I don’t want to make a scene but I really need to talk to him. I can’t let him brood over something that isn’t true. And Aiko misses him. He can’t just leave her like that. If he doesn’t want to be with me anymore that’s fine, but he can’t leave Aiko without any explanation._

Settled in his resolve, Kageyama checked the time. 1:40pm. Kageyama stood up and removed the chair from the door. Walking to the front door, he grabbed his jacket from the coat rack, letting Iwaizumi sitting behind the front desk that he was leaving. With a deep breath, Kageyama started walking to SunFlour.

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of you guys are going to _love_ this chapter, and some of you are going to **hate** it. but this was always coming, no pun intended. 
> 
> *warning* explicit sexual situations

* * *

            There was a guy behind the counter that Kageyama didn’t recognize. He was not as tall as Lev, who was noticeably absent. The guy had a serious, concentrated face with stark white-blond hair and no discernable eyebrows. Kageyama was startled by his severe expression, and almost forgot why he’d come in.

            “Uh, um, hello?” Kageyama asked, walking over to the counter. The guy just stared at him unsmiling. “Where’s Hinata?”

            “He told me you might come in to talk to him,” Daichi said from the side, startling Kageyama who hadn’t seen him there. “And he also told me, to tell you, that he didn’t want to speak with you.” Daichi crossed his arms and stared at Kageyama with an unwavering seriousness. Kageyama sighed, his whole body sagging.

            “Please, I just need to talk to him for a few minutes,” Kageyama pleaded. “I tried calling a bunch of times and he wouldn’t answer.”

            “Oh yeah, he also says to tell you to stop calling him,” Daichi added.

            “Just five minutes, please,” Kageyama begged. “If not for me, for Aiko. I just need something I can tell her. She’s worried too.” Kageyama looked pleadingly at Daichi, hoping that he convinced him of his sincerity. Kageyama heard several noises coming from behind the double doors and turned his head right as they swung open.

            “Oh for god sakes, fine! Five minutes,” Hinata shouted, gesturing for Kageyama to follow him as he turned back through the doors. Following quickly behind, Kageyama walked through the double doors and stopped a few feet away from where Hinata stood leaning against the prep table.

            _He looks like he_ _’_ _s been crying. He_ _’_ _s eyes are all red and slightly swollen. I made him cry and I don_ _’_ _t know if I can make this better._

“Where’s Lev?” Kageyama asked causally, like he hadn’t just been begging to speak with Hinata moments ago.

            “He left for college. His semester starts late,” Hinata said shortly, crossing his arms.

            “Is that big scary looking guy his replacement?” Kageyama asked lightly.

            “For the time being yes,” Hinata said curtly. “Aone. Lev recommended him.”

            “Oh ok,” Kageyama mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. “I guess I kind of forg-”

            “Is this really what you want to spend your time talking about?” Hinata interrupted, annoyed. Kageyama felt flustered from his sudden outburst.

            “N-no,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to talk to you about this morning.” Hinata sighed, and pursued his lips.

            “So talk,” Hinata pressed.

            “I... first want to apologi-”

            “Please I’m not in the mood for your half-hearted apologies or your begging or your excuses,” Hinata said, putting a hand up to cut him off.

            “But you don’t understand,” Kageyama began,  taking a small step closer to Hinata. “I’m not cheating on you or anything like that. I never was, nor had I ever even thought about it.”

            “You do realize that’s kind of hard to believe based on the position I found you in this morning right?” Hinata explained, annoyed. “Kageyama, I walked into the apartment to find you fast asleep and comfortable, laying completely on top of him. Both of you, in your underwear, with beer bottles and clothes strewn all around the living room. Cuddled up together like it was second nature. Now tell me what that looks like to you.”

            “I understand what it looked like, but I’m trying to tell you what it was,” Kageyama insisted, growing impatient.

            “And you know what?” Hinata said, laughing humorlessly. “Now the whole 'if there was anyone else'  conversation makes so much  sense now.” Kageyama just stared at him, hurt contorting his features. “You were just priming me up for this, weren’t you? So I’d expect it.”

            “Priming you up? You were the one who said we needed to talk!” Kageyama exclaimed. He could see the tears start to form in Hinata’s eyes. “You were the one who  left for the whole weekend without a word! You were the one who packed up this morning! Not me! I wasn’t priming you up to break up with you! If anything I was giving you an out! Letting you know that I loved you enough to let you go if you felt like you needed to leave.”

            “I never asked for a way out!” Hinata shouted back, a hot angry tear escaping down the side of his face. “You were pushing me out! You were pushing me away. Pushing me away just like you’ve been doing all along.”

            “I haven’t pushed you away!” Kageyama yelled back. “I love you, don’t you get what that means? What that means to me? How hard it is for me to say that?” Hinata stared up defiantly at him.

            “No, obviously I don’t,” Hinata stated quietly. “But please, tell me how hard it is for you? Please tell me about how difficult it is to try to get someone to open up to you, to have them shut you out at every turn. How hard it is to watch the person you care about most go towards someone else. How hard it is to have everything you’ve ever wanted kept at arms length from you.”

            “Hinata, I don’t underst-” Kageyama began, confused.

            “Look,” Hinata said cutting him off. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I took enough clothes for the week. I’m not coming back, for at least a week. After a week...  we’ll talk. You came here asking for what you could tell Aiko right?” Kageyama nodded. “Well tell her...” Hinata looked away, placing his hands on his hips as he took a deep breath. “You can tell her that I’m sorry. That I never meant to hurt her. That I’m going to miss her. And that I love her with all my heart.” Kageyama could barely see Hinata standing in front of him through the tears in his eyes.

            “Why don’t you tell her all of that yourself?” Kageyama whispered throatily. Hinata let out a sound that was something between a sob and a laugh.

            “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Hinata choked out, throwing his head back.

            “So that’s it?” Kageyama asked quietly. “Me and Aiko walk in one day and all your stuff's gone? That’s what I have to look forward to?”

            “I understa-”

            “No you don’t,” Kageyama said firmly. “I have to go home today and explain to my 4-year old daughter, why the man she considers her to be her second dad, isn’t ever coming back home.” Hinata just looked at him through his tears. “You don’t understand at all. You don’t understand what it means to be a parent, not really. Real parenting comes with tough decisions and choices. It comes with moments like this. It not about leaving without any word of where you are or what you’re doing, so your child sits at home wondering where you are. That’s not being a parent, Shouyou. You were only playing the role. And now, you don’t even want to face the consequences of your own choices.”

            “Why are you trying to make this more difficult for me?” Hinata asked, shaking his head, his tears falling freely down his face.

            “You’re selfish,” Kageyama bit out angrily. “Your selfishness and unwillingness to listen is what ruined this in the end. Not anything else but that. And I was too blinded by my love for you that I couldn’t see it. But that’s all I can see now. A selfish, manipulative, lonely jerk that bails when things get too hard.” Letting his words ring in the air for a moment, Kageyama turned from Hinata and began to walk towards the double doors. “Don’t blame me if your antics now ruin any future possibilities.” And with that final statement, Kageyama walked out of the bakery.

            It was only a short walk to his car, but in that short walk Kageyama broke down. Wrenching his car door open, Kageyama threw himself in the front seat, slamming the door behind him. Almost instantly tears shot from his eyes as he let out a wrecked sob that came from deep inside him. Banging his hand on the steering wheel, Kageyama just cried; tears running messily down his face, breathing erratically. He tried to turn the car on to turn on the radio but after several unsuccessful attempts, he removed his shaky hands from the wheel and sat them in his lap. Taking deep, calming breaths, Kageyama slowly began to stop crying long enough for him to coax his car to turn on.  After many frustrated attempts to start the car, Kageyama finally heard the revving of the engine.   

            Before he even thought about it, Kageyama was driving. He didn’t even realize where he had brought himself until he was forcibly turning off the ignition and slamming the door behind him. Kageyama had only been there once before and yet he felt his body taking him into the building and up the elevator without his mind having to direct him. Almost in a focused haze, Kageyama found himself knocking heavily on Oikawa’s apartment door.

            “Um what the- Oh Tobio,” Oikawa said when he recognized the tall, brooding figure. “Why are you-” he began to say, but was effectively cut off by Kageyama pressing their lips together. With a force and determination Kageyama didn’t know he possessed, he brought his hand up on either side of Oikawa’s cheeks and held their faces together. Biting and licking his way into Oikawa mouth, Kageyama pushed his body up against Oikawa’s until they hit a wall. Oikawa stumbled back, but his hands found Kageyama’s hips as he began to kiss back. Roughly grinding against him, Kageyama rolled his hips toward Oikawa’s groin as his dug his fingers into his hair. Pulling away to breathe, Oikawa separated them with a wet, smacking noise, gasping for air.

            “Wait, wait. What are you do-doing?” Oikawa panted heavily as Kageyama moved his mouth down to suck a bruise on Oikawa’s neck. “What about Hinata? This is isn’t- it’s not a good idea. We can’t- you know that I’m-” Kageyama cut him off again with a bruising kiss, sliding his hand down to rub at Oikawa through his pants.

            “Just shut the fuck up and fuck me,” Kageyama growled. Oikawa let out a breathy huff of air that was a combination of an exhale and a humorless laugh. He closed the distance between them, this time biting back with as much force and passion as Kageyama was giving him. Fisting his hands in Kageyama’s jacket, he started pulling him and moving them backwards toward his bedroom. Kageyama followed, not separating them as they shed their clothes with each step.

            Tumbling almost completely nude onto Oikawa bed, Kageyama pushed Oikawa upward on the mattress pulling off his briefs as he moved.  Moving predatorily toward him, Kageyama came to hover over Oikawa, trapping him beneath him, between his arms as he greedily took another forceful kiss. Arching his back, Oikawa moaned around Kageyama’s tongue that was mapping his mouth. Kageyama lowered his hips so that they could line their cocks together, gasping at the friction between them. Rolling his hips slowly, Kageyama brought one hand to Oikawa’s chest rubbing his nipples.

           “Do-do you want me to fuck you?” Oikawa whispered into Kageyama’s mouth. Kageyama nodded and rolled off from on top of Oikawa and lay down on the bed next to him. Oikawa reached over and fumbled in his bedside table drawer for a few seconds before pulling out what he wanted and slamming the drawer shut. He turned towards Kageyama who was watching him with his legs spread and head tossed back. “Lube and a condom,” Oikawa said holding up the objects in his hand. He kneeled his way over to between Kageyama’s legs placing the objects on the bed next to him. He poured the lube on his fingers, warming it up before he circled Kageyama’s entrance. Exhaling, Kageyama relaxed around Oikawa’s finger as he eased into Kageyama.

           “More,” Kageyama breathed, rolling his hips. Oikawa poured more lube on his entrance and slowly inserted another finger. “Come on, go faster,” Kageyama moaned.

           “Ok well, when you’ve seen a prolapsed rectum you then tend to be a bit more gentle in this area,” Oikawa said, ignoring Kageyama’s request for speed. “Slow is good too,” he slowly scissored his fingers inside Kageyama as he kissed his navel. Kageyama moaned underneath him as he found his prostate.

           “Slow is too slow,” Kageyama whimpered as Oikawa rubbed his prostate. Oikawa just smirked into Kageyama’s skin, as he placed gentle kisses along his abdomen. By the time he worked in three fingers Kageyama was a panting mess and Oikawa could barely contain himself.

           “How do you want to do this?” Oikawa asked rolling the condom on and applying the lube liberally.

           “I want you to fuck me as hard as you can,” Kageyama said sprawling out on the bed. “So however you think is best.”

           “O-oh ok,” Oikawa stuttered slightly surprised by Kageyama wish. “Um, right ok then,” he looked down at where Kageyama’s legs were spread open, “stay right here then.” He grabbed a pillow from the bed and lifted Kageyama’s hips to place it underneath. Oikawa then grabbed the lube and poured more on his entrance. He gently adjusted himself so he was kneeling as close as possible to Kageyama.

           “If this is rough to you, I couldn’t imagine you gentle,” Kageyama said sarcastically startling Oikawa from his concentration.

           “I-I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to hurt you,” Oikawa rushed out embarrassed. “I can be rough, I’m just starting out gentle.” Hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to, Oikawa bent over and placed his lips on Kageyama’s. Moving slowly, Kageyama reacted, kissing back with the same hesitant wanting that Oikawa used. After a few moments Oikawa pulled away with one last kiss to Kageyama’s mouth. He lined himself up with Kageyama’s entrance, slowly working his way in inch-by-inch, giving Kageyama time to adjust after every movement.

           “Fuck,” Kageyama winced quietly after a particularly painful shove. Oikawa stopped immediately.

           “See? And you wanted me to go hard from the get go,” Oikawa said kissing Kageyama’s chest. “You should listen to your doctor.”

           “My doctor’s a dick,” Kageyama said, taking a deep breath. Oikawa just laughed against his skin, as he continued to kiss down his chest. “Ok, move now, please.”

           “Alright, but I’m going slow,” Oikawa said, resuming his movement of pressing his way in. After a few minutes of slightly uncomfortable adjusting, he was completely inside Kageyama. “Are you ok?”

           “Yeah, I’m fine,” Kageyama said, moving his hips experimentally.  “I haven’t bottomed in a while, it’s always weird.”

           “We can switch if you want,” Oikawa said, brushing the hair off of Kageyama’s face. “I don’t mind bottoming.” Kageyama shook his head.

           “No, I want this, I want you,” Kageyama said, moving his arms to encircle Oikawa’s arms so he could rest his hands on his shoulders. He pulled him down slightly so he could connect their lips. “Please just fuck me, please.” Oikawa nodded briefly before starting to move his hips, thrusting gently in and out of Kageyama. He moved his hands to grab onto Kageyama’s waist, holding on and using him as leverage to move. With every thrust, he became surer and faster.

           “Do you actually want me to be rough with you?” Oikawa asked, panting as he continuously moved in and out of Kageyama.

           “Yes, for fuck sake, be fucking rough with me,” Kageyama gasped desperately.

           “Do you mean it?” Oikawa asked, still unsure. “Like you actually want me to be rough with you or are you just saying that? Cause I don’t want to hurt you.”

           “Oikawa, if you don’t start doing something right now, I swear to god I’m goi-” but Kageyama didn’t get to finish his sentence. Oikawa grabbed both of Kageyama’s hands and pinned them above his head. Holding them down with one large hand, he brought his other down to Kageyama’s left leg and lifted it so the knee was resting on his shoulder. In the new position, Oikawa was able to get in deeper and rubbed himself against Kageyama’s prostate with every thrust.  Crying out, Kageyama rocked his hips upward, trying to meet Oikawa with each movement.

           “Hmm, doesn’t seem to be enough for me,” Oikawa said teasingly, pulling out suddenly from Kageyama, dropping his leg on the bed with a thud. He got up off the bed and went into his drawer, pulling out a tie. Kageyama watched him with bated breath, as Oikawa walked back over, grabbed his wrists and bound them together. “Better,” Oikawa said bending down and kissing Kageyama lightly. The tie was silky and smooth on his wrists and wasn’t actually all that tight, but Kageyama appreciated the feeling. Oikawa crawled back onto the bed and situated himself between Kageyama’s thighs again, spreading them out with his hands. “If you need to stop at any time, you tell me, ok?” Oikawa said, looking Kageyama directly in the eye.

            “I got it,” Kageyama said, nodding. Oikawa reinserted himself back into Kageyama, a lot less gentle this time. With his now two free hands, he grabbed onto Kageyama’s calves and pushed Kageyama’s legs closer to his body, giving himself more room to maneuver. Kageyama let out a loud, breathy gasp at the depth to which Oikawa had now achieved inside him.

            “Rough, right?” Oikawa clarified, one last time.  Kageyama rolled his eyes. “I just want to make sure. And you can tell me to stop at any point.” Kageyama looked at him annoyed, moving his hips to indicate his impatience. “Okay, you asked for it.” Oikawa took no time in building up to a fast pace, but instead started out instantly with a brutal pace. Kageyama gasped in the shock of such a violent change. Oikawa pushed into him with so much force, the bed began shaking in earnest. He gripped Kageyama’s legs so tightly, that his nails began to dig into Kageyama’s skin, causing a pleasant stinging pain. The strain of Kageyama’s legs stretched so extremely resulted in a wonderfully dull burn in his muscles. The loss of mobility in his hands that were tied and flung above his head added to his helpless satisfaction. In fact, this level brutal, painful fucking was exactly what Kageyama was hoping for when he arrived at Oikawa’s door.

            “Finally, yes,” Kageyama breathed as Oikawa quickened his pace. “Please, please mo-more,” Kageyama whimpered, rolling his hips upward. He lifted his arms and wrapped his tied wrists and looped them around Oikawa’s neck pulling him down. Oikawa released Kageyama’s legs and wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s back pulling him upward. Kageyama sat up, wrapping his legs around Oikawa’s waist, and settled on Oikawa’s lap as Oikawa grasped his shoulders. Oikawa raked and dug his nails down Kageyama’s back, making bright red trails on his skin. Grinding down, Kageyama pushed himself down on Oikawa as he thrust up into him. Oikawa bit down on Kageyama’s collarbone, creating a livid, red mark. Kageyama tightened his thighs’ grip around Oikawa’ waist, crossing his ankles. They brought their mouths together, panting heavily and sharing fleeting needy kisses as they grinded together.

            “I’m going to untie you,” Oikawa whispered into Kageyama’s mouth. He nodded, breathing heavily, sliding backward and off Oikawa’s dick. Oikawa lifted Kageyama’s hands over his head and pulled at the tie and it unraveled into his hands. Kageyama rolled his freed wrists, settling them on Oikawa’s shoulders, settling himself back onto Oikawa’s dick. “Come on lets get a bit rougher.”

            “Fucking please do,” Kageyama moaned, undulating his hips. Oikawa smirked, and pushed Kageyama down on the bed again, pulling himself out of him. With a groan from the loss of Oikawa inside him, Kageyama fell back onto the bed and was flipped over onto his stomach. Oikawa moved backwards on the bed so he was standing on the floor. He leaned over and grabbed Kageyama’s ankles and pulled him lower on the bed so that his legs came over the edge and his feet touched the floor. With one swift aggressive movement, Oikawa lifted Kageyama’s hips and sunk into him completely. “Oh fuck,” Kageyama moaned as Oikawa violently fucked into him. Kageyama dug his hands into the sheets and his toes curled into  the carpet . His dick rubbed extraordinarily on the sheets beneath him.

            “Come on, Kageyama, is this rough enough for you?” Oikawa panted. Kageyama arched his back as he mumbled and whimpered while Oikawa violently thrust in him. “I can’t hear you, I asked you something,” Oikawa said, punctuating his words with particularly brutal thrusts. 

            “No,” Kageyama gasped, pulling at the sheets.

            “You want it rougher?” Oikawa asked, bending over and mouthing at his back. Kageyama nodded slightly, mumbling yes. “You want me to be aggressive with you? I can be mean. You want me to be mean, right?” Kageyama didn’t answer; he could only make breathy, gasping sounds. He felt a sudden sting on his ass from Oikawa giving him a hard slap. “I said, you want me to be mean, _right_?” Oikawa asked, with extra emphasis on the word 'right'. Kageyama could barely catch his breath before the next slap.

            “Yes,” Kageyama breathed. “ _Please_.”

            “Excellent,” Oikawa grinned,  giving Kageyama’s back a final kiss before standing up. Grabbing a fist full of his hair, Oikawa lifted Kageyama’s head off the bed. “This is the last time I’m going ask you questions, understand?” Kageyama nodded as best he could with his neck bent back. “Good, hand me that tie.” Kageyama scrambled to move his hand and grabbed the tie from the bed and handed it to Oikawa. “Good boy,” Oikawa smirked, releasing Kageyama’s head, letting it fall heavily onto the bed. He took the tie and wrapped it around Kageyama’s mouth. “Look at that, no more talking for you.” Kageyama hummed around the cloth, spit dripping down the side of his mouth.

            “You look so pretty with your mouth shut like that,” Oikawa cooed, thrusting slowly into Kageyama. “All helpless and quiet. You’re at my mercy now.” Oikawa moved excruciatingly slowly in and out of Kageyama. He whimpered underneath Oikawa, his hands fisting in the sheets. “I think you have too much freedom,” Oikawa said moving his hands from Kageyama’s hips. Placing a pillow under Kageyama to keep him at the right height, he grabbed both of Kageyama’s wrists and held them upward and behind Kageyama’s back. He started up a fast pace again, holding Kageyama’s arms tightly behind him. With this new position, Kageyama felt completely vulnerable and defenseless and he relished every second of it. Oikawa fucked into to him brutally and without pause, and it was everything Kageyama needed. 

            “Oh fuck,” Oikawa moaned, thrusting rapidly into Kageyama. “I’m go-going to come. I’m- I’m coming,” Oikawa panted. With an erratic series of thrusts, Oikawa came with a groan. Milking himself through his orgasm, Oikawa came to a stop; releasing Kageyama’s arms letting them fall heavily onto the bed, and eased himself out. Distantly, Kageyama could hear him removing the condom and throwing it away. Catching his breath, Oikawa bent over Kageyama’s back, kissing at the skin moving his hands up to his mouth so he could untie the tie. Removing the tie from his mouth, Kageyama exhaled trying to regain his breath. “Did you finish?” Oikawa asked gently, kissing up Kageyama’s back to his neck.

            “Y-yes,” Kageyama said, his voice hoarse.

            “Oh, ok, good,” Oikawa said, giving his neck one final kiss. “Let me clean you up.” Oikawa got up and walked away out of the bedroom. Kageyama lay, still sprawled out on the bed, the feeling of cooling come between him and the sheets. The euphoria of coming was slowly fading as he thought about the effects of his actions. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kagehina is endgame guys like i know i'm going to get a ton of comments like "BUT MY BABIES????" like i promise it's endgame ok? trust me
> 
> but for the time being, enjoy the Oikage. i fucking love Oikage.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so last chapter killed people, which was the plan. although some of you expressed concern about the possibility of Kagehina still being a reasonable endgame, and to those i have to say: oh ye of little faith, trust in me as you once did.
> 
> i'm slowly answering the comments again, but i'm just going to have to come to terms with the fact that there is going to be a chunk of comments without response a few chapters ago. too much has happened in the story for me to make any sense now. plus i've had like a shit ton of school work to do, but i'm going to try to keep up with the comment as of right now. though my beta has been doing an excellent job of answering comments too. i'm going to try, but we shall see. i do read them all though, i promise. 
> 
> ok enough of that, on to the pain. and this...will be painful

* * *

            “You know we can’t do this again, right?” Kageyama turned his head to Oikawa, who was staring at him. Kageyama wasn’t expecting Oikawa to say that, especially since his confession that morning, and was slightly taken aback by it. “This is a one time only, kind of thing,” Oikawa added, pulling his arm tighter around Kageyama.

            “Wh-why?” Kageyama said, twisting around on the bed to better face Oikawa. They lay side-by-side, facing each other on Oikawa’s bed, Kageyama tucked comfortably into Oikawa’s side, who had his arm draped securely around him. Their legs were tangled together under the sheets, still sore from their activities.

            “Because we both know what this was,” Oikawa whispered as they made eye contact. “You and I both know that this,” he gestured between them, “isn’t really what you want.”

            “You don’t know that,” Kageyama argued, moving his arm to spread his hand on Oikawa’s chest.

            “But I do,” Oikawa smiled. Kageyama sighed and looked away. “If it’s any reconciliation, it’s not what I want either.” Kageyama looked up at him, confused. “I mean, I want you, I have for a while. But I don’t want to be your...rebound.”

            “You’re not my rebound,” Kageyama disagreed, knowing full well it was probably the truth.

            “It’s ok,” Oikawa said, pushing the hair back from Kageyama’s face. “I’m glad I got this out of my system. I have to be honest, I mean I’m an adult and I can control myself, but last night when you fell asleep on top of me I thought I was going to die.” Kageyama just blushed and rolled his eyes at him.

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things hard for you,” Kageyama said, rubbing his hand on Oikawa’s chest.

            “Oh you made things hard alright,” Oikawa smirked, pressing closer to Kageyama, who flushed brilliantly.

            “Oh my god, shut up,” Kageyama said, burrying his face into Oikawa’s chest. He could feel Oikawa’s chest shake as he chuckled. 

            “Sorry, I had to,” Oikawa said, running his hands down Kageyama’s back. His fingers drew small patterns on Kageyama’s back, while they just lay together, breathing quietly. “This is turning out to be more difficult than I imagined.” Kageyama tilted his head up to look up at Oikawa, confused.

            “What’s more difficult?” Kageyama asked, bringing his hand up to rest his chin on it, atop Oikawa’s chest.

            “Trying to come up with a reason to kick you out of bed,” Oikawa said softly. “So far I’ve got nothing.” Kageyama gave him a small smile, then rested his head back directly on Oikawa’s chest. “I... I don’t want to say it again... but because of the way that I feel about you... I don’t think this should happen again.” Kageyama tightened his grip on Oikawa, all the muscles in his body tensed. “I just need to protect myself you know? If... by any chance we...happen to become something other than friends, much, _much_ later, then we’ll revisit, you know, sex. But not now. Not now when I know that you’re in love with Hinata and you’re only here because you can’t have him.” Kageyama felt tears involuntarily escape down his face and onto Oikawa’s chest. “I care about you, but I also need to care about me. I hope you understand that.” Kageyama sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he nodded his head. “Good,” Oikawa whispered, kissing Kageyama’s forehead softly.

            “What time is it?” Kageyama asked, trying to sound like he hadn’t just been crying.

            “Um it’s,” Oikawa pulled his arm from around Kageyama and grabbed his phone from the night table, “it’s 2:47pm.”

            “Crap, I need to go pick up Aiko from school,” Kageyama sighed, rolling off Oikawa and on to his back.

            “Want to take a shower with me?” Oikawa asked, nudging his side with his elbow.

            “Didn’t you just give me this whole speech about how ‘this is all a bad idea’ and that ‘we shouldn’t have anymore sex cause it’s bad for your feelings’ and stuff?” Kageyama asked incredulously, turning his head to look at Oikawa.

            “Eh, we’re already here, we’re already naked, and we both need a shower,” Oikawa shrugged. “In for a penny, you know?” Kageyama just grunted dubiously. “Come on, this will be our absolute last time,” Oikawa said seductively, crawling off the bed. After a moment of watching Oikawa’s nude form cross and exit the bedroom, Kageyama got out of bed and followed him into the bathroom.

* * *

 

            Kageyama arrived at the school with minutes to spare. Pulling into a parking spot, Kageyama had barely turned off the car before he opened the door. Jogging to the entrance he made it to the door just as Aiko’s class started to exit. As soon as she saw him waving over to her, she ran over excitedly.

            “Daddy!” Aiko shouted excitedly. She ran over to him with her book bag bobbing behind her with a large piece of paper in her hands.  “Hey daddy! We did drawings today and I mine was better than everyone else’s. See look? I brought so I could show it to you and Hinata.” She held up a large colorful drawing of three figures on a couch. Kageyama took it and looked at it closely. “The teacher wanted us to draw things we like to do. So I drew us watching a movie on the couch. Like we do on Saturdays.” Kageyama’s eyes moved from the tall dark haired figure that she labeled “daddy” to the tiny dark haired figure she labeled “me” and finally to the read-headed figure who was named “Hinata”. He could practically feel the bile rising in his throat. He felt sick and awful and guilty and angry all at the same time. Kageyama’s hands trembled as he handed back the drawing to Aiko.

            “It’s beautiful Belly,” he quavered as she took the drawing, looking up at him with concern.

            “Thank you,” she said warily. “When Hinata comes home I’ll show him,” she said, rolling it up in her hands. Kageyama exhaled, deciding whether or not he wanted to tell her now or later. “Daddy what’s wrong?”

            “Nothing Belly,” he replied, smiling at her. “I just... um... I’ll tell you when we get home.” He took her hand in his and walked over to the car. The drive to the apartment was worse than any he'd ever had to do before. Despite living a considerate distance from the school, the drive had never felt shorter. Kageyama was pulling in to a spot by the apartment building faster than he was mentally prepared for. By the time they had gone up to the apartment Kageyama knew he’d never really be ready to explain to Aiko what he had to explain.

            “Hey daddy, is Hinata bringing home those muffins?” Aiko asked, dropping her book bag on the floor next to the couch. Kageyama sighed and walked into the kitchen ignoring her question. “Daddy?” Aiko called out from the living room. He heard her little feet patter into the kitchen, as he reached into the freezer and pulled out the tub of ice cream Oikawa had bought. He grabbed two spoons and set them on the table. Aiko just watched him, confusion and concern written all over her face.

            “Come, here you go,” Kageyama said, offering Aiko a spoon. She slowly walked over, pulling herself up into a chair, across from her dad, carefully taking the spoon. “Here have some ice cream,” he said, removing the lid.

            “Thank you,” she said hesitantly, scooping out a spoonful of chocolate ice cream and eating it. “It’s good.” Kageyama just hummed, nodding his head taking a spoonful himself. “Daddy,” Aiko began carefully, “why are we eating ice cream?”

            “Because I’m going to tell you something that might upset you,” Kageyama said, taking another spoonful of ice cream. “And chocolate always makes hard things easier.” He glanced over at Aiko, who was staring at him nervous and concerned, completely ignoring the ice cream in front of her.

            “Wha-what is it?” she stuttered nervously. Kageyama took a deep breath, and set his spoon aside.

            “Hinata... won’t be living with us anymore,” Kageyama said as delicately as he could.  He watched as the color drained in Aiko's face. Her shoulders sagged and her hands fell into her lap.

            “You’re getting a divorce?” she asked emotionally.

            “Uh... kind of,” Kageyama replied, thinking it was better not to push the point right now. “We’re... um, we’re not going to be together anymore and... Hinata thinks it’s best if he doesn’t live with us.”

            “But where is he going to go?” she asked nervously. “Where will he live?”

            “I’m not sure Belly, somewhere else,” he shrugged. “Maybe where he used to live before he lived here with us.”

            “Can we go visit him?” Aiko asked frantically.

            “No, Belly. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Kageyama shook his head.

            “But, but we’re...we’re still going to see him right?” she asked, her panic rising. Kageyama could see tears forming in her eyes and it made his chest clench. “We’re going to still go to the bakery and get muffins right?” Her panic was rising with every moment.

            “No, most likely not Belly,” Kageyama said sadly.

            “But-but Hinata told me he was going to teach me how to bake muffins. He told me we were going to go to the zoo on Halloween to see the animals. Is he still going to do that daddy?” she asked as tears started falling down her face. “Daddy? Hinata promised.”

            “I don’t think so, Belly,” he replied, feeling tears form in his eyes.

            “He promised!” Aiko shouted. “He promised he was going to teach me how to bake! He promised to take me to the bakery all day Saturday! Hinata promised!” She was fully crying now, tears pouring down her face.

            “I’m so sorry Aiko,” Kageyama said, crying in earnest now. “I never wanted you to get hurt. This is all my fault.”

            “He...he’s...where is he? I want to talk to him,” Aiko sniffled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

            “Hinata isn’t coming back Belly,” Kageyama sighed, wiping his own eyes. “But he did tell me something to tell you.”

            “What?” she whimpered.

            “He said,” Kageyama took a deep breath. “He said that he’s sorry, that he’ll miss you. That he never wanted to hurt you, and that he loves you with all his heart.” This didn’t seem to have any positive effect on Aiko. She burst into tears, sobbing and wailing into her tiny hands.

            “He’s lying! He doesn’t love me because he’s not here. He doesn’t want me. Hinata didn’t want to be my second daddy,” she sobbed.  “I just wanted two daddies. But he doesn’t want me.” That was the breaking point for Kageyama, he got up quickly and scooped Aiko into his arms, cradling her to his chest. He carried his sobbing daughter into his bedroom, where he laid her down next to him. He cuddled her until her wretched sobs became erratic breaths.

            “Hinata didn’t leave because of you Belly,” Kageyama soothed, brushing her bangs back. He ran his fingers through her newly shortened hair. “He loved you, and it hurt him to leave you.”

            “But he’s gone,” Aiko sniffed. “You said he’s not coming back.”

            “I don’t think he is,” Kageyama replied softly. She cuddled closer to his chest. He could hear her still sniffling, trying not to cry.

            “I’ll never get to see him again?” Aiko mumbled into Kageyama’s shirt. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.

            “I can’t say for sure, but not for a while,” Kageyama whispered rubbing his hand soothingly on her back. “But can I tell you something?” Aiko raised her head slightly from his chest to look up at him. “I love you Belly,” he smiled down at her. She gave him a watery smile.

            “I love you too daddy,” she croaked, hugging him around his neck. “I wont leave you daddy. I’m going to stay here with you forever.” Kageyama tilted his head back to hold back tears as he hugged his daughter back.

            “It’s going to just be you and me Belly,” Kageyama said softly. “Aiko and Tobio against the world. Two parts of the same piece.”

            “Yeah, just you and me daddy,” Aiko sighed, closing her eyes. Emotionally drained, Kageyama held her tightly as they both fell asleep.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your responses have been amazing. i love how more people were upset about Aiko than anything else. and as my precious OC, i totally feel the same and thank you. 
> 
> this chapter is definitely a bridge for the final and more angsty arc. next chapter it begins, but this chapter is kind of getting our surroundings.

* * *

**_Three months later_ **

            It was 6:30 and Kageyama was tired. He had awoken with a start, the sudden change from nightmare to reality now a normal occurrence for him. Out of reflex, his arm went out to his left, finding nothing but cold bed next to him as he had for the past three months. His alarm went off beside him, and he moved his hand to quickly silence it. Staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, Kageyama tried to will himself out of bed.

            _You need to get up. Just move._

He tried to convince himself to get up with no avail. He just lay there, trying to remember the last time he was actually woken up by his alarm and not by a nightmare. Lying there silently for a few minutes, he heard a small series of noises coming from the hallway. The patter of footsteps grew louder as they approached his door. Kageyama closed his eyes, not moving his head as he listened to sounds of slow approaching steps reaching the space next to the bed. He felt the bed dip next to him as a tiny body crawled up towards his face.

            “Daddy, you have to get up,” Aiko whispered, putting her tiny cold hands on his cheeks. “I have to go to school early remember?”

            “Yes, I remember,” Kageyama mumbled, rubbing his eyes free of sleep.

            “Ms. Shimizu said that the school bus leaves for the museum at 8, we can’t be late daddy,” Aiko said, squeezing his cheeks together.

            “Alright, I’m getting up,” Kageyama said, sitting up in bed. He ran his fingers through Aiko’s slightly longer hair. She sat cross-legged on the bed in front of him, her pink flannel pajamas bunching up and the ankles. “You’re cute you know that?” he smiled down at her.

            “I know,” she giggled, beaming up at him. “Dr. Oikawa told me I had a murderer smile.”

            “I think he said _killer smile_ ,” Kageyama corrected, laughing slightly. “If you had a murderer smile you would be more scary than cute.”

            “I’m scary cute,” Aiko said smugly, getting off the bed.

            “Oh yeah, I’m terrified,” Kageyama teased, throwing the covers off him and stepping down onto the floor. “Come on scary pants, let’s feed you.”

            “Daddy can you make me those pancakes with the strawberries?” Aiko asked, running into the kitchen.

            “Well if you want to get to school early maybe not pancakes,” Kageyama said, following behind her. “How about cereal?”

            “Ugh fine,” Aiko sighed, sitting in her seat at the table. “Can you make the pancakes for me on Sunday?...” she asked slyly. “Pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream and chocolate syrup?”

            “Now why would I want to make something special for you?” Kageyama wondered, getting the cereal and milk. He glanced at Aiko out of the corner of his eye. She was a staring holes into him, wiggling impatiently in her seat. “I don’t think there’s anything special on Sunday...?”

            “Daddy!” Aiko cried impatiently.

            “There’s nothing worth celebrating...” he teased as he poured Aiko a bowl of cereal.

            “Daddy!” she cried again.

            “What could possibly be on Sunday that we should celebrate?” Kageyama joked, laughing to himself.

            “Daddy, you know it’s my birthday!” Aiko exclaimed, kneeling up in her chair. Kageyama put the bowl on front of her.

            “Oh! I knew I was forgetting something!” Kageyama exclaimed,  pretending to be surprised. “Oh yeah ok, I guess that’s worthy enough for special pancakes. What are you turning? Like 17 right?”

            “No Daddy!” Aiko giggled, picking up her spoon. “Five, I’m turning five!”

            “Five?” Kageyama questioned,  feigning confusion. “Wow you’re old. A whole hand.”

            “I’m not old, you’re old,” Aiko laughed, taking a bite of her food. “You’re more than five hands.”

            “Well when you say it like that,” Kageyama said, brushing her hair back. He looked down at her, watching her eat her breakfast. She smiled up at him and he felt his chest constrict. He was glad that she was back to her happy self. Kageyama had been worried about her for a while. After Hinata left, Aiko was not the same. She spent weeks wounded and lethargic, far from her normal bubbly self. Aiko would often spend her time holed up in her room, drawing and painting, not really talking. She would sometimes show glimpses of her old self, smiling and laughing with Kageyama. Yet then something would happen, and Kageyama would see her get a look in her eye like she just remembered something very sad, and she'd lose all her energy and go sulk in her room. But after awhile, she started smiling more and laughing more and then after about a month and a half, she was almost completely back to her normal self.

            “Daddy, you’re staring me,” Aiko mumbled around a mouth full of cereal.

            “Sorry Belly, you’re just so cute, I couldn’t look away,” Kageyama teased,  pressing a kiss to the top of her head.  “Come on eat up, so I can drive you to school.”

* * *

 

            “Hey, look, I’m here before you for once,” Tanaka goaded as Kageyama walked in to the tattoo shop that morning. He smirked, leaning against the front desk at an annoyed Kageyama.

            “Yeah well, my car was doing that thing again where it’s a piece of crap,” Kageyama said annoyed, hanging his jacket on the coat rack by the front desk. “And Aiko was rushing me because your lovely girlfriend told the class that the bus leaves at 8 and you know how insane that little girl gets.”

            “You’re damn right my girlfriend is lovely,” Tanaka said, responding to the only take away he got from Kageyama.

            “She’s alright,” Kuroo said from the front desk computer.

            “You’re gay, how could you truly see her perfection?” Tanaka said, offended, turning to Kuroo who was working on the shop’s website. “Like Shittyshima is any better.”

            “Well, we broke up, so yeah, you’re right,” Kuroo shrugged not offended.

            “Again?” Tanaka asked. “That’s like, the 8th time.”

            “Kuroo likes the drama,” Kageyama said knowingly. 

            “I do,” Kuroo nodded thoughtfully, brushing aside his heavily styled hair. “That’s true; Kageyama knows me so well,” Kuroo added feigning sentimentality.

            “Ugh, unfortunately,” Kageyama grimaced, sagging his shoulders.

            “Hey, but that means you’re a free agent again right?” Tanaka exclaimed leaning over the desk to light punch Kuroo’s shoulder. “Now you can go wild, and go to one of those pay parties.”

            “It’s Play Parties,” Kuroo said rolling his eyes. “And I don’t know... I don’t know if I’m really feeling _that_ anymore.” Kageyama watched him shrug his shoulders and try to maintain an aloof appearance.

            “What? But you’re always talking shit about all the things you’ve been doing, and who you’ve been doing,” Tanaka asked. “Why stop now?”

            “I don’t know, cause I’m almost thirty and my mom keeps asking me if I’ve found that guy whose going to tame me yet,” Kuroo said uncomfortably. “Maybe I’m starting to wonder that too.”

            “Oh dude...” Tanaka said looking at him with concern. “That’s so not what I thought you were going to say.”

            “Fuck off,” Kuroo laughed, shaking his head.

            “I thought you were going to tell us that you wanted to stop cause you got a STD or something,” Tanaka laughed. “Not that you want to find _the one_.”

            “Hey, I’m allowed to be sappy sometimes too, you know,” Kuroo said, spinning in his chair to face them properly.

            “He probably did get an STD and this is how he’s playing it off,” Kageyama smirked.

            “Nope, clean as a whistle baby,” Kuroo said smugly. “I keep myself nice and clean so I’m always ready.”

            “You’re always ready?” Kageyama asked dubiously. “How are you suppose to find _the one_ if you keep talking like that?”

            “Hey don’t kinkshame me,” Kuroo said defensively.

            “He’s just being like that to hide his interest,” Tanaka teased, wiggling his eyebrows. Kageyama glared at him darkly.

            “Huh, well if you’re interested Kags ,” Kuroo began,  leaning back in his chair sensually, “I’m more than willing to give you a crash course in Kuroo’s School of Fuckcraft and Submission-ary.”

            “Um, no thanks,” Kageyama responded, scrunching up his nose in distaste. “I‘ll pass.”

            “What about the baker?” Kuroo asked, wiggling his eyebrows insinuatingly. Kageyama’s face went from disgusted to menacing in seconds. He leveled a dark, murderous glare at Kuroo, to which Tanaka shivered just looking at. “You should see your face right now, oh my god. I’m only teasing, I’d never go after your man.” Kageyama only continued to snarl at Kuroo who seemed to shrink slightly under his glare.

            “Hey are you morons going to do any work?” Iwaizumi said coming in from his workroom. “Every time I see you guys your gossiping like school children. Go fucking do something,” he said slapping Tanaka on the back. Kageyama stormed off before Iwaizumi could say anything else, listening to the sounds of Tanaka crying out in pain from the slap. 

            Walking into his workroom, he slammed the door behind him. He knew that Kuroo was just trying to get a rise out of him, but unfortunately it worked; and it worked too well. Almost three months after he and Hinata had officially broken up and it still felt raw to him. Kageyama understood that Kuroo only meant to tease him, but he couldn’t shake the anger out of him. It felt like he had a fire burning under his skin and all down his spine, and no amount of rolling his neck or shaking out his limbs was going to put it out. A knock at the door snapped him out of his angry haze.

            “Hey,” Tanaka said opening the door carefully. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Kageyama said throatily.

            “Well, I know that Kuroo can tease and sometimes it hits too close to home but, just know that he does only mean it as a joke,” Tanaka explained, walking over to Kageyama. “He was just messing around in that way that he does.”

            “It’s fine, I’m not mad,” Kageyama lied. “I know what he’s like, it’s just...”

            “I understand,” Tanaka said, patting his shoulder. “You’re still... it’s still too recent. I know 3 months feels long but it’s also short. Hell, three years would feel short.” Kageyama just bit his lip , trying to control his face. “I know it still hurts, but honestly, joking about things does help. Because eventually you’ll makes jokes about it too, and that’s when you’ll see that you’ve moved on and that’s ok.”

            “I just...” Kageyama sighed, looking past Tanaka. “I don’t think... I can make jokes about it yet. Eventually, I’m sure but right now it’s still...I’m still... it’s hard.” Tanaka nodding understandingly, patting Kageyama’s shoulder.

            “Maybe you should go out and try to...I don’t know, meet someone new?” Kageyama looked like he was about to protest before Tanaka cut him off. “I’m not saying go out and meet _the one,_ I’m saying go out and fuck and be fucked. Let loose a bit. Try something different. Fuck a guy, fuck a girl, fuck a guy and a girl at the same time.”

            “Yeah, no girls for me,” Kageyama said, scrunching his nose in distaste. “Last time I did that I ended up with a kid, and I’m not looking to give Aiko a sibling anytime soon.”

            “Fine,” Tanaka laughed, “then go fuck some guys. Fuck a bunch of guys. Fuck a bunch of guys at the same time. You never used to let loose before and now this is an opportunity for you to just go wild.”

            “This is pretty kinky advice for someone who didn’t know what flogging was like a month ago,” Kageyama said, raising an eyebrow.

            “I Google,” Tanaka shrugged dismissively. “Speaking of which, Prince Albert!? I finally worked up the courage to search it and fucking hell man! Why would you put a needle anywhere near your dick? What could it possibly do that it’s worth that?”

            “I feels really good,” Kageyama said incredulously. “Why else?”

            “Ugh, whatever man,” Tanaka said, getting a chill down his spine. “But about what I said before... just you know...” he looked at Kageyama who was looking at him expectantly. “I’m here for you.”

            “Thanks man,” Kageyama said a bit awkwardly, but smiling none the less.

 

****


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok first things first, i am so sorry for not updating in like a whole week. i was not only really overwhelmed with school work but i was also really sick- like staying at home because i couldn't even move sick. but i'm much better now and i'm doing a double update because i feel so bad that it's been sooooo long. and we are getting into that final angsty arc of tears and drama and sadness. it's going to be hurtful, but also great. 
> 
> i'm sorry if i didn't answer your comment, as usual i 100% read it. i'm a bit more consist on tumblr if you want to message me there but please please please continue commenting here too. i know both Nick (who did a wonderful job as usual editing the chapters) love to read the comments...even though he's more proactive about replying than i am. Honestly it's because i just have school work, it's not because i don't want to respond.

* * *

            “-and the museum had all these paintings and drawings and some of them were super old and super big and Emi said that I could never make a drawing that big, but I told her that she didn’t even know how to draw and then we saw the-the” Aiko cut herself off with a loud sneeze that startled Kageyama as he cooked dinner.

            “Bless you,” Kageyama said, turning to see his daughter struggling to wipe her nose free of snot. He put down his knife and quickly washed his hands and grabbed a paper towel. “Here, wait, let me do it,” he said, wiping her nose for her. “What was that all about? That’s like your tenth sneeze today,” Kageyama asked, throwing away the paper towel; Aiko just shrugged and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

            “I don’t know daddy,” Aiko said. She sniffed and Kageyama could hear the snot in her nose. “I feel like I’m going to sneeze again.”

            “Go get the box of tissues and have them next to you,” Kageyama instructed, gesturing to the living room. Aiko slid down from her seat and ran into the living room. “I hope you’re not getting sick,” he said loud enough for her to hear. “I do remember telling you to use the hand sanitizer and to not put your little dirty fingers in your mouth.”

            “I used it,” Aiko said defensively. “But I sat with Emi on the bus and she was coughing. She coughed on my water bottle.”

            “Did you clean it before you drank from it?” Kageyama asked, glancing at his daughter.

            “We were on the bus! I was thirsty!” Aiko cried, throwing her tiny hands in the air.

            “Ok well that’s why you’re getting sick,” Kageyama said, annoyed. He sighed and put down his knife that he was using to chop up vegetables. “Alright, well now lets hope that you don’t get super sick, ok?” Kageyama said, picking Aiko up by her armpits and placed her on his hip.

            “I’m not super sick daddy,” Aiko insisted, shaking her head as she wiped her nose with a tissue. Kageyama walked her into the living room and placed her on the couch.

            “Sit here and I’m going to finish dinner. I can’t have you sneezing in the soup,” Kageyama explained, wrapping her up in a warm blanket. “Just sit here, alright,” he instructed, placing a small kiss on her forehead. Aiko nodded, smiling up him.

* * *

 

            “Hey, I’m sorry, I know it’s late,” Kageyama said quietly into the phone.

            “No, no, it’s fine,” Oikawa said tiredly into the phone. “What’s up?”

            “It’s Aiko, she’s sick,” Kageyama explained. He glanced behind him to where Aiko was laying on the couch, covered up in blankets and coughing. “And I thought calling my doctor friend was better than using Web MD.”

            “What are her symptoms?” Oikawa asked, sounding more awake.

            “Um, she’s coughing and sneezing a lot. She- she has a fever and she’s sweating but she says she’s cold. And she says that she has a headache and her body aches,” Kageyama listed worriedly. “Wha-what do I do?”

            “Alright I’m coming over,” Oikawa said, sounding like he was getting up. “Just let me get dressed ok? I’ll come and check on her.”

            “Oh really?” Kageyama asked,  surprised. “Th-thank you.”

            “Yeah no problem man,” Oikawa said, slightly muffled. “I’m getting dressed, I’ll be there soon.” Kageyama thanked him again and hung up. He walked over to Aiko, picking her up and setting her in his lap as he sat down. Holding her against his chest, he soothed his hand down her back as she coughed and wheezed against him.

            “What did Dr. Oikawa say?” Aiko murmured, fisting her tiny hands into his sweater. “Did he say I was sick?”

            “He’s actually coming over to check on you,” Kageyama said softly, kissing the top of her head. He could feel her head tipping to the side like she was fighting off sleep. “I know it’s late Belly, but I just need you to stay awake a little bit longer so Oikawa can make sure you’re ok. After that, you can sleep as much as you want.” Aiko nodded against him, moving her body to get more comfortable. Kageyama reached over to grab his phone off the other side of the couch, trying not to dislodge Aiko’s position on top of him. 11:42pm. It was late and he felt bad for calling Oikawa but he wasn’t sure what else to do. Aiko had gone from sneezing and saying she was fine, to a fever and chills. He held her against him, watching TV on low, waiting Oikawa to arrive. A little bit after midnight, he heard a soft knock at the door.  Gingerly moving Aiko on to the couch, Kageyama walked over to open the door.

            “Hey, sorry it took me so long,” Oikawa apologized,  walking into the apartment. “I wanted to pick up children’s cold and flu medicine since that’s what I think this is.” Kageyama nodded and walked over with him to where Aiko was curled up on the couch.

            “Hey Belly,” Kageyama said softly, bending over her. “I need you to sit up for a second. Dr. Oikawa is here and he’s going to take a look at you ok?” Aiko groaned, but sat up anyway, lolling her head to one side with exhaustion.

            “Hey there Aiko,” Oikawa said, crouching down to her eye level. “I’m just going to do some check ups on you, alright?” Aiko nodded sleepily. “Ok good.” He pulled his doctor’s bag closer to him. Kageyama sat down on the other side of the couch, watching Oikawa check Aiko’s throat, eyes, ears, checking her temperature, and listen to her chest. After a few minutes, Oikawa looped his stethoscope around his neck and stood up. Nervous, Kageyama stood up too.

            “So?” Kageyama prompted nervously.

            “Well, I’m now almost certain that I was right about this being a cold,” Oikawa said, setting his hands on his hips. “A nasty cold, but just a cold none the less.” Kageyama let out a sigh of relief.

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up in the middle of the night for a cold,” Kageyama said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just wasn’t sure exactly what to do, she never really gets sick.”

            “It’s fine, you were a concerned parent. I’ve had other people call me for dumber stuff,” Oikawa reassured him, smiling. “She just needs liquids to keep hydrated because she also has a fever, but that she just needs to sweat out. And some of this cold and flu medicine,” he explained, handing him the box. “Also her cough is kind of phlegmy which means excess mucus in the lungs. It should go away on it’s own as she gets better, but I recommend hot tea.”

            “Thank you so much,” Kageyama said, taking the box from him. “I was worried, and I didn’t really know what to do and last time she had a cold over the summer, Hin-” he cut himself off and glanced at Aiko to make sure she had fallen asleep. Aiko was breathing steadily and Kageyama thought she might have been asleep, but he didn’t want to take a chance. Gesturing to the kitchen, Kageyama walked over, followed by Oikawa. Once they were out of earshot, he began again. “Last time she had a cold, Hinata made her this...tea and took care of her and he knew all these homeopathic remedies and I just...” he sighed heavily. “It’s weird you know, sometimes I feel like I can’t actually do this on my own. This whole parenting thing; I’m not cut out for this. I mean I can’t even take care of her when she has a cold, I have to go running to someone else.”

            “What? You called a doctor, that’s normal,” Oikawa said, confused. “You can ask for help sometimes you know. It’s not against the rules. Just because you needed an expert opinion doesn’t make you a bad parent. Actually if you didn’t utilize me and my knowledge that would be worse.” Kageyama sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I know you miss Hinata but... that’s ok. You’re allowed to miss him. But you’re a great dad in your own right, and don’t forget that.”

            “I know, thanks,” Kageyama sighed. “It’s just... sometimes I’m fine and its like I can almost forget him you know? But then... I don’t know, I see something or say something and then it’s like wham, I’m painfully aware that we-” Kageyama cut himself off with a heavy sigh.

            “This distance is good,” Oikawa said, putting his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. “It gives you time to get perspective. Figure things out.”

            “You’re right, I know it’s just... I wish...” Kageyama trailed off. “Forget it, I’m just stressed and being emotional. I just miss him, whatever.”  
            “You such a moron, of course you miss him,” Oikawa said, giving him a light shove.

            “Dr. Oikawa,” Aiko called weakly from the living room. “My head hurts.”

            “I’m coming Aiko,” Oikawa called back, taking the medicine from Kageyama. “And listen,” he said quietly to Kageyama. “You need to be a bit less stressed. You’re a good parent on your own. And Aiko needs you now, don’t worry about Hinata.”

* * *

 

            “I think she’s asleep now,” Kageyama whispered, brushing his hand over Aiko’s hair as she slept in his lap. Aiko was curled up, asleep, sweat making her hair stick to her forehead, bundled up in two blankets on Kageyama’s lap. Oikawa sat next to him on the couch, watching TV on low. “I don’t know if I should move her to her bed or not.”

            “Sometimes little kids just like to be held,” Oikawa said softly, watching Aiko sleep. “She might feel better if she slept in your arms rather than her bed. It has nothing to do with actually overcoming the illness, but more to do with psychology.”

            “Ok, I’ll hold her then,” Kageyama said, adjusting Aiko slightly so he was siting in a more comfortable position. “Thank you for staying by the way, you didn’t have to do that.”

            “Eh, what kind of doctor leaves their patient,” Oikawa shrugged. “It’s not like I just came off a 24 hour shift or anything...” he trailed off.

            “Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Kageyama whispered, feeling incredibly guilty.

            “I’m messing with you,” Oikawa smirked, rolling his eyes. “I only do a 12 hour on Mondays now.”

            “Still,” Kageyama frowned, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you from sleeping.”

            “It’s fine, Tobio,” Oikawa smiled. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. How could I let this little girl be sick? Especially before her birthday. It’s my doctoral duty to make sure she gets better.”

            “Shut the fuck up,” Kageyama chuckled quietly. “You’re so obnoxious.”

            “It’s part of my charm,” Oikawa shrugged. “Are you doing anything for her birthday? I’d love to see you hosting 10 screaming kids in your apartment.” Kageyama frowned, sending a soft glare at Oikawa. “No seriously, think about it. You, surrounded by children who are screaming and running all hopped up on cake and soda, just making a mess and breaking things and-”

            “I get it,” Kageyama said, cutting him off. “Please, the image alone is giving me anxiety.” Oikawa laughed quietly. “And for the record, no I’m not hosting a big 10-kid birthday party for Aiko. She wanted to go to the art museum with me and her friend Emi.”

            “Isn’t that little girl she’s constantly complaining about?” Oikawa asked.

            “Yeah? That’s what confused me too,” Kageyama shrugged. “I said that to her and she said, and I quote, _“_ _Daddy! She_ _’_ _s my best friend. We argue because we care_ _”_ which of course just continued to perplex me, but whatever.”

            “I will never understand little girls,” Oikawa said, shaking his head. “I didn’t even understand them when I was that age. I was always popular with the boys.”

            “Ew,” Kageyama grimaced.

            “I meant like I was cool and popular and stuff,” Oikawa chuckled quietly, kicking Kageyama’s shin gently. “I’ve always been suave and cool.”

            “Oh yeah, you’re super suave,” Kageyama snarked. “You have me swooning.”

            “Don’t patronize me,” Oikawa laughed softly. He looked down at his watch and sighed. “Look, I do need to get some sleep. I’m going to head home, but call me if you need something ok?”

            “Yes, of course,” Kageyama said as Oikawa got up from the couch. “Thanks again, so much. I...thank you.”

            “No problem,” Oikawa smiled. He bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to Aiko’s forehead, brushing her bangs from her face. “Make sure she gets rest and liquids,” He whispered to Kageyama, careful not to disturb Aiko. Oikawa leaned up slightly and pressed a small kiss to Kageyama’s forehead. “You’re a good dad. Try not to panic so much.”

            “I’ll try,” Kageyama whispered, looking up at Oikawa.

            “I’ll see you later,” Oikawa said softly. He stood up and walked over to the door. “Liquids, sleep, medicine,” he repeated, pointing at Kageyama.

            “Got it,” Kageyama nodded seriously. Oikawa gave a thumbs up as he grabbed his coat and bag, closing the front door behind him. Kageyama sighed, settling into the couch more. He adjusted Aiko so he could lie down on the couch while holding Aiko on his chest. He felt himself falling asleep after a little while only to be woken up by a sick Aiko crying for him softly. He would calm her down and try to go back to sleep only to be woken up again an hour later. Aiko would wake up, upset and uncomfortable every few hours needing medicine or just soothing words.

            “Daddy,” Aiko sniffled, sometime around 7 in the morning. She had her head on Kageyama’s chest and her little body curled up in his lap with his arms holding her. “Daddy, I don’t feel well,” she sneezed, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand.

            “I know Belly,” Kageyama sighed, feeling particularly tired and stressed. “I’m going to stay home with you today. Dr. Oikawa left medicine and instructions for you to get better.”

            “I want that tea that I had last time,” Aiko mumbled. Kageyama exhaled running his fingers through his hair.

            “Um... I’ll try to remember the recipe,” Kageyama said unsteadily. “I got to move you ok?” Kageyama gently moved Aiko onto the couch with only minor complaints from her. He made his way into the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. He opened his cabinets trying to remember the ingredients Hinata used. 

            _Ok, it was something with herbs and...and green tea...or was it oolong? Did he use cinnamon? I can_ _’_ _t even remember. All I know is he made some tea and it tasted good and made her feel better. He was so good at this stuff. God I miss him._

“Daddy, I think he used ginger,” Aiko called out weakly from the living room. “And orange.”

            “Oh yeah,” Kageyama said remembering vaguely. “You’re right. I think I’m remembering it now.” Kageyama started taking out the loose tea and the ingredients that he remembered.

            _Hinata just put this shit together but he didn_ _’_ _t tell me what was in it. It had like...green tea...maybe...ginger, orange peel, honey...and something else, ugh I have no idea... I could text him real quick- no, we_ _’_ _re done, we said goodbye and it would only be worse if I texted him out of the blue like that. I_ _’_ _m just to put this all together in a teapot and hope for the best._

            “Daddy, do you need help?” Aiko asked weakly, pulling Kageyama out of his thoughts.

            “Um, no, it’s ok Belly. Thanks. But I got it,” Kageyama called back to her. “Give me few minutes for the kettle to boil.” _I_ _’_ _ll just figure this shit out without him._


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Double Update!!!!* 
> 
> i'm really excited about this chapter because it S T A R T S 
> 
> next chapter you guys are going to die lmao

* * *

            “Daddy! Drive faster!” Aiko cheered from the backseat. She wriggled impatiently in her car seat as Kageyama drove her to school.

            “Aiko, I am going as fast as I can. As you can see there is a lot of traffic,” Kageyama explained, gesturing to the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the road. “We will get there when we get there.”

            “But daddy, I already missed school yesterday!” Aiko cried from her seat. “I can’t be late today.”

            “Aiko, we will get there whe- HELLO!? DO YOU NOT SEE ME HERE? CAN YOU MERGE LIKE A FUC-FREKAING HUMAN BEING WITH EYES?- when we get there,” Kageyama finished, sighing heavily. He gripped the wheel tightly, sniffing to try to clear his stuffy nose. “As you can see people are driving crazy today and I- I-” he cut himself off with a huge sneeze.

            “Bless you daddy!” Aiko cheered.

            “Uh, thank you Belly,” Kageyama groaned, leaning over to the glove compartment for a napkin. “I think I got your cold.”

            “I’m sorry daddy,” Aiko apologized.

            “It’s fine,” he said, wiping his nose. “We’re almost at school, and we’re going to have to run out real quick cause you’re on the cusp of being late. So make sure you have everything ready to go right now.”

            “I have my book bag, I have my...oh there it is, I have my lunch, I’m good,” Aiko said  

            “Ok good, one more block and we’re there,” Kageyama said, looking up at her in the rear view mirror. She smiled brightly up at him, looking a thousand times better than she had the day before, curled up, sniffling on the couch. He looked back out the windshield turning on his left turn  signal. Just as he began turning left into the far right lane, an oncoming car from the left lane sped past him, almost hitting the car. Kageyama swerved the car just in time, barely missing the oncoming car. “What the fuck!?” Kageyama shouted at the driver, even though he was long out of hearing range. “Aiko, are you alright?” he asked, looking up in the rearview mirror. 

            “Yeah daddy, I’m fine,” Aiko exhaled, her tiny hand on her chest. “Are you alright?”

            “I’m ok Belly,” He said, pulling up in front of the school, turning off the car quickly. He took a deep breath and shook his head to free the sudden adrenaline. “Ok, lets get you to school.”

* * *

 

            “All right, so just remember to keep that clean and put a healing salve on that,” Kageyama said, walking his customer to the front counter. “Let’s make a color appoint-appiont-” Kageyama cut himself off with a large sneeze. He turned quickly away, and sneezed loudly into his arm.

            “Bless you?” Kuroo said from behind the desk, looking up from the computer.

            “Ugh, thanks,” Kageyama said, grabbing a tissue from the front desk. Holding the tissue to his nose, he turned to Kuroo. “Can you, um,” he gestured to the large man still admiring his fresh forearm tattoo, “set up an appointment for a month from now?”

            “Sure, no problem, Typhoid Mary,” Kuroo said, standing up and grabbing the appointment book. Kageyama frowned at him and walked off toward his workroom. Just as he passed Iwaizumi’s workroom he paused and sneezed again, covering his nose with his other hand.

            “Fuck,” Kageyama mumbled as he walked quickly into his workroom, to wash his hands. Cleaning his hands in the small sink, Kageyama wiped his nose on a paper towel. He stood up, taking a deep breath that was made difficult by his inability to breathe through his stuffy nose.

            “You’re sick,” Iwaizumi said, suddenly behind him. Kageyama jumped slightly in surprise turning around to see a stern looking Iwaizumi with crossed arms standing behind him.

            “It’s just a cold,” Kageyama sniffed, coughing into his arm.

            “This is supposed to be a sterile environment,” Iwaizumi said seriously. “I can’t have you sneezing and coughing all over the utensils contaminating the environment and risking infection.”

            “Hey I keep everything sterile, ok?” Kageyama defended. “I would never risk infection. Everything is clean and I’ve been using hand sanitizer. I’m a professional.”

            “I’m not doubting your professionalism,” Iwaizumi said. “I’m saying your sick.”

            “I’m fi-” Kageyama went to disagree but was caught by a coughing fit. Iwaizumi watched him as he coughed and wheezed into his arm.

            “Sick,” Iwaizumi said, patting him on the back. “Go home.”

            “It’s barely past noon,” Kageyama began. “And I don’t have anymore clients, just let me stay and draw.”

            “Absolutely not,” Iwaizumi said. “Get out.” Kageyama sighed, rolling his eyes as he made a show of packing up his sketchbook into his bag. He tried to walk out of his workroom all cool and smooth, but ended up getting caught up in another coughing fit right in the doorway. “You dumbass,” Iwaizumi sighed, walking over to Kageyama who was still coughing. “Call someone to drive you home and go work the desk. Make Kuroo actually do something except watch porn all day.”

            “Iwaizu-” Kageyama wheezed to detest.

            “Don’t... fucking argue with me, ok?” Iwaizumi said, holding his hand up to stop him. “I take of my own, alright? You’re sick. I’m going to go make you some fucking tea. Go fucking call someone to pick you up cause you’re going to crash if you drive.”

            “...fine,” Kageyama said, trying not blush from the blatant concern. “I’ll...I’ll call someone.” He walked over to the front desk, dropping his bag by the floor next to the computer. “Get up, I’m running the desk for a few,” he told Kuroo, motioning for him to get up.

            “Alright bossy,” Kuroo said, getting up from the computer. “Don’t log out of my porn, I minimized it.” Kuroo got up from the chair and walked out towards his workroom. Kageyama scoffed as he sat in the chair glancing at the computer, pulling out his phone. He scrolled down his contacts and sighed when he got to the number he was looking for. Pressing the call button he brought the phone to his ear with a sniff.

            “Oh, Tobio, what are you in need of now, darling?” Oikawa cooed on the other end.

            “I’m sorry, I’m asking you for something again, and if you can’t do it I totally understand, but,” Kageyama said, and took a death breath, “could you...come pick me up and drop me off at my apartment.” All he could hear was Oikawa laughing on the other end.

            “Why?” Oikawa chucked.

            “Because I’m sick and my boss won’t let me drive because he thinks I’ll crash, so can you just drive me home?” Kageyama huffed.

            “Yeah, you’re lucky my shift starts at 2,” Oikawa said.

            “Thank you,” Kageyama sighed, sinking into the chair. “I’ll text you the address.”

            “Ok, I’ll be there soon,” Oikawa said, hanging up. Kageyama put the phone away in his pocket as Iwaizumi walked over with a steaming mug.

            “Sit here, drink this, and answer the phone,” Iwaizumi grunted, putting the mug down on the desk. Kageyama gingerly took the mug and took a sip.

            “Thank you,” Kageyama said quietly.

            “Dumbass,” Iwaizumi said, walking away. Kageyama just sat at the front desk, coughing and sneezing and drinking his tea while he waited for Oikawa to come pick him up. By the time he finished his mug of tea, he heard the door opening as Oikawa walked in.

            “I didn’t know this is where you worked, I pass by this place all the time,” Oikawa said, walking over to Kageyama. “It’s fancy.”

            “It’s just a-” Kageyama cut himself off with a coughing fit, “just a tattoo shop.”

            “Well, I’ll take the compliment if you won’t,” Iwaizumi said, walking over. Oikawa turned to see the source of the voice and stared at the large, muscular, heavily tattooed man walking over. “Hi, Iwaizumi. I’m the owner,” he said, sticking out his hand. Oikawa just stared him blankly. Iwaizumi watched Oikawa just stare blankly at him, and after a few seconds he glanced at Kageyama to look for some sort of assistance or reaction. Kageyama was just watching Oikawa with raised eyebrows and a slight smirk.

            “This is my friend, Oikawa,” Kageyama smirked. “He came to pick me up.”

            “Ye-yes, I’m Oikawa friend,” Oikawa stuttered, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and shaking it jerkily.

            “Well, thank you for coming to get him,” Iwaizumi said, pulling his hand back. “He’s a dumbass for even coming in when he’s sick.”

            “Yeah he-he’s dumb,” Oikawa laughed awkwardly. Iwaizumi just smirked, giving him a raised eyebrow. “I’ll-I’ll take him home now.”

            “Thank you,” Iwaizumi smiled. He gave Kageyama a stern look, “don’t come back until you’re better.”

            “I’m a doctor,” Oikawa choked out suddenly.

            “Oh,” Iwaizumi said surprised. “Then I’m counting on you to make sure he gets better.”

            “Ye-ok!” Oikawa agreed, flushing. Kageyama rolled his eyes as he picked up his bag and walked around the front desk.

            “Come on doctor, take me home so I can nap,” Kageyama said, sniffling. “I’ll see you later Iwaizumi.”

            “Get better dumbass,” Iwaizumi grunted. Kageyama frowned as he pulled Oikawa’s arm as he walked out. They walked over to Oikawa’s car in silence.

            “Thanks for picking me up, I didn’t want to tell Iwaizumi, but I really do feel like shit,” Kageyama said, opening the passenger side door. Oikawa sat in the drivers seat and turned on his car silently. “Oikawa?”

            “Sorry, I’m still trying to regulate my heart beat,” Oikawa said, adjusting the rear view mirror. Kageyama laughed, which led into a coughing fit. “Why didn’t you ever introduce me to your boss before?”

            “Because I didn’t think you’d have such a school girl reaction,” Kageyama wheezed. “ _I_ _’_ _m a doctor! I_ _’_ _m Oikawa friend!_ You’re in your 30’s man.”

            “Shut the fuck up, he was really hot,” Oikawa said, driving toward Kageyama’s apartment. “He was like...damn fucking hell Tobio.”

            “He’s alright,” Kageyama shrugged.

            “Are you blind!?” Oikawa basically screeched. “I hope you stay sick for that blasphemy.”

            “Yeah, whatever,” Kageyama coughed as he lay back, lowering the seat. “I’m closing my eyes, wake me up when we get there.”

* * *

 

            “Ok, so drink soup, drink tea, take a nap and feel better ok?” Oikawa instructed as he threw a blanket over Kageyama on the couch.

            “Ugh, wait,” Kageyama called out sleepily. “Bring me my phone, I put it on the table. I need to text Yachi and beg her to pick Aiko up from school.”

            “Here you go, you drama queen,” Oikawa said, handing him the phone. “But you _need sleep,_ ok?”

            “Yeah, yeah,” Kageyama said, waving him off.

            “No, I’m serious,” Oikawa said seriously. He crossed his arms in front of him, and frowned down at Kageyama. “I’m concerned that you’re immune system might be too compromised because you’ve been over stressed and not sleeping properly. You need to take better care of yourself man.”

            “Ugh, yes mom,” Kageyama groaned.

            “Be snarky all you want, but I’m right Tobio,” Oikawa chided. Kageyama frowned and looked up at a stern looking Oikawa. “You’re not alone in this world Tobio, and you need to take care of yourself with that in mind.” With that, he gave Kageyama a final stern look and walked toward the front door. “Feel better.”

            Kageyama sighed as Oikawa left the apartment. Grabbing the boxes of tissues he placed next to him for easy access, he blew his nose and then took a gulp of his tea. He texted Yachi with a big ***Please*** in bold to get her attention. With a final sneeze, Kageyama lay down on his couch, pulled the cover over him and tried to get some sleep.

            Kageyama managed to fall asleep fairly quickly. His cold seemed to have put him into a deep sleep. Kageyama was only roused hours later by an incessant buzzing. Turning his head in the now dark living room, Kageyama sleepily flailed his arm to reach for his phone, which was angrily buzzing on the coffee table. Trying to speak through his sickness and his grogginess, Kageyama grunted into the phone.

            “Tobio! I’ve been trying to reach you for hours!” Oikawa spoke frantically into the phone.

            “What? Why?” Kageyama grunted still not completely awake. He tried to sit up but the cold had taken hold in his body and his muscles were achy and sore.

            “You need to come to the hospital, I didn’t want to leave Aiko alone here and I’ve been with her since she came in,” Oikawa explained desperately. “But you need to come here, now.” Even in his fever induced haze Kageyama could still feel the panic of hearing that Aiko was in the hospital.

            “Wha-what happened? Why is Aiko in the hospital? What time is it?” Kageyama asked desperately as he forced himself up off the couch and stumbled into his bedroom. Pressing the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, Kageyama began rifling through his drawers throwing clothes, looking for anything he could change into.

            “It’s like 6:30pm, and there’s been a car accident,” Oikawa said a bit more calmly.

            “What? Is Aiko ok? Is Yachi ok?” Kageyama asked manically, ripping off his sweat pants and pulling on jeans.

            “Aiko is ok, just a few cuts and bruises, one kind of long laceration on her leg but otherwise unharmed, but it’s actually -” Oikawa was cut off by Kageyama heaving a sigh of relief.

            “Oh, thank god,” Kageyama heaved, feeling some of the panic rush out of him. “But Yachi, Aiko’s mom, is-is she ok? She was picking up Aiko from school.”

            “No, Aiko came in with Hinata,” Oikawa explained. “He was the one driving. That what I was saying, it’s actually not Aiko who got hurt.” Kageyama felt his face drain of blood and suddenly he felt like Oikawa’s voice was miles away. His hand holding the phone started trembling as he listened to Oikawa. He could feel the panic begin to rise in his throat as he tried to pull on his sweater and run to the front door.

            “I-I’m on my way,” Kageyama croaked as he slammed the door behind him, hanging up with Oikawa. He immediately dialed Tanaka’s number.

          


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that cliffhanger was killer but i'm not going to leave you hanging any longer! 
> 
> thank you to London ([she's super cute and you should follow her ](http://littlemsskeleton.tumblr.com/)) for being my beta for this chapter!!

* * *

            “Kageyama! Aiko, Kageyama! She was in an car accident, what room is she in?” Kageyama questioned frantically as he ran up to the front desk.

            “And you are?” The unperturbed nurse asked from behind the desk.

            “He’s her freaking father,” Tanaka yelled slamming into the desk right next to Kageyama. “What room!?”

            “Are you Tobio, Kageyama?” the nurse asked looking at a post-it note stuck to the edge of the desk.

            “Yes!” Kageyama answered throatily.

            “I was told to alert Dr. Oikawa when you came in, please wait over there,” the blasé nurse said gesturing towards the worn seats against the wall. Kageyama sighed heavily and hung his head as he and Tanaka trudged over to the seats, sitting forcefully in the chairs. Kageyama leaned forward putting his elbows on his knees and cradling his face in his hands. Exhaling deeply, Kageyama could feel his fever burning into his hands from his face. He felt Tanaka rub his hand on his back comfortingly.

            “You said she’s fine right?” Tanaka said softly. “I mean, that’s what your doctor friend said right?”

            “Right,” Kageyama sighed sitting up. “She’s ok, but Hinata’s-” a hitched breath cut himself off. “Why was he driving her? Where’s Yachi? There are still so many things I don’t know.” He tried to take a deep, calming breath, but it didn’t make him feel any better. “Thank you again for driving me here. I left my car at work when Oikawa came to get me.”

            “No problem,” Tanaka said shrugging. “How could I not help you? I fucking told you I was there for you. And I fucking meant it.” Kageyama felt touched by his friends passionate concern, and couldn’t help but smile softly. “But I thought he drove your car,” Tanaka added, leaning back.

            “Why? My car is parked like right in front of the shop,” Kageyama said incredulously.

            “Nope it was gone when I left at 4:30,” Tanaka said shaking his head.

            “Great, my piece of shit car got stolen on top of my daughter and ex boyfriend getting into a car crash,” Kageyama laughed without humor. “Could this day get any better?”

            “Don’t forget that you still have a fever and are super sick,” Tanaka added jokingly. Kageyama couldn’t help but laugh.

            “Fucking hell,” Kageyama laughed. “Thank you, I had almost forgotten that I felt like shit. Thanks for reminding me.”

            “No problem,” Tanaka smiled. Kageyama just rolled his eyes fondly and turned his head to the main staircase just as Oikawa came running down them.

            “Tobio!” Oikawa called out to him waving him over from the top of the stairs. Kageyama tapped Tanaka’s arm to follow him as he ran over to where Oikawa had stopped midway on the large staircase. “Come, Aiko’s up in the recovery rooms. She’s technically not supposed to be there, but I made sure she’s ok and comfortable.”

            “Thank you so much Oikawa, I don’t even know how to begin to repay you,” Kageyama thanked as they climbed the stairs.

            “Well,” Oikawa sighed, “don’t worry about it.”

            “Here, she’s in here,” Oikawa said as they came to a room near the staircase landing. Oikawa opened the door to the room where Aiko was talking with a nurse. “I got it from here, thanks,” Oikawa said quietly to the nurse, who waved goodbye to Aiko and left. Aiko saw Kageyama and burst into tears, sticking her arms out for him. He ran over to her and picked her up and held her tightly to his chest.

            “Oh my god, Aiko I was so worried,” Kageyama cried, feeling his hold on his tears finally break. “I’m so glad you’re ok, I don’t- I just can’t- I thought...” Kageyama sputtered not able to even form a complete thought. He felt his throat constrict; not able to get anymore he tightened his grasp on Aiko and just held her, her crying into his shoulder.

            “Daddy, I was so scared,” Aiko sobbed. Kageyama held her tighter and sat down on the hospital bed, his legs giving out. He pulled back from the hug to look her over. Kageyama brushed her hair aside and checked her arms and face and neck. Upon seeing she only had small cuts and bruises, he kissed her forehead and cheeks.

            “It’s ok, Belly I’m here now,” Kageyama sniffed. “I’m here, and you’re ok. You’re ok,” Kageyama said pressing her into his chest again.

            “I love you, daddy,” Aiko wept, her tiny arms winding around his neck.

            “I love you too, Belly,” he exhaled. They just sat together quietly for a few moments, just holding each other, both just basking in the fact that they were ok and together.

            “Daddy?” Aiko asked sniffling. Kageyama tilted his head down to look at her. “Where’s Hinata?”

            “I-I don’t-” Kageyama stuttered, flustered. He turned to look at Oikawa who was standing quietly in the doorway with Tanaka. “Oikawa?”

            “He-he’s...” he glanced at Aiko warily. “He’s unconscious.” Kageyama could feel the blood drain from his face and he felt weak. “It’s-it’s not as serious as it sounds.” Kageyama could feel himself start to shake but he forced himself not to go into the panic mode he normally went into.

            “Can we see him?” Kageyama asked carefully. He could hear Aiko start to cry into his shoulder. Oikawa looked at him apprehensively before sighing and gesturing for him to follow. Kageyama stood up, and carrying Aiko out following Oikawa and Tanaka towards the elevator. The entire trip to Hinata’s room Kageyama felt himself tremble as Aiko cried messily into his shoulder. He tried to prepare to see Hinata not only for the first time in months, but possibly at his worst, but he couldn’t even imagine his smiling, happy ex-boyfriend anything but whole and ok. But as Oikawa gently opened the door to Hinata’s room, Kageyama felt all the air rush out of him when he looked over to the bed.

            “Oh Shouyou,” Kageyama heard himself whisper walking gingerly over to the bed. Hinata’s head was wrapped in a white gauzy bandage surrounding his forehead down to his left eyebrow. His left arm was in a thick fresh white cast, laid gently on his chest. Kageyama could see dozens of small scrapes and bruises all over his swollen face and arms. Hinata’s delicate breathing was drowned out by the abrasive heart monitor beeping. Slumping into one of the armchairs placed against the wall along the left of the bed, Kageyama felt tears pour involuntarily down his face. Aiko turned in his lap and cried as she saw Hinata. 

            “I did-didn’t know he was coming to get me,” Aiko cried clutching Kageyama’s jacket. Kageyama looked down at her, Aiko’s face covered in tears. “If-if I kn-knew I wou-wouldn’t have been so-so mad,” she cried through hitched breaths.

            “If you knew what Belly?” he asked wiping her tears from her cheek with his sleeve.

            “That he was go-going to get hu-hurt,” Aiko whimpered. “I wou-would have been happier to se-see him.” She broken down and turned into Kageyama’s chest and cried. He just held her and watched Hinata sleep.

            “Kageyama?” Tanaka said softly from next to him. Kageyama looked over at him trying to blink away some of his tears. “Do you want me to stay? Or do you need anything?”

            “No, no I’ll be...” Kageyama wanted to say fine but he knew that he wouldn’t be and he couldn’t even bring himself to say it this time. “You can go home, I don’t want to keep you. Thank you for driving me.”

            “Are you sure?” Tanaka said unsure. Kageyama nodded shakily. “Ok...I’ll let Iwaizumi know about... just don’t worry about coming in tomorrow, ok?” Kageyama thanked him quietly before Tanaka gave him a small smile and left. Oikawa was still standing in the doorway watching him carefully.

            “Here, let me have your phone. I’m going to call Yachi, ok?” Oikawa said sticking his hand out for the phone. Kageyama handed over his phone with a shaky hand. Oikawa left the room quietly and the door softly clicked behind him. Aiko sat up in Kageyama’s lap and wiped her face with back of her hand. Watching her curiously, Kageyama watched as she crawled down from his lap onto the floor and carefully pull the second chair even closer to Hinata’s bed. Pushing the chair up against the bed as close as it could get, she crawled over the armrest and kneeled on the seat of the chair, laying her head down on the bed, fitting her tiny hand into Hinata’s limp right hand. Kageyama felt a fresh wave tears burn behind his eyes watching Aiko settle herself comfortably to hold Hinata’s hand.

            “Are you comfortable?” Kageyama croaked, his throat thick with emotion. He saw Aiko nodded her head as her tiny fingers tightened ever so slightly in Hinata’s hand. He leaned back and pulled off his leather jacket and draped it over Aiko’s body, settling in for a long wait.

* * *

 

            Kageyama didn’t realize he had dozed off until he heard a soft knock on the door that woke him up. Rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands, Kageyama carefully got up and sluggishly shuffled to the door and opened it carefully.

            “Hey,” Yachi whispered softly on the other side of the door. “How is Aiko? Is she ok?” Kageyama sighed when he saw her and enveloped her in a hug, the door clicking closed quietly behind him. Slightly startled, Yachi hugged back warmly, rubbing her hands soothingly on his back. “Hey, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok,” she soothed.

            “I can’t even cry anymore, I don’t think my body can produce anymore tears,” Kageyama mumbled. He pulled back with a sniff, Yachi smiling up at him.

            “The doctor, your friend Dr. Oikawa, he told me Aiko was fine, just a little hurt but mostly frazzled,” Yachi said gently. “How...how is she?”

            “She’s ok,” Kageyama exhaled, running his fingers through his hair. “A few cuts and bruises but for a car accident that’s fucking amazing.”

            “Yeah it is,” Yachi smiled softly. “But if I knew parenting was going to be constant, frantic journeys to the hospital because your child had been hospitalized again I would have invested in better condoms.” Kageyama snorted involuntarily, grateful for the joke.

            “I definitely didn’t know it was going to be like this,” Kageyama said shaking his head. “Maybe I would have pulled out.”

            “I think the benefits outweigh the costs,” Yachi smiled. Her smile changed to a worried frown. “Is...Is Hinata ok?” Kageyama didn’t say anything, but clenched his jaw and looked away, fearing he might break down again.

            “He’s...he’s unconscious,” Kageyama said tightly. “I had a fever and I was sick and that’s why I texted you to pick up Aiko but I don’t know, maybe you didn’t get my text or whatever and the school called him-”

            “Tobio, you didn’t text me,” Yachi interrupted shaking her head seriously. “I would have gone to pick her up and spared you of all this.”

            “But-but I did,” Kageyama looked at her confused. “I texted you.”

            “No look,” Yachi pulled out her phone, and scrolled to her messages. She held up the phone for Kageyama to see. “Here look, last time text from you was yesterday telling me that Aiko was feeling better and she was going to go to school today.” Kageyama just stared at her blankly. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his phone. Clicking to see his messages, he saw his most recent outgoing text; 1:28pm to Hinata.

 **< *Please* can you pick up Aiko from school? I’m home sick with a fever and I can’t get her today. Plus she hasn’t seen you in a bit so it’d be a nice surprise. Please and Thank You** 

            “I haven’t even seen him since... when he and I... now we... like this and it’s because of me,” he stumbled, his thoughts racing. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips. “This text was meant for you and he must have...” he looked over at the door to Hinata’s room feeling his throat start to close. “This is entirely my fault. I put him here. I did this. I-I’m the one who-”

            “You can’t think like that Tobio,” Yachi said reaching up and placing her hands on his cheeks. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye as his breath hitched in his throat. “Look how about I take Aiko to your apartment, ok? You can stay here with Hinata. I promise to drive really careful, no crashes.” Kageyama let out a hard laugh he didn’t know he had in him.

            “Yeah ok,” Kageyama nodded. “We’ve just got to pry Aiko away from Hinata, she’s been holding his hand for...” he looked down at his phone, “two hours.”

            “Wow,” Yachi sighed. “She must have taken this hard.”

            “Please don’t, I don’t think I can take anymore guilt,” Kageyama said putting his hand up. “Just take her home, feed her, and let that poor baby sleep.”

            “Ok, I can do that,” Yachi nodded. They quietly walked into the room, careful not to disturb either sleeping person. Aiko was still curled up, half lying on the bed with Kageyama’s jacket draped over her and her hand tightly in Hinata’s. “Oh, Hinata,” Yachi whispered when she saw his multitude of bandages and cuts.

            “Yeah I know,” Kageyama murmured. “He broke that arm,” he said gesturing to his left arm in the cast.

            “Help me move her,” Yachi whispered. Between the both of them, they moved Aiko without waking either her or Hinata. Yachi draped her sleeping daughter on her chest, placing her head on her shoulder.  Kageyama draped his jacket over the back of the armchair and handed Yachi Aiko’s jacket that Oikawa had brought in earlier. “Thank you,” she mouthed, draping it over Aiko. “I’ll see you later ok?”

            “Ok,” Kageyama mouthed back, nodding slightly. Yachi quietly walked out of the room and the door clicked softly behind her. Without Aiko in the room, Kageyama’s presence seemed almost oppressively obvious. He stood by the bed, watching Hinata’s slim chest rise and fall with his shallow breaths.  Gathering up some courage, Kageyama gently pulled back the chair Aiko had been kneeling on, sat down, and placed his left hand in Hinata’s right. Leaning his right elbow on the bed, he rested his cheek against his fist, lulled into sleep by the monotone beeping of the heart monitor.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [there's more fanart!!!!](http://akaashily.tumblr.com/post/133913081792/fine-so-i-decided-to-draw-aiko-during-chapter) you guys are seriously going to make me cry with all this fanart like honestly i'm so touched.
> 
> speaking of making people cry...this update...

           

* * *

            “...and because I think it’s against hospital policy.”

            “No one stopped me. I just walked in with it.”

            “Just because no one stopped you, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.”

            “Whatever.”

            “My room’s going to smell like Chinese food now.”

            “That’s better that hospital smell.”

            “But it’s supposed to smell like hospital.”

            “Gross.”

            Kageyama awoke to the sound of a quiet conversation happening a little above him. Still not fully awake Kageyama didn’t open his eyes or move at all to indicate that he was awake. He just stayed in the same position that he was in, trying to get himself to fall back asleep.

            “Well, what would you it rather smell like?”

            “I don’t know, something else.”

            “That’s terribly specific, Kenma.”

            Kageyama tried not to react when he heard Kenma’s name. He was suddenly completely awake. He remembered Yachi taking Aiko home and him sitting down at Hinata’s bedside and holding his hand but after that he must have fallen asleep because he couldn’t remember anything. Kageyama tried to very discreetly move his fingers, slowly as if he was still sleeping. He felt the weight of Hinata’s hand still in his. The burning in his chest and throat increased at he thought that Hinata hadn’t removed his hand when he woke up or when Kenma walked in. 

            “Well, anything would be better than this hospital smell,” Kenma said flatly. “Even Chinese food.”

            “I guess,” Hinata shrugged . Kageyama could hear the smirk in his voice. “This hospital isn’t too bad though.”

            “You’re joking, right?”

            “What?” Hinata defended.

            “You’re left arm is broken, you have cuts and bruises everywhere, you were knocked unconscious for hours and you’re saying its not too bad?” Kenma asked incredulously.

            “I didn’t say that being here was not too bad,” Hinata shot back defensively . “I said that the hospital itself isn’t too bad.”

            “We’re talking about the same hospital, right?” Kenma asked  coldly. “The one where your doctor is that guy that he-”

            “Kenma,” Hinata said sternly. “We talked about it. And it’s none of your concern.”

            “Fine, whatever,” Kenma said, annoyed. Kageyama was having a hard time controlling his breathing to seem like he was still sleeping. He could feel his hand tremble in Hinata’s and he could only hope that Hinata didn’t notice. The resounding silence felt louder to Kageyama that the crunching of food, coming from Kenma. “I still don’t understand why you went.”

            “Kenma, I don’t want to have to do this now ,” Hinata sighed.

            “No but seriously,” Kenma swallowed. “3 months of nothing. Then one text of pretty pleases and you’re off?”

            “You wouldn’t understand,” Hinata exhaled heavily.

            “I don’t understand.”

            “What was I supposed to do? Leave her?” Hinata asked.

            “Call her actual other parent to go pick her up?” Kenma retorted.

            “Never mind,” Hinata mumbled dismissively.

            “A car crash Shouyou,” Kenma said seriously. “You got into a car crash. In his car. Driving his kid. That he texted you to go pick up. Don’t you see the common denominator here?”

            “He didn’t know that this was going to happen,” Hinata said.

            “You broke your arm,” Kenma continued. “You were unconscious. You have been seriously injured. You could have been killed-”

            “I know!” Hinata bellowed. Kageyama just tensed all his muscles, but didn’t move an inch. He had no idea what to do. Several moments went by before anyone spoke.

            “Why...why’d you go Shouyou?” Kenma asked softly. “You dropped everything to do something for him, after nothing for months. Why?”

            “You know why,” Hinata said throatily.

            “Still?” Kenma asked after a moment.

            “I don’t think I’ll ever stop,” Hinata sighed. Kageyama felt his heart in his throat. He could barely breath and he was sure he was obviously awake now, but he hoped that the other two were so enwrapped in their conversation  they wouldn't  notice him.

            “I’m glad you’re ok Shouyou,” Kenma said. Kageyama could here the sounds of him getting up. “I’ll see you later ok?”

            “Ok,” Hinata said softly. Kageyama listened for the sounds of Kenma walking out and then the soft click of the door closing behind him. But he still didn’t move. Kageyama didn’t want to move too quickly for fear that Hinata would have realized he had been awake the whole time. He just kept his head lying on his arm on the bed, while his other hand was still firmly in Hinata’s hand.

“You know you can stop pretending now.” Kageyama’s body tensed at the sound of Hinata’s voice directed at him. Slowly, he moved his head and sat up, keeping his hand in Hinata’s. Rubbing his face and with his free hand, and arching his back to stretch Kageyama left out a loud yawn.

            “When did you realize I was awake,” Kageyama asked, looking at Hinata. His wounds seemed more pronounced now that he was awake. The bandage around his head seemed bigger now that he realized part of the gauze fell over Hinata’s eye and it was hard for him to see out of it. The cast on his arm seemed bulkier now that he saw Hinata struggle to keep it rested on his abdomen. All the small cuts and bruises seemed worse as his eyes traveled across Hinata’s arms and face that were covered with them.

            “Oh, almost as soon as you woke up,” Hinata smiled softly and Kageyama felt himself blush. “I mean, I did sleep next to you for months. I kind of know what you look like when you’re sleeping and when you’re not.” Kageyama’s blush deepened and he looked down at his hand still in Hinata’s and removed it gently.

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Kageyama said sheepishly. “But I didn’t really...want to wake up either.”

            “It’s ok,” Hinata reassured softly. “Are you feeling better now? You said you were home sick with a fever and that was only a few hours ago.” Kageyama looked up at Hinata who was looking at him with tenderness despite his many wounds. Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore.

            “I didn’t mean to text you,” Kageyama blurted out. “I thought I was texting Yachi, but I sent it to you instead and I’m so sorry, and this is entirely my fault. I don’t know how to express how sorry I am.”

            “Ah, yeah,” Hinata sighed, looking away, “that text did seem... you know...out of the blue.” Kageyama felt his breathing become more labored. “I didn’t realize it wasn’t for me.” Kageyama looked up at him quizzically.

            “But you said-” Kageyama began.

            “I know,” Hinata interrupted. He sighed and lolled his head back against the pillows propping him up. “I know...what I said.” Kageyama watched him clench his jaw. “But that didn’t mean...I wasn’t... hopeful.”

            “I’m sorry,” Kageyama whispered.

            “Well I did realize, actually, that the text might not have been for me or at least that something was wrong, when I actually got Aiko from school,” Hinata chuckled. Kageyama stared at him confused. “I have never, ever seen such a tiny girl so angry in my life,” Hinata laughed. Kageyama just watched him laugh, unsure of how to react. “Oh Kageyama you should have seen her. She made that face thing, that scrunched up frown that you do. Oh man, she looked that she was going to murder me.” Hinata just laughed and shook his head. “And I don’t blame her, you know. She...she had ever right to be angry with me.”

            “Sh-she told me had she known what was going to happen, she would have been nicer to you,” Kageyama croaked. Hinata just laughed harder.

            “Oh god, she would say that,” Hinata chuckled. “Aiko tries to be all dark and moody- like you- when she’s trying to be tough, but in reality she’s just a sweet little...muffin.”

            “Well,” Kageyama gulped, “you... hurt her. And she’s still mad about it.” Hinata just looked away, holding his lips together in an attempt not to cry. “She held your hand for a couple hours though.” Hinata turned to look at him surprised. “Aiko pulled up this chair actually and kneeled on it so she could rest her head on the bed and hold your hand while you were unconscious. I think she felt guilty.” Hinata couldn’t fight back the tears that slipped down his face.  “She fell asleep holding your hand, and Yachi and I had to pry each finger away because she had such a tight grip.”

            “Well now I’m kind of glad she was so mad at me,” Hinata sniffed. “I’m an asshole.” Kageyama just shrugged, not saying anything. They sat silently for a few minutes, the sounds of the medical equipment the only thing breaking the quiet. “Oh shit, wait, I can’t believe I forgot.” Kageyama looked up at Hinata, raising and eyebrow in confusion. “The car, I’ll pay for it and everything. I’m so sorry. You can borrow my car for as long as you need it.”

            “Wh-what are you talking?” Kageyama asked confused.

            “The car,” Hinata repeated. “The car the I just got into a crash in. Your car.”

            “Wait, you got into the accident in my car?” Kageyama asked, surprised.

            “Didn’t they tell you?” Hinata asked.

            “Um, no,” Kageyama said. “Wait, why were you driving my car?”

            “Well, I got your text and when I left the bakery I realized I didn’t have a car seat... because you know, I took it out of my car because we... I mean I still have it; it’s in my apartment but any-anyway,” Hinata took a deep breath before continuing. “But so went to go to your work cause I thought maybe Tanaka or Iwaizumi had one. I don’t know, it was a long shot but, whatever. But then I saw your car in front of the tattoo shop.” Hinata looked down kind of sheepishly, his fingers tracing nervous patterns in the sheets. “I know I should have taken them out or given them back to you, but you never asked for them back so I just kind of...kept the key to your apartment and the extra car key in my keychain.” He glanced up at Kageyama who was staring him, surprised. “I know that probably sounds really creepy, and I should have handed them back. But I liked to look at the key on my keychain every so often. Sometime I could just almost pretend...”

            “I understand,” Kageyama said softly. Hinata looked at him searchingly.

            “I couldn’t get the car seat out,” Hinata exhaled. “And I wasn’t even sure how to install it in my car even if I did get it out. So I just decided to drive your car.” Hinata let out a deep breath. “I don’t know, it’s still kind of fuzzy but I think I was making a left turn and the car just kind of stalled. And we were hit by an oncoming car.” Kageyama could feel his chest constrict. His breathing became shallow and hitched. His hands trembled where they lay in his lap and he could no longer really see Hinata.

            _The car stalled. My car. My car almost killed him. My car almost killed Aiko. Hinata wasn_ _’_ _t supposed to be driving. It was supposed to be me. I_ _’_ _m supposed to be in this hospital bed. This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all m-_

“-geyama! Kageyama! Tobio!” Hinata shouted, snapping Kageyama’s attention back to him. Kageyama just stared up at him, eyes wide and breathing labored. “This isn’t your fault. You didn’t know.”

            “It-it’s all my fault, it is,” Kageyama whispered, his body trembling. “Y-you could have died. And it’s... it’s my fault.” He began hyperventilating, his chest heaving and his hands furiously shaking.

            “Kageyama, it’s not,” Hinata said, grabbing his face with his right hand. “Look at me, stay with me. I’m ok. I’m alive. Aiko’s ok. Aiko’s alive. You’re not at fault. Cars just break down.” Kageyama was staring at him, but not really seeing him. “Kageyama, I need you to really look at me, ok? I’m fine. I’m safe.”

            “It was supposed to be me,” Kageyama panted. “It was supposed to be me. You were never supposed to get hurt. It was an accident. I sent it to you on accident.”

            “I’m glad it was me,” Hinata said, keeping eye contact. Kageyama shook his head rapidly. “No, I’m serious. Kageyama look at you. You’re sick and overstressed. You would have never come out of that crash as unscathed as I did. You have a fever. This was fate intervening, ok? I was going to survive this crash, but I’m afraid you wouldn’t have. And I can’t-” Hinata voice hitched, “I can’t lose you. Not like that.”

            “Shouyou,” Kageyama breathed, his body relaxing. “I’m still broken.”

            “Me too,” Hinata huffed. Kageyama placed his hands on either side of Hinata’s face, still trembling slightly. Hinata leaned closer and rested his forehead against Kageyama’s. “Kageyama...can you...can you just hold me?”

            “Yes,” Kageyama whispered, nodding slightly. Hinata released his grasp on Kageyama’s face and leaned back against the pillows. Kageyama sat back, and pulled his phone out of his pocket and set it on the stand next to the bed. Toeing off his shoes, Kageyama climbed up onto the bed, careful not the jostle Hinata too much. Hinata moved over, making room for Kageyama on his right side, cradling his left arm in it’s cast against his chest. Settling gently behind him, Kageyama wrapped his arm around Hinata’s waist, pulling him close to spoon him from behind. Hinata shifted back, resting his head on Kageyama’s other outstretched arm along the pillows. With his right hand, Hinata gently pulled the covers over them both and they both closed their eyes to get some much-needed rest.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *this note is important so if you normally skip it please read this one* 
> 
> alright guys, this chapter is going to explain a lot. it's a flashback chapter to the end of that week after kageyama and hinata split up, when hinata told him that he took enough clothes for the week and wasn't going back to the apartment until the end of it.   
> it takes place about 2 months and 3 weeks before the current chapter. i really hope its not confusing but if anyone is confused you can totally message me or comment here and i'd clarify anything. 
> 
> *warning* descriptions of sexual situations

* * *

**2 months and 3 weeks ago**

            Kageyama sunk into the couch with a heavy sigh. He had never felt so tired and emotionally drained before. The stress of his argument with Hinata, and trying to console his depressed child, compounded by his general lack of sleep, Kageyama felt like he was at a breaking point. The pounding in his head was only second to the vast nothingness he felt inside his chest. He sat, head tossed back and eyes closed, trying to keep himself from crying, again. Silent and in a daze, he was only brought back to reality by the soft clicking of the door being unlocked. Turning his head quickly to look at the door, Kageyama watched in shock as Hinata slowly opened the door and walked in. He stood up instantly, just staring at Hinata, as he removed his shoes. Hinata looked up at him, pausing for a second in his movements, before he continued to take a step forward, into the living room.

            “Hey,” Hinata whispered, not really capable of maintaining eye contact. Kageyama just stood there, staring wide-eyed at him.

            “Hi,” Kageyama quavered. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, so he just stood where he was staring at Hinata. Kageyama could feel the burning behind his eyes of tears building.

            “Is...is Aiko asleep?” Hinata whispered, motioning with his head towards Aiko’s room. Kageyama nodded jerkily. “Can...can um, we sit?” Hinata asked nervously. Kageyama sat down quickly on the couch watching in his periphery Hinata carefully walking over and siting down next to him. They sat in silence for a few moments, both of them not sure how to break the quiet first.

            “So how are you?” Kageyama asked tentatively. Hinata let out a sort of dry, bitter laugh.

            “Really? How am I?” Hinata asked, looking at Kageyama. “How would I be?”

            “Sorry, I just wasn’t sure how to start talking,” Kageyama said sheepishly. He looked down at his hands that were folded tightly in his lap. He felt wholly uncomfortable, very cognizant of the poor terms they parted on five days earlier.

            “It’s fine...well, I mean, it’s not fine but you know what I mean,” Hinata sighed. Kageyama felt the burn behind his eyes increase. “We really... are not ok Kageyama.”

            “I know,” Kageyama croaked, his voice thicker than he thought it’d be.

            “We are... we’re hurting each other,” Hinata whispered. “We’re not being honest with each other out of... I don’t know, some sort of warped sense of protection. But it’s just...not...working.”

            “I know,” Kageyama murmured. They sat silently, listening to their own breathing. “We’re not working.”

            “No, no we’re not,” Hinata said quietly.

            “I love you,” Kageyama whispered. He could feel one rebellious tears fall on to his hand. He kept his head bent downward, staring at his lap. Kageyama watched as Hinata threaded his fingers between his. He let out a small breath and another tear fell onto their join hands.

            “I went to Kenma,” Hinata said softly. Kageyama could feel his insides constrict. “When him and I broke up, we still slept together on again, off again. It was...comfortable to me; familiar. So over the weekend, I went to his apartment and I...I kissed him.” Kageyama felt dizzy, like he was floating above his body. “I didn’t sleep with him. But...I kissed him. It was before we broke up, so...that’s... well it’s not good.”

            “I slept with Oikawa,” Kageyama rasped. Hinata turned to look at him, not surprised, but resigned. “Right after we broke up. I stormed out of your bakery and I drove to his apartment. I think I just needed to...feel something that wasn’t anger or frustration or love for you. I hadn’t before, but I did on Monday.” Hinata nodded, looking away. Kageyama waited for him to pull his hand away from his own, but he never did. They sat there, holding hands tenderly, just listening to the soft sounds of the apartment. The silence wasn’t deafening, but almost peaceful; like they knew this was the moment they were going to tell everything.  

            “When I was really little, my dad cheated on my mom,” Hinata said softly, rubbing his thumb on Kageyama’s hand. “Apparently he had been for awhile, but she didn’t find out for years. She would never suspect it, because he would always hold her, and tell her how much he loved her, and be so caring with her.” Kageyama chanced a glance over to Hinata, but he was staring unfocused at something way in front of him. “My mom kicked him out when I was seven- though I didn’t know why until later. But to me, our family always felt...incomplete. I mean I love my mom and sister, but I missed having my dad there too.” Kageyama felt more tears fall down his face, as he tightened his grasp on Hinata’s hand.

            “All I ever wanted was to be a dad, so I could be there for my child and take care of them in the way my father didn’t.” Kageyama watched as a tear slipped down Hinata’s face. “I was with Kenma for four years. I really thought that he could have been...but he didn’t want children. At all. Our whole relationship was just going to be the two of us. And every time I mentioned possibly having kids, to see if he changed his mind...it’s was a no every time. How could our relationship have been serious if it was only ever going to be about what he wanted? I wanted a family. He didn’t. There was no compromising it was just... We weren’t serious. And then I met you.” Hinata turned and looked up at Kageyama, who was crying in earnest now. “You were everything I’ve ever wanted. When we were together, I felt like I could finally have this family I was dreaming of, with the most perfect person for me. And you kept me at arm’s length. You and Aiko were everything I had ever wanted and you dangled it in front of me just out of reach.”

            “I didn’t mean to,” Kageyama sobbed quietly. “I love you.”

            “But you did,” Hinata whispered, tears falling down his face. “Just because you told me you loved me didn’t mean I believed it. I learned early on that just because someone says that, it doesn’t mean they meant it.”

            “But I did,” Kageyama cried, “I do mean it. I only kept back from you to protect you. I love you.”

            “Protect me from what?” Hinata asked, confused.

            “From me,” Kageyama wept. “I tried so hard to keep you from worrying about me. I couldn’t have you worry about me.”

            “But I do worry about you,” Hinata whispered, caressing Kageyama’s face as he cried. “I spent so much of my time worried about you.”

            “It didn’t work,” Kageyama sobbed. “I tried to keep you away from all the broken parts of me, I tried. I was only trying to protect you. Because if-if you really saw how broken I am you wouldn’t want me. And I’m so broken Shouyou; beyond your repair. I tried so hard to hold on to you for as long as I could bu-but I couldn’t. I lose everyone.”

            “Who did you lose, Tobio?” Hinata breathed, holding Kageyama’s cheek with his hand.

            “Everyone,” Kageyama said faintly. “I lost my mom when I was eight. I lost my dad when I was nineteen. I even lost Yachi to an extent. I lose everyone.”

            “Tobio,” Hinata breathed stunned. “Wh-why wouldn’t you want to tell me that? How would not knowing that protect me?”

            “Because then you’d know that no one stays with me,” Kageyama wept. Hinata just stared at him horrified, tears streaming down his face. “My mom she...she asphyxiated in front of me when I was eight. She just... stopped breathing and I couldn’t do anything to help her. Her face turned blue. It was... horrifying.” He looked over at Hinata, who was staring at him wide-eyed and mesmerized. “I had these horrible nightmares. I’d wake up screaming and crying and gasping for air, watching my mom die over and over again. They would last for months at a time, and then stop. But every time they came back they’d be worse and worse.” Kageyama took a deep breath and tried to steady his breathing.

             “I became this... constant source of stress for my dad. Between the death of his wife, and my nightmares and poor behavior, he just... couldn’t handle it,” Kageyama said breathing erratically. He felt Hinata’s hand on his back, rubbing large, soothing circles to try to calm him. “I saw what worry and stress could do to someone. And I worried him into the ground. He died of a stress-induced aneurism in his brain; that was entirely my fault. My fault, Hinata; I did that. I knew I couldn’t let anyone worry about me the same way ever again. I managed to... hide it. I didn’t even tell Yachi, I couldn’t have her knowing. I-I couldn’t let you know because I couldn’t let you worry about me.” Kageyama felt himself not being able to take in enough breath, and he gasped for air. “But wh-when Yachi called me and told me that Aiko almost asphyxiated to death I just-” a sob cut Kageyama off. He cried messily into his hands as Hinata rubbed his back. “It was like I watched my mom die all over again. Suddenly  I was eight years old and I couldn’t do anything to save her. Everything that I managed to push away for years, just came crashing down. The nightmares, the stress, the insomnia, all of it came back and I couldn’t stop it.” Kageyama wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he turned to look up at Hinata, who was crying heavily.

            “I just didn’t want you to worry,” Kageyama whispered. “I saw what it did to my dad and I just...I just couldn’t have you worry about me. I cared about you too much.” Kageyama cupped Hinata’s cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I love you.”

            “But you made me feel like I wasn’t enough for you,” Hinata wept. “I wanted to worry about you. You should have let me worry about you. I want all the parts, even the one’s you think are broken.”

            “I’m sorry,” Kageyama cried. “I didn’t know what else to do. You were perfect and I tried to keep away from anything I was afraid might taint your perception of me.”

            “But don’t you see that it backfired?” Hinata sobbed, his tears streaming down his face. “Don’t you see that I thought worse of you because I could feel you were hiding something from me?”

            “I know, I know,” Kageyama whispered shaking his head. “That’s my fault, this is all my fault.”

            “Babe, it’s not all your fault,” Hinata consoled, pulling Kageyama closer to him by his shirt. “We both share the blame here, I should have known. I should have realized that there was something.” Kageyama cried as he rested his forehead against Hinata’s shoulder.

            “I love you,” Kageyama whispered in a wretched sob . Hinata tugged him towards his face and close the distance between them. With desperation, Kageyama pulled Hinata toward him, deepening the kiss. Hinata kissed back with as much need and passion as Kageyama. They both gripped each other tightly, trying to get as close as they possibly could. Kageyama wove his fingers in Hinata hair, tilting his head trying to get the best angle to kiss him. Hinata ran his hands down Kageyama’s chest, settling them on his hips as he moved to straddle Kageyama’s lap.

            Bringing his hands down, Kageyama began removing Hinata’s jacket. Hinata let himself be disrobed, pulling away for a moment to lift his sweater and shirt over his head. Kageyama kissed his chest as Hinata tossed his clothes on to the other side of the couch. Connecting their lips again, Hinata lowered his hips, grinding down on Kageyama’s lap. Kageyama placed his hands on either side of Hinata’s hips, keeping a steady pressure on their groins . Letting out a sudden moan, Hinata arched his back while he moved his hips sinuously.

            “Shush,” Kageyama whispered against Hinata’s skin. “We have to be quiet.” Hinata nodded, moving his hands to start unbuckling his pants. Kageyama lowered the hem of his sweat pants just enough to free his painfully hard cock from his boxers.

            “Ok, sorry,” Hinata mumbled, fumbling with his jeans. “I don’t think I’m going to last very long.” Hinata pulled out his cock and began stroking it. Kageyama grabbed both of them in one hand and fit them together, stroking in tandem with their thrusts. Hinata bent and fit his mouth at the base of Kageyama’s neck as he raked his nails down Kageyama’s back. He nipped and sucked at the skin there as Kageyama pumped them together. Kageyama kept his right hand around both their cocks, stroking them while he slid his left hand down Hinata’s spine, pressing him closer.

            “I-I’m going to co-come,” Kageyama choked, shutting his eyes. Hinata’s nails dug harder as they scratched down his back. Their breathing became harsh and irregular as they approached their climax. With a breathy gasp, Hinata came, quickly followed by Kageyama. Stroking them through the end of their orgasm, Kageyama leaned back against the couch just as Hinata slumped against him. His hand, covered in their come, stuck between them as they caught their breath.

            “Let me get you something to clean your hand with,” Hinata mumbled getting up from Kageyama’s lap. He put himself back into his pants as he walked quietly into the kitchen. Kageyama just sat on the couch, listening to Hinata soft footsteps wishing that he didn’t know that this would be the last time he’d hear them. “Here, let me,” Hinata said softly, wiping Kageyama down with a damp paper towel. He walked back into the kitchen to throw it away as Kageyama adjusted himself back into his pants. Hinata came and sat down next to him pulling his shirt and sweater back on.

            “Aiko’s been asking about you,” Kageyama whispered after a moment. “She cries every time she comes into the kitchen now. She calls it Hinata’s space.”

            “I’m sorry,” Hinata said softly. “I never wanted to hurt her, she just unfortunately got caught in the cross fire.”

            “She loves you,” Kageyama said turning to look at Hinata. “Aiko doesn’t really understand what’s happening between us, she just thinks that her dad is mad at her.”

            “But you’re there for her, it’s just me that’s gone,” Hinata said, looking down at his hands.

            “You’re the dad I’m talking about!” Kageyama cried, raising his voice too loud. “To her, you’re her other dad, and you left her.” Hinata looked up at him, eyes wide and searching. His bottom lip trembled as Kageyama stared him down.

            “I...I didn’t... she’s,” Hinata stumbled, not sure what to say.

            “And I know that this is best for us,” Kageyama sighed looking away. “But as much as I try to explain that to her, she’s not going to understand.”

            “We’re just not healthy together Tobio,” Hinata sniffed. “We’re broken parts that don’t fit together.”

            “I know,” Kageyama said, his eyes filling with tears.

            “And this hurts,” Hinata cried, wiping his eyes with the palm of his hand. “Because I love you. I love you more than anything.” Kageyama turned his head quickly, to look at Hinata. He was crying into his hands, breathing in short bursts. Kageyama felt his whole chest ache and his limbs tremble as he watched Hinata sob.  He felt tears slide down his face, but he couldn’t do anything about them. “I’ve loved you for so long and I’ve been so afraid to tell you. I knew that I was going to love you back when we went to see my mom. I even told Kenma as much. I knew, and I was so hurt that you wouldn’t let me in.” Hinata let out a particularly harsh sob. “It was so hard to convince myself that you meant it when you said you loved me, when you wouldn’t let me in.”

            “But I did,” Kageyama whispered. “I meant it- I mean it.”

            “I know,” Hinata said sniffling. “But that doesn’t mean we’re fixed.”

            “I understand,” Kageyama nodded brushing his hand against Hinata’s cheek. Hinata looked up at him, eyes watery and red from crying. “So this is goodbye.”

            “It is,” Hinata whispered, “But we can’t leave angry.” He tenderly lifted his head, and kissed Kageyama softly. “I love you,” he breathed as he pulled away. Kageyama brushed Hinata’s hair back as he kissed his cheeks tenderly.

            “I love you,” Kageyama murmured into Hinata’s skin. Hinata pulled his head back and gave Kageyama a small smile before standing up and walking to the bedroom. Kageyama just sat, head spinning and dazed on the couch, while Hinata packed up the rest of his clothes.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i have a few things to say so bare with me here
> 
> one, the response to the previous chapter has been amazing. i'm so glad that it wasn't confusing as a feared it would be and that it totally explained all the unknown parts of the story. i hope that now, those who thought that kagehina was not a plausible endgame anymore can be persuaded to believe so now. also i hope it cleared up any doubts or questions about them and their backstories and made their actions makes a bit more sense now. 
> 
> two, this chapter has mention of the SunFlour Bakery t-shirt and Nick (the best beta in the world) had the marvelous idea to actually make the t-shirt. sooo... if you would to purchase the shirt [here's what the logo looks like and the shirt comes in a golden yellow color](http://accordingtomyresearch.tumblr.com/post/134359887430/chambe5r-the-5-is-silent-nick-had-the-wonderful), and if you would like to purchase one please message [me](http://accordingtomyresearch.tumblr.com/) or [Nick](http://chambe5r-the-5-is-silent.tumblr.com/) on tumblr and we'd be more than happy to talk to you about it!! 
> 
> lastly, we are coming to the end of this fic from here maybe only a handful of chapters are left. and i'm going to say my goodbyes just yet i just wanted everyone to know that it's all ending soon.....but i'm in the processes of writing another fic lol

* * *

Two **months and 3 weeks later (the present)**

“But should I wake them?”

            “No mom, literally why would you do that?”

            “Because he’s my son, and I want to make sure he’s ok?”

            “But that doctor, the hot one, he said Shouyou was in really good condition, right?”

            “Yes, but I still want to talk to Shou, make sure he’s fine for myself.”

            “He obviously looks fine, I mean they’re...or I don’t know actually. I thought they broke up. I’m kind of confused.”

            “Yeah I thought so too, but I don’t know. Your generation has odd romantic practices that I don’t really understand.”

            “No, I’m pretty sure they just broke up. I garnered that information by the way Shou told me ‘we broke up’ about 3 months ago.”

            “Well, I guess.  I still think we should wake him up. I brought him breakfast, he should eat something; I know how bad hospital food can be.”

            “Mom, he just got into a car crash. He needs to sleep.”

            “No, too late, I’m awake,” Hinata mumbled sleepily. Kageyama was still in a state between sleep and wakefulness where he wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming the conversation between what he thought was Hinata’s mom and sister. He heard Hinata speak next to him and then vaguely felt him twist slightly out of his grasp and sit up more properly. “I’m awake now.” Kageyama felt Hinata sit up and lean against the pillows behind him, keeping Kageyama’s arm draped over his lap and placed his hand gently on Kageyama’s head.

            “Oh, Shou,” Kageyama heard Hinata’s mom coo, “I was so worried, I came as soon as I could.” Kageyama felt the bed dip slightly as Yuki pulled Hinata into a hug.

            “Thanks mom,” Hinata rasped.

            “You feeling ok Shou?” Natsu asked lightly.

            “Um, better than I thought I’d feel,” Hinata said, adjusting himself to a seated position that didn’t move Kageyama too much. “Although they have been giving me some amazing pain meds, so that might actually be it.”

            “How’s your arm sweetie?” Yuki asked tenderly.

            “Um, broken,” Hinata sighed. “I also have bruised ribs and laceration on my forehead but you know...it could have been worse.”

            “I know, the doctor, Dr. Oikawa, he told me. I was beyond worried,” Yuki said emotionally. Kageyama felt heaviness in his chest hearing the extent of Hinata’s injuries. “You are so lucky that it wasn’t worse.”

            “We were so worried Shou,” Natsu said quietly. Kageyama felt like he was intruding on a familial moment that he wasn’t privy to.

            “But Aiko, how is she? I hope she is ok, she’s so small and I have been terribly concerned,” Yuki added.

            “She actually made out a lot better than I did,” Hinata said thankfully. “She was in her car seat that, honestly the EMT guys couldn’t even get her out of. She was so secure in that thing I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if she wasn’t in that car seat.” Kageyama’s heart started beating out of his chest at the mention of Aiko in the car crash. To think that something so small as a car seat saved his daughter’s life made his body tremble.

            “Oh, thank god,” Yuki exhaled. “I don’t even want to think about that little girl getting hurt. Is she in the hospital still? I brought her some cookies.”

            “Um, no she went home with her mom, but I’m sure Kageyama can bring her the cookies. Right, Kageyama?” Hinata asked, running his fingers through Kageyama’s hair.

            “No don’t wake him he’s had a horrible-”

            “He’s literally awake right now,” Hinata interrupted, brushing Kageyama’s fringe out from in front of his face. Kageyama cracked one eye open and looked up at Hinata who looked down at him with a small smirk on his face. “Good morning.”

            “Good morning,” Kageyama whispered, his voice still scratchy from sleep. Sitting up gingerly, Kageyama adjusted himself to be seated up next to Hinata on the bed. “Uh, good morning Yuki...Natsu.” Kageyama wasn’t sure how to act towards them. He worried that they only thought of him as Hinata’s ex boyfriend, who for some undisclosed reason was sleeping in his hospital bed.

            “Oh, Tobio,” Yuki cried, throwing her arms around his neck and bringing him forward for a hug. “I was worried sick about your daughter. I do hope Aiko is ok. Thank you so much for staying with Shouyou. It means a lot that he has someone to care about him enough to stay with him until morning.”

            “Um, yes, thank you. It was the least I could do...” Kageyama trailed off, still unsure of what to say. “Er, did you say 'stay until morning'?”

            “Yeah, it’s about 7am right now,” Natsu said, looking at her phone.

            “Shit,” Kageyama mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He could still feel the slight pressure behind his eyes from the headache he had earlier and the fevered heat emanating from his forehead still hadn’t dissipated.

            “When did you get here, Tobio?” Yuki asked him.

            “Um, I think it was somewhere around 6pm or so, yesterday,” Kageyama answered. “I honestly don’t really remember. It’s all been kind of a blur.”

            “He’s been here for a while with me. With a fever,” Hinata added, looking over at Kageyama.

            “A fever?” Yuki repeated, appalled. “Tobio you need to go home, get some proper rest.”

            “No, I’m fin-”

            “Tobio,” Hinata interrupted softly. Kageyama turned towards Hinata who looked at him like he was not going to allow him to say he was fine. “Go home. I’ll be ok here. Get some rest and make sure Aiko is ok. And I’m...I’m so sorry.”

            “I...are you sure?” Kageyama asked, uncertain. Hinata nodded softly. “Ok, but I’m going to come back, alright?” Kageyama carefully got out of the bed, moving slowly and deliberately trying not to trigger any dizziness. After getting his shoes back on and grabbing his phone and jacket, Kageyama stood up from the bed.

            “Please feel better Tobio,” Yuki said, coming around and reaching up, taking his face in her hands. “Oh, you definitely have a fever,” she said feeling his face. “Go home, get plenty of rest and get better. You have to take care of yourself too.”

            “Thank you, I will try,” Kageyama said a bit uncomfortably. He turned to Hinata who was watching them both with a soft smile. “I’m coming back. I’ll bring Aiko.”

            “Oh,” Hinata said, startled at the last thing. He looked a bit surprised and unsure. “I-I’d... ok. Yeah, please bring Aiko. I’d um... I would like to see her.”

            “It’s mutual,” Kageyama said tenderly.

            “Let me drive you home,” Natsu insisted,  patting his shoulder.

            “Go get rest, we’ll be here with him,” Yuki said softly, setting her hand on his arm.

            “Ok, I’m going,” Kageyama sighed, pulling on his jacket. After only a second of hesitation, Kageyama bent down and put his hand gently on the nape of Hinata’s neck and placed a small kiss of Hinata’s bandaged forehead. “I’m coming back,” Kageyama whispered softly, just loud enough for Hinata to hear.

            “I’ll be here,” Hinata whispered back with a soft smile. Kageyama couldn’t help but smile softly back.

* * *

 

            “You moron, I would have come to get you,” Yachi berated Kageyama as he walked into the apartment.

            “It’s fine, his sister gave me a ride here,” Kageyama sighed, pulling off his jacket. “Where’s Aiko? Hinata’s mom brought some cookies for her.” Yachi walked over and took the container of cookies from him.

            “She’s still asleep,” Yachi said. “Something you should be doing too. Oikawa told me you have a fever.”

            “Um yes, I do,” Kageyama said, placing his hand on his forehead. Yachi reached up, moving his hand aside and placed her hand there, to feel for a fever.

            “Why didn’t you tell me, I would have brought you medicine or something?” Yachi asked, annoyed, removing her hand from his forehead.

            “To be fair, I’ve been a bit preoccupied,” Kageyama said. Yachi nodded begrudgingly. “Look, I need to pee, take a shower and sleep, in that order. When Aiko wakes up, tell her she’s not going to school for the rest of the week.”

            “I’ll call the school, ok?” Yachi nodded. “Let them know, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

            “Thank you Hitoka,” Kageyama said gratefully. “You are all kinds of amazing.”

            “I know,” Yachi smiled brightly. “I’m amazing. I even did your laundry and did your dishes.”

            “Oh god yes, thank you so much,” Kageyama exhaled happily.

            “Yeah, go shower,” Yachi said, pushing him towards the bathroom. Kageyama shuffled tiredly over to the bathroom. He barely even registered getting undressed and turning on the shower before he was standing under the stream of water. The scalding water felt amazing on his skin as he scrubbed himself down. Turning his face slightly away from the water, Kageyama let it stream down his body, just basking in its warmth. By the time he finished in the bathroom the water had started to run a bit cold. Stepping out of the shower, Kageyama wrapped a towel around his waist, taking other of the freshly washed towels and drying his hair. Stepping into his bedroom, Kageyama quietly closed the door behind him. His bed has about two large piles of clean, folded clothes neatly stacked, side by side. Just looking for something to sleep in, Kageyama grabbed whatever looked the most comfortable. Pulling on briefs, sweatpants and a t-shirt Kageyama threw his towels in the hamper. He grabbed his phone and walked past his dresser to close the window when something in the mirror caught his attention. After pulling the curtains closed, he took a slight step back so he could get a better look at himself in the mirror above the dresser. Kageyama looked down at his t-shirt in the mirror. He wore a bright yellow t-shirt with a giant sunflower growing out of a bag of flour. Taking a moment to appreciate the irony of him picking that shirt today, Kageyama touched the design lightly.

            _I_ _’_ _m pretty sure this was buried at the bottom of the hamper. Either Yachi did a really thorough cleaning job or the universe has a sick sense of humor._

Kageyama felt the small pricking of emotion behind his eyes as he thumbed the hem of the shirt. He remembered when he first got the shirt, just about two months into them dating and Hinata came to the apartment with a small gift for Aiko. She had been beyond excited when she opened the bag to find a child-sized version of the SunFlour t-shirt for her to wear. Aiko spent the rest of the day and night in it, refusing to wear any other shirt until bedtime. By the time Kageyama had gotten her changed into pajamas in and into bed, she had spent the entire day talking about her new shirt.

            “I didn’t think she’d like it so much,” Hinata said as Kageyama closed the door behind him. “I mean, it’s just a shirt right?” Hinata added almost dismissively. He sat on the bed, his knees pulled up to his chest as he watched Kageyama change his clothes.

            “Well, I don’t think it’s _just a shirt_ ,” Kageyama said, pulling off his pants. “It’s something to remind her of you. It’s, you know, cute.” Pulling on his t-shirt, Kageyama looked over at Hinata who was smirking on the bed.

            “I was kind of hoping you’d feel that way,” Hinata said happily. Kageyama watched him reach down to the floor and pick up a small bag, similar to the one that Hinata handed to Aiko. “For you,” he said, tossing the bag to Kageyama.

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said, catching it awkwardly. He opened the bag slightly to reveal a yellow t-shirt with the SunFlour logo beautifully printed on the front. Kageyama pulled it out, setting the bag on the dresser next to him and held the shirt so he could see it better.

            “I know you don’t exactly wear yellow, or color for that matter,” Hinata rushed as Kageyama took in the shirt. “But I kind of just thought, I don’t know what I thought exactly, but I had one in your size and I really wanted you to have one, but now that I’m thinking about it, it doesn’t make any sense- and what are you doing?” Hinata asked, cutting himself off. Kageyama placed the t-shirt on the bed and quickly pulled off his shirt. Exchanging it for the SunFlour t-shirt, Kageyama turned to admire himself in the mirror.

            “I’m wearing it,” Kageyama said matter-of-factly, looking at Hinata through the mirror. “I love it.” Hinata’s face lit up when he made eye contact with Kageyama.

            “Oh, ok cool-good, I’m glad,” Hinata stumbled awkwardly. Kageyama turned and twisted in the mirror trying to take in every angle of himself in what he always thought of in his mind as ‘Hinata’s Shirt’.

            “I look weird in yellow,” Kageyama said after a moment, turning around to face Hinata.

            “You look really hot,” Hinata smirked. Kageyama just scoffed and shook his head. “But you’d look hot in anything; you look hot naked.” Kageyama just smiled, blushing slightly as he walked over to the bed and turned off the lamp.

            “Thank you for the shirt,” Kageyama whispered as he crawled into bed and pulled Hinata close to him. “Now I have something to remind me of you.”

            “Like you could forget me,” Hinata sighed faintly, laying his head on Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama laughed softly, running his fingers down Hinata’s spine, listening to Hinata’s soft breathing until they fell asleep.

            As Kageyama remembered their conversation, standing and watching himself stare at the shirt in the mirror, he could feel the burn of emotion and nostalgia in his throat. Just looking at the emblem made his chest constrict with uncomfortable tightness. He tore his eyes away from his reflection and walked out into the bathroom. Opening up the medicine cabinet, he pulled out the first fever sleep aid he saw. Using water from the sink, he downed two pills and then trudged back into his bedroom, closing the door behind him and throwing himself into bed.

 


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look who is alive!!! 
> 
> i'm so sorry guys, i don't think i can even express how busy i have been these past two weeks like honestly, i'm not even sure how i'm alive right now. I have been super busy preparing my senior thesis but i'm almost done and i only have a few days left in the semester so YAY!! 
> 
> i know i left you guys hanging but since i actually finished writing this whole thing (yes it's over and i'm sad about) i'm just going to be doing updates hopefully like everyday until it's over. 
> 
> also to all those who reached out to me about the t-shirts, first of all thank you i had no idea there would be so many of you, and second of all as soon as my semester is over i'm going to dive into preparing the orders so hold out just a few more days. if you have any questions, comments, concerns feel free to message me on tumblr

* * *

**Friday**

           It was 6:30am and Kageyama was not tired. Actually, he felt marginally better. Surprisingly better. He opened his eyes slowly and let them adjust to the dim light in his bedroom. Getting up slowly, Kageyama walked sleepily into the bathroom. As he used the bathroom and brushed his teeth, he heard the soft sounds of someone moving around in the kitchen and he went to investigate.

            “Oh look who’s awake,” Yachi said turning around to face Kageyama as he walked into the kitchen.

            “Um, how long was I asleep for?” Kageyama asked hoarsely, leaning against the wall.

            “Uh, only about a day,” Yachi said dismissively. Kageyama gawked at the time while Yachi just turned back to the counter. “I had to check on you a couple times to make sure you weren’t dead.”

            “A day?” Kageyama clarified, shocked.

            “Yeah,” Yachi nodded. “You’re body must have really needed sleep. I mean, the stress the being sick, the emotional trauma; it gets to be too much at some point. You just needed to check out for a bit. It’s cool, I was here.”

            “Yeah I guess,” Kageyama breathed still in shock at how long he slept for. “Thank you for doing all this, and staying. I really appreciate it.”

            “I know you do,” Yachi said turning around and smiling at him. “Here,” she walked over a bowl of fruit that she had been cutting up at the counter, “eat this and drink some tea. You need to replenish your vitamins after sleeping so long.”

            “Thank you,” Kageyama said taking the fork from Yachi and sitting at the table. “How’s Aiko?”

            “She’s alright,” Yachi said sitting across from him. “A little antsy to do _something_ as she says. She wanted to wake you up like 400 times yesterday and it was really hard to get her to leave you alone so you could rest.”

            “And thank you for that. I do feel a lot better,” Kageyama said shoving a fork full of fruit into his mouth.

            “Good, you looked horrible,” Yachi said grabbing a chunk of pineapple and popping in her mouth. Kageyama made a face at her. “What? It’s true you did. I was really worried you know. I swear I worry more about you than I do anyone else sometimes.”

            “Fantastic,” Kageyama sighed. “That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”

            “Well it’s true,” Yachi said grabbing another pineapple chunk. “I care about you, you big moron. And part of me caring about you is spending 90% of the time that I think about you in a state of worry or concern. Its just part of the territory.” Kageyama felt his appetite leave him, and he just pushed around the pieces of fruit in the bowl. “Look, I don’t mean to upset you but like, you know it’s ok for people to worry about you right? I mean, don’t you worry about Aiko? Or Me? Or Hinata?”

            “Of course I do,” Kageyama said matter-of-factly.

            “Then why would it be different if people worried about you?” Yachi pressed, leaning back in the chair. Kageyama squirmed in his seat, trying to come up with a reason to disagree but came up empty. Yachi saw his uncomfortableness and decided to change the subject. “So, your car...what are you going to do about it?”

            “Honestly I have no idea,” Kageyama exhaled putting his fork down. “I’m not even sure where it is. Or the level of damage.”

            “You probably have to call the police or something. Find out the information on the accident report,” Yachi said. “Honestly I have no idea.”

            “Yeah me neither,” Kageyama sighed folding his arms across his chest. “And it’s like the last thing I want to do, but I know I have to deal with it.” Yachi nodded sympathetically. “I also told Hinata I would come back to see him, but that apparently was yesterday. So I don’t know if he thinks I’m ignoring him or whatever.”

            “I don’t think he thinks you’re ignoring him,” Yachi chided.

            “You know what I mean,” Kageyama said indignantly. “I’m not...exactly...sure where we stand. So I don’t want to make some stupid mistake and, I don’t know, ruin everything.”

            “Do...do you want to get back together with him?” Yachi asked carefully.

            “I...don’t know,” Kageyama strained. “I mean think I do, I love him. And...I think...he loves me still, I’m pretty sure of that. But who knows. We could just be those people who never find each other at the right time and therefore never get that perfect chance. Or maybe we’re just not good together like we decided earlier.”

            “But you were good together,” Yachi said confused. “I mean every couple fights, that’s normal.”

            “Yeah couples fight, that is normal,” Kageyama agreed. “But we were just... not... honest with each other. Like, you and Yamaguchi, you guys are honest with each other right? You tell each other things?”

            “Yes, I’d like to think so,” Yachi agreed.

            “Well, Hinata and I would just keep things from each other,” Kageyama said incredulously. “Just, all the time. Because we were ‘protecting one another’, which is honestly the flimsiest excuse for: _I can’t be emotionally open with my partner because I think I’m fucked up,_ I’ve ever heard.” Kageyama sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “So yes fighting is normal. We fought; normal. We also were extremely withholding with each other; abnormal.”

            “But is everything out in the open now?” Yachi asked. “Everything you guys were keeping from each other, do you guys know it now?”

            “Well, yes,” Kageyama said. “When we broke up, that night it kind of all came out in the open.”

            “So what’s stopping you now?” Yachi questioned. “If it’s all laid out, why aren’t you guys trying to work it out?” Kageyama just gawped at her for a few moments.

            “Be-because it’s not...”Kageyama stumbled. “We... we decided that we weren’t, you know, good together. I love him but... that-that’s not enough.”

            “Why not?” Yachi shrugged. Kageyama looked at her confused.

            “Because it’s not,” Kageyama insisted. “It’s just not. There are other factors, and other things to consider. Because I love him isn’t reason enough.”

            “But you love him,” Yachi pressed. “You love him and you’re just going to leave him alone? Without even trying? Not even a little bit? Doesn’t it hurt to not be with him?”

            “Doesn’t it hurt?” Kageyama repeated incredulously. “Doesn’t it hurt!? Of course it hurts! It’s the worst pain imaginable! I wake up everyday with this void in my chest, and I know exactly what’s missing and I know that I can never fill it. And I see him everywhere; in the way that I’m still in the habit of making enough tea for two in the mornings, in the way that I find myself buying the brand of laundry detergent that he liked, in the way that the kitchen seems empty and weird without him making a mess. For fucks sake, I’m wearing a shirt he gave me!” Kageyama cried pulling in the collar of his SunFlour t-shirt.

            “So yeah, it hurts. But you know what hurts more?” Kageyama continued.  “The thought that I need him a lot more than he needs me. He wanted a family, but he can get that from almost anyone; he didn’t _need_ me for that. I needed someone who would love me and all that I came with, broken parts and all. I’m not going to find that again so easily. So no, I can’t bare the thought of me trying to ‘make it work’ with him, only to be shut down because he knows we don’t work. So if protecting myself, and more importantly Aiko, from certain heartbreak again means leaving him alone, then so be it. I can deal with a little pain if that means I can protect everyone from that again.” Kageyama just exhaled deeply and settled back in his chair. The silence between him and Yachi was thick and filled with tension.

            “You’ve really thought this out,” Yachi said, her question sounding more like a statement. Kageyama nodded slightly, still breathing deeply. “Wow,” she sighed running her fingers through her bangs, “you are...very different.”

            “What do you mean?” Kageyama asked confused.

            “You...thought this through,” Yachi said slowly. “I’m surprised, is all.” Kageyama look at her wanting her to elaborate. “Tobio, you’re the same guy who asked me to marry you when I got pregnant. You got into tattooing on a whim in college. You’re the guy who, when we were together, would just get an impulse to, I don’t know, go get a burger at 3 in the morning and then actually go do it. Tobio, you were always kind of impulsive and jumped first before looking. I’m just surprised to see you’ve changed that much.”

            “Um, well yeah,” Kageyama said. “I mean... I’m a dad now. I can’t just get up and go do something whenever I want to. Same goes for my relationships. I mean sure, it’d be super fun, I guess, to just sleep around because I can, but I have to think of how that’d affect Aiko. I have to think of her first; what’s best for her. So you know, I love him...but it’s not enough.”

            “I understand, I’m just,” Yachi gave him a soft smile, “surprised.” Kageyama shrugged, sighing as his crossed his arms in front of him. “But can I just play devils’ advocate for a second here?”

            “Ok...”Kageyama said warily.

            “What if you abstaining from developing a relationship, what is that’s not what’s best for Aiko?” Yachi posed carefully.

            “What are you saying?” Kageyama asked.

            “I’m saying that kids do better with happy parents,” Yachi said. Kageyama felt his chest tighten remembering his overstressed, worrisome dad. “And she’s a tough little kid, but she’s just that Tobio, a kid. One who notices when her parent isn’t at their best.”

            “I try never to let my stress, or my insecurities, or my fears, or my whatever’s affect Aiko in anyway,” Kageyama defended. “Aiko is my foremost concern.”

            “Tobio, I know that,” Yachi said putting up a hand in defense. “And she knows that too. You’re a great dad. I know you try your hardest to make sure Aiko knows everything is ok. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t notice when it isn’t.”

            “What do you mean she notices?” Kageyama asked, with growing concern.

            “Well, she’s smart Tobio. You don’t think she notices when you’re not well or struggling?” Yachi said. “When you were asleep she told me ‘I’m glad daddy’s sleeping because he doesn’t do that anymore.’ And I had to sit there nodding my head like I knew what she was talking about, even though I had no clue you were having that much trouble sleeping.” Kageyama just looked away sheepishly.

            “I...I haven’t really slept well since Aiko was in the hospital...the first time,” Kageyama said carefully. “It’s just...I’m getting better.”

            “Ok,” Yachi said slowly. “But I just want you to know that she picks up on that and she knows you’ve been having trouble. She told me Tobio, about how you’ve barely slept, how you used to wake up screaming, how you are so out of it sometimes that she has to yell to get your attention. Tobio, she notices. And she needs you to be happy. And you’re...not...happy.” Kageyama stared at her open mouthed. He wasn’t sure what to say or even where to begin to respond so he just didn’t say anything. “Tobio I’m only saying this so you’re aware, so you understand what’s at stake here. You’re state of mind effects Aiko. When you’re happy, she’s happy.”

            “I’m...”Kageyama began throatily, clearing his throat slightly. “Did... did she tell you she was... unhappy?”

            “No, no not at all,” Yachi assured, stretching her hand out of the table towards Kageyama. “She’s not unhappy, she’s concerned about you, Tobio. She’s worried.” Kageyama felt his chest tighten and his fist clench. “While I know that you’re main concern is Aiko, neglecting yourself for the betterment of her if counterproductive. You need happiness just as much as she needs your attention.”

            “I...ok,” Kageyama whispered softly. “I understand, I didn’t...I never meant to make her...I’m going to try.” Kageyama looked up at Yachi who was looking at him with concern. Yachi turned her palm over on the table, and Kageyama gently lift his hand and placed it on top of hers.

            “You deserve happiness too,” Yachi said softly, closing her fingers around his hand. “You can’t spend your life just making sure others are happy; you’ll lose yourself along the way.”

            “I’m not lost,” Kageyama whispered.

            “Not yet,” Yachi whispered back. “So you need to lock on to something, otherwise by the time you realize you’re slipping, you’re already lost.”


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update because I feel bad about leaving you guys hanging for 2 weeks

* * *

            “Um...hello?” Kageyama said as he knocked on the door to the mechanic’s shop. He stepped inside the large garage, side stepping tools and piles of car parts that were stacked on the floor. He walked through the garage, a few cars towards the door in the back marked **Office**. He pulled out his phone quickly to check the time; 2pm. 

            “Er, hello?” Kageyama said as he knocked on the office door. It swung open gently as he knocked on it. He pushed the door open all the way and took a tentative step into the cluttered, but seemingly empty office. “Hello? I’m here about my car.”

            “Well I hope so, cause we don’t sell ice cream,” a bright male voice said behind him, starling him. Kageyama turned around quickly, and saw a much shorter man covered in car oil, with spiked up hair with a blonde streak up the front. He was smiling up widely at Kageyama as he wiped his hands off with a dirty rag that he pulled off his shoulder. “I’m Nishinoya, I’m the mechanic here. How can I help you?”

            “Uh, my friend, Tanaka, he told me that your garage has my car,” Kageyama said uncomfortably. “It was in a crash a few days ago.”

            “Oh yeah, you’re Kageyama then?” Nishinoya said throwing the rag back over his shoulder. Kageyama nodded as he watched Nishinoya walk past him into the office. He walked around the cluttered desk and threw the rage into a bin in the corner. He turned and pulled off a set of car keys off a board hanging with hooks on the wall. “It’s in the back garage, with the wrecks.”

            “Oh great,” Kageyama scoffed as he followed Nishinoya out. They started walking along the back of the front garage.

            “Tanaka mentioned you,” Nishinoya said and he lifted the large garage door. “He told me your boyfriend got into a crash with your daughter on Wednesday, maybe they brought your car here. Which they did.”

            “Ex...boyfriend...”Kageyama corrected weakly as they entered the garage. They walked over to the pile of metal that used to be Kageyama’s car.

            “I usually get all the crashes,” Nishinoya said, ignoring Kageyama’s correction. He gestured to the warped metal and rubber car in front of them. “Here’s yours.”

            “Wow,” Kageyama sighed. His once shitty little car, was now twisted and crunched in the front and side. The windshield was broken with spidered breaks that were held together by the tempered glass. The inside of the car was covered in glass shards and ripped up metal.

            “Yeah I know,” Nishinoya said, putting his hands on his hips. “The people in the car... I heard they were ok. Are they ok?” 

            “Yeah, they’re ok,” Kageyama breathed, still in shock. Seeing the wreckage suddenly made it feel very real to him. _They got into a car crash._

            “Good,” Nishinoya said, nodding his head. “Honestly, when I took a look at the wreckage... I was very surprised to learn that they were mostly unharmed.”

            “Yeah I...” Kageyama sucked in a breath, trying to keep himself from panicking, “I was very surprised to learn they were mostly unharmed too.”

            “Your little girl,” Nishinoya said carefully, “Tanaka seemed fond of her. Told me she was really small...she’s...ok right?”

            “Yeah, just a few minor cuts an bruises,” Kageyama said gratefully. “Nothings too bad.”

            “Oh good,” Nishinoya exhaled. “My boyfriend, when he found out whose car this was, kind of panicked. Asahi, he works at the day care, he told me he knew your daughter, that she used to go there. He was keen to find out if she was ok. I’m glad I can tell him she is. And your boyfriend, Tanaka said he got the brunt of the damage. Is he alright?”

            “Yeah he uh, Hinata- my ex boyfriend,” Kageyama said uncomfortably, “he got uh, a few bruises, a laceration on his forehead, some bruising on his face, bruised ribs, and his left arm is broken. But it could have been...”Kageyama looked over at the twisted metal again, “a lot worse.”

            “Seatbelts man,” Nishinoya sighed. “Fucking amazing.”

            “Yeah they are,” Kageyama laughed roughly. “So the car...”

            “Um...” Nishinoya rubbed his jaw, “yeah I’m not sure what you want to do with it.”

            “Is...is it fixable?” Kageyama asked hopefully. “I mean, fixable and not super expensive.”

            “I got to be honest with you Kageyama,” Nishinoya sighed. “This car is in pretty bad shape. And they told me that the reason it crashed was because it stalled. That means there was a problem already.”

            “I understand,” Kageyama exhaled heavily. “So what you’re saying is it’s going to be really expensive right?”

            “Yeah kind of,” Nishinoya chuckled, clapping Kageyama on the back. “That and not really worth the money.”

            “And there’s no way to fix it?” Kageyama asked hopefully. “In a way that I don’t have to sell a kidney to pay for it.”

            “Honestly, no,” Nishinoya sighed, looking over at the car. “The parts of this car are just...very, very broken.”

            “Broken parts,” Kageyama repeated quietly.

            “But at least the metal is whole,” Nishinoya said walking over to the car. “Which means you can sell the metal, get some money for the car. So you know, not completely worthless.”

            “But the whole car,” Kageyama asked, “that’s going to be too expensive, right? More expensive that the metal?”

            “Honestly, the car isn’t worth the sum of its parts,” Nishinoya sighed, looking back over at Kageyama. “You should sell it for scrap and put that money towards a new car. Honestly, I wouldn’t feel right charging you to fix this car. It’d be robbery. These parts are just too broken.”

            “Thanks,” Kageyama said flatly. “So...where do I even go to sell it then?”

            “Oh I can do that for you man,” Nishinoya said happily, clapping Kageyama on the arm. “I’ll get you a good price, don’t worry.”

            “Uh, thanks then,” Kageyama said awkwardly. “Um, the car seat. Is it in good condition? I’d like it back, if I can have it.”

            “Oh yeah,” Nishinoya said, walking over to the car. Next to it on the floor was Aiko’s car seat, completely undamaged. “I don’t know where you bought this, but it must have been made for the gods. It’s completely intact.”

            “That’s...” Kageyama just stared at the car seat. “I got it as a gift.” Nishinoya just laughed and handed it over.

* * *

 

            “So how are you going to get around?” Yachi asked when Kageyama told her about the car. “I mean, you need a car right?”

            “Nishinoya, the mechanic at the shop,” Kageyama said settling Aiko comfortably on his lap, “he lent me a spare car they have at the garage. One they give to people to use while they get their car fixed there. Until I can get a new one.” Kageyama sunk into the couch, holding Aiko on his lap as she ate a sandwich. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through her hair.

            “Well that was nice of him,” Yachi said standing up. “Frankly, I’m glad you’re getting a new car. That piece of crap car was a screaming metal death trap and it had to go.”

            “Thank you,” Kageyama said sarcastically looking up at her. “Please, I already wasn’t feeling guilty enough, tell me how that car could have killed someone.”

            “Sorry,” Yachi said guiltily. She walked into the kitchen, leaving Kageyama in the living room with Aiko.

            “-addy,” Aiko mumbled, mouth full of sandwich.

            “Yeah, what is it Belly?” Kageyama said tilting his head down to look at Aiko.

            “Is...” she looked down at her half eaten sandwich in her tiny hands. Kageyama watched her as she struggled with how to get out what she wanted to say. “Is...Hinata ok?” Aiko looked up at Kageyama with wide, watery eyes.

            “He’s ok Belly,” Kageyama reassured gently. “He’s hurt but, he is going to be ok.” Aiko nodded solemnly, furrowing her brow.

            “And... is he,” Aiko began again looking down at her sandwich. “Is he mad at me?” Kageyama could hear watery voice tremble.

            “No, Belly,” Kageyama said putting his fingers under her chin and lifting her face to look up at him. “He’s not mad at you. Why would you think that?”

            “Be-because I was mean to him,” Aiko whimpered. “When he came to pick me up, I got mad at him. And I yelled at him.” She sniffled as a tear escaped down her cheek. Kageyama lifted his thumb and wiped it away. “I was so mad him. And I missed him so much, daddy.” More tears made their way down her face. “I missed him and I wasn’t nice to him because I was so mad.”

            “I know Belly, I know,” Kageyama said kissing the top of her head. “He’s ok.”

            “Bu-but does he hate me?” Aiko sniffled. “Does he never want to see me again?”

            “Not at all Belly,” Kageyama reassured turning her around to face him better. He cradled his face in his hands. “He definitely doesn’t hate you, and he wants to see again.”

            “Really?” Aiko asked, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

            “Yeah of course,” Kageyama said tenderly. He took her sandwich out of her hand and placed it down on the plate on the coffee table. Picking Aiko up and twisting her around, Kageyama laid her head on her his chest. “Aiko, Hinata doesn’t hate you at all. He asked to see you.”

            “He did?” she sniffled.

            “Mhm,” Kageyama hummed, bushing her bangs aside. “Actually,” Kageyama looked down at his phone that he pulled out from his pocket, “it’s only about 3:30 now. Would you like to come with me to go visit him in the hospital?”

            “Yes!” Aiko cheered quickly, but looked away worriedly. “I-I want to come...but I’m nervous.”

            “I’ll be there with you the whole time,” Kageyama said softly.

* * *

 

            “Hey,” Kageyama said softly as he slightly opened the door to Hinata’s hospital room. “Oh,” he stopped as he saw Kenma sitting at the foot of Hinata’s bed, “am I interrupting?”

            “Hey!” Hinata said brightly when he saw Kageyama’s head in the doorway. “No, no not at all come in.”

            “Actually, I brought someone who’d like to see you,” Kageyama said opening the door fully. He stepped inside, trailed closely by a very nervous and quiet Aiko who was clinging to Kageyama’s hand. She kept her head down and looked only at her feet as she shuffled in. They walked over to the side of Hinata’s bed, Aiko keeping her eyes downcast the whole time. Kageyama watched as Hinata’s eyes lit up when Aiko walked in the room. Kenma adjusted his seating on the bed to better see tiny Aiko hiding behind her dad’s leg.

            “Hi Muffin,” Hinata said softly. Aiko quickly glanced up at him with watery eyes.

            “Hi Hin-Hinata,” Aiko mumbled. She nervously dug her fingers into Kageyama’s hand. “How ar-are you feeling?”

            “I’m doing a lot better now that you’re here,” he said tenderly. Aiko let a tear fall down her face.

            “So you’re no-not mad at me?” she sniffled.

            “Why would I ever be mad at you?” Hinata said earnestly. Aiko just looked up at him with wide surprised eyes. She let out a soft squeak before rapidly climbing onto the bed and crawling into Hinata’s lap. Aiko through her arms around Hinata’s neck and pulled him into a tight hug. Hinata let out a pained groan when she threw herself on him, but he didn’t push her away, but in fact pulled her closer. “I’m so sorry Muffin.”

            “It’s ok,” Aiko mumbled into his shoulder. “I was worried that you didn’t want to see me.”

            “Muffin, I would never not want to see you,” Hinata said pulling her closer. He closed his eyes and held her tightly. “Not seeing you these past few months has probably been worst of all.” He opened his eyes and looked at Kageyama who was standing next to the bed with a raised questioning eyebrow. Hinata mouthed back “sorry,” before pulling back from the hug.

            “I missed you,” Aiko said, wiping her eyes with her palm.

            “I missed you too,” Hinata said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “And I’m so glad you’re here.” Aiko just smiled at him and laid her head against his chest, settling gently in his lap.  “Kenma, I don’t believe you’ve met,” Hinata said to an awkward Kenma who was watching the whole display with an overt detachment. “Kenma, this Aiko, Kageyama’s daughter. Aiko, this is Kenma, my best friend.”

            “Hello,” Aiko said waving nervously at him, as if she just realized he was in the room.

            “Hi,” Kenma waved back, just as uncomfortable.

            “I like your hair,” Aiko said pointing to Kenma’s dual-toned bun.

            “I like your overalls,” Kenma said gesturing to Aiko’s rose-colored overalls with small pattern of cats. Aiko smiled up at him happily. Kageyama watched the interaction with warmth in his chest. Seeing Aiko talk so freely after months of her not acting like herself was truly heartwarming to him. Kageyama pulled close one of the chairs close to the bed and Aiko and Kenma continued to talk. After a while of Aiko and Kenma discussing the finer points of small children’s fashion, Kenma excused himself.

            “Thanks for coming to see me again,” Hinata smiled as Kenma got off the bed.

            “Of course Shou,” Kenma said standing by the side of the bed. “I’ll see you later. Bye Aiko.”

            “Bye Kenma!” Aiko said waving happily at him.

            “See ya’, Kageyama,” Kenma said as he left the room. Kageyama just nodded to him, still unsure on how he felt about him as he watched the door close behind him.

            “He’s nice,” Aiko said when Kenma left. “I like him.”

            “You like everyone,” Hinata said tilting his head to look at Aiko.

            “No,” Aiko disagreed. She was silent for a moment before she relented, “Ok, maybe.” Hinata and Aiko continued to talk past the time that the nurse wheeled in Hinata’s dinner, past when Oikawa came in with Thai food contraband for the four of them, and way past when all of them had long finished eating and Aiko was struggling to keep her eyes open.

            “I think she’s asleep for good now,” Kageyama said softly. “Do you want me to move her off your lap?”

            “Would it be bad if I said yes?” Hinata said sheepishly. Kageyama just smirked, and carefully moved a fast asleep Aiko off Hinata’s lap and laid her at the foot of Hinata’s bed. He placed an extra pillow under her head and tucked her under the blanket. As Hinata moved forward to arrange the blankets in front of him, Kageyama caught a glimpse of a think golden chain around his neck, just under his t-shirt. _He kept it._ Kageyama smiled softly to himself and he sat back down in his chair. “God I missed her, but I did not miss having my legs numb for hours on end.”

            “Yeah, she’s deceptively heavy,” Kageyama said quietly. “Like a little dying star. So small, so dense.”

            “I don’t know if it’s good parental practice to compare your child to a decaying celestial body,” Hinata laughed.

            “Eh, there are worse things I could do,” Kageyama shrugged. Hinata just smiled tenderly at him.

            “Thank you for bringing her,” Hinata said softly. “I know you didn’t have to, and we’re not exactly...well I don’t really know what we are but... thank you.”

            “No problem,” Kageyama smiled. “She really wanted to see you. And I thought she should. Even though, I don’t know what we are either.”


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TWO TO GO

* * *

            “So I have good news and bad news,” Oikawa said as he entered Hinata’s room the following day. Kageyama had already been there since midmorning and he was just about to leave to get lunch to smuggle in for Hinata and himself. “Which do you want first?”

            “Um, the bad news I guess?” Hinata said glancing at Kageyama, who felt Hinata slip his hand gently into his own.

            “Ok well the bad news is you can’t be released today because Dr. Wakatoshi want’s to keep you for one more day to monitor that head injury,” Oikawa said, placing his hand on his hip.

            “Ugh,” Hinata groaned, throwing his head back in annoyance. “Fine, what’s the good news?”

            “I have decided not to report you and Kageyama for your blatant disregard for the ‘visiting hours’ set by this hospital,” Oikawa said matter-of-factly. “Oh also that you’ll probably get released tomorrow.” 

            “Thank you,” Hinata said. “For both.”

            “Thanks Oikawa,” Kageyama said, smiling at Oikawa.

            “Yeah yeah, whatever,” Oikawa waved off dismissively. “You guys are like, sickeningly cute, sitting here day in day out flirting and being gross. Ridiculous. You’re going to make me sick.”

            “Good thing you’re in a hospital,” Kageyama pointed out sarcastically.

            “Shut-shut the fuck up,” Oikawa said putting his hand up to Kageyama.

            “Oh sorry,” Kageyama snarked. “I meant, Oh thank you Dr. Oikawa. How can I ever repay you?” he asked in a monotone voice.

            “Glad you asked,” Oikawa said seriously. “I want a 1,000 roses delivered to my apartment by tomorrow. I want to be treated to an expensive meal sometime in the near future. And I want Iwaizumi’s number.”

            “Hmm,” Kageyama hummed, feigning serious thought. “No, no and definitely not.”

            “Aw come on! I know you have it,” Oikawa whined. “Just give it to me, I don’t have time to drive down there and flirt with him. I’m working.”

            “You would just be texting him while you’re working,” Kageyama pointed out.

            “So?” Oikawa huffed. “I’m an adult, I can do what I want.”

            “Wait, you like Iwaizumi?” Hinata asked Oikawa. Kageyama rolled his eyes and Oikawa’s suggestive smirk. “Nice, very nice.”

            “Nice?” Kageyama repeated looking at Hinata. “What do you mean _very nice_?”

            “I mean nice,” Hinata defended. “What? He’s hot.” Kageyama just made a face.

            “Right?” Oikawa said. “You know what I’m talking about. See Tobio, Shouyou agrees with me.”

            “I do have to admit you have good taste,” Hinata nodded, glancing at Kageyama. Kageyama just frowned further, staring at Hinata even more unamused than before. “What? We’re all single, gay men just discussing the attractiveness of one man of ambiguous sexual orientation.” Kageyama just frowned further, staring Hinata down who did not back down for a second.

            “Ok, so I’m going to take that as my cue to leave,” Oikawa said as he left the room. “See you later, Shou,” he said waving at Hinata as he walked out. Hinata waved back before looking back at Kageyama who was still staring at him.

            “What?” Hinata asked, with a slight smirk.

            “When did you get all buddy-buddy with Oikawa?” Kageyama asked suspiciously.

            “Oh, so I got into this car crash, I don’t know if you knew about it,” Hinata began sarcastically. Kageyama sat back in his chair rolling his eyes, unable to contain his smirk. “And I actually ended up in the hospital that he works in, I’m not sure if you know that either. So while he was working here, in the hospital, we kind began talking. And I don’t know we got really close and stuff. We bonded over our similarities, like our taste in music, favorite foods, seeing your dick. And speaking of small problems, we settled some of the tension between us- like adults of course, so with copious quantities of sex. And, so yeah he’s less of an asshole than I thought he’d be; and pretty good in the sack.”

            “Ok I get it,” Kageyama surrendered, putting his hands up. “I’m not jealous, I’m just curious.”

            “You should be jealous,” Hinata smirked, nudging him with his foot.

            “I’m not,” Kageyama said stoically.

            “Not even a bit?” Hinata nudged.

            “Nope,” Kageyama said leaning forward. “Because I know that it’s most definitely not a small problem.”

            “Well, I use small loosely,” Hinata smirked, leaning forward. “And my application of problem might have been a bit too liberal.”

            “I agree,” Kageyama whispered looking down at Hinata’s lips. He was close enough that he could feel Hinata’s breath against his own mouth.

            “Kageyama,” Hinata murmured. Kageyama hummed in response, his eyes tracing Hinata’s lips. “What are we doing?”

            “What do you mean?” Kageyama asked.

            “Well, we’re not together anymore,” Hinata said quietly. “But we obviously still...”

            “I know,” Kageyama said sitting back. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed heavily. “To be honest, I don’t...I don’t really know what I’m doing. You know, here...with you. ”

            “I don’t know what I’m doing either,” Hinata exhaled. “I’m only asking because I just, I don’t really know what to do anymore. I don’t know where I stand with you.”

            “Truthfully, I don’t where we stand either,” Kageyama admitted. He looked up at Hinata who was staring at him searchingly. “And I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I mean we obviously still... and I don’t know about you Hinata, but I’m kind of lost. But I know that I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t lose you again. This was...this was too much for me. I can’t do this again.”

            “Ok...” Hinata said carefully. “Well, can we at least promise to be honest with each other?” Kageyama scoffed and shook his head. “No I’m serious. From right here and now, we’ll be honest and up front with each other. About how we feel, what we’re thinking. Everything.”

            “Ok, we’ll be honest and up front,” Kageyama agreed. “About everything.”

            “Good,” Hinata nodded. “I’ll start.” Hinata looked down at his folded hand and took a deep breath, before looking up at Kageyama. “I’m still in love with you.” Kageyama felt his whole body both tense and his heart start beating madly. “I don’t expect anything to, you know, happen. I just...want to be...honest with you.” Kageyama felt like he couldn’t breathe. “But since I’m trying to be completely honest with you,” Hinata took another deep breath, “I want to be with you. I know we agreed that we are both way too broken and we’re not healthy together and maybe that’s still true but, fuck, I love you Tobio. And I love Aiko. And I love our broken little family we made. And we weren’t the best together, but who is, you know?” Kageyama just gaped at him. He felt like his brain wasn’t processing the information as fast as he was hearing it. He could feel Hinata watching him expectantly but he couldn’t even form words in his mouth. “I mean, I love you, isn’t that enough?” Kageyama could feel his throat tighten and his hands shake. Hinata watched him try to get his voice back.

            “I went to go see the mechanic yesterday,” Kageyama croaked after a moment.

            “O-ok,” Hinata said confused. Kageyama took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He could feel Hinata boring a hole into the side of his face.

            “The car was... really trashed,” Kageyama said slowly. “I mean... really smashed up. All warped and twisted metal. Plus the car was already a piece of shit before hand. It was just bad. Honestly, I don’t know how you’re not dead-” Kageyama sucked in a breath.

            “I knew that,” Hinata said warily. “But I’m ok. Aiko’s ok.”

            “And Nishinoya, the mechanic,” Kageyama continued, “he told me that the car parts were too broken.  Not worth the time or money or energy it would take to fix it. Just broken pieces.” Hinata didn’t say anything but just silently watched him. “He told me that I’d be better off if I just sold off the car for scrap. Because the car as a whole was not worth the sum of its parts.” Kageyama took a deep breath before continuing. “We might be broken parts Hinata. And alone, we might not be worth very much- I’m not worth very much. But I think us together, you and me, our relationship is greater than the sum of its parts. Our broken parts fit together, even though they’re broken. Maybe we’d be better off apart. Maybe we’re too much like broken parts. But I love you. And I think that’s enough.” Kageyama finished and there was a lull in the air. He felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. Like his lungs were so full that he couldn’t take another breath even if he tried. He watched as a tear slipped down Hinata’s face. 

            “We’ll make it work,” Hinata whispered after a moment. Kageyama let out a small breath. “We’ll make it work,” Hinata said again cradling Kageyama’s face in his right hand. “I love you and we’re going to make it work.”

            “I love you,” Kageyama whispered putting his hands on Hinata’s cheeks. “I love you so much.”

            “I love you,” Hinata said pulling Kageyama’s face closer. “And we are going to be together for a very long time. Because you and me, we’re greater than the sum of our parts. We really are, Tobio. And I love you, and that’s enough.”

            “It’s more than enough,” Kageyama said leaning forward. Kageyama closed the distance between them, fitting their lips together. Hinata pulled Kageyama closer to him, leaning back on the bed. Kageyama followed, keeping their lips connected. He crawled up on top of the bed, hovering over Hinata careful not to crush his broken arm. Hinata lay back fully, opening his legs a bit to let Kageyama fit his legs in between. They kissed tenderly and slowly, savoring each moment. Hinata ran his hand down Kageyama’s chest, settling his hand on his hip. Kageyama kept on hand cradled on Hinata’s neck as he used the other to keep him from pressing down on Hinata’s body. He poured everything he couldn’t say, everything he’d been trying to say, into that kiss. All of Kageyama’s love and fears and hopes and concerns he used it as passion that kept him close to Hinata. Hinata pulled him closer, twisting his leg around Kageyama’s and lifting his groin rub against Kageyama’s.  Kageyama moved his hand down to Hinata’s chest and Hinata left out a sharp wince.

            “Oh god I’m sorry,” Kageyama whispered pulling his mouth away. “I forgot you were hurt.”

            “Yeah it’s only a minor bruised rib,” Hinata grimaced. “Easily forgettable.” Kageyama only laughed, leaning his forehead against Hinata’s shoulder.

            “Sorry, I got...” Kageyama lifted his head to look down at Hinata, “caught up.”

            “I completely understand,” Hinata whispered. Kageyama just smiled softly down at Hinata who looked up at him lovingly. “I missed you.”

            “I missed you too,” Kageyama said softly.

            “I wish I wasn’t, you know, in a lot of pain,” Hinata said. “Then we could have finally had that hospital sex we’ve always wanted to have.” Kageyama laughed harder than he expected to.

            “Honestly, Shou,” Kageyama sighed after laughing, “if we never had hospital sex because we never had to come back to the hospital, I would be beyond ok with that.”

            “We’ll just have to have all kinds of other sex,” Hinata said moving his right hand up Kageyama’s abs.

            “We can absolutely do that,” Kageyama said kissing him.

* * *

           

            “Oh great more, flirting,” Oikawa said as he opened the door a few hours later. Kageyama was lying on the hospital bed with Hinata, both propped up on their sides facing each other, talking softly. “Honestly I’m going to have to impose some sort of ‘leave room for Jesus’ rule in here.”

            “Yeah, no,” Kageyama smirked, curling his arm around Hinata’s waist.

            “He has bruised ribs,” Oikawa reprimanded. “You could be damaging him further.”

            “Aw, Oikawa I didn’t know you cared so much,” Hinata cooed teasingly. Oikawa just rolled his eyes.

            “I don’t,” Oikawa sneered. “Wakatoshi cleared you, you’re being discharged tomorrow.”

            “Oh thank god, fucking finally,” Hinata cheered. “Honestly, I don’t know if I could have taken another day of being here, no offense Oikawa.”

            “None taken,” Oikawa said. “I don’t think I could have taken another day of you being here either. And flaunting your complete disregard for hospital visiting hour policy, it ends now. Out,” he said pointing to Kageyama. “You can see him tomorrow, when he leaves. 9am sharp.” Hinata raised an eyebrow at him. “Ok so I might have gotten you the earliest release time, but it was for selfish reasons. I want Iwaizumi’s number, and I’m willing to play dirty. Now, get out. You’ve been here long enough.”

            “Ok, ok I get it,” Kageyama chuckled getting up from the bed. He pulled his shoes and jacket on, putting his phone in his pocket. He turned to Hinata, and bent down giving him a long, slow kiss.

            “For fuck’s sake, Tobio,” Oikawa groaned. “I’m going to drag you out of here by your thumbs you horny bastard.”

            “I’m coming,” Kageyama said waving him off as he pulled up from a smiling Hinata. “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow ok?” Hinata just nodded at him, smiling softly. “Ok, text me alright? I love you,” Kageyama whispered as he pressed one last kiss to Hinata’s forehead.

            “His number, and his instagram,” Oikawa said seriously and Kageyama walked past him out of the room. “You owe me, you big horny tattooed bas-”

            “Thank you,” Kageyama said turning around once they had walked down the hallway a little bit. “I do owe you. And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you. But thank you.”

            “You-you’re welcome,” Oikawa stuttered, surprised at Kageyama’s sudden contented attitude.

            “Look, I know I haven’t exactly been the best friend to you,” Kageyama said seriously. “And I know that our friendship started off kind of rocky to begin with. I understand if there are certain things you hold against me or-”

            “Tobio, I don’t” Oikawa said shaking his head.

            “Hold on, give me a sec,” Kageyama continued, shifting in place awkwardly. “I understand if you thought maybe... since that one time we, you know... and once Hinata and I broke up... that maybe we’d...”

            “I didn’t expect anything,” Oikawa said shaking his head. “My...feelings for you haven’t changed, but that doesn’t mean they can’t evolve. Loving someone doesn’t mean wanting them for your own, it means wanting them to be happy; no matter how that happens. With or with out you.”

            “Then I guess I love you too,” Kageyama said giving him a small smile. Oikawa just smiled back, surprised, his face tinting pink at his cheeks. “Here,” Kageyama said after a moment, pulling out his phone. He typed something out before pressing send and slipping the phone back into his pocket. A few seconds later Oikawa heard his phone ding with the sound of a new text. “That’s his number, his instagram, what time he gets off work. Iwaizumi tends to like to stay late though. Drawing in the shop, all alone...” Kageyama said with a suggestive look.

            “Good to know,” Oikawa smirked looking down at his phone. “Thanks.” Kageyama just nodded as he turned around and continued walking down the hallway.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't want to say my goodbyes right but i'm really sad cause there is only one chapter left, and it's the epilogue and i'm going to get emotional and i can't do that right now cause i still have like 345678 finals to take before the semester ends and i'm supposed to be studying Indian Art right now, but i'm posting this so i don't forget to. 
> 
> only one chapter left!!

* * *

            “Are you sure Belly?” Kageyama asked for what left like the hundredth time. “We can still go do something later if you want.”

            “Daddy,” Aiko said exasperated. “I already said this is what I want to do.”

            “But it’s your birthday,” Kageyama said as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. “We could do something- anything you want to do today,” he said looking at her in the rearview mirror. She gave him an impatient look. “OK, I get it. I was only saying.”

            “Daddy,” Aiko sighed, sounding to Kageyama far too like himself. “This _is_ what I want to do today.” She looked at him in the mirror seriously.

            “I believe you,” Kageyama said nodding his head. “Ok, Belly,” he said unbuckling himself, “lets go.” They both got out of the car and Kageyama walked around the front and picked up Aiko and placed her on his hip. “Alright come on,” he said as he walked towards the entrance to the hospital. They walked through the main entrance and up to Hinata’s floor. As they approached his room they heard a crash and some muffled swearing. Exchanging confused looks, Aiko and Kageyama walked into Hinata’s room and saw Hinata lying on his back on the ground. He wearing a t-shirt and a hoodie, but his jeans were unbuttoned and kind of twisted at his hips. His broken arm was lying on to of his chest while his free hand rubbed his ribs.

            “Ugh,” Hinata groaned in pain on the floor with his eyes shut tight.

            “Um, Hinata?” Kageyama said unsurely. He set Aiko down so she could stand next to him. “Are you...ok?”

            “No,” Hinata groaned. “I tried to put my jeans on, but it’s really hard to do with one hand.”

            “Ok...” Kageyama said watching him lay motionless on the floor. “And you ended up on the floor how?”

            “I got frustrated with my pants and moved my hand too quick,” Hinata complained. “Hit myself in the ribs. My bruised ribs.” Hinata groaned rolling his head to the side. “And they took away my morphine and now everything hurts.”

            “You dumbass,” Kageyama sighed walking over to Hinata. He helped him off the floor gingerly. “Here,” Kageyama helped Hinata stand up and pulled up his jeans and buttoned them. “There you go,” he said softly pulling down Hinata’s hoodie.

            “Kageyama,” Hinata whispered shaking his head teasingly, “Aiko is in the room.”

            “Shut up,” Kageyama said turning away from him, trying to fight back a smile. He turned around to see Aiko fixing the skirt on her dark green dress. She looked up and saw them both watching her.

            “My birthday dress got twisted,” Aiko explained as she looked between them. She patted her velvet dress with her tiny hands and smiled up at them.

            “It’s a beautiful birthday dress,” Hinata said. “For a beautiful birthday girl.” Aiko just smiled brightly at him. After a few seconds hesitation she ran over to Hinata, wrapping her arm as much as she could around his lower body. He winced but tried to swallow the groan and just tensed his whole body.

            “Aiko, Hinata’s still in a lot of pain,” Kageyama said putting his hand on her shoulder. “You’re hurting him.” She quickly let go of him and looked up at his face, contorted in pain.

            “Oh sorry,” she apologized nervously. “I just...got excited to see you.”

            “That’s ok,” Hinata said still obviously in pain. “I’m very excited to see you too. I’m just really delicate right now.”

            “Ok, sorry,” Aiko said folding her hands behind her back. “I’ll try to be more careful.” Hinata just smiled at her and placed his free hand on her face, caressing her cheek. She leaned into his touch, placing one hand on top of his.

            “Happy Birthday, Muffin,” Hinata said smiling tenderly down at her.

            “Thank you,” she said squeezing his hand gently.

            “Are you ready to go?” Kageyama asked looking around the hospital room making sure they weren’t leaving anything behind.

            “Beyond ready,” Hinata said. “Where’s the nurse? I’m starving and I _need_ to leave.”

            “They said 9am,” Kageyama said. “It’s only 8:30.”

            “Ugh,” Hinata groaned sitting down on the bed. Aiko climbed up onto the bed and sat down next to him. He turned his head to look at her. “Is this really how you wanted to spend your birthday? Listen to an old man complain?”

            “Mhm,” Aiko hummed happily, fitting her small hand in his free one. Hinata’s face brightened as he held onto her hand, leaning over quickly and dropping a small kiss on her forehead.  They waited just a bit longer, until a nurse came in with a wheelchair to escort Hinata out in, no matter how much Hinata insisted he could walk. Kageyama and Aiko followed, walking out with Hinata who got up from the wheelchair with small wince and a groan.

            “I'm so glad to be out of there,” Hinata said taking Aiko’s hand again. “And I’m so hungry.”

            “Well, Aiko and I were thinking you should come over,” Kageyama said looking between him and Aiko. “I’ll make pancakes, you don’t have to move at all, Aiko is going to go on a painting binge, we’re going to watch a movie, maybe order some birthday pizza; it’s going to be really simple and non exciting.” Aiko looked up at Hinata with hopeful eyes and gave him a big smile.

            “That sounds perfect,” Hinata smiled. “Especially the not moving part.” Aiko jumped up happily, cheering something about how she knew it was going to be a good birthday. 

            “Ok good,” Kageyama said. He walked forward and took Aiko’s other hand as they all walked towards the hospital parking lot. By the time they got to the car, Aiko had already told Hinata her entire plan for the day including exactly what she was going to paint and how.

            “That’s a lot of paintings Muffin,” Hinata said gingerly getting into the passenger seat. “Are you sure you’re going to be able to do everything you want to today?”

            “I’m _five_ now Hinata,” Aiko said matter-of-factly, like that explained everything.

            “Yeah she’s _five_ now,” Kageyama mimicked to Hinata while getting in the drivers seat.

            “Well excuse me,” Hinata laughed, “I didn’t realize I was standing the presence of grown woman.”

            “Yup,” Aiko agreed contentedly. Kageyama and Hinata exchanged smirks as Kageyama helped Hinata buckled himself in.

            “You know, I can do it,” Hinata said watching Kageyama secure the seatbelt. “You don’t have to do it for me.”

            “Someone I really care about once told me that if we are going to make this work you need to just accept that I’m just going to do things for you because I want to, not because I feel obligated or to get some thanks or praise later,” Kageyama smirked. Hinata just grinned knowingly.

            “We’ll make it work,” Hinata said softly. With an agreeing nod, Kageyama turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

 

            “This was the best birthday ever, and I got to eat so much cake, and we have my favorite dinner and I’m not even tired yet and-”

            “Belly, please you need to go to sleep,” Kageyama said brushing her hair back from her face. He helped her settled into her bed, pulling the comforter up around her to tuck her into bed. “But I’m glad you had a good day. Even if it wasn’t the one we had originally planned.”

            “Thanks ok daddy,” Aiko smiled. “I think it was even better that what we planned. I...” she looked down at her tiny hand playing with the hem of the comforter, “...I missed Hinata a lot.”

            “I know, Belly. Me too,” Kageyama said softly, brushing her bangs aside.

            “Is he...is he staying for good this time?” Aiko asked carefully.

            “Well, I can’t make any promises. And I can’t speak for him,” Kageyama sighed. “But I don’t think he’s going anywhere this time.”

            “Good,” Aiko smiled. “I missed having two daddies.”

            “We are definitely going to try to be that for you,” Kageyama promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “But we’ll talk more about that later ok? Right now it’s bedtime. I’ll read you a story, but then it’s lights out ok?”

            “Ok daddy,” Aiko said setting back in her bed. She moved over slightly so that Kageyama could have some room to sit next to her on he bed. “Can...can Hinata be here too?” She looked up hopeful at Kageyama.

            “Yeah, sure Belly,” Kageyama said nodding. “I’ll go get him.” Kageyama got up and walked into the kitchen where Hinata was attempting to clean up with one hand. Kageyama leaned against the doorway watching him. “You don’t have to do that, you know.” Hinata turned around, flustered, caught doing exactly what Kageyama had told him not to do.

            “Uh, I just...didn’t want you to have to clean up all the mess by yourself,” Hinata said putting down the sponge. “I mean, I still have the one good hand. Might as well use it.”

            “This is your choice of usage for your one good hand?” Kageyama asked sauntered over to Hinata.

            “Why? You have any better ideas?” Hinata smirked as Kageyama leaned over him.

            “I could think of a thousand ways to use your one good hand,” Kageyama whispered against Hinata’s mouth. Kageyama could feel Hinata trying to decide whether or not to kiss him or retort.

            “And what way are you thinking of using it right now?” Hinata murmured sensually.

            “I want you...” Kageyama began lower his mouth to almost touching Hinata’s, “...to...”

            “Yeah...?” Hinata pleaded. He rested his good hand on Kageyama’s lower abdomen.

            “I want you to...” Kageyama whispered, breathing across Hinata’s jaw up towards his ear. He could feel Hinata taking breathy gasps. “...to hold the book while I read Aiko a bedtime story.”

            “Aw, what the fuck?” Hinata objected, shoving Kageyama’s arm with his hand. “You got me all worked up for that?”

            “I’m sorry,” Kageyama laughed like he wasn’t sorry at all. “It was just too funny to pass up.”

            “Ugh, you’re such an asshole,” Hinata grumbled, though he was smiling.

            “I know,” Kageyama chuckled.  

            “I was getting into it,” Hinata complained, shoving Kageyama again.

            “I know, that’s what made it so funny,” Kageyama smiled. Hinata glared at him, but the affect was somewhat diluted by his smile. “Here come on, I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

            “Oh really?” Hinata asked incredulously. “What? Are you going to...” Hinata whispered trailing off. He slowly cupped Kageyama’s dick over his pants, rubbing slightly, eliciting a gasp from him. “...do my laundry?” Hinata giggled as he pulled his hand away, leaving Kageyama feeling uncomfortably turned on.

            “Hey, that’s not fair,” Kageyama groused. “What I did was different.”

            “Eh, they had the same effect,” Hinata shrugged. Kageyama glared at him, but could keep a straight face an eventually they both just started laughing.

            “Ugh, come here,” Kageyama said pulling Hinata into a hug. “I missed you.”

            “I missed you too,” Hinata said burying his face in Kageyama’s chest. “Tobio I...” he tilted his head to look up at Kageyama. “I’m still scared that we’re... that I’m...”

            “You can’t possibly be anymore scared of what could happen than I am,” Kageyama said running his hand gently across Hinata’s cheek.

            “I really, really want this,” Hinata whispered desperately, clutching his good hand on Kageyama’s shirt, watching his fingers tighten around the fabric. “I want you and Aiko and our family and being together and I want it more than anything. And I can’t... I can’t lose it again.” He looked up at Kageyama with watery, pleading eyes.

“You’re not going to lose anything,” Kageyama assured softly. “We’re going to make it work. Because I love you, and that’s enough.”

            “I love you, and that’s enough.”


	54. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am not emotionally ready for this at all.
> 
> Honestly I have to say that this really truly has been amazing, for so many reasons. The positive responses from everyone, the amount of people who even read this long ass story, the friends I've made (like I literally made friends because of this fanfic and that's literally so amazing) have all been so incredible and I don't think I'm really ready to let this story go. But I know that if I keep typing I'm going to start crying and getting really sappy and no one wants my emotional ramblings so I'll be brief:
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this, and your messages have been truly touching and inspiring. I know others might think "it's just a fanfic" but I really did work really hard on this story and I appreciate each and every person who stuck through it and have read up till now. So, thank you

**A year and a half later**

            It was 11:30am and Kageyama was asleep. Not that this was an unusual hour for him to be asleep on a Saturday, quite the contrary, but regularly waking up at 6:30am made sleeping in just a little bit of a sweet luxury. No alarm going off beside him, and he had no reason to move at all. Keeping his eyes closed, Kageyama tried to will himself back to sleep.

            He felt a motion behind him and then a hot puff of air of the back of his neck. The stretched groan of a yawn is what finally made Kageyama open his eyes.

            “Do you have to yawn on my neck?” Kageyama asked, starting to yawn himself.

            “Yup,” Hinata said curling his arm around Kageyama’s waist. “Do you have to be so grumpy as soon as you wake up?”

            “Yup,” Kageyama said smiling, closing his eyes.

            “Then I’ll just have to do something to make you less...” Hinata breathed on the back of his neck, letting his hand wander down Kageyama’s abs and dip into his briefs, “...grumpy.”

            “That could work,” Kageyama smiled, pressing his hips up towards Hinata’s hand that was rubbing him into hardness.

            “I thought you’d be up for it,” Hinata smirked, kissing the nape of his neck.

            “Oh, I’ll be completely up in a second if you keep doing what you’re doing,” Kageyama breathed as Hinata thumbed the bead of pre-cum around the head, playing with the piercing with length of his thumb.

            “Punny,” Hinata huffed, kissing down his bare back. He almost had Kageyama at full hardness when they heard the sounds of a crash in the kitchen.

            “And we were so close,” Kageyama lamented, sighing as he opened his eyes and shifted on to his back.

            “Here, I’ll go see what she’s doing in there,” Hinata said pressing a kiss to Kageyama’s chest, his golden chain dangling from around his neck as he leaned over. “Um, actually let me wash my hands first.”

            “Yeah good idea,” Kageyama huffed, rubbing his eyes trying to wake up. “I’m going to stay here for a minute and um, calm down.”

            “Yeah good idea,” Hinata laughed, mimicking Kageyama, as he walked out of the room. Kageyama quickly contemplated finishing himself off to get rid of his boner but he just settled on splashing some water on his face. Pulling on his SunFlour shirt that was tossed on the floor sometime during the night, Kageyama walked quickly into the bathroom.

            Once he was done using the bathroom, Kageyama walked back into his room to pull on some sweatpants when he heard another crash, followed by giggling coming from the kitchen. Suspicious, Kageyama walked into the kitchen to find Aiko, standing on a dining chair, covered head to toe in flour and Hinata with tiny Aiko-sized handprints of flour on his face.

            “Um...” Kageyama began looking between them.

            “I didn’t cover her in flour,” Hinata said trying to hold back a giggling Aiko from putting more handprints on him. “She was like this when I got in here.”

            “I’m making pancakes daddy,” Aiko giggled jumping down from the chair.

            “Are you though?” Kageyama laughed as his daughter ran towards him. She threw her arms up and he picked her up despite knowing he’ll be covered in flour too. “Ugh, Aiko you’re getting too heavy for me to carry you.” He struggled to put her on his hip as he used to do. “I think 6 is when you stop getting carrying around, right Shou?”

            “Dad can carry me just fine,” Aiko said smugly. She crawled down from Kageyama’s hold. She ran over to Hinata who easily hoisted her up and sat her on his hip.

            “How can you pick her up so easily?” Kageyama asked, shaking out the strain from his arms.

            “I’m lifting 50lb bags of flour all the time,” Hinata shrugged. “This little muffin is nothing.”

            “See?” Aiko smiled, wrapping her floured arms around Hinata’s neck. “I told you Dad could still carry me.”

            “Yeah well, he can carry you as you clean this mess up,” Kageyama said crossing his arms. Hinata immediately put Aiko down on the ground. “That’s what I thought. Clean this up, Belly.”

            “Ugh, fine,” she groaned as she grabbed the broom. Kageyama just smiled and rolled is eyes at how much she sounded like Hinata sometimes. “But I’m still hungry daddy.”

            “I’ll make you something once you clean this up,” Hinata said putting his hand atop her head and tilting her face up so she would look at him. “So the faster you clean up the faster I can cook in here.” She nodded and quickly set about sweeping and cleaning up the mess.

            “Using food as motivation,” Kageyama murmured to Hinata when he walked over to stand beside him. “Very nice parenting technique.”

            “Well, it’s probably not a very PC method,” Hinata said watching Aiko clean up. “But you know, it works.”

            “Dad can you make me waffles?” Aiko asked as she threw the flour in the dustpan away in the garbage.

            “Of course, muffin,” Hinata said walking over to her helping her put away the large bag of flour. “Tobio, you want some too?”

            “Sure,” Kageyama said, brushing off the flour that was still on his shirt. “Although, Belly, remember that we’re going to your grandmother’s later and you know she likes to feed you so, you know, don’t stuff yourself full of waffles.”

            “That was one time!” Aiko protested laughing.

            “Also you need to shower again,” Hinata said brushing the flour from her hair. “Madoka is going to wonder why we let you run around dirty if you show up covered in flour.”

            “I’m not dirty,” Aiko disagreed. “I’m...well floured.” 

            “Yes you are,” Hinata laughed. “Like a little ciabatta.”

* * *

 

            “Tobio, you have to stop messing with the collar of your shirt,” Hinata scolded Kageyama as they walked toward the front door of Yachi’s mom’s house. Aiko gleefully ran up ahead of them, up the long cobbled pathway. Her flowy lavender dress bounced behind her, illuminated in the clear spring sunlight.

            “But you know how much I detest button up shirts like this,” Kageyama said gesturing down to the indigo button down Hinata picked out for him to wear.

            “I understand, but you can’t wear your uniform of a black pullover to a rehearsal dinner,” Hinata laughed. “As it is you’re wearing black skinny jeans.”

            “These aren’t just any black skinny jeans,” Kageyama defended. “They are very nice, expensive black skinny jeans.”

            “Oh excuse me,” Hinata giggled.

            “Plus, I just look awkward in this,” Kageyama said fiddling with the buttoned up sleeve.

            “Tobio, I’m wearing a similar shirt,” Hinata said shaking his head. Kageyama looked over at his formfitting brick colored button down that was tucked into his slim-fitted black dress pants. “I don’t look awkward and neither do you.”

            “Of course you don’t look awkward,” Kageyama said, staring down angrily folding up the sleeves up to his elbow. “You look fucking hot, as usual, and I look like a little boy whose mom dressed him.”

            “Aw that’s sweet, you still think I’m hot,” Hinata cooed while Kageyama forced another sleeve up. “You look hot too, you just don’t realize it. Tattoos and button downs are like...” Hinata made a satisfied face, “...perfect.”

            “Yeah whatever,” Kageyama said trying to hide his smile. They walked up to the open front door, and entered the bustling house. Kageyama threaded his fingers through Hinata’s as they walked in. There were at least two dozen people talking and eating and in the center was Aiko and Yachi giggling with Yamaguchi. Yachi was fixing a crown of stephanotis flowers in Aiko’s hair.

            “Daddy! Dad!” Aiko called waving over to them. Yachi and Yamaguchi smiled at them as they walked over.

            “I see you already got her started on her flower girl duties,” Kageyama said as they came over.

            “Well she’s got to look the part right?” Yachi smiled down at Aiko.

            “Look, Yamaguchi made this for me to wear,” Aiko said touching the ring of flowers on her head. “He’s made another one for me to wear to tomorrow too.”

            “It looks amazing,” Hinata complimented to an embarrassed Yamaguchi.

            “It took me a few tries to get it right,” Yamaguchi said scratching his neck sheepishly. “But after a few...dozen YouTube tutorials I figured it out.”

            “I think he was more set on her having the flower crown than I was,” Yachi laughed. “But it turned out amazing she’s going to look incredible for the wedding tomorrow.” Yachi smiled up at Yamaguchi, who pressed a small peck on her forehead. Her face dropped and her eyes went wide and Kageyama and Hinata exchanged unsure glances.

            “Oh no, here we go again,” Yamaguchi mumbled as he brought his hands up to her face. “Honey, breathe.”

            “We...we’re getting married tomorrow,” Yachi whispered anxiously.

            “Yes, you already know this,” Yamaguchi said calmly. “We’ve been planning this for months.”

            “Yeah, but it’s tomorrow,” Yachi trembled. “Like actually tomorrow.”

            “Again, honey you know this,” Yamaguchi rationalized. “This isn’t new information.”

            “I-I know,” Yachi nodded jerkily. “I um...I need my mom.” She turned around and quickly scanned the room looking for her mother. When she found her in the distance talking to other members of the wedding party, Yachi excused herself and took Aiko’s hand leading her to her mother.

            “That’s...been happening all day,” Yamaguchi sighed facing a perplexed Hinata and Kageyama. “She’s nervous.”

            “Apparently,” Kageyama said watching Yachi be comforted by her mother and Aiko. “How are you? You don’t seem to be as nervous as she is.”

            “I’m...” Yamaguchi took a deep breath, “...so fucking petrified. But I have to be the one who holds it together because my wonderful bride-to-be has a minor panic attack every half hour or so.”

            “Oh, ok as long as you’re fine then,” Hinata said facetiously. Yamaguchi couldn’t help but laugh.

            “Its just nerves,” Kageyama reassured. “They’ll pass. She’ll be fine...eventually.”

            “God I hope so,” Yamaguchi said worriedly. “But just you wait,” Yamaguchi added, “when you guys get married you’ll find out who’s the one who panics and who’s the one who’s forced to be calm.” Kageyama and Hinata both went wide-eyed at the assumption. They were saved from responding by a cry from Aiko calling Yamaguchi over to an upset Yachi. “Sorry, excuse me guys. I’ll talk to you later.” Kageyama and Hinata didn’t say anything as the watched Yamaguchi make his way through the crowd of people in the living room.

            “Do you think we’ll-” Kageyama began.

            “Yo, guys what’s good?” Tanaka cried out, patting Kageyama forcefully on the back.

            “Hey Tanaka,” Kageyama said rubbing the spot where he hit him.

            “Hi,” Hinata said, curiously watching Tanaka mess with the buttons on his tight button down shirt. “What’s up?”

            “Man, I hate wearing these shirts,” Tanaka groaned. “I feel all encapsulated.”

            “Big word,” Kageyama smirked.

            “Yeah, you know, my hot teacher girlfriend and I do some lessons. If you know what I mean,” Tanaka winked suggestively.

            “Are you implying that your kindergarten teacher girlfriend and you do vocabulary lessons as like sexual play?” Hinata asked skeptically, laughing a bit.

            “Uh, nah,” Tanaka said confused. “I meant like, she just uses big words and then I write them down and Google them later.” Hinata and Kageyama tried to hide their laughter behind their hands. “But we do like sexy lessons and shit too, you know. Kinky shit.”

            “Please stop,” Kageyama laughed, putting his hand up.

            “Where is Kiyoko anyway?” Hinata asked looking around the living room.

            “She’s in best friend/maid of honor mode right now,” Tanaka said pointing to wear she was standing with Yachi, talking gently to her.

            “Ah, I see,” Hinata said nodding.

            “Yeah...” Tanaka trailed off. “I was actually really... I don’t know, upset is too strong a word...maybe distressed, when Kiyoko told me she was going to be Hitoka’s maid of honor.”

            “Why?” Kageyama asked in disbelief.

            “Um...because I... I’ve sorting been...” Tanaka stumbled awkwardly. “When she told me she’s was going to be that I had already been...planning to ask her...to you know...marry me and stuff.”

            “What!?” Kageyama and Hinata cried in unison.

            “Shush!” Tanaka said putting his hands over their mouths. “Come over here,” he pulled them out from the middle of the room and out past the kitchen and into the sprawling backyard. “Can you please contain yourselves?”

            “Sorry it’s just that, you know,” Hinata began. “We’re surprised is all.”

            “Why are you surprised?” Tanaka asked, slightly offended.

            “I don’t know, it just seems like a really adult thing,” Kageyama shrugged, still flabbergasted.

            “I’m 30,” Tanaka said flatly. “I’ve been doing adult things for a while.”

            “Yeah I guess,” Hinata nodded.

            “And you guys have a kid, what are you even talking about?” Tanaka said motioning between them. “That’s like way more adult than getting married.”

            “True,” Hinata agreed. “You’re right. We’re not against it. We’re just surprised. And very supportive and excited for you.” Kageyama just nodded in agreement, putting his hand on Tanaka’s shoulder.

            “Thanks guys,” Tanaka sighed happily. “I think I’m going to wait until a little after the wedding, but I’m really going to ask her to marry me.”

            “We wish you all the luck in the world man,” Hinata said.

            “Thanks,” Tanaka smiled. “I think I’m going to find Kiyoko, because I miss her and I love her.” He waved to them as he walked back into the house, leaving Kageyama and Hinata standing together outside.

“Another wedding to go to,” Hinata said turning to Kageyama.

            “Yay, more button downs,” Kageyama said sarcastically. Hinata just shook his head smirking and rolling his eyes.

            “That’s like, the second marriage of our friends,” Hinata said looking down at his feet playing with the long grass.

            “Yeah it is...” Kageyama said carefully, not sure what Hinata was getting at.

            “It’s weird,” Hinata said looking up, scanning the expansive backyard. “It’s like in the past year or so everyone kind grew up, you know? Like, Yachi and Yamaguchi are getting married. Tanaka is going to propose to Kiyoko. Kenma, well he’s just like a little domesticated cat now that he’s with Kuroo of all people.”

            “Yeah I didn’t they were going to work as well as they do,” Kageyama said thoughtfully. “Although, I pushed them together for selfish reasons,” Kageyama smirked down at Hinata.

            “What do you mean?” Hinata asked, smiling suspiciously.

            “Well, work is a hell of a lot calmer now that Kuroo isn’t, you know,” Kageyama made a vague sweeping hand motion, “and Kenma’s less, you know,” Kageyama made a ambiguous gesture motioning down Hinata’s body.

            “My boyfriend, so eloquent,” Hinata said facetiously. “You’re lucky you’re an artist and you don’t have to speak much. Imagine if you had to give speeches.”

            “You know what I meant,” Kageyama smirked dismissively.

            “I did,” Hinata nodded. “So yeah, Kenma and Kuroo, they’re like super domestic now. And Oikawa and Iwaizumi they’re like-”

            “Fucking married,” Kageyama finished, shaking his head.

            “I know right?” Hinata agreed. “It’s so gross sometimes. I wish they’d actually get married so we could have a big party about it.”

            “Right?” Kageyama nodded. They both fell into a lull of silence just thinking about their friends and their relationships. “Do you think that...”

            “Do I think what?” Hinata asked searchingly.

            “Um, nothing. Never mind, it wasn’t important,” Kageyama backtracked, shaking his head. Hinata seemed to deflate, but Kageyama didn’t want to follow his abandoned train of thought.

            “Here, um lets go back inside,” Hinata said taking Kageyama’s hand. “I think, they’re going to start the dinner soon.” Kageyama just smiled down at him and nodded, leading the way back inside hoping Hinata would forget his almost question.

* * *

 

            “A hotel!” Aiko cheered as Kageyama pulled into the parking lot. “Everyone is staying in a hotel! The wedding is at a hotel!”

            “Muffin, you knew this,” Hinata said shaking his head, laughing at her excitement.

            “I know, it’s just so exciting!” Aiko bounced in her seat. Kageyama and Hinata just smiled and rolled their eyes.

            “Well we need to go find your mother,” Kageyama said as they got out of the car. “I’ll call her and asked her where she is now.” Kageyama pulled out his phone as he walked around to pop open the trunk of his SUV. Aiko jumped out of the car, cheering about spending the night at the hotel.

            “Is it bad that I’m glad she’s not staying in our room?” Kageyama whispered to Hinata as he came over to help unload their bags. “I just can’t deal with that level of excitement.”

            “I’m not sure if it’s bad, but I’m kind of glad too,” Hinata whispered back as he pulled out their bags.

            “Are we bad parents?” Kageyama asked through a grin, tapping Yachi’s contact on his phone and bringing it to his ear.

            “Probably, yeah,” Hinata chuckled. Kageyama just laughed quietly as he helped take out the last of their things they needed for the wedding tomorrow when he heard Yachi answer.

            “Hey, sorry I didn’t call you before, I’m here,” Yachi said.

            “No, it’s fine,” Kageyama said closing the trunk. “I assumed you were busy.”

            “Dude, you have no idea,” Yachi sighed. “Of course, as soon as I get here, not even half an hour ago, there was an issue with the rooms and the accommodations. You know the usual bullshit. Who can’t sleep in an adjoining room with who, who needs to be near the ice machine but far away from the vending machine, who needed a full sized bed but not a queen sized bed. Honestly, I’m this close to eloping.”

            “You should have thought about that before you spent all this money,” Kageyama teased grabbing the handle of his suitcase. He motioned for Hinata and Aiko to follow him to the hotel. Hinata grabbed the other suitcase, stacked Aiko’s bag on top and took Aiko’s hand in his as they followed Kageyama in.

            “Please, don’t even remind me,” Yachi pleaded. “Why did I invite all these people anyway?”

            “That’s a good question,” Kageyama laughed. “We’re at the lobby now, where are you?”

            “Over here,” Yachi said. Kageyama could hear her both in the phone and in real life. He turned to his right and saw Yachi lounging on one of the couches in the lobby. She got up and walked over to him pulling him into a hug.

            “You just saw me like an hour ago,” Kageyama said hugging her back anyway.

            “I know, but I’m stressed and I need affection,” Yachi mumbled into Kageyama’s chest. “And Tadashi and I decided to do that thing where we don’t see each other until the wedding tomorrow which I’m quickly realizing was a very stupid decision. Because now I have to deal with people and I’m a nervous wreck, and I know he is too but at least he pretends he’s not.”

            “If it’s any conciliation, he’s probably just as stressed as you are,” Kageyama said pulling Yachi back so he could look at her. “Maybe more since he’s pretending he’s not.”

            “That does help a bit, yeah,” Yachi smiled. She looked past Kageyama to see Aiko running into the lobby towards her.

            “Mommy!” Aiko said running over to her.

            “Sweetheart, I’m so glad you’re here,” Yachi said bending down to Aiko’s eye line. “You have got to come see our room, it’s amazing and it even has one of those Jacuzzi tubs.”

            “The one with all the water jet things?” Aiko asked excitedly.

            “Yup,” Yachi nodded. “And it has a balcony and a huge bed and even a separate room with couches and a big screen TV.”

            “Can we go see it now?” Aiko asked excitedly.

            “Heck yeah, we can,” Yachi said like it was obvious. “In fact we should go up to our room and watch movies until we fall asleep and not talk anyone about the wedding until tomorrow. Just you and me, girl.”

            “Yeah, just you and me!” Aiko giggled happily. “Wait, let me say goodnight first.” She turned around to Kageyama who bent down to her level. “Goodnight daddy,” she said pressing a small kiss on his cheek.

            “Goodnight Belly,” he said brushing her long bangs back. “Make sure you’re good for your mom,” he leaned in to stage whisper, “she’s nervous.”

            “Shut up,” Yachi scoffed from above him.

            “I will be,” Aiko said seriously.

            “I believe you,” Kageyama said with the same forced seriousness. “After all, the flower girl is like the most important job at a wedding.” Aiko nodded solemnly.

            “I know,” Aiko agreed. With one final kiss to her forehead, Kageyama stood up. Hinata took a step forward and in one motion hoisted her up and placed her on his hip.

            “Goodnight Muffin,” he said placing kiss on her cheek.

            “Goodnight dad,” Aiko smiled pressing her palms against his cheeks. She pulled his face down and kissed his forehead. He smiled and put her down on the ground, and she took Yachi’s outstretched hand. “See you tomorrow,” she waved. Yachi picked up Aiko’s bag and then led her away to the elevator.

            “Yeah, goodnight... _daddy_ ,” Kageyama whispered into Hinata’s ear.

            “Shut your mouth,” Hinata blushed, shoving Kageyama’s face away with his hand. Kageyama bit his lip and tried to hold in his laughter. “We are literally in the lobby,” Hinata scolded. “Control yourself.”

            “I’m sorry... _daddy_ ,” Kageyama whispered again, watching the blush deepen on Hinata’s cheeks.

            “Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Hinata groaned grabbing his suitcase. “Le-let’s just go check in, you big horny bastard.” Kageyama just grinned as he followed Hinata to the main lobby to check into their room. Once they got their keys, they got into the elevator, Kageyama took a minuscule step towards Hinata. “Don’t even think about trying anything in the elevator,” Hinata warned as he pressed for their floor.

            “You’re no fun,” Kageyama pouted. “The lobby’s off limits, now the elevator is too? Are you going to ban the hotel room too?”

            “No, but I am banning the hallway,” Hinata said knowingly. Kageyama made a show of rolling his eyes dramatically. “But...the balcony off our room is still available...”

            “Good, that’s so much better than the elevator,” Kageyama grinned as the elevator opened. They walked over to their room and went inside. As soon as the door was closed behind Hinata, Kageyama was all over him. Pulling him closer, Kageyama crushed their lips together and slid his hand down Hinata’s back. Hinata responded immediately, locking his arms around Kageyama’s shoulders, licking his tongue into his mouth. Kageyama separated their mouths with a slick wet pop and started placing open-mouthed kisses along Hinata’s jaw.

            “Fucking finally,” Hinata panted as he started walking them backwards towards the large bed. They both toed off their shoes, kicking them behind them as they stumbled towards the bed. “I’ve been waiting for this since I saw you all dressed up this afternoon.” Kageyama chuckled against Hinata’s skin as he pressed him into the bed. Kageyama started unbuttoning Hinata’s shirt, biting and sucking a bruise on his collarbone as he did so. “I know I tell you all the time” Hinata panted, “but you, especially with all your tattoos, you’re really hot.” Kageyama smiled into Hinata’s skin as he got the last button undone. He pulled Hinata up into a seated position and peeled off his shirt and under shirt leaving him bare. Hinata’s gold chain with the sun and moon pendant hung from his neck. Kageyama carefully removed it, setting it on the night table beside the bed. Then Kageyama’s fingers started working on the buckle on Hinata’s pants. “You’re like really hot. Like ‘I can’t believe you’re mine’ hot,” Hinata continued watching Kageyama undo his belt.

            “I think you’re really hot too,” Kageyama murmured against Hinata’s chest and he continued sucking his bruise as he pulled off Hinata’s belt. “In fact I’ve been thinking about this since we were interrupted this morning.” He started pulled off Hinata’s pants, and threw them on the floor next the discarded shirt. He placed one large hand in the middle of Hinata’s chest, pushing him down against the bed as he came to straddle his waist.

            “No fair, you’re still dressed,” Hinata complained. “At least take off your shirt. I want to see you.”

            “Ok,” Kageyama sat back on Hinata’s legs and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He gradually worked each button open watching Hinata’s face grow more and more impatient and aroused. Once he had the button down opened, he took it off and dropped it on the floor next to him. Slowly, he peeled off his t-shirt and threw it behind him, maintaining eye contact with Hinata the entire time.

            “Fuck me,” Hinata mumbled as he watched Kageyama’s display. Kageyama smirked and bent down and kissed Hinata gently. He slid his hands down Hinata’s chest, having his mouth follow shortly behind. “Oh fuck, Tobio,” Hinata moaned as Kageyama fastened his mouth over one of his nipples. Kageyama worked his tongue down Hinata’s chest until he reached his briefs. Hinata was a panting mess above him, weakly threading his fingers through Kageyama’s hair.

            “You alright up there?” Kageyama grinned, rubbing Hinata through his briefs.

            “Awesome,” Hinata breathed. “Please continue.” Kageyama smirked as he slid off the bed and kneeled down on the floor. Kageyama pulled Hinata by his legs, moving him so his legs touched the floor. He slid his briefs down and slipped them off, tossing them behind him. Hinata sat up and watched as Kageyama spread his legs open. Kageyama lowered his mouth to Hinata’s legs, tenderly kissing up his inner thigh. “Hey take off those pants,” Hinata whispered nudging Kageyama with his foot. Kageyama leaned up and looked at Hinata. “I want to see all of you.”

            “Um...ok, just...” Kageyama mumbled standing up in front of Hinata. He looked down at his hands as he went to start to unbuckle his jeans. “Um...I kind of...well I want to show you...don’t make fun of me ok?” Hinata looked up at him quizzically.

            “I would never make fun of you babe,” Hinata said earnestly. “I love you.”

            “Ok, good, um...I love you too,” Kageyama said trying to find the right way to say what he wanted to say. “So... um, and you’re not going to laugh?” Hinata shook is head. “O-ok then um, well then I’ll just...” Kageyama went to unbutton his pants. “Can you close your eyes?”

            “Oh my god Tobio,” Hinata said closing his eyes. “I hope this is worth all this fuss.”

            “Me too,” Kageyama chuckled as he set aside his pants. “Ok um...you can open your eyes now.” Hinata’s eyes fluttered open. Once he saw Kageyama his mouth opened and gaped at him.

            “Holy...” Hinata breathed. His eyes traveled down from Kageyama’s bare tattooed chest down to the thin red lace underwear just barely covering his straining dick. Kageyama moved his hands over his arms trying to subconsciously cover himself. He stood there silent, growing more and more embarrassed as the silence stretched on.

            “Um are you going to say something or...?” Kageyama asked uncomfortably, shifting in place. Hinata just stared silently at the red lace that contrasted beautifully with Kageyama’s legs. “Ok, yeah this was a bad idea, I’m going to put my pants now and we’ll pretend that this never happen-”

            “Don’t even think about putting pants on,” Hinata said putting his hand up to stop Kageyama. “In fact, don’t even think about putting anything on.”

            “Wait you...you don’t hate it?” Kageyama asked apprehensively.

            “Hate it?” Hinata repeated. “I fucking love it.”

            “But you didn’t say anything,” Kageyama said shoving Hinata’s shoulder.

            “Because I was trying not to come,” Hinata laughed.

            “You made me nervous and self-conscious,” Kageyama said trying to hide his smile.

            “Well, I was trying not to come,” Hinata repeated. “Come here you perv,” Hinata said pulling Kageyama down onto the bed with him. Kageyama followed and crawled on top of Hinata. He straddled his legs around Hinata’s waist, sitting back slightly on his heels. Mesmerized by the sight, Hinata ran his hands over Kageyama’s thighs, bringing them up to play with the hem of the lace, and then back down the sides.

            “Are you going to do anything more than that, at any point?” Kageyama smirked, watching Hinata’s eyes stare at him.

            “You’re going to have to give me a moment,” Hinata said dropping his hands to the bed. He looked up at Kageyama in awe. “What did I do to deserve this? To deserve you?”

            “Sh-shut up,” Kageyama blushed looking away.

            “How can you be so kinky and embarrassed at the same time?” Hinata laughed. Kageyama blushed harder, fighting the embarrassed smile that threatened to spill over his face. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, you look so.... incredibly hot. Like, I’m having difficultly coming up with words right now. Erotic? Yeah, erotic. Maybe lewd? Definitely sexy, like fucking hell this is by far the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

            “I didn’t think you’d be as into this as much as you seem to be,” Kageyama mumbled smiling.

            “Me neither,” Hinata laughed. “And you’re giving me all these ‘I want to be dominated’ thoughts that- and I got to be honest with you- I’m not going to last long enough to see them all through, so we’re going to need to do this again.”

            “That can be arranged,” Kageyama whispered lowering himself to kiss Hinata’s neck. “But what do you want right now?”

            “Wow, um, so many options,” Hinata breathed excitedly. “Can you um...can we...” Hinata made a vague circling motion with his hand then pointed to his dick and then his mouth.

            “The fact that I know what that means,” Kageyama huffed moving to get off of Hinata. “Ok, move up,” Kageyama instructed gesturing for Hinata to get higher up on the bed. Hinata rapidly crawled backwards so that he was lying in the middle of the bed. Slowly, Kageyama crawled over to him. Placing a brief kiss to Hinata’s lips, Kageyama turned around and placed his legs on either side of Hinata’s head and then positioned his own head right over Hinata’s hard cock.

            “Oh my god, it’s even better up close,” Hinata whispered pressing a finger to the tip of Kageyama’s painfully hard dick through the lace. Sucking in a sharp breath, Kageyama tensing his legs on either side of Hinata’s head. “Hey be careful, I’m working down here,” Hinata chided pinching Kageyama’s thigh.

            “You better get to work then,” Kageyama smirked as he fit his mouth gently around the head of Hinata’s cock. Hinata let out a small breath, forgetting momentarily what he was supposed to be doing as Kageyama worked him into his mouth. Kageyama nudged him gently with his foot, snapping Hinata back to reality. He lifted his head up slightly and breathed on Kageyama’s cock, letting the heat of his mouth pierce through the fabric. Bring his hand up, Hinata gently moved aside the lace and let Kageyama spring free. With one hand, Hinata eased Kageyama’s cock into his mouth, taking him in as far in as he could in the first try. Kageyama faltered in his motions as Hinata began to ruthlessly work him in his mouth, sucking and licking Kageyama with such focus that Kageyama let Hinata slide out of his mouth because he couldn’t concentrate.

            “Hmmmn” Hinata hummed around Kageyama’s cock, nudging him with his knee.

            “Sorry,” Kageyama mumbled, pushing Hinata past his lips again. He pushed the flat of his tongue against the tip of his dick, rubbing his piercing along the head. He could feel Hinata tense around him, and he kept the constant pressure of his mouth sucking on the head. Bringing one of his fingers up to his lips, Kageyama lifted his head off Hinata long enough to wet his finger, then fit his mouth over him again. Using one hand to spread Hinata’s legs better, Kageyama took his wet finger and circled Hinata’s entrance eliciting a moan from Hinata that vibrated throughout Kageyama’s whole body.

            “Fuck,” Hinata murmured, breathing heavily against Kageyama’s thigh. Kageyama starting working Hinata faster, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking hard as he pressed in his finger slightly. “I’m-fuck... I’m c-coming,” Hinata gasped as he raked his fingers across Kageyama’s backside. Abandoning Kageyama’s cock for the moment, Hinata threw his head back and panted as Kageyama brought him to a hard and fast orgasm. Spilling into Kageyama’s mouth in hot spurts, Hinata came with a loud cry. Kageyama kept him in his mouth until he whined with over sensitivity. Removing him from his mouth, Kageyama pulled out his finger and wiped it subtly on the sheets before climbing off Hinata and turning on the bed to face him.

            “You good?” Kageyama asked wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

            “Di-did you swallow?” Hinata asked, regaining his breath. Kageyama nodded and shrugged. “Fuck, why is that so hot when you do it?”

            “Cause you’re a perv too,” Kageyama grinned, and Hinata only smiled. He kneeled above Hinata, still hard and exposed from Hinata’s incomplete blowjob.

            “Here come here, let me finish you off,” Hinata said pulling himself into a seated position.

            “It may be over ridiculously quickly, fair warning,” Kageyama laughed, sitting back on his heels. “But I’m not yet willing to admit how much the combination of the lace and swallowing is really pushing me over the edge.”

            “Oh, I have no problems admitting it,” Hinata laughed kneeling in front of Kageyama. “For me it’s the combination your tattoos, the lace, you in general, you swallowing, all of it. I’m surprised I’m not coming again right now just thinking about it.”

            “Oh my god, will you please hurry up,” Kageyama chuckled, throwing his head back. “This boner is becoming painful and I need to come.”

            “Your wish is my command,” Hinata said as he fixed his mouth over Kageyama’s cock. Immediately Kageyama knew that he might last even less time than he originally predicted. Hinata worked him expertly in and out of his mouth, pumping what he couldn’t reach with his hand. He circled his tongue around the head as he thumbed the underside. It wasn’t long before Kageyama was coming.

            “Fuck, you got it in my eye,” Hinata said scrunching one eye that had a small trail of semen going down to his mouth.

            “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Kageyama apologized, trying to clean it off with his thumb.

            “It’s fine,” Hinata smiled as Kageyama leaned over and grabbed a tissue to clean his face. “You’ve come in worse places,” Hinata chuckled as Kageyama wiped his face.

            “Says the guy who came in my hair,” Kageyama retorted, wiping the come that started to drip down Hinata’s face.

            “Ok that was an accident and you know it!” Hinata said defensively, spitting the rest of the come into a tissue. Kageyama just smiled as he got up to throw away the tissues, pulling off the lace underwear with one hand and tossing it on to the pile of discarded clothes. “Besides, remember last Halloween, when you came on my costume _before_ we even left for Kuroo’s party.”

            “I seem to recall you coming in my shoes once,” Kageyama said as he crawled back onto the bed with Hinata.

            “Literally though, why would you have left your shoes in the hallway?’ Hinata asked shaking his head. He moved under the covers with Kageyama, pulling himself close to him. Wrapping his arms around and intertwining their legs, Hinata laid his head on Kageyama’s chest, and Kageyama wrapped his arm around his naked waist.

            “That’s besides the point,” Kageyama sighed, settling in pulling Hinata to his chest.

            “Of course it is,” Hinata exhaled, smiling into Kageyama’s skin. They laid together in a companionable silence, their fingers drawing little patterns on each other’s skin. Kageyama just listened to the sounds of Hinata’s soft breath exhaling against his chest as he nuzzled his face into the top of Hinata’s head. “Um, babe?” Hinata asked quietly after a while. 

            “Yeah?” Kageyama answered softly.

            “What were you, um...” Hinata began unsure. “Back when we were at Yachi’s mom’s house, what were you going to ask me?”

            “I, uh...” Kageyama mumbled. “It’s not that important.”

            “Tobio,” Hinata warned. “Come on, just tell me.” Hinata tilted his head upward to look at Kageyama’s face.

            “I was just wondering,” Kageyama started, not wanting to look at Hinata directly. “Well, I mean, it seems like so many people are starting on the next part of their lives you know? Be that with their partner or whatever.”      

            “Right...” Hinata agreed, waiting for Kageyama to continue. “And...?”

            “And...” Kageyama repeated. He knew what he wanted to say and he could feel it building in his throat. “And, I was wondering if you wanted to get married?”

            “Is that you proposing?” Hinata asked with a raised eyebrow.

            “No, no,” Kageyama said quickly. “This is me trying to find out if you think that at some point in the future you see us getting married.”

            “Honestly,” Hinata began, “not really.”

            “Oh,” Kageyama said a bit deflated.

            “Wait, hold on,” Hinata said seeing Kageyama’s reaction. “I meant like, I don’t see us getting married because I just never saw myself getting married. I mean, call it cliché, but I’m the kid of divorced parents, marriage just never really appealed to me.”

            “I understand,” Kageyama nodded. He did understand but he couldn’t hide how upset he felt.

            “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you forever,” Hinata said. Kageyama blinked down at Hinata. “I love you, and I told you before in that hospital bed, we are going to be together for a very long time. And I meant it.”

            “I love you,” Kageyama whispered smiling softly down at Hinata.

            “I know you do,” Hinata smirked. “But if you ever felt like you needed to get married, I’d do that for you.”

            “That’s ok,” Kageyama said shaking his head. “I trust you. I see my whole life with you. I just wanted to make sure you saw that same thing.”

            “All I see is you and Aiko and us together,” Hinata whispered.

            “But um,” Kageyama began. “I’ve also been thinking about, um... other things.”

            “Care to be more specific?” Hinata smirked.

            “About us, you know,” Kageyama said. “Our family.”

            “What about it?” Hinata asked curiously.

            “What do you think about...” Kageyama took a deep breath. “I was thinking about...um, maybe we could...”

            “Are you going to tell me?” Hinata smiled watching Kageyama struggle.

            “What if we had another kid?” Kageyama rushed out. “One that’s yours and mine. That we raise together, you know, as both of their parents. N-not that Aiko isn’t yours, she totally is. You’re her dad; I mean she calls you dad. May-maybe I’m just not saying this right I just thought that maybe you’d want to raise one with me.” Hinata just stared at him wide-eyed and silent. “Or, you know, not. We don’t have to, it was just an-”

            “You want to expand our family?” Hinata asked quietly. Kageyama could see Hinata’s eyes grow watery. “With me? You want to have another child with me?”

            “Yes,” Kageyama breathed. “I know you’ve always wanted a family, and I want to have that with you. I want Aiko to have siblings and have our kids grow up with a lot of people who love them. And I want to have a family with the person I love most in the world.”

            “Tobio,” Hinata whispered. “I want that more than anything.”

            “Good,” Kageyama smiled tenderly. “ Me too.”

            “We’re going to have a baby,” Hinata murmured. “Like a real baby.”

            “Well, _we’re_ not going to have one,” Kageyama said. “A lady will.”

            “Shut up,” Hinata laughed. “You knew what I meant.”

            “I did,” Kageyama chuckled as he leaned down ever so slightly to press his lips gently against Hinata’s.

            “But, Tobio,” Hinata said pulling away for a second. “We need to figure out the logistics of having another baby. Like the costs of having two kids. Or if we would need to move to a bigger apartment- or a house. Or actually finding a woman to have our baby. Or actually-”

            “Ok, do we have to do that right now?” Kageyama asked.

            “Oh, no,” Hinata said embarrassed. “I just um... sorry, I got really nervous and excited for a second.”

            “It’s fine,” Kageyama laughed. “We can do all that later. Trust me, there is so much to figure out, you have no idea.”

            “Yeah, I’m kind of scared to find out,” Hinata frowned in concern.

            “But we can do it,” Kageyama smiled. “We’ll be fine.”

            “Yeah, we’ll be fine,” Hinata smiled back, a bit nervously. “But, you’re not nervous or scared? Are you sure you want to get into this responsibility with me?”

            “I love you,” Kageyama said back, feeling his chest constrict with happiness. “And that’s enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!!!


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